35 y/o just divorced, feeling depressed

[jdomingos76]

Hi guys, I’m a charming 35 years old guy who just got free from a BPD wife.

Although the divorce bureaucracy is still ongoing I’m already leaving alone.

At the present I’m feeling down and depressed, most at night. I don’t have single friends and don’t have activities except work…

I pass my time at night mostly on facebook. I know I must find things to improve myself. I’m planning to start on the gym and to go back to studying at night in September.

Just would like to listen any advice from single guys with the same age.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

How long have you been married?

any kids in the picture?

If you've been married through most of your 20s up until now, and there are no kids involved, look at it as a brand new lease on life. Time to mentally remove yourself from the idea of being co-dependent with someone and start living for yourself.

I got out of a longterm live in girlfriend of almost 4 years, last summer and I'm just starting to get back all the things that an unhealthy relationship can truly drain from a guy.

It will take some time for you to find your footing after being married, but ti will come.

One day at a time, and remember to get out there and follow your bliss. Do the things that make you happy, all by yourself. That is the best way to live.

 

[Slickster]

If the divorce is still new then no wonder you are feeling a bit down. Its going to take a bit for you to adjust your lifestyle.

Try not to dwell on things in the past right now. Look towards the future and consider this a new opportunity to make your life better. You are going to be meeting tons of new people and doing new things you never thought you would do.

At 35 and being a charming guy, you are going to be amazed at how many young girls are going to be interested in your cool mature self. With experience on your side the game becomes a whole lot easier and fun.

Not having single friends is not a problem. Being removed from a single crowd or group of friends is going to allow you more freedom to date multiple women and keep a low profile. (Which you need to pull it off)

Get off the computer and get out and have some fun and meet people. Joining a rec league for your sport of choice can be a great way to meet women. It doesn't matter what your level of skill is. The novice levels are much better for meeting people as it's not so competitive and people are generally just goofing around and chatting.

This is a great time for change and renewal. You can do all the things you wished you could've been doing but couldn't because you were married. Date 3 or 4 chicks at the same time. Commit to nothing but having a good time. Once you are there, stay in that pocket and enjoy it!!!

Every married guy in the world in some way wishes he could be in your position for a moment of freedom, excitement and possibilities.

Go for it!

 

[KarmaSutra]

I was you at one time Brother.

Welcome to the real world. Who she is, is not who you are. Remember that. Find what makes you passionate and follow that. Follow it until you've exhausted your energy for it.

Then move on to the next thing.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

JDOMINGOS, put an age on your profile.

 

[jdomingos76]

JDOMINGOS, put an age on your profile.

Done!

 

[squirrels]

Gym's a good start.

Just get out of the house and DO something. Pick up a hobby. I used to ride motorcycles and these days I climb at rock gyms. Something that'll keep your energy and focus up...going to the gym is one thing, but if you're not going for a REASON it starts to become hard to motivate yourself. Maybe train for a 5K, join a recreational sports team...the city I'm in has leagues for everything from softball to volleyball to kickball. Go skiing/snowboarding. Take up a martial art. Take classes in something...a lot of the guys here like salsa dancing. Or maybe yoga if you're into that. Go see stuff. Take up a craft...writing, music, sculpting...

Just throwing a ton of stuff out there...if you can find ONE or TWO things then you're halfway there.

The problem with being with the wrong woman is that you find yourself investing almost ALL of your energy in "making things work"...when that's suddenly taken away from you, or when you escape it, suddenly you literally "don't know what to do with yourself". The important thing is that you do SOMETHING.

If you find yourself checking Facebook more than once or twice a day for more than 5 minutes...it's a sign that you need to occupy your time better. If what those other people are doing is THAT interesting, see if you can do it with them...or go do it for yourself. Nothing's stopping you.