"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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2nd Date

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Abcd

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I'm in the unusual situation (for me) of preparing for a second date with a really cute, smart girl (who is in my major) after the first date actually went excellently. I realized that I shouldn't plan out my dates as much as I have in the past, after having success with this totally off-the-cuff first date method: At two in the afternoon on Friday I called her and asked her to come over and cook dinner with me. We cooked dinner for my whole house (six college students, guys and girls), chatted with everybody over dinner for about 2.5 hours, went for a walk, i made a move and we made out for the first time in the park, came back, danced for a while with my friends to country music, made out some more, and then I took her home. Zero cost and very fun - basically a perfect first date by my standards. She seemed super happy too, and basically expressed the obvious upon parting with a "so I guess we might do this again sometime?"

So she's going to be gone until Monday night, which is labor day. I'm wondering if I should call her to hang out that night, or wait. Of course I'm not going to call her the next day or the day after that, but I think I need to keep up the momentum and call her at least by Tuesday, if not Monday.

And secondly, what should I do with her... I have a semi-public living situation (public livingroom anyway) but I guess I could still do a movie-on-the-couch second date. After being so informal on the first one though, I feel like I might want to class it up a bit somehow. But I'm obviously not cheap or anything, so I don't have to worry too much about needing to spend money on her.

I guess this is the point where everybody chimes in with the "keep doing what you're doing, don't get oneitis, stay cool, don't get all lovey-dovey" reminders - I'll keep those in mind. But this is definitely LTR material, probably the coolest girl I've ever (successfully) dated.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Hoogie

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Right now, I'm at the same point as you bro.
Had the coffee date and it went ok.
I've been searching over some of the threads and I'm bringing it down to the movie on the couch date or maybe getting sum ice-cream and going for a walk.
I want it to be something where Kino can be easily initiated, but not something thats too much of a big deal so as it still keep her guessing and fighting for more.

Here's a few other threads with heaps of ideas too.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthr...e&pagenumber=1

http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall168.htm

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/17.htm
 
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Abcd

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Hoogie said:
Right now, I'm at the same point as you bro.
Had the coffee date and it went ok.
I've been searching over some of the threads and I'm bringing it down to the movie on the couch date or maybe getting sum ice-cream and going for a walk.
I want it to be something where Kino can be easily initiated, but not something thats too much of a big deal so as it still keep her guessing and fighting for more.

Here's a few other threads with heaps of ideas too.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthr...e&pagenumber=1

http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall168.htm

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/17.htm
Click to expand...
Thanks - good luck!

I think my issue here is that we're already so touchy-feely, that wherever we go kino isn't going to be an issue... basically it's going to devolve into making out if we're alone anywhere for a second (we were already just walking around town making out at any chance). So I don't want this to be a simple "come over so I can f- you" movie date - i'd like it to be cooler than that. Ideas in that regard?
 
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Hoogie

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Yeah... thats what i need too.... and i was thinking that it might come across that way..... definately need sum ideas
 
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Abcd

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Bleh. still don't have a good idea really - part of the problem is I'm so busy during the week, but I should probably see her at some point, or I'm going to lose momentum - maybe I should just invite her for a lunch date for tomorrow? Then again I'll see her Wednesday in class, and we talked about perhaps going dancing that night. So maybe I should just call her tonight and confirm that, and see her Wednesday?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Hoogie

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seriously man this thread is basically just between u and me :woo:


But yeah.. i had the exact same realisation today... that if i didnt ask her I'd lose momentum, so I did, kinda. She was pretty busy so I sent her a message saying "stop being busy i wanna ask u out again :p"
I think i was losing momentum because she thought i wasnt interested (kinda a good thing tho i think)
This chicks kinda a tomboy so I think I'm gonna ask her round for beer, pizza and movies (i know, classy, but i think its right judging the situation).... doesnt sound too sleezy.... sounds friendly.... but not too friendly... cause obviously its movies at my place still ;)
 
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