30 - what now?

[Heretolearn]

Hey,

Maybe because I am home sick and injured but I am doing a lot of thinking (I think the goal setting of New years also).

For some strange reason, it REALLY hit me that I am 30. Like wow. No idea but I have taken a really negative view like what now.

I have loved doing sports and learning. I know I can continue and its up to me, I guess it just does not feel the same when 'the world is your oyster' physically when you are younger. That Disney view of doing anything vs having a mortgage, trips to the dentist, work, taxes etc.

So what are some tips/suggestions/experiences of posters here please?

I am single, having been in some relationships that did not last. I have not been in one since the last one ended (aug) as an epic lesson for which I am still appreciating. I have travelled. I have a solid job and like what I do, just often dislike the people I work with. I just got a new boss so I am exploring changing jobs (he is a micro management freak ).

I am doing well financially and fitness wise. So I am happy with my progress. Then I think about the time ticking away.

Hmm, just realised I am also reading 'the last lecture' at the same time. Perhaps that is bringing me down. Anyone read that?

Anyway, stories, tips etc appreciated.

* I am still not sure what I want to do with my life per se. I.e no clear cut path. Still getting to know myself I guess.

 

[DropZone3]

From the sound of your post, you sound like Mr Right. The question is what is really bothering you about the clock ticking? Sometimes its better to be single and finding yourself.

As for my self, I am 32, divorced, and a single dad four days a week with very young kids. My schedule makes meeting women more challenging while yours is open. On the bright side, I go skydiving every two weeks and I am getting back into salsa.

Enjoy your new year my friend.

 

[zekko]

When you reach certain milestones, it's not unusual to realize your mortality and that time is passing. This is healthy, truth is healthy. My experience is that these negative feelings won't last long - once you realize what you're supposed to realize they will pass.

The good news is you're only 30. As I stated in another thread your 30s are really the best time of your life. You have a nice mix of youth, experience, and stability - the best of all possible worlds.

I'd take some time and figure out what it is you really want to do with your life. Time is passing, so use that pressure to get your act together.

 

[Heretolearn]

From the sound of your post, you sound like Mr Right. The question is what is really bothering you about the clock ticking? Sometimes its better to be single and finding yourself.

As for my self, I am 32, divorced, and a single dad four days a week with very young kids. My schedule makes meeting women more challenging while yours is open. On the bright side, I go skydiving every two weeks and I am getting back into salsa.

Enjoy your new year my friend.

Thanks. Nice of you to say. Skydiving and Salsa - awesome combination.

You know the mr right thing. On a disney movie, yeah. In reality, I really am not a guy's guy. Eg. fixing things, interested in mechanical things etc. And my post is not really about the opposite sex. Its about me. I feel lost. The positive is that I can do no wrong (as no set route). I just want to maximise this route I choose as life is short.

Eg. I think that I could live a life of responsibility. Continue the path I am on. Stay fit, pay a mortgage etc etc. I just don't think it would make me happy. I wonder if I could even stay sane. Versus going for glory. Making myself happy. Of course the second choice sounds better, I just have not discovered how yet. I would like to have my own business eventually. I have ran some smaller ones and folded them (good lessons) as they were not my dream. Hoping just stepping stones towards them.

I am inspired to know stories of entrepreneurs such as the founders of KFC and McDonalds who did not make their fortunes/mark until their 50s/60s.

I guess life will figure it out for me and I just have to work at myself until the path becomes clearer.

 

[squirrels]

* I am still not sure what I want to do with my life per se. I.e no clear cut path. Still getting to know myself I guess.

But I still...haven't found...what I'm looking for. -Bono

People who get old...get old because they let themselves get old. They feel it's "inevitable" and they settle down to become pot-bellied pontificating f*cks because they're "tired" of all the adventure and experience life has to offer. If you take care of yourself and keep exercising, keep reading, and keep seeking out the breadth and depth of experience life has to offer, your body may slow down a little as you hit your older years, but you will never "get old".

30 is a GREAT age to be. Not only do you still have your youthful vigor (if you've taken care to maintain it), usually you ALSO have the means to really exploit it. Seek out some great adventures, all the things you've always wanted to do. If you want a wife, find a wife who wants more than just a cuckold paycheck-bearer...someone who wants to take this journey of life with you. If you want to have kids, show them how much FUN life is, at ANY age.

I'm 31...and there's too much in life to worry about "getting old". The phrase, "must be getting old", is used by too many prematurely aged farts to justify them letting their bodies and their minds rot from disuse. You can't sit around watching TV and drinking beer for 5-10 years and then get up and expect to be able to try out for varsity. No matter HOW old you are.

 

[Heretolearn]

someone who wants to take this journey of life with you. If you want to have kids, show them how much FUN life is, at ANY age.


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great responses - thanks. The above really sticks with me.

Has any of the posters made major life changes around 30?

As for me doing what I want, I don't think I would work as much. Yet I work very good hours compared to most - which is a key reason I do my job.

Hence, my wondering am I just wanting the Disney life. I always tried to follow the maxim 'love what you do, and you never work a day in your life' yet it has been out of reach for me as I love many things.

PS - I identify the self limiting beliefs I have - i.e fixing things/being a guy's guy etc. Yet I do not want to change them. I like who I am, I guess I just wonder where I fit/what I should do. I am all about self improvement and am doing much in this regard. I just don't see why I should go to football games when I like basketball just because the norm is football (as an analogy).

 

[Die Hard]

It seems this topic is coming up much lately... As a matter of fact, I will turn 30 in less than 4 weeks too...

I gotta admit it's been hitting me too over the last half a year or so, I feel like I'm getting old. I hate it when 22 year old chicks in clothing stores call me "Sir" and address me with the older version for "you" (my language has two words for "you", one for young people, one for older). I feel like there's an age category from around 18 till 28, which is in between youths and adults, and I begin noticing that I'm not really a part of that group anymore...

Anyway, fvck that sh!t. You don't look at the past and you don't look at the negatives. You focuss on the present and the positives. When I meet those 22 year old chicks from the clothing stores in the club, I'll pick them up . Besides, I work with teenage kids and lots of 15 year old girls feel greatly attracted to me, lol. That just shows that my age is not a problem at all when it comes to picking up girls (if I can attract 15 year olds, I reckon I can attract girls in their early 20's as well, the latter being the age I prefer).

On top of that, my confidence and my 'game' has improved heaps in the last year. My mind, my atitude, my social skills, my pickup skills, they're all way higher than when I was 18 or when I was in my early 20's. Also, I started working out over 2 years ago and my body looks 10x better now than at any given moment in my life. My face is getting a bit older, though...but as long as I can attract 15 year olds, I have nothing to worry about, right? I picked up a 21 year old on NYE, I picked up a 23 year old a few weeks ago, there is no indication at all that my age is interfering with my game. Besides, lots of people estimate me at age 26-28, so I guess I still have 2-4 years vefore people will really look at me as a 30 year old, haha.

I am not a boy anymore, I am a man now. I also let go of the idea that I'm reaching an age where settling down should become a priority. Fvck that sh!t, I wouldn't mind if I remained single for the rest of my life. Nothing is holding me back, certainly not social conventions and general cultural ideas that "everyone" holds. I am my own man, I create my own reality and destiny, and I feel great. Settling down is not a goal for me, while in the past I thought this was the ultimate goal that my life was gonna culminate in.

I see guys around me, friends etc. who are making changes. They don't go out anymore, they have girlfriend's, they're beginning to struggle to keep their physical condition. When I talk to them, I notice that they're implicitly radiating an attitude of 'giving up'. It's like they realize that all the goals, dreams and aspirations they had in their younger years but never reached, are out of reach now. Some of them look quite attractive but they never really had girlfriends or picked up girls higher than HB7. Now they feel they're too old to do it after all, they don't 'fit in' anymore, so they give that aspiration up and decide to settle for less. They find themselves an HB 7 and kinda settle down with her, coz they believe this is the best they can do, given the circumstances.

I dunno, it's like the fire in their hearts is out, the 'eye of the tiger' is gone... They feel like they're past their primes and now have to make do with what they still got left. But my fire is just beginning to grow and expand towards it's highest peak. My 'eye of the tiger' is just reaching it's greatest ferocity and my prime is just beginning!!

I'll be 30 years old within 4 weeks. Make it 60 if you like, I couldn't give a rat's azz