41 and nothing

[ogre]

Hi all! I haven't posted for over 1/2 a year, during that tiem I've been though Hell. My home and place of business burned down, my life was ruined, I was homeless and on public assistance. so I had other things on my mind besides dating. but all these disasters did not seem to effect on my dating success. I wasn't gettin' nuttin' before and I still ain't gettin nuttin. the problem hasn't changed. I meet a girl, either in person or online, but after the initial meeting, nothing happens. rarely do I get a date and even rarer still 2nd date. and I'm so out of practice when I do go on dates that I'm just not smooth. last date I went on I blushed like a little girl. that's not something i have any control over. At my age they're expecting certain level of sexual maturity..... they're not wanting to date teenage boys, which is where my social skills are at.

without going into details, people who know me can't see what the problem is. that is, I am a reasonably intelligent and decent-looking guy with a least some basic DJ skills, enough to approach women and get digits or email reply-back. IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS HARD. that is, I don't expect to be a DJ overnight, but damn, I should be getting a little play now and then.

I spent some money on doc love's book, which I feel is a rip-off, derek vitialio's e-books which are OK but more suitable for guys in their 20's. and recently got the package from CR james . all good info but I haven't finished it yet. I haven't bought d'angelo's stuff 'cause it's so damn expensive and I'm tired of paying for programs that seem to work for everybody but me. I'm thinking about getting his new CD set for internet dating, since I've been using Myspace a lot but still have the same problems. what do you all think?

 

[Bhekizwe]

41??
Rebuild yourself first (business etc) before plunging into the dating game.

At 41, young girls(20s-30s) should be easy game
Derek Vilatio seems like an older guy above 30, so he is nearer to your age (thus relating to his methods).In fact most guys with seduction ebooks semm to be above 30 years.

The key is to find some you relate to, then buy his material and keep corresponding with the author (email whatever) to ensure steady improvement and competence in your dating skills.Ask him questions,present problems to him etc you will get better and better as a result in the dating game

 

[WaterTiger]

Personally, I'd quit throwing money away on dating books. They all say pretty much the same thing that our own DJ Bible says. And it's FREE!

I'm really sorry to hear about your misfortune, but I know you can pull through and rebuild it even better. Foucus on YOU for a while, there will always be women around for the taking.

 

[ogre]

here is my myspace profile

yeah it's pretty hard to score with women when I'm unemployed, on public assistance and living in da 'hood. but actually my fire story does win some sympathy points. good news is I just got a new place, a way cool pad, and the landord and I are building a shop in back of the house so I'll be back in the business soon.

since I am on the net a lot I specifically need help with that. I think if I could just get more 1st dates off the 'net (like at least one a week) I'd have enough practice under my belt and all the other interpersonal and sexual skills discussed in dyd and other books would come into play.

I've done some outrageous C+F email volleys with chicks that should have been a sure score, as good as any DJ, but when it comes time to "OK let's go out" they just flake. I just don't get it.


view my myspace profile here:

http://www.myspace.com/17117653

please send me your comments!

 

[Golden Arms]

Wow man, I am sorry to hear about your misfortune

Did you have insurance that covered the damages ?

 

[reyalp]

(the following is just my opinion, i'm not a great DJ by any means)

i'd find some place you don't ming going to every day, like a small mom+pop coffee shop, and go there, make friends with the owner, get a good "home base" going. somewhere you feel comfortable and you know everybody.

line up a date there every chance that you can. if they show up, great, if not, you get to spend time at your favorite shop enjoying the company. just read a book and set your cell phone alarm for 30min after the date was supposed to take place. read until she shows up or your alarm goes off, if the alarm goes off, just leave and give the owner "the signal". then if she shows up ridiculously late, the owner can say "hey are you looking for ogre?" and then he can tell her you had to leave, something important came up.

internet girls are flakes to begin with, so you've got to increase the numbers to make up for the flake factor.

as far as increasing your success on myspace for the actual date itself, i'd say that when you have a good C&F volley going, maybe throw in "i bet you're not this sassy in person!" and then when she says "wanna bet?" or whatever, set up the date. make it a "prove it" scenario. but always make her have to qualify herself to you.
for instance, i do a blonde/brunette neg hit thing. if she's blonde, i say how i prefer brunettes and that i'd consider dating her if she dyed her hair. i rag on blondes a little and then make an exception.
i had one girl that i pulled this on outright say "omg you as5hole!" when i ragged on blondes, but i got the IM and number the easiest out of this one, even though i kind of crossed the line on ragging on blondes. she's had some medical problems lately so no date just yet.

but anyway, that's my take on the situation.

here's your grain of salt
.

 

[white sox bill]

Ya know Ogre, like a boxer who just got nailed, you just gotta get up and keep boxing, painfull as it is. I feel for for you with your personal losses, but you have your health right? Ask a lot of terminally ill people if they would trade places with you, I'm sure they all would. But this reply isn't about that kind of thing. Its about geting Orge up and running again and being the kind of man that HE knows he can be. You have all the tools, the brains and the looks. The money thing--remember $$ is a renewable resourse and plenty of poeple have become rich overcoming much worse circumstances that you are in.

I think you have some good suggestions here, now go execute them. There are times when my self confidence takes a hit, like NOW, last month I had some plastic surgery done and still have a few minor scabs. I thought, you know I could become a social ingrate and stay in for a few more weeks, but NO I'm going out and about this Sat PM, screw the scabs.

Remeber Bro, no girl likes guys who throws pity parties for themselves....now get out there and start getting your game on and get yourself up!! Good luck!
Bill

 

[ogre]

hows this for C+F?

she headlined her profile with some nonsense about "power shared" so I opened with.....

but will you share your power?
always..lol
yeah.... all the girls say that... at first....
Is not even about being a girl..is about being a person..and sharing the good things u have to offer...

I know that I try to share whatever power I might have...but with that I also (like it or not) share my negativity as well..


then lay it on me, baby. you can hurl your emotional puke my way. just consider yourself forwarned when it's my turn to let my demon out of his box. I can see it now....The arguments will be brutal.....The make-up sex will be terrific....
I think we r talkin about two different things here....
maybe.....maybe not....

but you know, we Capricorns kinda have this understanding about fairness. it's important to us.

btw when's your birthday?

Dec. xx ..urs??

no way!
how did you know that was my birthday ?!?!?!
r u serious??? We have the same DOB

different year but same day

let's celebrate!

how's thursday?


what kind of a cap r u?


polite and reserved at first but incredibly sexy when tweaked properly. think u can handle it?


Why would I have to handle it???? lol


You don't have to. But if you are nice to me and buy me dinner, I might let you.

B.


Hahaha..good one!!!! Try again!! lol

Try again?!?!?

Honey if you want me to keep you entertained all night long you'd better be buying dinner, drinks and maybe even a tank of gas.

I will take u to all u can eat for $3.99..LOL...how abou that????

oh, can I? can I really??? oh goodie!!! Then I'll take you out to the soup kitchen where we can eat for free!

Damn...that is an offer I cant resist...LMAO


thursday comes and goes - nothing happens. on Friday I write:

what.............?


you're gonna leave me hangin'?


babe I'm goin' out tonight with or without you. And ain't no soup kitchen. Leaving at 8:30.


next day I get:

Damn man..

I was gonna go for the soup, but the bf didnt let me..lol

Maybe next time...lol

Hope u have a great soup!!!! =-)


2 days later I write:


all kidding aside, I did not go to a soup kitchen Friday night. I was at (hip nightclub), appearing as a guest musician with (cool rock band). pls see new pix in my pic page and the new link in my profile.

it was nice chatting with you, Cap.


Wow...That is great...let me know when u r playing again...if u want to that is..I would love to check it out one day..I enjoy music... I will take a look at the pics...as for me..Friday I went to get a new tattoo..it looks cute I think...after that I came home and stayed here..I need some rest...

Nice chatting with u too..Cap!!

So I wait a few days then write:

I dunno, Cap, I'll have to think about it. I know you're just dyin' to show me your new tat. maybe we can do the Thursday night open jam in (nearby town). you'd like it - they serve free hot dogs....

2 days go by....nothing...so I write:


I may have to skip the hot dogs this week - maybe have another commitment - not sure yet.

but I've been invited to play as as a guest with my friend's band on Saturday in (another nearby town)

anyway, cap, I'm giving you a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression. try not to mess it up, ok?


2 days have gone by and stil nothing. no date for tomorrow night. and i'm playing in a rock band. I just don't get it....

 

[reyalp]

just a quick critique of the profile

i'd move the half nekkid chick off your top 8. i'd probably also move jillian ann.
replace these with guy friends.

the "who i'd like to meet" sounds a little arrogant i think, beyond C&F.
i'd put something funny in there, like the Governator.

your profile shows you're there for everything (dating, relationships, friends, networking). i'd just make it say friends and networking.

next time you play at a bar, have some girls get up on stage around you. get someone to snap a photo.
make this your profile photo.
social proof, brotha.

just some little tweaks i guess.



if you really wanted to take the social proof to the extreme, look up a hottie 1500mi away, copy her stuff to a new profile, and add the fake profile to your friends. have "her" comment on your profile.



dunno, i could be completely off base though. i'm just trying to point out what i think could be contributing to the poor response rate.



i'd say in myspace not to come right out and act like you're looking for a woman. it just reeks of desparation, women run very fast from that. some of these girls aren't even on here for dating, but sometimes you can still game them into it.

read 'da dynamically's "Myspace Macking 101" thread as well



but don't headgame yourself into why a girl stops writing back. play the field, don't get too worried about it, the numbers can make up for any flakes.

 

[ogre]

noted.
"here for" removed

and thank you for "Myspace Macking" I will try it!

 

[al77]

Re: here is my myspace profile

Originally posted by ogre
view my myspace profile here:

http://www.myspace.com/17117653

please send me your comments!

1. You have way too many pics. BTW the best pic of you is your profile. Make it the main pic (you and Maus). But dont comment "He died.." tahts not a good beginning.

Take off that bush pic. No politics. If she loves bushes you won't bang her just cuz of that?

Main pic needs to be changed..Put you and Maus - would be 1000% better.

The very last pic doesn't look good at me. I would take it off.




2. The way you write conveys a very specific message: a) you are smart but at the same time quite "upractical" - this might be a turn off for women. b) you are not down to earth.
I guess you may want to consider changing that a little bit?