"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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3 Months

foomee

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Our 3 month anniversery is coming up on the 10th, and I would like to do a surprise picnic for her as the weather has finally gotten nice up here in norcal. I'm planning on leaving a few notes for her to find, like a scavenger hunt. Any suggestions or ideas? And should I give her a gift? I gave her only a card last time. I'm thinking of not giving her anythign this time though.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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abcd_z

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3...months together?

Seriously, this has "flame-bait" written all over it.
If you're even thinking about a 3-month anniversary, you're in over your head. You're placing the value on her, which lowers your own relative value.

A 1-year anniversary, I could understand. Anything less than that seems like you're clutching at straws. Not very cool.

EDIT: wait, you gave her a gift "last time"? An in, you've done this before now? Like, at the one or two month mark?

Ye gods, that's sad.
 

Pimp-sicle

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abcd_z said:
3...months together?

Seriously, this has "flame-bait" written all over it.
If you're even thinking about a 3-month anniversary, you're in over your head. You're placing the value on her, which lowers your own relative value.

A 1-year anniversary, I could understand. Anything less than that seems like you're clutching at straws. Not very cool.

EDIT: wait, you gave her a gift "last time"? An in, you've done this before now? Like, at the one or two month mark?

Ye gods, that's sad.

Yeah dood you read my mind on that one!! LOL




PIMP
 

foomee

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Well you know what.. I've been in many past relationships and I've never treated a girl this good. I honestly think she is the one for me. This is very anti-dj of me, and I admit it, but I have fallen in love with her. We're in college together and we spend hours and hours a day with eachother, and alternate sleeping in eachother's dorms. I've thought about it long and hard and I think we're perfect for each other, as does she. I completely go against everything I am doing, but I know it's the right thing for me. I honestly want to marry this girl. This girl is awesome, she buys me so much stuff, she treats me so good, she buys me dinner almost everyday and pays for so much of my stuff, we can just be together and have so much fun, and we even have sex everyday, sometimes twice a day and even three or four times a day sometimes. She's probably an hb8, with simply perfect t&a. I really think she's the one for me.

Is it still going overboard even though I'm probaby going to marry this girl? I know I'm not whipped, and I'm not hooked on her, but I just know it's that thing everyone wants called love..

Should I still go on with this picnic? What if I just did a picnic and not a little scavenger hunt?
 

Obsidian

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picnics good, gifts bad

(On the other hand, if she's constantly buying you stuff, I guess you could maybe justify buying her something)

The scavenger hunt *could* work, but it sounds kinda silly to me.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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abcd_z

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foomee said:
Is it still going overboard even though I'm probaby going to marry this girl?
Yes. Yes, it is.

This is why we have the rules in the first place. Don't show too much interest. Be the prize, let her chase you. And absolutely DO NOT put her on a pedestal.

The rules are there for a reason. Break them at your own peril.

...and yes, you are hooked on her. 3 months isn't nearly enough time to make that sort of judgement rationally. This is one-itis masquerading as love.
 

Qmanchoo

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Yep, and all the flames would come from people immature enough to flame to begin with and who’s advice I wouldn’t cross the street to spit on.

No rule applies to every aspect of life, and every rule you have only has a certain situation that it applies to where the outcome would actually be favorable... and many situations where it would work to your disadvantage.

For example, 3 second rule... guy makes eye contact but the girl is in the middle of a conversation... he walks up and interrupts and the girl thinks he's rude and blows him off. Happens.

Call in three days rule... what if you had an amazing interaction with a girl that genuinely liked you and waiting three days made her think you were not really that interested and you were playing games? Happens.

When you're taught to drive at driving school they say to use both hands on the wheel, after you're 100% comfortable and don't have to think about driving you can drive with your knee while smoking a cig and taking a swig of your coffee and it works just a well. That rule doesn’t apply anymore.

The reality is that if you are working within a set of rules and not ADPTING to each situation differently your still in the world of game and don’t have enough life/dating experience yet… definitely not living in the real world.

Everyone who has actually been in a relationship with someone of at least OK quality (OK person, not a habitual liar or serious social issues..etc) knows that you have to be a nicer more compromising person as a relationship grows (on both sides) or else you’ll be butting heads and fighting all the time and eventually break up. Been there. All this “game” is good for catching a girl but once you have her the rules change a bit. The transition time from “dating to real relationship” happens typically in 3 to 6 months.

And don’t mistake that to mean all the time, it means sometimes you give in a sometimes you don’t to keep the other person happy without giving away too much control.

Don’t listen to people who are so arrogant that they think they size up and solve your problem with a few DJ principles…and can only filter their world with women through sosuave tactics…. as long as you’re not supplicating and you remain a strong male figure in her life (do not fear her disapproval) with his own opinions, standpoint, and don’t take **** you’re fine doing what you’re doing.
 

flexion_

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Yes the picnic is a great idea.

If she truly is the one then you are doing the exact opposite thing (buying gifts) you need to do keep her interest.
 

WORKEROUTER

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Why don't you analyze why you feel she's really right for you. Just seriously analyze your own thoughts for a minute and ask yourself why.
 
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