Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

21 years old, body count 32, never had sex with a girl I didn't meet online. (With statistics)

Fookcensorship

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Statistics that may be interesting:
30/32 I had sex with on the first day/night
Less than 29% I truly really enjoyed, others were show stoppers, starfish, not someone I'd be in public with etc.
Rough sex occurred in roughly 49% of cases
Tinder accounted for 45% of all hookups
Received head on over 72%, whilst going in the other hole occurred in 22%
Less than 25% made any financial contributions to the date, although in some cases my only contribution was a condom.
I spin on average 2-5 plates at a time, at the moment it is 3, although it could be 6 if I was interested.

Deleted all dating apps for tinder, seems to be a drain on my energy. Any thoughts or advice on why I'm not having success in person?
 

Dr.Suave

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Any thoughts or advice on why I'm not having success in person?
I wouldnt think too much about it. Last time I was single I just wasnt feeling like cold aproaching and just focused on Bumble. As long as you are getting laid dont worry too much.
 

Sebastian0001

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Statistics that may be interesting:
30/32 I had sex with on the first day/night
Less than 29% I truly really enjoyed, others were show stoppers, starfish, not someone I'd be in public with etc.
Rough sex occurred in roughly 49% of cases
Tinder accounted for 45% of all hookups
Received head on over 72%, whilst going in the other hole occurred in 22%
Less than 25% made any financial contributions to the date, although in some cases my only contribution was a condom.
I spin on average 2-5 plates at a time, at the moment it is 3, although it could be 6 if I was interested.

Deleted all dating apps for tinder, seems to be a drain on my energy. Any thoughts or advice on why I'm not having success in person?
how do u usually start the convo upon matching? Do u make it clear u expect sex?
 

RickTheToad

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You might be coming off as dispirit vibe in a way through your cold approaching. You really have to have an IDGAF attitude if she talks to you or not.
 

devilkingx2

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Deleted all dating apps for tinder, seems to be a drain on my energy. Any thoughts or advice on why I'm not having success in person?
Normally I'd say your pictures look much better than you do in person or your text game is better than your real life game. But since you get laid after they meet you that's clearly not it.

Maybe you just don't put an equal amount of effort into real life approaching. If every first text is equal to an approach you've probably approached 100+ girls online but not irl.
 

Fookcensorship

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how do u usually start the convo upon matching? Do u make it clear u expect sex?
Pretty much in all cases, I have mentioned stuff like handcuffs and other kinky stuff on my bio in a couldn't care less manner

Went out with a chick yesterday and clearly did not expect sex since I was going home from a vacation after , she told me today that we shouldn't see each other again since she'd be abroad for vacation and didn't want to make me wait (and we all know what that means)
 

SoSuave666

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Are you incredibly attractive with a vapid personality? Are you scared to approach? How attractive are the women you get online vs the ones you approach in person?
 

Fookcensorship

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I would say I'm a 6/10 for my very niche demographic, involving being foreign and kinky, explained subtly via bio, pictures and hopefully not word of mouth, I have probably never approached a girl in the past 3 years because I assume I appeal to a niche demographic and it wouldn't be worth my time or reputation. If we derive perceived attractiveness from the enjoyment of sex I could say roughly 22% were 7/10 or more, and 14/32 no straight non-desperate man would do again
 

Barrister

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Cold approach takes confidence and charisma. Meeting women online can be done by being very formulaic (with good pictures) in how you DM women -- lessening the necessity for confidence and charisma. Granted, if you are still closing on your dates the way you are reporting this would seem to indicate you at least have some mild game. And if that is the case, I am surprised you aren't more successful in cold approach.

What sticks out to me is that you state you just "assume you appeal to a niche demographic." This is a defeatist mindset even if you think it has a rational basis. You are limiting your own success by doing this. Instead, approach all attractive women you see but don't put any expectation on the interaction. Have fun with it. I am guessing you will pleasantly be surprised by the success you can have.
 

Bokanovsky

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I would say I'm a 6/10 for my very niche demographic, involving being foreign and kinky
Which country are you presently located in and where are you from? The answer may very well explain your results.
 

Bigpapa

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Which country are you presently located in and where are you from? The answer may very well explain your results.
it is more interesting the quality of the girls themselves than anything else :)

but as an idea , you really need to put a lot of effort not to get laid , as some of the guys here
 

Fookcensorship

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Cold approach takes confidence and charisma. Meeting women online can be done by being very formulaic (with good pictures) in how you DM women -- lessening the necessity for confidence and charisma. Granted, if you are still closing on your dates the way you are reporting this would seem to indicate you at least have some mild game. And if that is the case, I am surprised you aren't more successful in cold approach.

What sticks out to me is that you state you just "assume you appeal to a niche demographic." This is a defeatist mindset even if you think it has a rational basis. You are limiting your own success by doing this. Instead, approach all attractive women you see but don't put any expectation on the interaction. Have fun with it. I am guessing you will pleasantly be surprised by the success you can have.
Well said! I would say I am uncomfortable reaching out to women in my day to day life, due to that same presumtion, However, the only other reasonable approach would be for me to go clubbing, but however I am uncomfortable dancing as it feels like more of a means to an end. Would you have any advice on the bar/pub/club scene?
 

Fookcensorship

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Which country are you presently located in and where are you from? The answer may very well explain your results.
Great question! My country of origin is irrelevant, as most put me in a frame of east asian anyways, and I'm currently pursuing an education in England. The niche demographic that I refer to are mostly women who are into asian culture, but mostly kpop (one girl brought chopsticks to mine to eat pot noodles) and the old money polyamorous type (rarer) that associated with practically anyone. There have also been cases of unattractive women, such as obsese women or those with too many extreme piercings and body hair that I have been with in the past. In some circumstances, women that I would have expected to be alright with polyamory have not been alright with it, and have ended it 1-5 months later.

Sidenote: as an aggregate, most women I have been with probably had a east asian to non east asian body count as above average.

Thank you for replying!
 

Fookcensorship

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Its difficult to be broadly attractive to the typical woman you would meet meet out and about. They have pretty formulaic standards. If online works then I would stick with that. Being broadly attractive requires you to improve mostly superficial and generic traits like looks, money, status, charm/game.
After the math is done, I get laid on average by a new girl every month due to an online dating app. Most RP dudes preach about deleting such forms of media. Would you suggest that I do so, or stick with what works? I have spent up to 8 hours a day wasting time with women who want a pen pal or will never reply
 

SoSuave666

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You seem very data driven and yet you are only focusing on the data from one source. I challenge you to approach. For every swipe you would make, do an approach instead. See if the results vary.

online dating apps should be a supplement to your dating life, not the entire shebang.
 

bat soup

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Statistics that may be interesting:
30/32 I had sex with on the first day/night
Less than 29% I truly really enjoyed, others were show stoppers, starfish, not someone I'd be in public with etc.
Rough sex occurred in roughly 49% of cases
Tinder accounted for 45% of all hookups
Received head on over 72%, whilst going in the other hole occurred in 22%
Less than 25% made any financial contributions to the date, although in some cases my only contribution was a condom.
I spin on average 2-5 plates at a time, at the moment it is 3, although it could be 6 if I was interested.

Deleted all dating apps for tinder, seems to be a drain on my energy. Any thoughts or advice on why I'm not having success in person?
Try going out more, travelling and meeting people. But if you do, remember to take your clipboard.
 

Fookcensorship

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You seem very data driven and yet you are only focusing on the data from one source. I challenge you to approach. For every swipe you would make, do an approach instead. See if the results vary.

online dating apps should be a supplement to your dating life, not the entire shebang.
Good advice, I'll take it to heart. I live in a student town, however, so often girls that I meet are in the same friend groups, or I see them on the street walking around with guys they are clearly on dates with
 

Fookcensorship

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Here’s my take.

“The niche demographic” he’s referring to are the girls who still message him even though he makes references to “handcuffs” on his profile.

The quality is going to be low.

I know plenty of guys who allude to bd$m-type stuff with toys etc. they never get quality. Women are usually kinky, but they hate guys who advertise it widely.

Im not saying only low quality girls like handcuffs. But high quality girls are not going to message a 21 year old guy who writes about handcuffs on his profile. That’s what he’s looking for - a girl he’s attracted to.

Side note - this dude is Asian (which is a known disadvantage), 21 years old, and has a pretty good notch count. There are guys on this forum who think that sleeping with thousands of women is impossible. Guys like @DonJuanjr and @Pandora need to take a lesson from the OP.
Great take! However, I can say that unless a mention "fun stuff" off the bat, I usually get no replies. Just download a dating app as a woman and see how guys from halfway around the globe shoot their shot with absolutely nothing of inherent interest at all. Or get hinge and see how girls just like a photo (although they could comment on one of your prompts instead). In this sense I am hedging my bet on girls that are inherently spontaneous and kinky, in my experience if I don't lay it on the first night, I am not seeing them again, as they associate me with a beta provider, although there has been one exception.

On the question of quality, I can say that around 12/32 would be keepers if I was interested, who saw my kinky prompt and thought what the hell let's go with it. Interestingly, 1/4 of the girls I've seen were virgins, so interpret it how you will.

What's the alternative? Taking a girl for a coffee date? In that sense you're framed into the beta sense of their mindset, banging them 1-2 hours of seeing them in person sets the tone for the whole night IMO, fastest first match to bang was 4 hrs, I can say that with all the **** mentioned sex was guaranteed. In most cases drinks? or coffee? leads to nothing and I know it but I go with it anyways because I have nothing better to do.

Thoughts?
 
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