38, single, beta and lost. Is that it?

[ludvig.peers]

Thanks in advance to anyone reading this post. I am a newbie here but I am trying to get help anywhere I can. I am a 38 single guy, well-fit (I believe I am between 7/10 and 8/10 in appearance) with a good engineering career (not wealthy) who had a few situations of Oneitis in his life, the one being two months ago (and by Oneitis I refer to the relationship ending because of me slightly exposing my vulnerability and the need to keep that unique girl in my life), and who has major self-esteem and aging issues. I have been with quite a few women, with most of whom I would have an 1-month sexual-mostly relationship and end it because of the belief that I could do better. Most of these girls were 6s or 7s (I apologize for objectifying women here but I see that in most communities, PUA etc., they are talking about 9s and 10s to describe a woman's appearance, so I will try and give you some idea here as well). Whenever an 8 or 9 would appear in my life that's when the Oneitis would arise and this has happened in total 4 times. After a short 1.5 month relationship with a beautiful girl 10 years younger than me, I hit rock bottom. I am feeling that I am too old to regain my self-esteem and that the years have passed and I won't be able to fulfill my dream to have a healthy relationship with an 8 (as I obviously already feel inferior to her even by looking at her). People believe because I am good at my job that I am an alpha male. I strongly believe that I am a Beta and the Alpha only appears when I flirt with a girl, that the odds look good from the start (from an appearance perspective). Any advise or help would be much appreciated guys as this has started to influence my everyday life in all social aspects of it. Can I fix my confidence and start dating a young beautiful woman at this age? I am really in the dark here.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Thanks in advance to anyone reading this post. I am a newbie here but I am trying to get help anywhere I can. I am a 38 single guy, well-fit (I believe I am between 7/10 and 8/10 in appearance) with a good engineering career (not wealthy) who had a few situations of Oneitis in his life, the one being two months ago (and by Oneitis I refer to the relationship ending because of me slightly exposing my vulnerability and the need to keep that unique girl in my life), and who has major self-esteem and aging issues. I have been with quite a few women, with most of whom I would have an 1-month sexual-mostly relationship and end it because of the belief that I could do better. Most of these girls were 6s or 7s (I apologize for objectifying women here but I see that in most communities, PUA etc., they are talking about 9s and 10s to describe a woman's appearance, so I will try and give you some idea here as well). Whenever an 8 or 9 would appear in my life that's when the Oneitis would arise and this has happened in total 4 times. After a short 1.5 month relationship with a beautiful girl 10 years younger than me, I hit rock bottom. I am feeling that I am too old to regain my self-esteem and that the years have passed and I won't be able to fulfill my dream to have a healthy relationship with an 8 (as I obviously already feel inferior to her even by looking at her). People believe because I am good at my job that I am an alpha male. I strongly believe that I am a Beta and the Alpha only appears when I flirt with a girl, that the odds look good from the start (from an appearance perspective). Any advise or help would be much appreciated guys as this has started to influence my everyday life in all social aspects of it. Can I fix my confidence and start dating a young beautiful woman at this age? I am really in the dark here.

38 is not old. You’re in the prime of your life.

You need to start spinning plates (dating multiple women at the same time). This will help you develop an attitude of abundance toward women. If one of them is busy or showing lack of interest, just move on to another one.

Make your own life and your own interests a priority. That has nothing to do with women. You have a good career, and you’re good looking. If you combine that with confidence and the attitude that you are following your interests, you will automatically be attractive to women. But remember, your own life is your mission, doing what you want and improving yourself is what is important. Getting laid or having a girlfriend is a secondary priority.

Also, check out therationalmale.com by Rollo. Start with the earlier blog entries. It will help you to understand male/female relationships. It will also help reinforce the concept that your life is important and that you should stop pedestalising women.

-Augustus-

 

[floyd1977]

Maybe you should pull back and work on yourself and your confidence a bit. Men aren't actually alpha or beta in my opinion, you likely have just been conditioned to behave beta in certain situations and that's a hard thing to break. So take a step back, identify when the beta appears and work on it. Create a happy life centered on yourself and the women will fall into place. I'm 41 and that's why i'm trying to do. Making picking up the really hot chicks the goal is still making them the center when you should be the center.

 

[sosousage]

if you are 8/10 in appearance and fit and have good money then you can date 18yo girls they like older guys.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Its funny how they beg and attempt to rational with female hypergamy as if it would compromise.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

if you are 8/10 in appearance and fit and have good money then you can date 18yo girls they like older guys.

If a broke ass, drive a Harley, have barbwire tattoos, handle bar mustache, are a real *******, and relatively attractive, women barely legal will crater their SMV.

Female empowerment lulz because there's nothing more empowering then needing daddy government when her best years are over, fat as ****kkk, single mom, and can't get the ring.

Girl power!

 

[floyd1977]

Women love what you are not who you are.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Women love what you are not who you are.

Feminism and #metoo are the ultimate **** tests.