3 Reasons why the average man is struggling today

[kavi]

IMO and cultural transition theory, there is a large gap between the generations, those of us in our 40s and above have had more interesting experiences throughout out lives, we grew up and were in our 20s when though things where going downhill, there was more cultural and social things happening and the dating market was more'active'. But that current market led to this market where men and women in their 40s and late 30s are either settled or have experience and knowledge from their younger years.

But for the men and women in their 20s now, the market is much different. These people have grown up in the post 2000s where things were getting grimmer and the excessess of the earlier times led to more of a depleted cultural environment. I come across lots of 20s men and women and generally find the females to be friendly and polite but the men lacking in personal confidence and experience. This generation hasnt experience a lot of dating or major experiences, they've mostly been doing their education and work and both men and women lack major dating and social experience.

Now for this younger generation for the middle classes the marriage anddating market is so dead many females probably dont care about marriage and settling down and many men are just trying to get experiences and get to know their place in the market, but there is no market. So the men are kinda lost. The females are available for participation in social environmements as both genders are working and hace have jobs and income but are mostly just getting by paying rent and going to work with just a minimal social life. With the women under less pressure to marry and have children, as they see that the market is dead formost of them, this leads to opportunities to develop social environments and businesses catering to these people.

 

[Clockwerk50]

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I agree, with that point. However, the majority of women are meeting these guys through OLD, work, bars, and etc. It doesn't have to be some rich Aladdin Prince, but all it takes is a decent looking guy looking for some low hanging fruit or maybe she is his type, and he will go lower in looks for this particular girl. You also have a lot of pro sports players on the apps going after women. He could be on the bench or practice squad, but to this girl she is getting fvcked and courted by a guy on the New England Patriots or New York Yankees. Why on earth would she settle for an average guy working a 9-5?

These guys are offering "fun" and "emotional roller coaster rides" which is something an average 9-5 guy cannot provide to the same extent as a guy not held up by a 9-5 job or any other responsibilities.

I don’t know. This whole idea that regular men are losing out to pro athletes or millionaires is mostly just a coping mechanism.

In reality, most men are competing within their own bracket and slightly above it. A contractor, customer service rep, or bank teller isn’t up against billionaires, he’s up against other regular guys, maybe a lawyer, surgeon, retired CFL player, club promoter, or business owner in a slightly higher SMV bracket. The ultra-rich operate in a completely different sub-niche, chasing, and being chased by, a small group of women who are also pursuing that lifestyle.

To prove the point, I’ve included pictures of some women from around my area, most of them single or not publicly in relationships, next to an insta-thot who does a lot of travelling in their Instagram. These regular women aren’t chasing sugar daddies, because in their world, those kinds of men don’t even exist. And yet, most men overlook them, either because they don’t look like pornstars, aren’t 23-year-old virgins, or don’t fit into some exaggerated online fantasy. Alternatively, other men who want to sleep with them just don’t have the social skills or confidence to connect with them in the first place.

The truth is, most men will never even be in the same orbit as the women chasing the ultra-elite. That world is real, but it’s not this one.

Regular women:





Insta-thots:

 

[SW15]

cultural transition theory

those of us in our 40s and above have had more interesting experiences throughout out lives, we grew up and were in our 20s when though things where going downhill, there was more cultural and social things happening and the dating market was more'active'.

I am in my early 40s (very close in age to @kavi).

My formative years were during the 1990s and early 2000s. I was in college from 2001-2005.

By the time I was in college, some of the transformative technologies were starting to take hold.

People were starting to communicate less on the phone and in-person. AOL Instant Messenger messaging was quite common during my time in college. Facebook and MySpace both launched in 2004 and I became aware of them around my senior year of college. The telephone itself was changing. In my senior year of high school (2000-2001), few of my fellow high school seniors had even basic cell phones. Even in freshman year (2001-2002), it was more common to not have a cell phone than to have one. During my sophomore (2002-2003) and junior years (2003-2004), it was common to get cell phones. These were pre-smartphone cell phones, so there was more mobile calling than text messaging. Mobile phones and phone calling away from home changed things in mating as compared to landlines.

Early Millennials like myself and @kavi had a childhood during economic boom years and a young adulthood in the 2000s when there were 2 recessions (early 2000s dot com bust and late 2000s major recession) bookending the decade. We also experienced 9/11 during an economic recession in the early part of the decade.

for the men and women in their 20s now, the market is much different. These people have grown up in the post 2000s where things were getting grimmer and the excessess of the earlier times led to more of a depleted cultural environment. I come across lots of 20s men and women and generally find the females to be friendly and polite but the men lacking in personal confidence and experience. This generation hasnt experience a lot of dating or major experiences, they've mostly been doing their education and work and both men and women lack major dating and social experience.

The men in their 20s now are Generation Z, not Millennials. Generation Z started with the late 1990s births, who are 10+ years younger than @kavi and I. Generation Z'ers had a different set of experiences than I had as an early Millennial.

 

[BaronOfHair]

"Average people"(regardless of gender, skin color, creed, or sexual orientation)end up settling for table scraps. That's the way it's always been and always will be

 

[Solomon]

I don’t know. This whole idea that regular men are losing out to pro athletes or millionaires is mostly just a coping mechanism.

In reality, most men are competing within their own bracket and slightly above it. A contractor, customer service rep, or bank teller isn’t up against billionaires, he’s up against other regular guys, maybe a lawyer, surgeon, retired CFL player, club promoter, or business owner in a slightly higher SMV bracket. The ultra-rich operate in a completely different sub-niche, chasing, and being chased by, a small group of women who are also pursuing that lifestyle.

To prove the point, I’ve included pictures of some women from around my area, most of them single or not publicly in relationships, next to an insta-thot who does a lot of travelling in their Instagram. These regular women aren’t chasing sugar daddies, because in their world, those kinds of men don’t even exist. And yet, most men overlook them, either because they don’t look like pornstars, aren’t 23-year-old virgins, or don’t fit into some exaggerated online fantasy. Alternatively, other men who want to sleep with them just don’t have the social skills or confidence to connect with them in the first place.

The truth is, most men will never even be in the same orbit as the women chasing the ultra-elite. That world is real, but it’s not this one.

Regular women:
View attachment 14189



View attachment 14192
Insta-thots:


View attachment 14193

As a guy whose hung out with Professional athletes who were bench players, you would be shocked, some of these guys would bang anything. There was a girl I use to be cool with who was banging a backup linebacker who played for the Vikings, he made 300K a year and she was a 5 on average although she has lost some weight so I guess you could bump her up to a 6 depending on how she is dressed for the day.Granted he didn't commit to her but she would babysit his dog and she was in his rotation not all athletes are banging top tier coochie only.

 

[New_Journey]

View attachment 14189

In my experience the one on the right has this weird combination of cute face (without make up) with not that cute body that it's interesting to get to know them more, and they are typically very fun.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I don’t know. This whole idea that regular men are losing out to pro athletes or millionaires is mostly just a coping mechanism.

In reality, most men are competing within their own bracket and slightly above it. A contractor, customer service rep, or bank teller isn’t up against billionaires, he’s up against other regular guys, maybe a lawyer, surgeon, retired CFL player, club promoter, or business owner in a slightly higher SMV bracket. The ultra-rich operate in a completely different sub-niche, chasing, and being chased by, a small group of women who are also pursuing that lifestyle.

To prove the point, I’ve included pictures of some women from around my area, most of them single or not publicly in relationships, next to an insta-thot who does a lot of travelling in their Instagram. These regular women aren’t chasing sugar daddies, because in their world, those kinds of men don’t even exist. And yet, most men overlook them, either because they don’t look like pornstars, aren’t 23-year-old virgins, or don’t fit into some exaggerated online fantasy. Alternatively, other men who want to sleep with them just don’t have the social skills or confidence to connect with them in the first place.

The truth is, most men will never even be in the same orbit as the women chasing the ultra-elite. That world is real, but it’s not this one.

Just because you do not see it in person does not mean it is not happening. I know a girl that lives with her parents and her hobbies consist of just gym and getting groceries. She does not go to clubs or bars, and she lives in the surburbs. You would think this girl is just shy and innocent with just a stroke of bad luck...Right? WRONG, she is exclusively only going after anomaly men she finds on OLD and being used up until the guy is done with her or she realizes she is one of many. She has gone up to a year without sex or a date because she could not catch a professional athlete on OLD and she was heartbroken by some rich Christain Bale bad boy with Mercedes Coup she found on Bumble. Her alpha widow "ex" was on the Dallas Cowboys and would fly her out to Europe frequently to wine/dine & use her as a personal sex toy. BTW, this girl is MID, boring, and lives with her parents.

You have to understand that single women act like cats and hide all of their sexual activities/adventures from the day light. The proof is in the pudding because why are these girls remaining single for so long? How are these girls affording all these trips, luxury cars, luxury items, and etc? Why are these girls standards so high for men when they have little to offer? Some women will waste their whole fertility years on trying to lock down one of these men.

 

[New_Journey]

I know a girl

Hey guys hey listen, I know a girl!!! This reason is enough, I myself know a girl!!!

How are these girls

Wait, I thought you only knew one girl.

 

[SW15]

I know a girl that lives with her parents and her hobbies consist of just gym and getting groceries. She does not go to clubs or bars, and she lives in the surburbs. You would think this girl is just shy and innocent with just a stroke of bad luck...Right? WRONG

One would think that would be a shy and quiet female with a lower notch count and not a lot going on in life.

She has gone long periods without sex but it's a consequence of not catching a top tier man. She could be having sex all the time with mid-tier men and possibly even get a mid-tier man to commit to her.

she is exclusively only going after anomaly men she finds on OLD and being used up until the guy is done with her or she realizes she is one of many. She has gone up to a year without sex or a date because she could not catch a professional athlete on OLD and she was heartbroken by some rich Christain Bale bad boy with Mercedes Coup she found on Bumble. Her alpha widow "ex" was on the Dallas Cowboys and would fly her out to Europe frequently to wine/dine & use her as a personal sex toy. BTW, this girl is MID, boring, and lives with her parents.

She is seeking top tier men on swipe apps and possibly through DMs on social media.

She's a mid woman on looks with a subpar personality and she's still managing to get sex from the top 10-20% of men via her app usage.

Living with her parents makes it worse.

If a male is living with his parents in the suburbs, he's an incel/borderline incel in a lot of cases. If a woman lives with her parents, it has much less impact on her sex life.

You have to understand that single women act like cats and hide all of their sexual activities/adventures from the day light. The proof is in the pudding because why are these girls remaining single for so long? How are these girls affording all these trips, luxury cars, luxury items, and etc? Why are these girls standards so high for men when they have little to offer? Some women will waste their whole fertility years on trying to lock down one of these men.

It's possible for a woman to hide her sexual activity and past history of sexual partners.

There are women who waste many fertile years trying to lock down a top tier guy. Most will be a shorter term sex partner from a top tier guy who has no interest in committing to her.

 

[Clockwerk50]

In my experience the one on the right has this weird combination of cute face (without make up) with not that cute body that it's interesting to get to know them more, and they are typically very fun.

I actually know the one on the right. She’s got that thick, borderline chunky build, kind of a “refrigerator” shape. She "talks" with other guys and gossips about them, though I’m not sure in what context and what to extent those conversations are. We're just acquaintances for now, but if she wants some Clockwerk50, she knows where to find me. I don't discriminate.

Don't know the Asian girl, but she could get it too. Both of them are "average" I would say.

 

[SW15]

Insta-thots:


View attachment 14193

Impressed with her. Her body is very good, especially her abs.

The face doesn't stand out that much (not bad facial aesthetics). It might be because her body is superior to her face.

 

[Clockwerk50]

As a guy whose hung out with Professional athletes who were bench players, you would be shocked, some of these guys would bang anything. There was a girl I use to be cool with who was banging a backup linebacker who played for the Vikings, he made 300K a year and she was a 5 on average although she has lost some weight so I guess you could bump her up to a 6 depending on how she is dressed for the day.Granted he didn't commit to her but she would babysit his dog and she was in his rotation not all athletes are banging top tier coochie only.

That actually supports my point, most guys would be better off focusing on mid-tier women instead of chasing unrealistic expectations. There’s a lot more dating potential when you focus on women within or slightly below your bracket. In my 20s, I had girls reaching out to me, but I brushed them off because I didn’t think they were hot enough or didn’t have enough clout. Looking back, I kind of regret not giving some of them a chance due to unrealistic standards.

As for your boy, making $300K as a backup linebacker isn’t ultra-rich, I’d place that just one bracket above where I’m at and I like my chances in that matchup. That income doesn’t guarantee yachts or constant trips to Dubai which is what OP is inferring. Maybe a Bahamas vacation here and there, and a nice house with a good down payment, but it's not long-term financial dominance, especially once the football checks stop coming in. I'd place him in the same bracket as a lawyer and a surgeon. It is still a lot of disposable income though.

 

[SW15]

I actually know the one on the right. She’s got that thick, borderline chunky build, kind of a “refrigerator” shape. She "talks" with other guys and gossips about them, though I’m not sure in what context and what to extent those conversations are. We're just acquaintances for now


View attachment 14195 View attachment 14196

She has good facial aesthetics. In the picture on the left, her breasts look a little droopy. In the picture on the right, she has too much midsection fat/that dress is too tight. Her legs look good there but it doesn't offset the other things.

Average tier.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Just because you do not see it in person does not mean it is not happening. I know a girl that lives with her parents and her hobbies consist of just gym and getting groceries. She does not go to clubs or bars, and she lives in the surburbs. You would think this girl is just shy and innocent with just a stroke of bad luck...Right? WRONG, she is exclusively only going after anomaly men she finds on OLD and being used up until the guy is done with her or she realizes she is one of many. She has gone up to a year without sex or a date because she could not catch a professional athlete on OLD and she was heartbroken by some rich Christain Bale bad boy with Mercedes Coup she found on Bumble. Her alpha widow "ex" was on the Dallas Cowboys and would fly her out to Europe frequently to wine/dine & use her as a personal sex toy. BTW, this girl is MID, boring, and lives with her parents.

You have to understand that single women act like cats and hide all of their sexual activities/adventures from the day light. The proof is in the pudding because why are these girls remaining single for so long? How are these girls affording all these trips, luxury cars, luxury items, and etc? Why are these girls standards so high for men when they have little to offer? Some women will waste their whole fertility years on trying to lock down one of these men.

I guess I’ll take your word for it, since I haven’t seen it on that level, but I still have my doubts. The closest I’ve seen was my neighbour who came back from a trip to Thailand and broke up with her boyfriend. After that, she started working as a law clerk and began waking up two hours earlier just to get extra ready, clearly trying to position herself to land a lawyer. The guy she ended up marrying was a lawyer with a solid job and came from a family with rental properties, but it wasn’t some ultra-luxury lifestyle.

There’s also this girl who used to be a bottle service girl. Now she’s always flying out to random places but never shows who she’s with. I suspect it’s your classic “wealthy but ugly guy” situation.

Aside from that—and outside of the club/influencer scene, I haven’t personally seen women chasing the luxury lifestyle that hard. Women have other needs that need to be fulfilled and that are more important in my experience.

And honestly, once you’ve been around the dating game long enough, you can usually tell who’s interested, who’s not, who’s probably already in a sexual relationship with someone else, and who just got dumped and it is looking for a rebound. It’s not that hard to read.

So I don’t really see the ultra-rich guys as my competition. Maybe I’m just blissfully unaware but it works for me.

 

[MatureDJ]

This leads to a dating pool where women hold out for the top five percent of men, while the rest are just SOL.

It's OVER for SOLCels.

 

[MatureDJ]

I wonder if Blondie knows that her video is being used in this way.

I've observed Millennial men who grew up with beta Boomer fathers who managed to keep a marriage intact fail in the mating environment of 2000-present.

These beta Boomer fathers who were present in their sons' lives during their 1990s/early 2000s formative years didn't prepare them well for dealing with snowflake Millennial females.

It was worse for Millennial males who watches their beta Boomer fathers receive divorce papers.

There is an amazing cluelessness with the older generations about why their sons/grandsons can't get a woman - "just get a good job, and the gals will come to you"

I think some of this is true. I think even many blue pill ideology men are aware that being a "nice guy" is a ticket to incel/borderline incel status. I also think you are underestimating how many average social IQ men are generally ignored by women.

I think men are reacting to the sudden social de-sexualization by just becoming like "bachelor lions" - i.e., go run down a gazelle once a week (get a stupid part-time job), and spend the rest of the time sleeping or licking his balls.

 

[SW15]

I wonder if Blondie knows that her video is being used in this way.

That reaction video came out in November 2023. She likely recorded it in Sept-Oct 2023. I think she knows that about this video and how she got roasted in the comments on it.

There is an amazing cluelessness with the older generations about why their sons/grandsons can't get a woman - "just get a good job, and the gals will come to you"

When the Boomer men were young adults, the idea that you put in quotes still worked. I think the idea was more relevant for the earlier Boomers (1946-1956 births) than the later Boomers (1957-1964 births).

The idea of a middle class or upper middle class job helping a man to get women is only relevant when women aren't planning to be employed for most of their lives. When women aren't planning a life with employment from their late teens/early 20s though their 50s/60s, they would become more economically dependent upon a man.

In the 20th Century, the women of the GI Generation (1910s-early 1920s births) and the Silent Generation (late 1920s-1945 births) were more financially dependent on men as they prioritized marriage and motherhood. It was around the 1960s-1970s, when late Silent Generation women and early Boomer women started to work and become less dependent upon males. In fiction, "Mad Men" character Peggy Olson (born 1939) was a great fictional representation of this as an earlier era working woman who was a white collar trailblazer of her era. A Peggy Olson was somewhat out of the norm in the 1960s but women graduating college in the 1980s (late Boomers and early Gen X'ers) would have adopted the spirit of her fictional character that was rooted in some degree of reality.

The women born from the late 1930s - mid 1950s who began to work (late Silents and early Boomers) were raised to respect men and did have somewhat of a concept of gender roles. The women of the late 1930s to mid 1950s who began to work were on the leading edge of a movement that really took off with later Boomers and Generation X. Women born in the 1960s-1970s were not raised to have the same level of respect for men and had less of a concept of gender roles. I was born in the 1980s and have mainly interacted with 1980s born women. 1980s born women were not raised with any respect for men.

In the clip from "That 70s Show" below, there's a fictional representation of an interaction from 1977 of high schoolers who I think are part of the Class of 1978, meaning they would have been born in 1959-1960 (later Boomers). In this clip, a boyfriend-girlfriend duo of characters (Eric and Donna) are arguing about what parenthood would look like in the future for them if they were to stay together. Eric envisions having a stay-at-home mom for a wife and Donna envisions herself as a working mom. At one point in this, Donna's mom tells Donna that she and Eric are not likely to ever become parents together as they will likely break up before this is a relevant consideration.

That TV show was a fictional representation of life in a smaller town in Middle America (Wisconsin) in the late 1970s.

The main lesson to get from that clip is that the times were changing for the later Boomers. Later Boomers and then earlier Generation X women were not planning to be economically dependent on their husbands.

As a result, more women started to get bachelor's degrees and then women got their own jobs (usually white collar, office jobs). Once women did this, the idea of selecting a man for mating purposes became outdated.

I think @MatureDJ is an early Generation X'er (Gen X started with the 1965 births). He has mentioned being in high school during the 1980s. @MatureDJ would have been in the age group of the earlier men who would not have found this advice relevant as young adults. Early Generation X males born from 1965-1971 would not have been able to attract women solely on their jobs as young adults during the late 1980s - mid 1990s.

More average GI, Silent Gen, and earlier Boomers could have used their middle class or upper middle class jobs to help seduce women. Now, that advice doesn't work.

When I was in high school in the late 1990s-early 2000s, most of my female classmates were planning a life where they'd be working for ~40 years of their lives. Most were planning to either get a good trade certification or go get a bachelor's degrees. I think more of my high school classmate females were planning the bachelor's degree route. These were early Millennials.

Very few jobs today can help Millennial and Gen Z men seduce women. They would have to be jobs with salaries in the Top 2% (98th-99th percentile).

Jobs in the 55th-80th percentile (middle and upper middle class jobs) aren't going to help a man seduce. A lot of college educated women already have jobs in that percentile.

I think men are reacting to the sudden social de-sexualization by just becoming like "bachelor lions" - i.e., go run down a gazelle once a week (get a stupid part-time job), and spend the rest of the time sleeping or licking his balls.

Getting a part time job, playing video games, sleeping, and watching porn/masturbating is not a path that leads men to getting poontang. The theoretical male behavior you describe would result in a male being a likely incel.

A man with only a part time job likely lives with a parent/parents. Men start getting penalized in the sexual marketplace around their mid-20s for living with parents and having economic dependency on parents. @BPH has experienced this to some degree in his life, but he's been able to get some short term sex because he's 6'0" and fit. More average tier men are not going to experience this as a 22-34 year old man living with a parents or parents, having a part time job, and being economically dependent on aging parents.