30 y/o Indian thoughts

[Lookatu]

Its easier for you to find another Indian girl if you wish to than it is for her to find another caucasian man if you bail on her. Thats why she keeps displaying high interest and keeps returning each time you cut the rope on her. The dynamics will suddenly change the moment she finds another white brother to replace you. She will brutally ditch you, mark my words.

Very good observations SirBigBell. I didn't realize OP was white which certainly changes things.

OP, how long has this girl been in a western country for?

I noticed something similar but different when dealing with Eastern Europeans. They have different approach and thought process the longer they have been in the US for example.

 

[RedBeardless]

Very good observations SirBigBell. I didn't realize OP was white which certainly changes things.

OP, how long has this girl been in a western country for?

I noticed something similar but different when dealing with Eastern Europeans. They have different approach and thought process the longer they have been in the US for example.

10 years. One older sister, married and still back in India. Parents in India as well. Also, she is 1 year divorced from what sounds like an unstable partner. The guy couldn't hold it together and even his mom was concerned about her wellbeing knowing his character. Tragic as it is, she seems to be okay, though perhaps it is filtering through in other ways.

I am relatively new to TRM and Red Pill jargon, though I have practiced my own version with decent success until 2011 or so. I invite pedantic and even basic insights with fleshed out (or cited) examples for what works for the mid-late twenties demographic in general, and for this thread the South Asian 25-30 y/o specifically.

Curious to know more the shifts in thought process and tactics and cultural references that are working to connect these days.

For example, only 35+ y/o folks can see a joke question when I ask it in text. Younger folks take it seriously and answer honestly.

 

[RedBeardless]

Have been away for a couple of days for a 18 hr/day work push. I got the let's be friends text at 10 am today after I sent a hello text. Something about us both being first borns and locking horns in that way. Didn't let it phase me too much, though it was momentarily disappointing. Think it was because I let the kino go away after we sat down for lunch. Could improve the last impression.

Need to work on text game. I am losing leads here and I find it hard to focus on more than one at a time.

Hopefully C19 clears up and dance can come back soon. I think half of my itch here is for just human connection.

What do you recommend for OLD text game?

 

[bat soup]

Have been away for a couple of days for a 18 hr/day work push. I got the let's be friends text at 10 am today after I sent a hello text. Something about us both being first borns and locking horns in that way. Didn't let it phase me too much, though it was momentarily disappointing. Think it was because I let the kino go away after we sat down for lunch. Could improve the last impression.

Need to work on text game. I am losing leads here and I find it hard to focus on more than one at a time.

Hopefully C19 clears up and dance can come back soon. I think half of my itch here is for just human connection.

What do you recommend for OLD text game?

Based on her behaviour (fobbing you off with bs excuses about church and work) she was never interested in the first place.

This is why I said you should avoid thinking too highly of her and imaging her as some kind of ideal woman.

Most likely she was lying to from the beginning and meeting other guys whilst she told you she was at church.

 

[RedBeardless]

Based on her behaviour (fobbing you off with bs excuses about church and work) she was never interested in the first place.

This is why I said you should avoid thinking too highly of her and imaging her as some kind of ideal woman.

Most likely she was lying to from the beginning and meeting other guys whilst she told you she was at church.

There is a line between good faith and not. I find assuming good faith helpful in maintaining frame and what I have come to understand as alpha. I do not idealize her but her potential, which is to say that it exists.

I see interest and I see the hesitation. Both concurrently. She is (or was) interested at one point enough to explore the notion. My game is weak, rusty, and dusty. I am here to improve that.

This is clearly a shvt test. I have been through them before and I am sure it will not be the last. This is a projection of her frame for defense (from getting hurt).

Thank you for your thought. It gave me a good opportunity to explore this in another light.

-Ciao, RBL

 

[Lookatu]

The biggest things I can advise without sounding like a broken record:
- Don't put anyone on a pedestal
- Don't invest too much, too soon
- Don't use logic with women, they are emotional creatures and can zig zag at the drop of a dime without rhyme or reason
- Pay attention to action over words
- Learn to identify low interest behaviors early on so you don't waste time in both texting, talking, thinking, meeting up with them
- Learn to identify common red flags with women
- Let her earn your attention and time. Do not give it freely like a male slvt
- Always look for equal reciprocation. Remember, both sides have to be willing to play and invest. If she's not willing to put forth the effort, nor should you

 

[RedBeardless]

The biggest things I can advise without sounding like a broken record:
- Don't put anyone on a pedestal
- Don't invest too much, too soon
- Don't use logic with women, they are emotional creatures and can zig zag at the drop of a dime without rhyme or reason
- Pay attention to action over words
- Learn to identify low interest behaviors early on so you don't waste time in both texting, talking, thinking, meeting up with them
- Learn to identify common red flags with women
- Let her earn your attention and time. Do not give it freely like a male slvt
- Always look for equal reciprocation. Remember, both sides have to be willing to play and invest. If she's not willing to put forth the effort, nor should you

Good notes, Lookatu. It is never a bad time to review the basics! I feel like I have some of them covered. I am talking to others from OLD, just not journaling it in this thread so it can be about this one particular individual. I like to go deep to understand one example really well whenever possible (promise I am not pedestalizing, but instead digging deep into the story). Partly as a form of coping (academic distancing) and because it does help after I see the path to success at least once. It is a slower path to learning but I find the process more repeatable when I do it this way. Usually.

How do I learn more about these?

1. Don't invest too much, too soon
2. Low interest behavior (indicators)
3. Common red flags of women in 2021
4. Let her earn your attention and time

It seems like a general rule might be Tit-for-Tat. The issue is that there is always a first mover and this person makes the initial investment of time and effort. This is typically the guy. We do the approach and we do the initial engaging. So the idea of not investing too much, too soon and what that looks like is worth reviewing.

-Ciao, RBL

 

[Lookatu]

How do I learn more about these?

1. Don't invest too much, too soon
2. Low interest behavior (indicators)
3. Common red flags of women in 2021
4. Let her earn your attention and time

This is typically the guy. We do the approach and we do the initial engaging.

I'm sure others can chime in and expand their wisdom/knowledge here so I'll keep it short as I don't wanna write a book on each one.

1. Don't invest too much, too soon - This can be both in the sense of emotions and financial/time wise.
Do not get your emotions or hopes high unless she has given clear indication or has earned it in some way. As soon as you get emotional, you become weaker and can't think straight.
Do not make too much effort initially when she hasn't proven herself to be worthy of you. For example, some guys will take a women out for a fancy dinner as a first date. This is too much investment for someone you don't even know.

2. Low interest behaviour - Examples: Does she text you back or respond within a decent time? Does she give you wishy washy answers when you ask her out? Does she cancel or always reschedule dates? Do you sense that she is putting you absolutely last on her priority list?

3. Common red flags - Examples, she always tell stories as portraying her as a victim(ex bf abused her, rape, harrassment, etc), She considers herself a proud feminist, She overly states her support for BLM and other left wing movements, she hasn't had a serious bf or ltr in 10 years, she tells you she has had a few abortions, she doesn't get along with her family or parents, she has 5 cats, she says she loves dogs more than humans, etc.

4. Let her earn your attention and time - In this world of social media, there are tons of thirsty and desperate guys giving likes and commenting on girls for no reason other than their looks. This feeds into her attention wh0re mentality. There are a lot of girls out there that merely want attention from guys without any intent of meeting up with them and doing anything with them. Be cautious of these attention wh0res and learn to identify them early on so you're not wasting your time texting them and to get nowhere.

Yes as men, we lead, we initiate, we do the asking. Just don't be a fool and know when to eject is all I'm saying. Some chase blindly without seeing all the indicators early on and end up wasting time/money/effort on someone that doesn't deserve it.

 

[2Rocky]

Great what 9 other options you got?

Seriously, she has wasted your time already. You could have gotten 9 other prospects in that time...

 

[RedBeardless]

@Lookatu, that writeup was gold! Thank you. I don't mind if you link to resources/articles/books so you don't have to write as much. I do appreciate the time and thought going into it.

@2Rocky How am I supposed to do that? I am on one OLD in a new city. The Photofeeler keeps coming back as Smart, Trustworthy, but not more than average Attractive. I have hobbies which are great for meeting people but COVID. So I am open to options for drumming up the date pipeline. The slower irons in the fire are church and friend network.

 

[RedBeardless]

She pushed pretty hard away today on text. She asked for an agenda to talk on the phone... so I went with mystery (for me to know and you to wonder). She couldn't handle it. It "made her feel icky." No more talking says the text. Then she sends another text rationalizing the position saying she is someone who doesn't like this kind of talk.

Seems like she might respond to a neg.

I'll respond after I wake up, since she takes 30-60 mins to respond typically and it's past the point that I do non-emergency texting.

Anyway, you guys are right. Need to sow more seeds. Love myself a little more and ignore the chaff. On to the next.

 

[RedBeardless]

Regarding mindset, I have collected the following set of media:

1. Craig Ferguson's behavior as a Gold Standard for engaging women:
2. Billy's Guide to Neg Hits is a bit dated, but definitive with reasonable rules of engagement: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/14wyot
3. The Healthy Neg (aka Teasing) Is A Playful Way To Point At Someone's Flaw, which is a useful and appropriate tool to retaliate against the shvt test:

 

[2Rocky]

@2Rocky How am I supposed to do that? I am on one OLD in a new city. The Photofeeler keeps coming back as Smart, Trustworthy, but not more than average Attractive. I have hobbies which are great for meeting people but COVID. So I am open to options for drumming up the date pipeline. The slower irons in the fire are church and friend network.

DO I have to do all the work for you?

https://www.yelp.com/nearme/singles-bars



https://www.active20-30.org/Club-List

What is your Hobby/Sport? Frequent the stores that service those. Look for group activities associated with them.

Only one OLD platform? You could knock out at least 3 or 4 if you wanted...for free

Not to mention FB groups in your new town.

 

[RedBeardless]

DO I have to do all the work for you?
...

Yes, apparently you do. I didn't even know these existed until now. Hope this might be useful to other newbs well.

I do dance and improv. A good deal of women in both.

I was waiting on more OLD accounts until I got photos that got above average Attractiveness on photofeeler.com, which I cannot apparently do for the life of me. And I am not quite desperate enough to drop $100-900 on a pro to do it for me. Yet.