You need to read the DJ bible for sure. I have similar traits to you, maybe a little less extreme, but I used to err on the side of 'nice guy'. This simply does not work, women are not attracted to a nice guy (read beta). You will have to completely rethink how you believe you should behave around women. I would say the first thing you need to do is read the DJ bible, and maybe start by reading the Rational Male. You have to change your mindset first, that is the building block of everything else.
You can't just start gaming women with routines and memorized techniques, you have to understand the dynamic between men and women first.
It can be a hard pill to swallow, but basically everything that is told to you by your mom, sister, friends, media etc. really is heavily influenced by the feminine imperative. The funny thing is, even though feminism has become so prominent and far-reaching, women's attraction still is rooted in that basic primal desire to fvck the stronger more dominant man. A dominant man does not suck up to women, he is not the classic nice guy.
I have started to notice (since I 'took the red pill') that women's behavior (and mens) follows patterns and rules surprisingly regularly. Obviously there out outlying cases, but its almost comical how most interactions follow a certain pattern that many other men on this site have observed time and time again. Its powerful knowledge, and its fun to try and learn.
As far as being a 43 year old virgin............that is going to be tough to build confidence to game women with no sexual experience. I was a 20 when I lost my v-card, and that was hard enough. All my friends had gotten laid, and I felt like I always had a disadvantage. Only now, at 30 am I realizing that I am starting to have an advantage in the dating marketplace.
This might be extreme, but it might even be worth thinking about a higher quality prostitute to gain some sexual experience with the actual mechanics of it all. Not that its complicated, but I think if you had banged a few times before you would have infinitely more confidence than being in completely new territory. The question is, would paying for sex lower your confidence more than the experience would raise it? Would it be a net gain? For me, I think it would be a net gain because I would view it as practice and research, you may feel differently.
Alternatively, perhaps you could find a chick out there like in the movie '40 year old virgin'. A chick that would be open about helping you out. I would say this is pretty unlikely. The reality is, its a cold harsh world out there for dudes in the dating scene. Chicks really don't feel like doing you any favors, they mostly only care if you make their lady parts tingle.
