38 and maybe just starting.

[Rogue One]

My first post...So, I guess I tell my story.

I married at 21, and then spent the better part of five years scraping together over $120K to pay for her college through a master's degree. I always expected some reciprocation for that, but that was never going to happen. I should have spent that money on my education. A couple of kids later, I was laid off in 2012 and she decided she wanted a divorce in 2013. It was complete last year. She didn't allow me to have contact with my children for over a year. She didn't count on me showing them a journal and all the phone logs and returned letters I had sent to them.

Anyway, on to now. I am starting to try and build a life. I took up photography, hiking, and guitar, all for me really. I started trying to get back in shape this year.

I had a little success with women, but these were all low quality women and every time at the end of an intercourse session, I literally was left thinking, "Why in the hell am I doing her? I don't even like her." So I decided that if I couldn't jerk off to her in a fantasy, she had no business in my bed either. I want to know how to get better. I live in a college town with a lot of young women and I may seem dirty, but I want a piece of that action. I can't imagine being married again. I also don't want women with kids that expect me to take care of them.

 

[logicallefty]

First off, welcome to our forums. Second off, sorry to hear about your situation. Third off, you have came to the right place with many, many, many men who have been through similar as you. +1 right here.

The most important thing is TAKE CARE OF #1 FIRST. And it sounds like you are doing that by taking up new hobbies and getting back in shape. Also, get in contact with as many friends and possible and keep busy. But also know that going out alone is better than not going out at all.

As for your dating situation right now, there are a lot of things to consider. First off, do you think you ready to be dating? Only you know. I personally am one who doesn't take much time off between relationships. I get right back into it. But, I do it with the right expectations, that is the key.. It's extremely important. I never, ever, ever go looking for my next GF or wife, ever and especially not on the rebound. I go out looking for temporary fun from women by companionship and if sex happens then it happens, if it doesn't then it doesn't. You mentioned dating low quality women. There is the argument that dating women who are below your standards can get your confidence and game built back up to getting to women who are your standards. But if you aren't enjoying the dates or getting anything out of it then don't do it. But if you get any entertainment or pleasure out of it, then no harm in it. I like to use this mindset here. It really keeps my mind in the right place regarding women I am with:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=221281

Again, welcome to SS.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Don't worry about your age difference with the chicks you want to bang. Just make sure you're in shape, dress well and give off the aura of a man with status, money and who has his shyt together but who can still have a good time and knows how to have fun.
I wouldn't be going for teenagers though, aim for the early 20s crowd who might be looking to fvck a guy with a little more refinement than the usual college douches.

 

[G_Govan]

If young women are attracted to you there's no reason to worry about age. You will however be shamed by other people who are jealous, don't let it bother you. Enjoy yourself.

Teens are only good for sex, their immaturity will annoy you rather quickly.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Philippines buddy... join the club.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Rogue,
Something similar happened to me at 37....Believe me you are at your peak just remember never let them put their feet under your table...never see any one,more than four nights a week...never have less than three plates spinning ,life for you will just get better and better...can you believe at my age it is still improving,but it is!

 

[Dante1a]

Welcome, man. You are in an incredibly fortunate situation.

I got divorced in a very similar situation. It was awful.

Took me awhile to recover - BUT- Now I honestly say that I have a life most guys would kill for. I multiple long relationships (MLTRs) with great women, as well as shorter term physical relationships with other girls that I come across in my life. Everybody knows about everyone else and, while I have to handle emotions from time to time from them, it appears to be a healthy and happy situation for everyone involved.

Getting new hobbies was huge for me. The idea is, fill your life with cool stuff. Why not? This also attracts quality women because they admire your passion for something other than them.

Releasing yourself from the need for a LTR relationship is huge. You need to work internally to banish as much neediness and insecurity as possible. Have fun with women that you like and then choose to have a LTR if you both decide to. DO NOT place expectations on any woman. Just focus on fun, good emotions, and passionate sexuality.

You aren't dirty in the least for wanting what you want (within reason, obviously). As long as she is legal, feel free. Many girls LOVE older men, as long as they don't act creepy or emotionally swing off the rails. To them an older man means sophistication, strength, masculine power, and experience. If you complain, whine, are needy, etc - it is a HUGE turn off.Also, don't expect to have a LTR with these girls. They are far too young and have no real sense of what that means. Just have fun.

It is possible to have a great time. Keep positive and finding reasons to love yourself. Don't buy into the bull**** lines that are fed to men who were divorced about how bad they are. It's psychological warfare. Screw it. Be the man you were meant to be!

 

[Johnny Alias]

Couple things here...

A) Women don't reciprocate. Women are not generous. They keep a constant tally on what they've done for you, when they have paid, etc. Any loan to a woman is a gift. Any expectation of being paid back is dubious at best. It's unfortunate but mostly true. The whole what have you done for me lately line and make dat man pay for everything is VERY widespread. I've been suckered more than once. Believe it. But that all comes back around when their looks fade and that sense of self-entitlement literally burns their souls.

B) You've got it made. You are in your prime like others have said. And guess what? YOU'VE ALREADY GOT THE KIDS! That's amazingly great. Opens up tons of women to you that otherwise might have been off limits. Myself? I do want kids and am your age! It SUCKS. I can find plenty that are effing hot and want to bang, but a good wife/mom??? NOPE. Then there are the ones that would be a good gf... but I have to walk away from them.

Be happy. Become the stud of that college town. You know how many of those young chicks want to fvck daddy? Yeah I said it. And youve learned photography???? DUDE. You've got it made. Go rock this. You can get ANY chick you want. Keep workin out. Never stop that.