2nd Date Update

[The Duke]

They have this call in radio show called 2nd date update. Basically a couple goes on a first date, and for whatever reason doesn't lead to a 2nd date. So they get both parties on the air and explain what went wrong.

Today a chic called in to ask why she Never heard from the guy after the first date. They get the guy on the line and he explains he was turned off by the fact that when it came time for the bill during their date, she insisted on going dutch and paid for her own food/drinks.

The guy explained that he felt this was a sign of a progressive/independent woman and he didn't want those types. Of course He was roasted for his thoughts and put down. He wanted a more feminine woman and the whole female/male dynamic is beyond most people's comprehension, not likely they would understand. The guy is probably a member of this site!

Props to him for sticking to his guns. I wanted to call in and congratulate him. The only reason a woman will insist on paying for her part of a date is if she is too independent or not that interested and doesnt want to feel obligated.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I believe in Australia the women do not allow you to buy them drinks

 

[B80]

They have this call in radio show called 2nd date update. Basically a couple goes on a first date, and for whatever reason doesn't lead to a 2nd date. So they get both parties on the air and explain what went wrong.

Today a chic called in to ask why she Never heard from the guy after the first date. They get the guy on the line and he explains he was turned off by the fact that when it came time for the bill during their date, she insisted on going dutch and paid for her own food/drinks.

The guy explained that he felt this was a sign of a progressive/independent woman and he didn't want those types. Of course He was roasted for his thoughts and put down. He wanted a more feminine woman and the whole female/male dynamic is beyond most people's comprehension, not likely they would understand. The guy is probably a member of this site!

Props to him for sticking to his guns. I wanted to call in and congratulate him. The only reason a woman will insist on paying for her part of a date is if she is too independent or not that interested and doesnt want to feel obligated.

haha, fair play to the guy. not sure I'd go that far though if that was the only concern after the 1st date. must have been other stuff that when adding together sum of all parts, decided she wasn't attractive.

can imagine the comments though 'not a real man, can;t handle strong modern independant women, insecure/intimidated etc'.

I look forward to hearing about next weeks episode where a woman refuses a 2nd date after a man asks to split the bill, rather than pay it all himself. Same people will probably be high fiving her.

 

[manfrombelow]

They have this call in radio show called 2nd date update. Basically a couple goes on a first date, and for whatever reason doesn't lead to a 2nd date. So they get both parties on the air and explain what went wrong.

Today a chic called in to ask why she Never heard from the guy after the first date. They get the guy on the line and he explains he was turned off by the fact that when it came time for the bill during their date, she insisted on going dutch and paid for her own food/drinks.

The guy explained that he felt this was a sign of a progressive/independent woman and he didn't want those types. Of course He was roasted for his thoughts and put down. He wanted a more feminine woman and the whole female/male dynamic is beyond most people's comprehension, not likely they would understand. The guy is probably a member of this site!

Props to him for sticking to his guns. I wanted to call in and congratulate him. The only reason a woman will insist on paying for her part of a date is if she is too independent or not that interested and doesnt want to feel obligated.

Reading this, I also believe the said guy is probably a member on this site too.

On the 1st date, when I am the one who offered the date, I am the one to pay. And this should be a no brainer that's by default understood by both parties. So, if for whatever reason that at the end of the meal, the woman insists to pay or go dutch, it means ONLY ONE THING: She's too fvcking masculine to even accept my gesture aka pay for her meal, and that I failed to seduce her properly so make her relax with her feminine side. So of course there won't be a second date.

This is the type of woman that is very likely to try to become the man of the relationship, to lead everything HER way. So, like the guy in the story, I'd too never want to see her again. I don't want to waste my precious time for women who refused (whether subconsciously or not) to be feminine.

 

[derby1]

patrice O neal did a great clip on dealing with women like this, and he specifically mentioned australian women all those years ago @CAPSLOCK BANDIT

 

[SW15]

A lot of 2nd date update is staged. Think about it-who answers phone calls from unknown numbers anymore?

 

[bat soup]

They have this call in radio show called 2nd date update. Basically a couple goes on a first date, and for whatever reason doesn't lead to a 2nd date. So they get both parties on the air and explain what went wrong.

Today a chic called in to ask why she Never heard from the guy after the first date. They get the guy on the line and he explains he was turned off by the fact that when it came time for the bill during their date, she insisted on going dutch and paid for her own food/drinks.

The guy explained that he felt this was a sign of a progressive/independent woman and he didn't want those types. Of course He was roasted for his thoughts and put down. He wanted a more feminine woman and the whole female/male dynamic is beyond most people's comprehension, not likely they would understand. The guy is probably a member of this site!

Props to him for sticking to his guns. I wanted to call in and congratulate him. The only reason a woman will insist on paying for her part of a date is if she is too independent or not that interested and doesnt want to feel obligated.

That's interesting. I'm not I agree with the guy's rationale, though. In Spain, women generally pay their own way and I appreciate that. Since women have jobs and can earn a living for themselves, they don't need to sponge off men.

What I find offputting is women that expect men to pay for everything and do all the hard work, but that still want to flap their gums about feminism and equal rights.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If this is legit and not staged, I'm not in agreement with that guy's line of thinking. I see guys on here complaining all the time about women who don't offer to contribute to the bill on a date (or get the next round of drinks etc). Those same guys often complain about women who they feel are progressive. So which is it?

I do understand that there is a chance that it means she is an independent career driven woman who will not be submissive and who will make things difficult, but I think it's WAY too early to completely dismiss her based on her wanting to split the check on a first date. IMHO he probably just wasn't that attracted to her and decided to use this as an excuse.

I personally love it when a girl offers to pay. It tells me she isn't selfish and entitled, and that she is making an effort to please/impress/respect me and show some initiative. I see it as an indicator that she sees me as high value and is making an effort to be on good behavior.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

They have this call in radio show called 2nd date update. Basically a couple goes on a first date, and for whatever reason doesn't lead to a 2nd date. So they get both parties on the air and explain what went wrong.

Today a chic called in to ask why she Never heard from the guy after the first date. They get the guy on the line and he explains he was turned off by the fact that when it came time for the bill during their date, she insisted on going dutch and paid for her own food/drinks.

The guy explained that he felt this was a sign of a progressive/independent woman and he didn't want those types. Of course He was roasted for his thoughts and put down. He wanted a more feminine woman and the whole female/male dynamic is beyond most people's comprehension, not likely they would understand. The guy is probably a member of this site!

Props to him for sticking to his guns. I wanted to call in and congratulate him. The only reason a woman will insist on paying for her part of a date is if she is too independent or not that interested and doesnt want to feel obligated.

Great story. How do you think it's generally recieved and percieved by the masses when a man has this level of awareness to know this situation will be a problem?

IE: We don't want masculine women. We don't want to fight about who is the "man" in the relationship. We appreciate and value feminity. Etc, etc, etc.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

I see it both ways just like @oldmanofthesea. Often what I will do is offer to help with the check on a first date & then look to the man to accept, decline or suggest something. And then once he decides I accept his decision.

Ive had men usually want to pick up the cheque. Typically that’s the deal. Once in a while a guy will split with me, although this is rare.

Once in a while the man will say, why don’t you get drinks at the next place...which is two things, a compliance test, and the invitation to another venue, which indicates things are going well.

As a general rule I appreciate being looked after as a feminine woman. I treat my man well and am generous. Real men enjoy looking after their lady.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

And then once he decides I accept his decision.

Great point there BE. I always pay for things unless a woman extends the invitation to ME. I can afford to do it and I'm old enough to be old-fashioned in this way. However, what I would see as a red flag is not her offering to contribute (as the guy on the radio show complained about), but if I responded by saying, "oh I appreciate that, but this is on me," and she won't accept it and demands to pay for her portion. Would I skip out on a second date with her over this if everything else went well? No. But I'd be aware of it and would ensure I keep an eye on related behaviors associated with that during my screening.

Even when a girl offers, I don't care about the money and don't need the money; I care about what the offer stands for.

 

[SargeMaximus]

So you guys actually WANT a woman who is a gold digger? Fvck I’d rather they pay for everything and I’ve had that before too. Much better

 

[Barrister]

Staged or not I agree with the male caller. I am old school when it comes to a first date and I believe the man should be the one paying. And to be honest, if I offered to pay and the woman insisted on splitting it after I said I would pick it up, it would be difficult for me to not to take that as a sign of disinterest.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Once in a while a guy will split with me, although this is rare.

How does it make you feel when this happens?

 

[BeExcellent]

How does it make you feel when this happens?

To be frank it doesn’t impress me. But I also have to be careful. I have means of my own and there are men who are mooches just as there are women who are gold diggers. So it makes me feel a little wary. The last thing I want is a 30K millionaire who truly cannot afford the lifestyle I live. And I have dated men who I out earn... so it’s something I deal with once in a while.

It’s not about the money. It’s about the gesture. A gentleman looks after his lady. A lady looks after her man. But the traditional roles are somewhat established socially...and I prefer a man who appreciates this dynamic and embraces it.

But I cannot know how a man was raised or what he has been through on a first date. So I always offer and am perfectly genuine in my offer. You learn who people are by observing what they do. It’s a tiny snapshot of a piece of who someone is. As they say in medicine, correlate clinically. In other words, look at this piece in the context of the rest of the picture.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Often what I will do is offer to help with the check on a first date...

How does it make you feel when this happens?

To be frank it doesn’t impress me. ... So it makes me feel a little wary...

So you're sh!t testing these guys by doing this then?

 

[Robert28]

So you guys actually WANT a woman who is a gold digger? Fvck I’d rather they pay for everything and I’ve had that before too. Much better

Yeah but when they pay you’ll be eating McDonald’s lol

 

[SargeMaximus]

Yeah but when they pay you’ll be eating McDonald’s lol

Nah I’ve had women buy me drinks in the first date before

 

[The Diver]

I love it when a girl offers to pay. It tells me she isn't selfish and entitled and that she is making an effort to please/impress/respect me and show some initiative. I see it as an indicator that she sees me as high value and is making an effort to be on good behavior.

Spot on ^^^
Refusing to allow a girl to pay for a date manifests itself from insecurity.
It's pretty much covertly says that you do not believe in your masculinity alone to attract her and need the help of your wallet to impress her.
But, If you are secure in your masculinity, the fact that she's paying for the date won't cause even a tiny dent in your self-confidence and your masculinity.

When a girl offers to pay for the date, it's telling me she is investing in me and happy to spoil me.
And most importantly, as a masculine man, I feel I am entitled to be pampered by my woman.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Spot on ^^^
Refusing to allow a girl to pay for a date manifests itself from insecurity.
It's pretty much covertly says that you do not believe in your masculinity alone to attract her and need the help of your wallet to impress her.
But, If you are secure in your masculinity, the fact that she's paying for the date won't cause even a tiny dent in your self-confidence and your masculinity.

When a girl offers to pay for the date, it's telling me she is investing in me and happy to spoil me.
And most importantly, as a masculine man, I feel I am entitled to be pampered by my woman.

100% same here.