20s rant, serious lack of options here?

[muscleman]

About 3 months ago my gf of 1.5 years and I split up. I'm very glad we did and since then I've had a lot of time to think about relationships and realize they're not for me at this point. So I've been enjoying the single life. Me and one of my friends make it a mission, if you will, to sarge bars on Friday nights and occasionally Saturday nights. We've been doing this consistently for about 6 weeks now and I've definitely overcome a great deal of social anxiety (and got a few makeouts and a ONS). If nothing else I do it now for the practice of talking to strangers. I no longer have much of a problem walking up to a girl and talking to her, or groups for that matter.

What I have noticed however is what seems to be a lack of options and "upscale social matching" on the girls behalf.

The first part is simple. Finding hot, single, non-mommy chicks is hard. I know "bars aren't the best place to pick up girls" but most people visit bars on some occasion, from all walks of life and I see at least a couple hot ones every time I go ... right next to their boyfriends. I understand that girls monkey branch a lot, but it's definitely a game killer when you're trying to pick up a girl who's there with another dude.

Sometimes I'll chat up a pretty good looking, single chick (or at least giving the impression she's single by not wearing her ring or talking about things back home), only to find out she has kids. SO many girls around here in their 20s have kids.

The other thing I noticed is "upscale social matching" that girls do. Now, I'm a firm believer in social matching theory and this kinda pisses me off. The girls who go apesh!t over me are a couple notches below and this happens pretty consistently, as far as physical attractiveness goes. I'm not posting pics, but let's just say I'm definitely above average looking and I'm a fitness fanatic, a non-competing bodybuilder if you will. Muscles make things easier. This annoys me because it seems like girls trying to date "up". I mean, I try to date up as well, but for me "up" and "single" are a once-a-year type deal. The last girl I dated was very good looking ... it's just extremely difficult to find more like that.

I know part of this is related to location (I'm in the Midwest) and I'm hoping to get enlightened. I'm taking a short trip to L.A. with a friend next month to explore as much of it as possible. I heard the girls are much hotter and more aggressive.

Basically what I'm trying to get at is that a) single good looking girls in their 20s without kids are few and far between and b) it seems like I get hit on a lot by girls I have little interest in sexually.

How do we fix this?

 

[chrisgoodrich25]

About 3 months ago my gf of 1.5 years and I split up. I'm very glad we did and since then I've had a lot of time to think about relationships and realize they're not for me at this point. So I've been enjoying the single life. Me and one of my friends make it a mission, if you will, to sarge bars on Friday nights and occasionally Saturday nights. We've been doing this consistently for about 6 weeks now and I've definitely overcome a great deal of social anxiety (and got a few makeouts and a ONS). If nothing else I do it now for the practice of talking to strangers. I no longer have much of a problem walking up to a girl and talking to her, or groups for that matter.

What I have noticed however is what seems to be a lack of options and "upscale social matching" on the girls behalf.

The first part is simple. Finding hot, single, non-mommy chicks is hard. I know "bars aren't the best place to pick up girls" but most people visit bars on some occasion, from all walks of life and I see at least a couple hot ones every time I go ... right next to their boyfriends. I understand that girls monkey branch a lot, but it's definitely a game killer when you're trying to pick up a girl who's there with another dude.

Sometimes I'll chat up a pretty good looking, single chick (or at least giving the impression she's single by not wearing her ring or talking about things back home), only to find out she has kids. SO many girls around here in their 20s have kids.

The other thing I noticed is "upscale social matching" that girls do. Now, I'm a firm believer in social matching theory and this kinda pisses me off. The girls who go apesh!t over me are a couple notches below and this happens pretty consistently, as far as physical attractiveness goes. I'm not posting pics, but let's just say I'm definitely above average looking and I'm a fitness fanatic, a non-competing bodybuilder if you will. Muscles make things easier. This annoys me because it seems like girls trying to date "up". I mean, I try to date up as well, but for me "up" and "single" are a once-a-year type deal. The last girl I dated was very good looking ... it's just extremely difficult to find more like that.

I know part of this is related to location (I'm in the Midwest) and I'm hoping to get enlightened. I'm taking a short trip to L.A. with a friend next month to explore as much of it as possible. I heard the girls are much hotter and more aggressive.

Basically what I'm trying to get at is that a) single good looking girls in their 20s without kids are few and far between and b) it seems like I get hit on a lot by girls I have little interest in sexually.

How do we fix this?

BINGO...awe man hes always winning..I get four rows of numbers and this guy screams out BINGO..I dont even know why I pay my hard earned money to gamble here when this guys always walking away with the prize..speaking of prizing what was this prize worth Bob? Well Chris I think he won a sub-par encounter(at leasst in his own terms)..He seems a little shy with the texas Holde-em..perhaps his gambling methods are more of a lucky streak if you will..no real skill here to this Bingo game chris..basically numbers our called and if you can get 5 numbers in a row you win..Ok Bob that doesn't sound like much fun to me..I know chris I'm more of a fan of Blackjack..of coarse its always in the houses favor..Bob what if...and this is only speculation..this guy could change his "casino" if you will..perhaps trying the "abortion clinic" down the streets..those girls probably don't have kids right???

 

[Solomon]

About 3 months ago my gf of 1.5 years and I split up. I'm very glad we did and since then I've had a lot of time to think about relationships and realize they're not for me at this point. So I've been enjoying the single life. Me and one of my friends make it a mission, if you will, to sarge bars on Friday nights and occasionally Saturday nights. We've been doing this consistently for about 6 weeks now and I've definitely overcome a great deal of social anxiety (and got a few makeouts and a ONS). If nothing else I do it now for the practice of talking to strangers. I no longer have much of a problem walking up to a girl and talking to her, or groups for that matter.

What I have noticed however is what seems to be a lack of options and "upscale social matching" on the girls behalf.

The first part is simple. Finding hot, single, non-mommy chicks is hard. I know "bars aren't the best place to pick up girls" but most people visit bars on some occasion, from all walks of life and I see at least a couple hot ones every time I go ... right next to their boyfriends. I understand that girls monkey branch a lot, but it's definitely a game killer when you're trying to pick up a girl who's there with another dude.

Sometimes I'll chat up a pretty good looking, single chick (or at least giving the impression she's single by not wearing her ring or talking about things back home), only to find out she has kids. SO many girls around here in their 20s have kids.

The other thing I noticed is "upscale social matching" that girls do. Now, I'm a firm believer in social matching theory and this kinda pisses me off. The girls who go apesh!t over me are a couple notches below and this happens pretty consistently, as far as physical attractiveness goes. I'm not posting pics, but let's just say I'm definitely above average looking and I'm a fitness fanatic, a non-competing bodybuilder if you will. Muscles make things easier. This annoys me because it seems like girls trying to date "up". I mean, I try to date up as well, but for me "up" and "single" are a once-a-year type deal. The last girl I dated was very good looking ... it's just extremely difficult to find more like that.

I know part of this is related to location (I'm in the Midwest) and I'm hoping to get enlightened. I'm taking a short trip to L.A. with a friend next month to explore as much of it as possible. I heard the girls are much hotter and more aggressive.

Basically what I'm trying to get at is that a) single good looking girls in their 20s without kids are few and far between and b) it seems like I get hit on a lot by girls I have little interest in sexually.

How do we fix this?

Muscle I don't know where you live in the midwest but I live in the midwest myself

First of you say you don't want a relationship, which is fine, personally I don't think their is nothing wrong with messing with a single-mommy. As long as she knows what the business is, however dealing with single mothers can be more of a hassle then it's worth, but most of them are freaks, cause their so busy with their kids, they have some pent up sexual frustration you know?

One thing about clubs/bars, you gotta know what type of environment you at. There are certain bars, I won't go too, because I know what kind of trashy women there are, there certain spots I know are gonna be hot women. I.E. techno bars have the hottiest women (LA looking type chicks/model) while Hip-hop bars might have some of the more ghetto looking chicks. I'm generalizing but for most part these generalizations ring true in my area.

One thing I've been doing more is hitting college bars. Chicks are a tad younger but no kids, sometimes I even run into young professionals who are single etc etc.

As a DJ though it's your job to be in an environment where you will enjoy yourself if you hanging around an area where chicks are wack. Take a vacation or hell even move. I use to think that thought was corny, but when I talk to some friends in New York or Miami the stories they tell me. I Know I would fit right in, I'm a crazy-esscentirc type of guy. Most girls in the midwest are to conservative and "cliquey"(can't think for themselves)
So yeah my take on this is, travel for right now and peep LA and Miami's and New York's

 

[zekko]

Finding hot, single, non-mommy chicks is hard.

Yeah, when you throw the "non-mommy" bit in there, it does cut down the options some. I tend to gravitate toward women without children also, since I don't have any myself, but I agree with Solomon I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

I was saying in another thread that I think the whole "abundance" idea is a little overstated - where they say that there are so many hot women around that we are basically swimming in them. I do think that's a good attitude to have, and I do think there are enough targets that a guy does not need to be discouraged. But it's a little overstated, especially if you throw in preferences such as not having children. There are a lot of hot women out there, but if a truly attractive woman were not SOMEWHAT of a rare find, then they would not have the value that they have. But you can see by the number of guys hitting on her that she does have value.

 

[muscleman]

Well, I'm not completely against boning mommies, but they're pretty flaky because of their kid. Can't stay out late and not as reliable as non-mommies. I just recently stopped dealing with one. I understand and I'm not knocking them at all, their kid should be their #1 priority, but it puts and extra boundary between the two people. And what if, oh no, you knocked her up. What then? One thing I really listen for now when talking to girls is what kind of life stage they're at. If they want babies, I'm out.