4 am calls... WTF? HELP!!!

[Diesel69]

OK guys heres m deal...

I’ve been seeing this girl for about 2 weeeks now. Things are moving pretty quickly . I F-closed her on the second night and shes held me hostage aat her apartment for most of the week. She claims that shes developed a lot of feelings for me, and quite honestly I feel the same about her. I feel like shes deffinetly a keeper.

WWAAITT...

Heres my concern... She claims that shes not involved with AnyONE , at all!!... That she’s only interested in me. But she keeps getting phone calls at the most random times at night, actually tonight he called at 3:57AM.

The same guy calls during the day, and she always tells him that sh can’t talk at the moment. I dont know what to do with this situation!. Should I confront her about it? cause after all a casual "friend" dosent call you at 4am, nor its thinking about you at that time... Or do I just keep letting it slide and keep my mouth shut?

My concern is that I dont wanna seem jelaous or come across as insecure. But I think that thats a little innapopiate.

Any Feedback would be GREATLY apreeciated!!

Thanks guys!

-Diesel

 

[WaterTiger]

I'm thinkin' AFC/Stalker ex-boyfriend that wants her back....you may want to reconsider.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Yeah man, what kind of a normal person calls at 4am?

I'd just tell her to turn her phone off before bed.

 

[jophil28]

Heres my concern... She claims that shes not involved with AnyONE , at all!!... That she’s only interested in me. But she keeps getting phone calls at the most random times at night, actually tonight he called at 3:57AM.

All attractive women who are socially actie have "orbiters" and /or EX's..

After he calls again say this, " I am getting the strong impression that there is some guy still in your life who won't let go. I have a personal rule that I never get into triangles." Say it with a polite smile. Then say NOTHING..she will then tell you SOME of what you want to know and will minimise things and try to dismiss the significance of the phone calls and her connection with "him ".

Do not negotiate, do not be " understanding " or accept any suspect BS. YOu may hear the old standby , "Oh he is just a friend "...
(How many of YOUR friends call you at 4am?)

IF you do hear her trying to BS you, or do not hear her explanation as totally plausable, stay cool and polite , and say again, " I never get into triangles...EVER. If you are I have a talk ,in the future, about an exclusive relationship, then this could be a problem. "

Then say no more. Not one more word even if she babbles on with more of an "explanation" about him. LIsten,but do not say a word .You have made your position clear without acting needy and possessive, but in a manner which tells her that you have expectations . You also send the message that you have self respect which you are not willing to compromise. And you said it all without making one demand.

 

[AAAgent]

totally agree with jophil. Stand your ground and keep her on her toes at all times.

 

[Corey]

Sounds like you are dating my ex! her ex kept calling at stupid o clock when drunk trying to get back with her. Very ****ing annoying, Told her to talk to him but tell him that calling at that time was unacceptable lol, but it seemed to work.

Just make sure you don't give her too much time! She will soon get bored otherwise. Make yourself busy, go to the gym anything!

 

[WC2]

All attractive women who are socially actie have "orbiters" and /or EX's..

After he calls again say this, " I am getting the strong impression that there is some guy still in your life who won't let go. I have a personal rule that I never get into triangles." Say it with a polite smile. Then say NOTHING..she will then tell you SOME of what you want to know and will minimise things and try to dismiss the significance of the phone calls and her connection with "him ".

Do not negotiate, do not be " understanding " or accept any suspect BS. YOu may hear the old standby , "Oh he is just a friend "...
(How many of YOUR friends call you at 4am?)

IF you do hear her trying to BS you, or do not hear her explanation as totally plausable, stay cool and polite , and say again, " I never get into triangles...EVER. If you are I have a talk ,in the future, about an exclusive relationship, then this could be a problem. "

Then say no more. Not one more word even if she babbles on with more of an "explanation" about him. LIsten,but do not say a word .You have made your position clear without acting needy and possessive, but in a manner which tells her that you have expectations . You also send the message that you have self respect which you are not willing to compromise. And you said it all without making one demand.

There's no better advice on this thread than this.

 

[Mavrick]

Don't look at this situation in a way in which you must manipulate her to get what you want out of her. That's weak, and that's what most guys come on this forum looking for. So, ask her about the phone calls, but don't say anything in return when she answers. If she sees that you are concerned, and she has high interest, she will put an end to it. It's a chance for you to find out where her interest is.

Once you have asked and things don't change, the best thing to do is back off. That always gets them thinking. Never ask her to stop because that pushes them away and towards the other person if there is another person. Also, if you're always around, even when they're doing something you don't like, they'll take advantage of the situation and keep doing it and maybe do it more.

When you have backed off, she will be the one to ask you what the issue is (that is if she has a high level of interest). That is your opportunity to tell her what you think, not in a mean way, but in a way that displays your independence. Say something like "oh, I just didn't want to get serious because you still seem to be interested in other guys". She'll probably get mad and say something mean, but it's best for you to stand up for what you said, and not let her change your mind. Why? Because you want a woman that has your best interests at heart. You want a woman that cares about your feelings and not one that only looks out for her own interests and tries to manipulate you in the process so she can have her cake and eat it too.

Oh, and another thing. Why are you spending all your time with this woman? The more time you spend with her like you are, the quicker it'll all be over. You've got to have your own life to keep her interested.


Good luck, bro!

 

[Diesel69]

Thanks guys !! Really!!! Thanks... great advice!!

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

If this was some kind of stalker / ex-boyfriend... Why would she tell him she will talk to him later? Wouldnt you think she would tell him to stop calling and it is over??

Obviously she didnt wanna talk to him infront of you...

 

[Ganondorf]

If this was some kind of stalker / ex-boyfriend... Why would she tell him she will talk to him later? Wouldnt you think she would tell him to stop calling and it is over??

Obviously she didnt wanna talk to him infront of you...

sometimes chicks feel bad about just outright dumping some guy. that takes balls to do, something alot of chicks don't have. they don't want to be "mean"

so they'll just keep talking to him and dropping hints of moving on, hoping that they'll just disappear one day

sorry to say, but it don't work that way lol

this is probably some ex of hers.