27 y/o virgin with communication problems.

[JaegerPilot217]

I was a virgin until age 25, I lost it during the Summer of last year(July) but I've only done it once so I kinda still feel like a virgin, I turned 26 this year in January but I still haven't officially had my first girlfriend yet, but I believe I probably could have had one a long time ago if I lowered my standards looks wise

 

[FairShake]

If you're awkward just don't be a d!ckhead.

Be nicer and give value and more people will like you and want to spend time with you.

Eventually a girl will come along with that.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Hopefully you lose your v-card before 30 OP, and I'm hoping I smash at least one hottie before 30

 

[eldominante]

I hope so as well. My problem is that I can't chit-chat. I only talk if there is a reason. If not, I remain quiet. I try not being that nice, that others don't see me as a nice guy. Whenever I force myself to talk, I'm called that I've talked like a little child. At questioning, I'm told that it was obvious and I was asking a stupid question. Some relatives even tell me to be quiet so that nobody sees my true personality which is, by their definition, rubbish.

I don't suffer at approach anxiety. I can say Hi, but then it follows the chit-chat part which I can't handle. I can ask one or two questions and land in the interview-mode. Hotties reject me. Maybe cause I've seemed boring to them.

Btw: Hotties, bad girls wear untattered jeans.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I hope so as well. My problem is that I can't chit-chat. I only talk if there is a reason. If not, I remain quiet. I try not being that nice, that others don't see me as a nice guy. Whenever I force myself to talk, I'm called that I've talked like a little child. At questioning, I'm told that it was obvious and I was asking a stupid question. Some relatives even tell me to be quiet so that nobody sees my true personality which is, by their definition, rubbish.

I don't suffer at approach anxiety. I can say Hi, but then it follows the chit-chat part which I can't handle. I can ask one or two questions and land in the interview-mode. Hotties reject me. Maybe cause I've seemed boring to them.

Btw: Hotties, bad girls wear untattered jeans.

when you go into interview mode do you stick with the same topic? or not?

 

[charmest]

......

 

[eldominante]

What do you mean with "do you stick with the same topic? or not?"

I analyzed myself and came to the fact that I'm a human/organic robot. But I have to be a human being. So I have to transform myself into a true and real human and no more acting robotic. The questions is just "how" to do so?

 

[Bible_Belt]

There once lived a great salesman and sales trainer named Zig Ziglar. He died just last year, at a ripe old age. He supported his family as a young boy in the Great Depression as a door-to-door pots and pans salesman. I studied a lot of his material, books and audio recordings. I sold a $1500 vacuum cleaner door-to-door on a straight commission basis, and I did very well using his advice. I'll never forget an important piece of his teachings: do what you fear most, and you will control your fear.

I think it's in the Straus book The Game the story of the guy who put on a hockey mask with a big dildo duct-taped so that it stuck out from his forehead and then went and did 100 approaches. After he took off the goalie mask with the dildo sticking out of the forehead, approaching women seemed a lot easier. Whatever you fear, throw yourself headfirst at that fear, and that is the way to get over it.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

the way I see, men need to know how to talk women in order to attract them, get them, women don't need to know how to talk to men in order to attract them, and no it's not because women don't have to initiate anything, most of the time us guys are already instantly attracted to a woman from the moment we first see her, it's hard to not be bitter

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Hopefully your situation is not hopeless

 

[eldominante]

JaegerPilot217: You see yourself in me? You have similiar problems as I have?

I just don't know what to talk about. I know someone who talks with me very well, but never invites me anywhere. However, on Facebook he posted some birthday photos on which he seems to be an alpha guy that makes girls laugh, geti in great mood and gets kisses by them on cheeks.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

JaegerPilot217: You see yourself in me? You have similiar problems as I have?

I just don't know what to talk about. I know someone who talks with me very well, but never invites me anywhere. However, on Facebook he posted some birthday photos on which he seems to be an alpha guy that makes girls laugh, geti in great mood and gets kisses by them on cheeks.

Yes I told you I have Asperger syndrome

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Women are much less prone to being late bloomers than men are, lucky them

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Because of this its very hard to not be bitter towards women

 

[Bible_Belt]

the way I see, men need to know how to talk women in order to attract them

Absolutely. And the only way to get better at anything is to go and do it. Even if you fail, you will still get a little bit better each time.

It's easy to get paralysis by analysis by being overly analytical. And expecting life to be fair will also get you nowhere. Maybe women do have it easy, but that idea isn't getting you anywhere.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Absolutely. And the only way to get better at anything is to go and do it. Even if you fail, you will still get a little bit better each time.

It's easy to get paralysis by analysis by being overly analytical. And expecting life to be fair will also get you nowhere. Maybe women do have it easy, but that idea isn't getting you anywhere.

Ya just siding with the OP

 

[JaegerPilot217]

OP, do you have your **** together yet or not?

 

[eldominante]

What do you mean with that? I have still huge hopes to make it better. Currently, I approach sometimes some girls. Newly, a spanish girl was a bit talkative with me and we are going to see us at hostel meetings/parties.

But I need regular success with women.

 

[hithard]

You need a mentor or experianced wingman with you on approaches as they will be able to gauge it better. I wouldn't discount visiting a psychiatrist if it is not getting any better. I know a lot of guys who used pills till they were comfortable around women. You need to get your house in order (body, fashion,mindset, skills) before you can expect much success.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Guys, you've got to keep moving forward. Keep improving, in all aspects of life. Life should be getting better with each day, month, year, you are alive.

If you are true to yourself. You will do fine with women.

I can relate to the OP in the sense that I'm actually a quiet man. I don't talk that much. I don't feel the need to impress others as well. You know what? Women love guys that listen. Most gals will talk your ear off if they feel like you are actually listening to them. Then all ya gotta do, is initiate physical contact, and there you go...

Bible belt is right. Get out there and start living. Challenge yourself. Grow as a person. Be the best you can be. Don't make any excuses for not trying. Just keep improving yourself and your life will continually get better and better.

Start today, believe in yourself and know you can do it.