44 year old loser!!

[Rollo Tomassi]

 

[Latinoman]

I wonder what happened to him. Did he succeed?

 

[tmpgstx]

Rollo, what's your take on guys raised by single mothers? Have you noticed any patterns in the way they behave or go after girls?

 

[Solomon]

You must unlearn that which you have learned. There is no such thing as a 'Player' only men with or without options. You're on the right path doing boot camp (and keep reading the DJ Bible), but much of what you will learn will go against the grain of what you have ben taught and have internalized for more than half your life with regards to women and their behaviors. Keep an open mind.

The path of least resistance would be to give up or 'settle' for what you can get given your present state of dejection. Dont fall into this trap and waste more precious time with someone less rewarding than you are willing to put effort into. I say this because you stated that you were "dumped by someone you weren't really that into." Why are you wasting time like this? Time a precious resource (particularly for yourself), why waste it on less than optimal propositions? This is time you could've better spent on pursuing better and more prospects.

As I stated before, there are no 'Players' only men with options. What are your options? From the words you used in your post I can see that you subscribe to a goal oriented approach towards women - this is the single most self-limiting ideology you can have. A marriage/LTR should never be an achievement for a man, rather it is the result, the byproduct of his independence and personal successes.

A woman should only ever be a compliment to a man's life - never the focus of it.

Unlearn your goal orientation in this regard, success isn't defined in marriage or an LTR. Single at 44 (soon 45) you are the envy of man-dom, because you have what those of us already married and settled down do not - time. Time to use as you please, unburdened by the accountability, liability and resonpsibility that being yoked to another person and family cost. That's not to disparage family life, but it is to make clear that men are defined by how they handle their own solitude. How well we do on our own defines our confidence and independence - two of the most attractive qualities women seek in men.

I constantly get this "I need a girlfriend now or I'll be a lonely only old man in my retirement" argument from teenage boys who already have this 'goal' mentality engrained into their personalities. So I'll tell you what I tell them, would you rather risk loneliness and pursue what is best for you or spend a lifetime with a partner you settled for enduring the responsibilities that came along with doing so?

The good news is that I know divorced and nevermarried men of 50 that are extremely successful both financially and personally who pull tail more in their 40's and 50's than they did in their 20's or 30's because they made this connection. They matured and are benefiting from this wisdom and understanding of how to employ it. The bad news is I also know several 60+ year old men who are still AFCs, both divorced and married, who will never break this internalization and continue in making women a criteria for personal success, affirmation and fulfilment. Nothing is to be more pitied than the financially successful 65 y.o. man who still chases after women, seeking their approval, putting them on the pedestal they've belonged on for decades, who've made women the PRIZE and have him tell you, "Women, eh? I guess us men will never understand 'em."

Dont let this be your fate.

This is hands down the best post I have ever Seen by Mr tomassi, usually I skip his stuff but this stuff rings louder then a mother****a!

 

[fertileTurtle]

I'm just too damn serious..., I've got to learn to laugh and smile..., to have a good time! Right now I worry about everything I say or do and that makes me uncomfortable. Man, I am way f#ck'd up here. I'm at two extremes; my old way of thinking vs. that which I read and follow from you guys. This has set up some dynamic tensions inside me that I wasn't expecting.

I've heard Seattle women really suck. I read something here on these boards a couple years back that scared the hell out of me to even go there. But pretty woman are wired to love sex too, so even some hyperfeminism can't stop the old human need to breed. I would take it as a challenge and treat it as a problem with American women in general. I would say that most are hard to approach compared to most foreign women.

You are so correct about relaxing. You never want to take women and sex too seriously. It's all a fuking game and no one knows it all. And women are like toys to me. I'm not saying they have no souls, but as far as sex and relationships go, they are here for my benefit, or I want nothing from them at all. I am the boss of me and my fuking orgasms or sports, or whatever else and whoever else I do forever and always, amen.

And the "relax" part comes from your frame of reference. You must control and dominate your life so much that control and domination of a woman is nothing. What that means to me is I zig when someone tells me to zag. I do not play by anyone's rules but my own. I may go along until I get strong enough to turn the tide, but I will not be ruled by anyone.

I know that sounds very hard to do in a society that tries to rule you. It seems that everyone is trying to cram themselves into your space and take over, but the more I adapt this not only "me first" attitude, but also this "me and only me" attitude I seem to get more done that I WANT done and have an easier time controlling women. I live life on my terms, and that does not mean that I have not morals and I'll just do any damn thing to anyone and not care, but that what I care about and who I care for is my own damn business and everyone else can shove it, because I don't care what you think about what I do.