"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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24yo sends 44yo Virgin a text about..???

H

HumbleNinja

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This 24 yo chick I've seen TWICE sent me a text last night telling me "not to judge her" based off her following text..

Chick was "wondering" what our kids would look like and wants to have a baby.

I told her. Look we've seen each other TWICE. Why are you asking about that? Now? WTF? Kids are no joke.

She responded with: I knew it was crazy. I was just wondering.

I blew it off and changed the subject. Good Lord..

Either the chick is having her period and her hormones have her acting whacky or she saw me as some provider etc.

Can't help it if I have a brand new 2013 car, dress in new fashionable clothes etc, smell good, and make good money.

Hell no. She keeps that up and I'm going to be out. Really hope she was just having some chick moment..F that noise.

Chick is always looking for me to bang her. I'm glad I blew her off last time or who knows..At this point I'm having second thoughts on banging her period..
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Epimanes

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Chicks horomones don't go crazy while they are on their period. Its always the week leading up to it. They are relieved of their crazyness when it hits them and return to normal.
 
H

HumbleNinja

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Epimanes said:
Chicks horomones don't go crazy while they are on their period. Its always the week leading up to it. They are relieved of their crazyness when it hits them and return to normal.
Click to expand...

Most likely it's that. She mentions that again I'm going to sit her down and tell her she needs to stop that nonsense NOW.

She'll get the hint. If not. I'll be going ghost.
 
U

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Drinking again, OP?

You should lay off the sauce once in a while.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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VladPatton

VladPatton

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What's the big deal, man?.. Bust a nut up in that honey pot and make some baby ninjas! lmao
 
H

HumbleNinja

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VladPatton said:
What's the big deal, man?.. Bust a nut up in that honey pot and make some baby ninjas! lmao
Click to expand...

Sheeeet...I'll not only be wearing condoms but pulling out every time I'm ready to bust after that text. F that. lol
 
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