Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
Due to the overwhelming requests....i will reveal to you how to be me. Yes..how to be 'the danny'. Some sarcasm was used in the writing of this thread.
The 21 step process
This first steps are the most important, because in the world today..appearance is everything.
1. Go out and buy
white midsocks with the grey heel/toe $6 for a pack
white and blue G-unit shoes $45
a pair of XL Jordan gym shorts $35-$40
various shirts that are SLIGHTLY too small. (prices vary)
2. Put on what was bought in the first step. The midsocks can be substituted with random colored soccer socks, or white baseball socks with fake stirrups.
3. When dressed, make sure NOTHING matches or EVERYTHING matches. i stress the nothing look. i work with that the majority of time. id say the nothing to everything ratio is about 20 to 1.
4. The cal lick. (popularly pronouced "cow lick") and yes its supposed to have a space in the spelling. Legend has it that i was actually licked by a baby calve when i was younger and it has stuck up ever since. My mother has spread this rumor frequently. Most people dont have one, but gel and hairspray will be sufficient.
5. Shave! No facial hair at all. There was a short period where i had a beard, but i left it in Virginia Tech
6. Lift and get in shape. Im not sayin im in the best shape ever, but if youre gonna be me, dont disgrace me. I want you lookin good.
7. Flexfit Black Pirates hat with the yellow P. i've had this hat forever. its the only hat i own. im not really a hat guy, but when i wear one...this is IT. This is last on looks cuz its not a big deal. You can do without if you want.
Ok..you got the looks down, now on to the rest!!
8. Various stupid skills. This is the bread and butter...This is what im ALL about Learn to ride a unicylce, do magic, juggle, moonwalk, tear phonebooks in half, do a back tuck...the list goes on and on and on...just learn to do stupid ****.
9. Answering the phone....dont just say hi unless its in a weird voice...say stuff such as:
"oh hey hi there"
"ooooh helloooo" in the ms. doubtfire voice
or answer..clear your throat so they hear you..wait 2 sec..then greet.
and my personal favorite. say your buddy jesse calls. answer by saying "hey is jesse there" even though he called you.
The phone isnt a big deal at all, but what im trying to stress is...dont be normal or predictable. be weird.
10. Thumbs up...shoulders shrugged..elbows out....real gay smiley face. I invented this and perfected it. 50% of all pics taken of you must be in this pose. the finger point is also good, along with pics of you with 4 or more girls around you.
11. Get an Italian GF who lives in fairhope and has divorced parents. Then have them leave you for a loser. In my case, i had 2. And trust me..if you try to be me, this will happen. This step is to get you in the right mindset. and remember..Italians are a must. If theres no mustache..its a no go
12. Be generally nice. Even if people dont like me im usually nice to them.
13. My favorite number. make it yours.
14. Make ridiculous claims and outrageous % guesses that you cant backup
e.g.
"My dad invented the sky"
"I'd say theres a 9% chance the Celtics go the finals"
15. Be loved by kids. Im a fan favorite with the little ones. I do magic for my lil sisters friends. Kids that lurk around my area in the summer call me "awful waffle". kid charisma is mandatory.
16. Booze. drink and put on a ****show. talk jibberish, play beerpong, tell jokes, cop feels off fat chicks and every once in a while, get everyones attention and tell an absurd story. Sometimes youre the life of the party, sometimes you engage in one on one convos with everyone. Either way, make sure everyone knows youre there.
17. When you argue, remember, youre always right. Theres nothing like a good argument. If youre wrong, dont admit it till later. Gettin people pissed is fun.
18. Lappy, Celly, PSP. youre laptop has to be in your general area 90% of the time. cell phone has really annoying wizard ring. My psp is broke as of now. but it will be back in my life in 2 months. Thats the danny-t ipod.
19. Watch tons of movies. at least one a day. 2 if possible
20. Talk in voices such as arnold, homestarrunner, Hank Hill,...etc. and when you arent doin that. just talk. about anything and everything. outloud so everyone can hear you. I'm loud, obnoxious, and immature. but my mommy loves me, so thats all that matters
21. Every morning, after you get outta bed. Go into the bathroom. Look into the mirror. and really look for a couple seconds. . . . . . then say to yourself "I'm a Great Guy!"
There are more than 21 steps to being me, but im not gonna give away all my secrets. so get started, and have fun.
The 21 step process
This first steps are the most important, because in the world today..appearance is everything.
1. Go out and buy
white midsocks with the grey heel/toe $6 for a pack
white and blue G-unit shoes $45
a pair of XL Jordan gym shorts $35-$40
various shirts that are SLIGHTLY too small. (prices vary)
2. Put on what was bought in the first step. The midsocks can be substituted with random colored soccer socks, or white baseball socks with fake stirrups.
3. When dressed, make sure NOTHING matches or EVERYTHING matches. i stress the nothing look. i work with that the majority of time. id say the nothing to everything ratio is about 20 to 1.
4. The cal lick. (popularly pronouced "cow lick") and yes its supposed to have a space in the spelling. Legend has it that i was actually licked by a baby calve when i was younger and it has stuck up ever since. My mother has spread this rumor frequently. Most people dont have one, but gel and hairspray will be sufficient.
5. Shave! No facial hair at all. There was a short period where i had a beard, but i left it in Virginia Tech
6. Lift and get in shape. Im not sayin im in the best shape ever, but if youre gonna be me, dont disgrace me. I want you lookin good.
7. Flexfit Black Pirates hat with the yellow P. i've had this hat forever. its the only hat i own. im not really a hat guy, but when i wear one...this is IT. This is last on looks cuz its not a big deal. You can do without if you want.
Ok..you got the looks down, now on to the rest!!
8. Various stupid skills. This is the bread and butter...This is what im ALL about Learn to ride a unicylce, do magic, juggle, moonwalk, tear phonebooks in half, do a back tuck...the list goes on and on and on...just learn to do stupid ****.
9. Answering the phone....dont just say hi unless its in a weird voice...say stuff such as:
"oh hey hi there"
"ooooh helloooo" in the ms. doubtfire voice
or answer..clear your throat so they hear you..wait 2 sec..then greet.
and my personal favorite. say your buddy jesse calls. answer by saying "hey is jesse there" even though he called you.
The phone isnt a big deal at all, but what im trying to stress is...dont be normal or predictable. be weird.
10. Thumbs up...shoulders shrugged..elbows out....real gay smiley face. I invented this and perfected it. 50% of all pics taken of you must be in this pose. the finger point is also good, along with pics of you with 4 or more girls around you.
11. Get an Italian GF who lives in fairhope and has divorced parents. Then have them leave you for a loser. In my case, i had 2. And trust me..if you try to be me, this will happen. This step is to get you in the right mindset. and remember..Italians are a must. If theres no mustache..its a no go
12. Be generally nice. Even if people dont like me im usually nice to them.
13. My favorite number. make it yours.
14. Make ridiculous claims and outrageous % guesses that you cant backup
e.g.
"My dad invented the sky"
"I'd say theres a 9% chance the Celtics go the finals"
15. Be loved by kids. Im a fan favorite with the little ones. I do magic for my lil sisters friends. Kids that lurk around my area in the summer call me "awful waffle". kid charisma is mandatory.
16. Booze. drink and put on a ****show. talk jibberish, play beerpong, tell jokes, cop feels off fat chicks and every once in a while, get everyones attention and tell an absurd story. Sometimes youre the life of the party, sometimes you engage in one on one convos with everyone. Either way, make sure everyone knows youre there.
17. When you argue, remember, youre always right. Theres nothing like a good argument. If youre wrong, dont admit it till later. Gettin people pissed is fun.
18. Lappy, Celly, PSP. youre laptop has to be in your general area 90% of the time. cell phone has really annoying wizard ring. My psp is broke as of now. but it will be back in my life in 2 months. Thats the danny-t ipod.
19. Watch tons of movies. at least one a day. 2 if possible
20. Talk in voices such as arnold, homestarrunner, Hank Hill,...etc. and when you arent doin that. just talk. about anything and everything. outloud so everyone can hear you. I'm loud, obnoxious, and immature. but my mommy loves me, so thats all that matters
21. Every morning, after you get outta bed. Go into the bathroom. Look into the mirror. and really look for a couple seconds. . . . . . then say to yourself "I'm a Great Guy!"
There are more than 21 steps to being me, but im not gonna give away all my secrets. so get started, and have fun.
