Ever feel like you're never going to find a girl who is just normal? You're not alone. Here is an account of my day at work at the catalog division of Talbots in which I met 3 different girls:
Girl 1: Melinda
I arrived at work right on time and my supervisor said that check-in for the 7:00 shift would be about 15 minutes late and that I should just hang out in the break room until 7:15. I was fine with that because that means 15 less minutes of work for me. So I took a seat at a table next to this fairly attractive, brown-haired, dark complexioned chick that looked to be about my age. She was watching a news clip about a busted meth lab in North Knox County, so I joked, "Damn, that's my supplier. Looks like I'm gonna have to start shelling out the big bucks for coke." She laughed, and conversation ensued.
We talked for about 10 minutes about school, majors, common interests, and crap like that that you usually have to talk to a chick about before you score. At about 7:10, she asked, "Tara [our supervisor] did say 7:15 for check-in, right?" I nodded my head. "Good," she said, "because I need to go pump some breast milk."
Who's hungry?
Girl 2: Christina
I was assigned to a workstation on the second floor, which usually sucks because there are more supervisors stationed there which equates to greater difficulty f_cking around and avoiding work, but I didn't complain too much because for the first time since I've been at Talbots they put me next to a cute girl.
I hadn't been sitting down two minutes when she rolled her chair over to my cubicle: "You busy?" I shook my head no and introduced myself. We started into a conversation that was constantly interrupted by work-related calls. Don't these customers realize that I go to work to pick up girls, not to field their annoying calls? I could tell Christina was into me though because every time she finished a call and I was still on the phone, she would roll her chair into my cubicle and sit there and wait for me to finish.
Finally the call volume dropped and we were able to talk for a while without interruption. I can't remember what our conversation was initially about, just that whatever it was, it somehow segued into a discussion about how boring our job is.
I told her, "When I first took this job I was planning on writing a book chronicling the interesting stuff that happened to me at work, but that plan's fallen by the wayside because nothing interesting has happened."
Her reply: "Yeah, I've been here since last November and nothing exciting has happened to me either. Well, except for in March when I went into labor in the middle of a customer service call."
Don't women realize that kids--just like spouses, psychological disorders, and felony convictions--are something that should be mentioned at the beginning of a conversation so guys don't have to waste 45 minutes of valuable macking time?
Girl 3: Andrea
After small-talking with Christina for another hour--I didn't have the heart to blow her off after her revelation--her shift finally ended and they cleared her station to free it up for someone from the 10PM-2AM shift. Fortune appeared to shift back in my direction: she was replaced by a tall, toned brunette who smiled at me and held a lengthy eye contact as she got situated. Her first comment to me was even more indicative of her interest: "You look like you work out. What gym to do you train at?"
As it turned out, this girl--Andrea--had just gotten her personal training certification and was working at Talbots for extra money until she built up a client base sufficient to support herself. From the way she talked, this girl ate, slept and breathed exercise and fitness. She claimed to calculate her bodyfat percentage daily and keep a journal of her daily caloric intake as well as her estimated caloric expenditure,
making sure to keep them roughly equal. We compared biceps and abs and I was as impressed with hers as she was with mine.
Looks like I've got a winner on my hands, huh? Are you kidding? Have you been paying attention to the way things have gone for me tonight?
My shift ended at 11, and after I cleaned up my cubicle and logged off the system, I leaned into Andrea's cubicle and told her my shift was over and I was leaving. I was about to close for the phone number when she said, "Hey, I can take my first break at 11, I'll walk outside with you."
Cha-ching. "Sounds good," I nodded confidently.
Then the bomb dropped: "I really need to smoke. It's been over an hour since I've had a cigarette and I'm about to die."
What the f_ck?? This personal trainer who is OCD about her health and fitness and spent a half-hour discussing the science of her workout and diet routine can't go an hour without smoking?! I was too dumbfounded to even come up with a pithy response, so I just walked outside with her and listened to her prattle on some more about exercise as she took deep drags off her Marlboro light and blew thick clouds of smoke into the air.
So much for trying for a BJ: I like my sausage non-smoked.
Girl 1: Melinda
I arrived at work right on time and my supervisor said that check-in for the 7:00 shift would be about 15 minutes late and that I should just hang out in the break room until 7:15. I was fine with that because that means 15 less minutes of work for me. So I took a seat at a table next to this fairly attractive, brown-haired, dark complexioned chick that looked to be about my age. She was watching a news clip about a busted meth lab in North Knox County, so I joked, "Damn, that's my supplier. Looks like I'm gonna have to start shelling out the big bucks for coke." She laughed, and conversation ensued.
We talked for about 10 minutes about school, majors, common interests, and crap like that that you usually have to talk to a chick about before you score. At about 7:10, she asked, "Tara [our supervisor] did say 7:15 for check-in, right?" I nodded my head. "Good," she said, "because I need to go pump some breast milk."
Who's hungry?
Girl 2: Christina
I was assigned to a workstation on the second floor, which usually sucks because there are more supervisors stationed there which equates to greater difficulty f_cking around and avoiding work, but I didn't complain too much because for the first time since I've been at Talbots they put me next to a cute girl.
I hadn't been sitting down two minutes when she rolled her chair over to my cubicle: "You busy?" I shook my head no and introduced myself. We started into a conversation that was constantly interrupted by work-related calls. Don't these customers realize that I go to work to pick up girls, not to field their annoying calls? I could tell Christina was into me though because every time she finished a call and I was still on the phone, she would roll her chair into my cubicle and sit there and wait for me to finish.
Finally the call volume dropped and we were able to talk for a while without interruption. I can't remember what our conversation was initially about, just that whatever it was, it somehow segued into a discussion about how boring our job is.
I told her, "When I first took this job I was planning on writing a book chronicling the interesting stuff that happened to me at work, but that plan's fallen by the wayside because nothing interesting has happened."
Her reply: "Yeah, I've been here since last November and nothing exciting has happened to me either. Well, except for in March when I went into labor in the middle of a customer service call."
Don't women realize that kids--just like spouses, psychological disorders, and felony convictions--are something that should be mentioned at the beginning of a conversation so guys don't have to waste 45 minutes of valuable macking time?
Girl 3: Andrea
After small-talking with Christina for another hour--I didn't have the heart to blow her off after her revelation--her shift finally ended and they cleared her station to free it up for someone from the 10PM-2AM shift. Fortune appeared to shift back in my direction: she was replaced by a tall, toned brunette who smiled at me and held a lengthy eye contact as she got situated. Her first comment to me was even more indicative of her interest: "You look like you work out. What gym to do you train at?"
As it turned out, this girl--Andrea--had just gotten her personal training certification and was working at Talbots for extra money until she built up a client base sufficient to support herself. From the way she talked, this girl ate, slept and breathed exercise and fitness. She claimed to calculate her bodyfat percentage daily and keep a journal of her daily caloric intake as well as her estimated caloric expenditure,
making sure to keep them roughly equal. We compared biceps and abs and I was as impressed with hers as she was with mine.
Looks like I've got a winner on my hands, huh? Are you kidding? Have you been paying attention to the way things have gone for me tonight?
My shift ended at 11, and after I cleaned up my cubicle and logged off the system, I leaned into Andrea's cubicle and told her my shift was over and I was leaving. I was about to close for the phone number when she said, "Hey, I can take my first break at 11, I'll walk outside with you."
Cha-ching. "Sounds good," I nodded confidently.
Then the bomb dropped: "I really need to smoke. It's been over an hour since I've had a cigarette and I'm about to die."
What the f_ck?? This personal trainer who is OCD about her health and fitness and spent a half-hour discussing the science of her workout and diet routine can't go an hour without smoking?! I was too dumbfounded to even come up with a pithy response, so I just walked outside with her and listened to her prattle on some more about exercise as she took deep drags off her Marlboro light and blew thick clouds of smoke into the air.
So much for trying for a BJ: I like my sausage non-smoked.
