22-year-old virgin here

[GTG PEE]

The furthest I've gotten with anyone is holding a drunk female friend's hand three years ago. The year before that, I was pretty hot for this one girl and we'd spend late nights out, but I never had the guts to do anything.

Now I'm a 22-year-old loser who's about to graduate college, and I'm not getting anywhere. Where do I even meet women??? I have no idea. I mean, I go to bars, but the idea of hooking up with some drunk chick doesn't appeal to me that much. Even if it did appeal to me, it always seems like they're blocked off by some guy.

Tips????

 

[Rhoto]

Now I'm a 22-year-old loser who's about to graduate college, and I'm not getting anywhere.

Change the way you think about yourself first.

 

[PhatE1vis]

Some guys are currently not built for picking up chicks in bars. If you don't have some kind of pull (looks, personality, money, outgoing), the bar/club scene can be kind of tough. Sounds like with your current attitude, it could be nearly impossible.

Of course, work on that with the resources here, but in the meantime...

What's your social circle like? Do you have a core group of friends, hobbies, sports, activities that you take part in? It's easier to meet girls in these situations if you have a common interest. Sounds like it could be the way for you to go now.

But yeah, calling yourself a loser stinks, man.

 

[GTG PEE]

Some guys are currently not built for picking up chicks in bars. If you don't have some kind of pull (looks, personality, money, outgoing), the bar/club scene can be kind of tough. Sounds like with your current attitude, it could be nearly impossible.

Of course, work on that with the resources here, but in the meantime...

What's your social circle like? Do you have a core group of friends, hobbies, sports, activities that you take part in? It's easier to meet girls in these situations if you have a common interest. Sounds like it could be the way for you to go now.

But yeah, calling yourself a loser stinks, man.

I've got a decent enough social circle. You might even say I've been around a large numbers girls in my lifetime. Whenever I started feeling serious about someone a couple years back, I'd sort of turn into a pushover/creepy nice guy. I know better than that now, but it seems like the opportunities aren't there anymore.

All my failures were in my own head. It seems like the girls I was hanging out with actually liked me a lot based on second party information. I always ended up freaking myself out, though.

 

[BeyondCharm]

The very first, and I mean very first step, before you learn anything else, is to learn the proper mindset and beliefs to achieve success. Achieving success in any area of your life is entirely based on your beliefs.

First, realize this: Every belief you have, no matter what, you learned at some point. Baby's are not born with beliefs, they are taught them as they are raised. This means you can if you have the willpower, change every single belief you have. Imagine how difficult it was for people to admit the world wasn't flat for example or that the universe didn't revolve around the earth. These were beliefs. Everything we assume to be true is.

Study positive affirmations, they actually work as lame as they sound sometimes. Doing positive affirmations in the morning and at night will increase your confidence and self-esteem. Good luck.

 

[DonGorgon]

Change the way you think about yourself first.

NAh that is his current reality.. he needs to change his reality before he can see himself differently..

 

[I'm Charming]

Now I'm a ... loser

2 Months ago I would have said the same.

What you need to realise is that YOUR personality rubs off on other people, if you are sad they are sad, if you are happy they are happy, if you think you are a loser they will think you are exactly that.

Keep your head held high, if you keep looking at the dirt that is where you will end up. Smile, be happy, if you can change one aspect of your personality then make sure you lose the defeatist attitude. After that you can target general areas of self improvement to work on.

 

[slaog]

NAh that is his current reality.. he needs to change his reality before he can see himself differently..

No it's the other way around! He needs to see himself differently first. It's no coincedence he thinks of himself as a loser and thats the cause of his reality now.

 

[theunflushables]

I agree with slaog. You can't change you reality without changing your perception. You have to start at the core and work your way out.

 

[GTG PEE]

The thing is once a girl knows I'm as inexperienced as I really am, she'll run far, far away. I've actually come close to being intimate, but I end up really anxious and shove the girl away. It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point...

Over the summer a girl was feeling all over my legs when we were seated. I felt too nervous to accept or reciprocate...

 

[Effington]

I used to think getting with a tipsy girl at a bar was taking advantage of them, too. The reality is, they know exactly what they're doing. Unless they're falling over drunk, it's game on.

 

[GTG PEE]

I used to think getting with a tipsy girl at a bar was taking advantage of them, too. The reality is, they know exactly what they're doing. Unless they're falling over drunk, it's game on.

I'm not afraid I'm taking advantage of anyone. I'm just inexperienced and nervous about that...

 

[theunflushables]

Then get tipsy yourself. I was blown out when I lots mine. I think I may have passed out sometime while she was riding me. I came to and she was still going.

 

[Mavrick]

You should have already figured out where to meet women while in college. What the hell did you do? Sit in you dorm room all the time? I joined a frat and had the best time of my life. If you don't know after 4 years of college, I don't know how to help you.

 

[BrokenPath]

Look, I know exactly how you feel.

6 years ago I felt the same, and it comes and goes sometimes.

No matter how much anyone tells you things are going to get better or this and that is going to change or attitude is going to do this and that.

IT'S STILL WORDS NOT ACTIONS... Right? That's how it feels.

I want you to listen close.

I first came on as a little sapling to check out these forums 6 years ago.
I had a defeatist attitude and thought that I was never going too get anywhere in life and never get laid. Being that i'm asian, going to school in predominantly white, black, and mexican places really always made me feel like an outcast ALWAYS.

My high school life was all over the place I always strived to go for the parties and never wanted to miss out on youth. Unfortunately bad decisions landed me in juvenille hall and other such variables of detention and kicked me out of school.

I felt hopeless, was in love with one chick and was obsessed with her for years.

There comes a point in time where you stop giving a ****. I don't know quite how to explain it... It's like the point of AFTER you're done being depressed where you just stopped GIVING A ****.

The point in time AFTER you feel at your lowest emotional point. AFTER you stop getting nervous.

Once you hit rock bottom, like I did after a speed addiction and having dropped out of high school and periodically sleeping in a gutter. You have only one place to go... UP. Once you get to a point of relative hopelessness you can either die or start improving.

Here's the thing guy.
You're far from rock bottom and you know it. In fact, i'm sure you have the potential to get a great job right now. The potential too make a good living.
That's more than a base to get out there and start meeting women.. This is how you do it.

I know who you are. You're the beta at the parties that is there, and is accepted by your friends and people say hi to you and what not but you're not respected. You're probably an on and off party animal when you're there, that or a wallflower.

You just need to GET the women. I got a good job, got a car, and started to just GET WOMEN.

Funny thing is, I got laid more when I had man titties and was out of shape then when I was int he best shape of my life.

A LOT more.

realize that anyone can do it. Here's the steps.

The attitude that you need to have RIGHT NOW is this.

and I MEAN IT. SERIOUSLY. STOP learning short lessons and bull****ting here and there. One day i stopped doing EVERYTHING i was doing and stopped reading EVERYTHING I was reading and just did these things... If you follow and listen closely you'll get laid this month.

You need to project yourself in an EXTREMELY sexual manner without saying or coming off as sexual in ANY way. You need to do it simply through body language, and facial expressions.

You need to let them know that YOU KNOW that they are attracted to you.
You need to not compliment and interview them.

After you are alone with the girl and you've connected a bit more.
You need to establish a little comfort. Relate with her a bit and tell her that you like her.

Then you look into her eyes and then you kiss her.

Then you take off your pants and stick your **** in her.

 

[ItsOnNow]

I know how you feel,but my situation is a little different. Have had very little college education,due to an educational setback,which bums me out alot. Not a virgin,but haven't had sex in a long time,and I got some real head issues to deal with.

 

[thedeparted]

Go do something dangerous. With a realistic possibility of death. Odds are you won't die, and after that, approaching women will look easy as pie. Not only that, but you can tell them about your death defying experience, and they will be impressed. This is the fastest, most effective solution to your problem.

 

[Rex Man]

Grow some fukkin balls and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're only 22, but if you don't stop being a whiny, pansy little ***** by the next couple of years, it ain't never gonna happen

 

[GTG PEE]

I think all you guys that are giving me the harsh truth are spot on. I know in my head that what you're saying is right. Believe it or not, I've had some really hot women in my life. Really, really hot ones that I've been infatuated with to the point of failure. It seems that whenever I've fallen for a girl, she's had similar feelings for me. I'm never going down that road again. If I have feelings, I'm sure as hell going to do something about it. Obviously I'm not as bad off as I think I am if the girls I'm into have similar feelings for me. The problem is I've had absolutely no idea how to express my feelings and just come off aloof, mean and nasty.

Thanks for not bull****ting me. I fortunately have a year left in college, so I'm going full speed for the next year. It's too bad I ended up vomiting all over my apartment last night instead of going home with anyone.

Grow some fukkin balls and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're only 22, but if you don't stop being a whiny, pansy little ***** by the next couple of years, it ain't never gonna happen

It's only going to get worse. I know this is reality. There's no getting around it. I just need to make that voice in the back of my head believe it. Once I understand this, there's no stopping me.

I wish I had a friend who was good at attracting girls. All my friends are kind of losers, though they're not as inexperienced as I am.