20 direct approaches in 30 days

[Mr. Ballz]

I made an approach journal after my girlfriend of a year and two months and I broke up a few months ago. I've been meaning to post it. I made it only 20 approaches in such a large amount of time due to time restraints and being a busy grad student. Maybe some of you can reap some benefit from my experience:

I’ve decided to approach 20 girls in 30 days and learn from the experiences.

This first one doesn’t count. Since it was before I decided to start.

Approached a girl at Surrey’s while with some girls from class. I saw her walking away from her friend who was with a guy after trying to what I assumed to be drag her away from him to go to the dance floor. I see her by herself dancing and decide to go approach. I open with, Hey I thought I should meet you, whats your name, or some jazz like that. She says something I couldn’t here. I eventually get closer and she says she’s married. I say well maybe Im just trying to make friends how dare you jump to conclusions, This was followed by her pointing at her husband who was watching us. I give a thumbs up, he puts his middle one up. I was a bit bewildered by the interaction and bailed. She later passed by and said her husband was an ass, I said whatever its fine.

Pros:
I approached. Yay! 2nd one since X and I broke up 2 weeks ago.
I didn’t shy away from the situation, I jumped in and took advantage.

Cons:
• Could have told her, “good catch/lucky girl/any other clue that your husband sucks hairy balls”
• Could have approached with something random to spark a less boring interaction “I like your aura, I’m curious if you have a great personality, I hope you don’t have a husband with big biceps watching me right now.
• Didn’t do any more openers
What I’ve learned:
• There is always something better that could have been uttered, a smarter wittier remark to be thrown. Have a few classic fun openers to use and trust the humor within.

“I like your aura and wanted to meet you”
“your gorgeous/every variation”
“I just had to meet you, you seem like you have a great personality”

But the opener doesn’t matter, it’s the mood you’re in. Not always controllable, but the most important part is you do it and get more natural because that probably gets smoothed out with ze practice.
• Don’t just open one and stop. Go to the bathroom or walk outside to get a little pep talk if you need to shake something off and gather more energy. Get back in with energy and a classic opener,
“your cute whats your name” or
“you look like your pretty interesting, I just had to find out”, or what I used in Denver
“you terribly attractive, I had no choice but to meet you”.



1) 3/12/13 Kayla
I decided to start it up while on fieldwork in Thomasville and the mental institute. I planned on hitting on her as soon as I met her. I thought she was pretty cool and would be a good bet to go for.
Pros
• I did it quick. First chance to strike I attacked. I didn’t wait until the next time I passed by her or got another ‘perfect’ opportunity that I was shocked enough came the first time
• I said it exactly how I planned to say it
• I did it in an opportune moment and it wasn’t rushed and in front of unwanted eyes
• Did it easily without debate and uncertainty
Cons
• Could have joked around more and been more loose when I saw her after at different times throughout the day (was a bit, but I felt I was lacking some confidence, which slightly makes sense, but pick yourself up and brush yourself off)

2) 3/18/13 Married HB8
I roamed around for over an hour at the school’s campus before I approached. Anxiety apparently still haunts me. Not near as much as it used to, but it still made me fudge up 4 welcoming opportunities. What this AA does is make me choke on the ones I actually would like to meet and then throw in a desperate all or nothing for a girl who just doesn’t feel as right to walk up to. But, this is just the beginning of my 20 approach journey, so it would be easy to expect I need some work.

I ended up having to Carpe Diem that I would approach someone before I left. Not much of a challenge, I had more than enough urge to conquer that, then I Carpe Diemed a time limit, but that was a no go, because how can you know when you’ll pass by a girl you actually want to approach unless you’re conveniently on a spring break friendly beach.

As I walked up to one of the school’s buildings I saw MHB8 walk down going presumably to her car. We passed, then I turned around,

Me - “I’m going to kick myself later if I don’t do this, but your cute.” She looks a bit shocked at this, “whats your name?”
MHB8 – MHB8
Me – I stare at her for a bit, she stares a me for a bit while I feel the vibe that this won’t work, “you seem like you have a boyfriend”
MHB8 – “I’m married actually” She then thanks me for the compliment and we go our separate ways

Pros
• Did one of my classic - I’ll kick myself – lines. Giving a sense that I’m confident but not overly ****y and insincere
• I read her face and didn’t try to go down an unnecessary ramble to gain rapport
Cons
• APPROACH ANXIETY – I wasn’t necessarily scared to approach (but who is) I was attached to the outcome. No one likes being rejected, but the thought of it is a bit worse.
IMPROVEMENTS
• Ways to help AA –

3) 3/19/13 Brinnan HB6.5 (706-339-5363)
I decided to run to the school this morning to go on a quick jog before class to see if I could land one approach early. After arriving at campus I choked on maybe one or so approaches. I wandered around for a bit, then sat down to let people pass by me and to just enjoy where I was. After a total of maybe 15 minutes since I got there, I got up and started walking toward the direction I would be leaving thinking maybe fate would deliver me a cute chick I could quickly hit up before I left, and fate delivered.
As we are about to pass each other “where can I find the theatre?”
BHB6.5 “blah blah blah,”
Me – “I actually wanted an excuse to talk to you since I thought you were cute” (could have thrown out, ‘it’s the best I could have come up with, don’t judge me too harshly – to loosen the mood)
BHB6.5 – “oh” surprised
Me – “whats your name”
BHB6.5 – BHB6.5, are you a student here?
Me – “No I go to MCG, I’m just running around the neighborhood”
BHB6.5 – looks at clothes, “oh!, that makes sense”
Me – “are you single” (real smooth, player, slow it down next time get a bit of convo going first, I know I’m in a rush but wow)
BHB6.5 – “kinda but we’re on and off”
Me – doesn’t sound to serious, write your number on my hand and we can hang out sometime, You can find out first hand I’m not a creepy guy who just decided to hit on you
BHB6.5 – (proceeds to write down number on hand)

4) 3/20/13 SmokerHB6
Saw her made a quick comment about how she’s too cute to smoke. She looked smitten but I didn’t want to lead her on since I wasn’t that in to her so cut the convo short.
Updated 3/25/13: As I sat outside a building at the school studying and waiting on cute chicks to walk by to approach I realized this girl who was sitting at the bench a good 100 feet from me was staring at me. Obvious staring, not nonchalant sneaky staring. Every time I would look over at her she would toss her head in any direction besides mine and once I looked away through my well strained peripherals I would see her looking over. I convinced myself up to 90 percent it was this chick. Once she pulled out a cigarette I knew it was her and didn’t feel like having an audience for any of my approaches so I got up and bailed.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

5) 3/21/13 Cindy HB8 (number close)
I walked around the school campus for a good while after running there in the morning. There wasn’t much time for me. I got there around 9:30 and had to get to school by 11:30. I wandered for about 30 minutes which blew my mind how many opportunities I was letting slip. I eventually had to carpe diem that I would approach before I left, then I kicked it in gear. Damn you AA. I found a place inside to creep on the outside so I could quickly spot someone and walk up, but nothing my type came by. I wondered for one “last” time as I end up doing (I hate when I leave it to the last run, its like that’s what Im waiting for. I let it to become an all or nothing. I need to just go go go and not let myself bottle it all up until the end) I finally notice a girl walking behind me. I let her pass me to decide that she’s cute and then:
Me – do you know where the theatre is
Cindy8 - “I think its over there”
Me – “ya that was actually just an excuse to talk to you”, she smiles half confused and starts slowly walking away. “I thought you were cute, so I wanted to stop you” Still starts walking away slowly. “Ya now you think I’m creepy”
Cindy8 – “No I don’t think that” (to my surprise)
Me – Oh, what’s your name
Cindy8 - Cindy8
Me – Nice to meet you Cindy8, I’m Mr. Ballz. Are you from here? (officially the lamest conversation ever, but it wasn’t as lame as it sounds)
Cindy – I’m actually from Lincoln
Me – oh wheres that
Cindy8 – blah, but I went to Chattanooga for my first two years before I transferred here (good time to ask why she came back and go into a speel about Augusta being so quiet)
Me – oh Tennessee eh, love that Nashville, I visit that place whenever I can
Cindy8 – actually haven’t been there
Me – oh Downtown is amazing. Not much of a downtown person, but literally jump from bar to bar with live music everywhere. Looks like you have a class to run off to.
Cindy8 – actually I’m just going to go study for a bit (IOI)
Me – well in that case, (started walking with her down her direction) what do you study here?
Cindy8 – Nursing
Me – Oh cool I’m in the blah program so we’re in the same field
Cindy8 – Oh so you go to the other campus
Me – Ya, do you know a guy named Grant?
Cindy8 – In Chattanooga
Me – ya probably not the same guy (could have pushed this C’mon hombre) “well hey I’ll let you go, but how about you write down your number on my hand and we’ll hang out some time”
Cindy8 – (writes number then we split)
PROS:
• Longer convo
• Slowed it down, felt more smooth
• More relaxed
CONS:
• Need to get more deep inside joke convo going.
• Create a nickname if you can so you can text her something funny/witty or just give her a better first impression
• Basically better convo where joke around where you get opportunities and dive deeper in more interesting and get more info about HER
• AA kickin my balls around. Need to get that knocked out if you want to get more consistent approach action for the people you actually want to go for.
TIP
So far what has been benefiting me with this AA is the idea of carpe dieming that I will do it. It makes me feel like I’m all in so I might as well get my mentality straight. I know what I’m there to do. Yes, I may be there for another primary purpose, but for that moment that’s what I’m doing. Once my brain gets in that gear that it’s going to happen I just need to make myself feel comfortable with the girl I plan on approaching and I’ll do it.

6) Terri HB8.5 3/22/13 (facebook close)
Waited at a split of two entrances to the school and patiently relaxed waiting for a good target. Saw her coming on the right side leaving the school so walked up without her noticing me just chilling prior (she probably thought I just ran over from my story which was semi true). I looked at her and she looked at me smiled then looked away. As we were just about to pass each other:
Me – you are gorgeous. (pause) I just had to stop you
Terri – oh wow (huge smile, looked delighted) thank you!
Me – whats your name
Terri- Terri
Me – Mr. Ballz, I just saw you and thought I had to talk to you. What do you study?
Terri – blah, do you go here?
Me – No, I just came to look at the school’s campus, haven’t been here before (turn that lie meter down) and thought its about time I see it. I actually study blah over at blah.
Terri – Oh cool blah, do you know blah
Me – blah?
Terri – blah
Me – blah
Terrie – Blah
Me – OHH!! Ya she’s a hoot blah blah
Terrie – ya I know her from blah blah
She brings up I was wearing minimal shoes and how she tried them but can’t pull them off with her running style and how she ran a half marathon, we jibed a bit on that and spoke about how she’s lived here for 4 years. Eventually after a smooth fun conversation I say
Me – Seems like you’re heading home how about I grab your number and I’ll call you sometime
Terri – Do you have a facebook?
Me – Think I’ve heard of it, blah blah. So I’m guessing you don’t give your number out to strangers
Terri – ya just seems easy and safe to meet people through facebook
I thank her for her time and she gives a warm handshake (literally my hands were freezing)
PROS:
• Great approach, direct and confident, didn’t go in for a secondary reason then change and say I just wanted an excuse to talk to her
• Great plot and didn’t wander aimlessly hoping for a convenient passerby
• Great reasoning for why I was there
CONS:
• Not much, played that dolphin well
TIP
• Its easier on me if I stay in one spot. That way I don’t have to worry about wandering aimlessly and thinking people are watching me wondering why I’m there walking in laps looking around. Stay in one spot, make it natural and wait. Then approach when you get an opportune moment. It will MOST LIKELY save you time
• Once again the Carpe Diem that I was going to get an approach took the right affect in the brain to get me in gear. Need to be in gear to get what you want.
• Need to work on approaching quicker. When you see it go for it, don’t float around and let AA gather more ammo.

7) Mall HB6.5 3/23/13
Knew this was a throw away. I did it because I bailed on an easier one where it was a split second decision. She glanced at me and smiled and I kept walking. Kicked myself a bit and just as I said it goes down, I end up going up to a worse option just to get the deed done. I didn’t think she was ugly or expected it to go horribly (which it didn’t) it just would have been magic with the other one or at least I would have felt it was more right.
TIP
• Work on AA by acting fast. I’m getting better at overcoming AA, especially when there is plotting or time to approach, but taking those few second opportunities is the golden key to getting to where you want to be. It doesn’t have to be magic, but act fast and see what happens.
• Allow yourself to be embarrassed, especially if it’s at a place where you visit every random time you decide you want to find your shoe size.

8) Megan HB7.5 3/24/13
We made eye contact as I was at the bucks of stars working on homework for mental health. She sat next to me after getting her order and starts reading or texting. I was just finishing up the work and about to head out so I decided to turn to her and see if she was attractive up close haha. She was, so I approached with:
Me – Hey I was just about to leave, but thought I’d say you’re pretty attractive. Just thought I’d share.
Megan – “oh thanks!”
Me – You go to school around here?
She shares she is working for 1st Pres, a popular church for people in my school from what I gather. We talk about what I’m studying and move on to if I go to a church around here. I knew the destination of this conversation, but I had the time and thought hell with it. What ensued was a 30 minute conversation on Faith, fake Christians and motivation to become the best you can be. It was fun, but of course not the conversation I was searching for and if I really actually wanted to break this stuff down I know many who would love to help out that I trust, BUT I’m glad I did it and it felt very comfortable, shame she was a hardcore Christian.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

9) Lady in Red HB7 3/25/13
It seems like I’m going for an approach a day, but I’m really not. I’m trying to go for as many great opportunities as I can grab. As I’m leaving the school after studying for a bit, lady in red is passing by. I throw out:
Me – “Well you look really cute” (She was dressed for a presentation)
LINHB7 – “Oh, well thank you”
And I’m sure a decent conversation would have followed if it wasn’t so blisteringly cold out even with my two jackets on, but I knew I wasn’t terribly attracted and thought I had aikido to rush off to, until I remembered that Jewish holidays ruin my aikido days and came back to the school to do a bit more homework.

10) Brittany HB7 3/25/13 (digits)
This the quickest I’ve gone from approach to write up. I did this one about 2 minutes ago. I was walking up the stairs to go find the game room that I heard about earlier and I see her walking down, we pass write at the midpoint at the flat area:
Me – I’m going to kick myself if I don’t do this, you’re really cute
Brittany – Oh thanks (giggling and smiling)
Me – What’s your name
Brittany – Blah
Me – Mr. Ballz, sorry didn’t mean to take you off guard. So what do you study
Brittany – Math and Accounting, I know I’m a real nerd
Me – Ya I could never do that, that’s horrifying
Br – what about you?
Me – Occupational therapy, no sciences except for one semester, I can deal with that a bit better. Hey it looks like you’re heading home how about I grab your number and I’ll hit you up later.
Br – (excited) ya sure (digits)
Me - Sorry if I sound nervous, I don’t do this very often
Br – Oh its okay, I just got done working out and was hoping no one would see me
Me – Well I noticed and had to hit on you, that’s a good sign. Nice meeting you, have a good night.

Oi. I haven’t done an approach this harsh since the first few ones. I honestly did feel nervous, but I don’t think it was because I was scared to approach. In fact, I usually feel that anxiety right before I open my mouth, then it leaves. I think I felt the way I did because I was minimally out of breath from walking up the stairs. I know that sounds like an excuse but it seems like the only logical reason.

There was so much room for improvement. I needed to talk to her longer. She had so much time, we were warm and not in an uncomfortable location and she showed great interest. I needed to hit it off with her there for both our sakes and save ourselves feeling awkward later if I do hit her up. I felt self-conscious with the echo of the stair well and wanted to escape and let myself. Don’t do that. Let the discomfort soak in and get over it. That was a perfect place to push further. Hindsight is always 20/20 but I’ll be prepared for a next time.

PROS:
• Great AA destruction, get up and go GO GO
• Natural conversation, really wasn’t that bad
CONS:
• Not long enough to know anything besides name, what she studies, something about UGA, she works out and number
• Should have stayed in stairwell and overcome the self-conscious sensation of hearing my voice booming and echoing as random people walk up and down ‘observing’ me.
TIPS:
• Ask her if she’s from here, since you work out play any sports, what amibitions do you have to follow the path of accounting, Get ready to feel the blizzard when you walk outside (really anything to push the conversation and get to know her
• CREATE AN INSIDE JOKE SO TEXTING FEELS AMAZINGLY EASY (disclaimer: must have ability to communicate longer than 30 seconds in order to create an inside joke)
FOLLOWUP:
3/24/13 Brittany first phone call (after crappy boring texts)
She answers and is a waterfall of thoughts. She talks nonstop and it flows smooth, but it didn’t feel like we meshed well. The fact she reminded me of Shane’s Kelsey is a horrifying sign, but I thought whatever happens, I’m know one who gets too attached so I would drop it if it ever went that way. We spoke for 30 or so minutes.
CONS:
• Made it feel like an interview in the beginning instead of hitting up an old friend/more relaxed
• Didn’t joke around as much
• Threw out too many courtesy laughs trying to ease the mood
TIPS:
• Laugh when she earns it. Don’t try to ‘improve’ the conversation by fake laughing, improve it with your personality, being funny and pushing her to have to be funny. If it doesn’t work then she isn’t someone you want to chat with.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

11) Sandy Chill HB7 3/28/13 (digits)
I did this relatively quick after getting over to the school after my morning jog. I passed by 1 girl who I should have approached, brushed it off. I then saw this girl walking toward my direction to the building I cam from and as I passed her said:
Me – Do you know where the health services building is?
Chill – no sorry
Me – its alright, I actually wanted to stop you and say your extraordinarily cute
Chill – oh thanks
Me – Whats your name?
Chill – Chill, I’m actually running to go study Chemistry so that’s why I look like I’m in such a rush (spoken as relaxed as a panda)
Me – Oh so you’re a science major that sounds rough
Chill – actually know I’m a lab sciences major
Me – I didn’t even know that existed, who searches that out as their passion in life
Chill – I actually took a occupation analysis test and it told me this is what I would be good at blah blah blah, thx google
Me – How often do you get hit on?
Chill – Oh never, this is like the first time
Me – you just seem so relaxed like this is the 5th time this morning you’ve been hit on
Chill – oh no I’m just stressed from all the studying I have to do (stated as chill as chilli) so what do you study here?
Me – I’m actually at MCG
Chill – oh I’ll be there with you soon, off to grad school after this
(we blah blah blah)
Me – Well I’ll let you go study seems like you’ve got plenty to knock out but before you go—
Chill – you want directions to the health services?
Me – Ah, well that too, but I wanted to grab your number haha. I can call you up some time and let you realize I’m not just a creeper or something
Chill – (laughs, looks for location in her school planner, then gives up)
Me – (she seems so nonchalant during the whole interaction I can’t tell if she thought I was hitting on her or asking the time) I mean if you don’t want to its no big deal
Chill – No, I’ll give it to you, 706----wait I’ll give you the other one
Me – make sure you give me the fake one
Chill – I promise its not fake (digits) I may not be able to talk this week, I have so much to study
Me – Then I wont hit you up any time soon no worries. alright good look studying,
Chill – oh I’m going to need it, good look finding that health services.

Most relaxed girl, she reminded me of Courtney as I was talking to her. She just didn’t seem phased by any of it. It relaxed me immensely even though I was as calm and on my game as ever already. She was fun, and seemed like a good person, I may follow up but she wasn’t ridiculously perfectly my type. We did hit it off well though for the short conversation, it just seemed like we knew each other forever and it was just simply smooth. I swear I just hit on a girl with the soul of a panda.

PROS:
• Most relaxed conversation, flowed like the Nantahala
• Got better rapport before going for the number, genuinely felt like I was getting to know her
CONS:
• Maybe could have gotten a facebook as to figure out if I thought she was cute enough to really go for

FOLLOWUP:
4/4/13 Sandy first phone call (no text….EVR)
Hit her up after driving for about 1.5 hours. I was trying to ring up Courtney, but she didn’t answer so after debating ringing up Sandy forever I decided to call. I’m still not sure if that was a great idea. It makes it more difficult to hit on girls at the school when I know there is a girl I’m bonding closer to hovering somewhere in the area.
I ring her and hear her ridiculous voicemail and leave a voicemail:
“hey, its that guy who hit on you 2 weeks ago, give me a ring back if you want, k bye”
She rings back 1 minute later and what follows is the smoothest most relaxed conversation, just like when we chatted in person. She started with saying she was wondering when I would call her (sounding girly/sexual slightly which I wasn’t expecting) I trash talked her voicemail and said there was no way she was over 21. I was right, she was 19. She guessed my age somehow and got 25. She’s a bit young and told me some strange things: she wants a family badly, like real bad. She wants to start popping out kids so she doesn’t want to go to grad school or med school. And I cant forget to add she wants a Honda Element to make the transportation of these kids to the beach a bit easier. She has the mentality of Jane but a completely different personality. She’s shy, and doesn’t like being the center of attention, she enjoys reading, playing with her dogs and the small group of friends she has. She loves to sing, but can never do it in front of people, even her boyfriend of 2 years. She would throw out compliments to me calling me smooth and that I’m cute every now and then.
She eventually told me how within that week she got hit on by 4 guys coming from a girl who apparently never usually gets hit on. All the other guys left notes for her and gave it to her that way. She read one that she really liked where it said something about if she’s having a bad day hopefully this would make her feel better, saying she was gorgeous and leaving a number. We discussed how that method worked. She liked how nice the note was but said the ball in her court wasn’t a great idea with a shy girl. She did call, but to only say thank you. I brought up how it may have been a nice gesture, but would be harder to see that guy in an attractive confident light and she agreed. We spoke for maybe about 90 minutes and hit it off real well. She was great company for the lonely ride over and better than relaxing to music.
CONS:
• I didn’t know how to flirt when she brought up I was cute, and I didn’t know how to escalate sexual discussion and make it less of friends chatting
PROS:
• Incorporated humor better and busted her on things, making funny comparisons and told stories
TIPS:
• Create some classic stories to share that are short and quick maybe that DHV
• Learn how to move topics to more sexuality and her experience perhaps/look online for tips

4/13/13 First Date with Sandy
Called her since she was heading back from Virginia and she wanted me to accompany her at least a bit during the tedious drive. I marveled her with my with and we joked around and ended the conversation planning to meet later the same day to go walking at the canal. We met up at the time after discussing if we should meet at the poor or rich side.
It was interesting to finally meet her after so long. She looked incredibly more attractive than I remember. That’s probably due to the magic of proper use of makeup. We immediately hit it off just like we did on the phone. We walked forever and endlessly told stories and discussed thoughts. We sat at the park half way in the trail and did hand stands and aikido. The aikido was to help push kino and get some comfort. It worked well and she was very receptive to have me touch her however. She always walked or sat close to me. At some point with us sitting at the park I felt she was patiently waiting for me to make a move. When I was getting the urge to make the move the conversation swiftly moved to portapottys. I decided to exercise patients. At some point as we were walking back we discussed carriages at Marietta Square and how I thought she was full of crap. I texted Jeff to find out and after texting I looked at her and said wait a sec, before continuing walking and moved in to kiss her. It was simple and effective. She was very receptive and we kissed for a few seconds before I pulled away “okay, now we can keep going”. I noticed many girls after I do this ignore the discussion of the kiss and just keep on going as they were.
We went back to our cars a bit later after more talking and eventually decided to go eat. We did and walked more, until I finally said well you’re freezing you’re probably dying to get home. If she was older I would have felt more comfortable inviting her over, but I can’t help but feel this is a bit too young. Still, great fun.

4/18/13 – Sandy after first date and ultimate and setting up 3rd date on phone
just talked to Sandy. Highlights:
*spoke on every topic under the sun,
* she keeps checking to make sure I dont snore and when she sleeped in a bed with 'that one guy' she shared a twin and he snored.
* joked about whether it was a date or not and how I should assume its a date then since its at 6pm, she followed with now she doesnt know what to think and asked what time I should move it to
* spoke about how she has to climb a stepping stool to get to a tall rope, climb that and swing onto her bed, while i fall to my knees, shake off the pain and roll onto my inch thick mattress.
*buying milk is as embarrassing as buying condoms
*she's going to wear workout clothes because I'm difficult and dont want to go to a restaurant (she said how she'll just eat before).
overall went smooth and she doesnt want to do anything in Evans bc she thinks its boring. probably for the best I really dont want to meet her parents or anything awkward like that. if she was living by herself this wouldnt be near as strange, but just got to deal or move on and not be a creeper. I mean for real, what are you trying to do here. Do you want to just have sex with this girl and say you're too young sorry and move on? or do you actually want to seriously date her or something? If she was my age or relatively close I would want to date her so far, but the age thing is getting to me.

TIP:
look up what is a decent way about not paying for everything when you're poor.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

12) Paige HB8 3/28/13
It was in the same run as the last one, maybe about 20 minutes later max. I wasn’t given many good choices in those 20 minutes except one I let slip away mainly because I wasn’t 100% sure I hadn’t spoken to her in the last 11 girls (pretty sure, but she kept eyeing me almost like she knew me, anywhere else would have taken it as IOI). I’m chilling where I met Terri last week and stretching, giving myself something to do as I wait for a perfect target. I stretch for a good while then decide to go down one of the 2 entrances toward the school. I think about it and realize there is a slim shot at hitting anything going that way, so I head back the other way and see a small trail of people leaving the school and one who looked like potential. I walk out with her and cross the road, but I’m behind her. Enough behind her to have no idea what she looks like:
Me – Hey, I’m looking--, HEY! Girl in front of me!
Paige – Oh, hey! Didn’t know you meant me
Me – ya that was a bit harsh to get your attention, my bad, I’m just looking for the health services (genuinely used this because I did not know what she looked like and have no urge to waste my time hitting on a girl without her being my type)
Paige – oh no I have no idea
Me – actually you are extraordinarily cute, I wasn’t expecting that
Paige – oh! Sorry
Me – you should be, you have every right to be, whats your name
Paige – Paige
Me – Mr. Ballz, nice to meet you we can keep walking, I’m going this way anway (hoping not to run into Terri, since this is where I hit on her last around this time and she actually knows a girl from my class) So what do you study
Paige – I’m actually a freshman, But thinking about Exercise Health Science to go into PT
Me – (gave her the works on how she would be better off with different major and taking all the pre reqs if she wants to find a job first between grad school)
She was real happy overall about the interaction and advice. I left without going for the number. I’m not here to rob any cradles. She was real cute, and if she was older (21 minimum) I would have asked it no problem and wouldn’t have cared if I got it. Easiest day so far, not to say the past few ones haven’t been easy as well. It just was quicker, fluid and natural. I’m not struggling to think of what to speak about, it just flows out no problem. Perhaps its because the girls are interesting too or I can carry my own pretty well after the last 12 practices.
PROS:
• Didn’t act like I was making up an excuse to speak to her, but just acted shocked during the question to discover she was attractive and go from there (less chumpy)
• Acted quick
• Didn’t let the location set me off with the fear that I would wander into Terri/anyone I’ve hit
CONS:
• Na, you did alright Haz

13) Married chick HB7.5 3/30/13
I was studying outside of the school today (Saturday) and knew that meant no students, but I needed to study and had the brilliant idea of sitting where people jog. I studied there for a good while until 2 girls passed by. I kicked myself for not going in, but so far I’ve only approached girls with no posse and wasn’t on my toes enough to go for it. I eventually saw a cute girl jog passed me, I tried to grab her attention, but it was too late as she hopped on her way with her music blaring. She most likely didn’t even notice me. On her return I stopped her and said something about her being cute and had to stop her. She shined the ring in my face attacking my eyes with the glittering nugget. She bid me farewell as I cleaned the ground of my shattered heart.

14) Courtney HB7 3/31/13 (got number)
WOW, what the hell happened today? Glad you asked. No targets throughout my casual day of playing ultimate Frisbee for 3 hours, but that was to be expected and what living without approaching being primary is all about. I ended up going to Wallyworld to go grab some food and while I was there I saw 2 targets. I saw my actual target first. This is how insane my mind can be:
ATHB8 –
• saw her in the very beginning at the produce area – choked, wanted to go in, but felt I had time to wait (…don’t do that, ever)
• Saw her at the makeup isle – choked (acceptable, it was crowded)
--time out
Court – this is where I decided to change targets and knock out this chick
• I see her at the produce – choked (no good reason)
• I see her at the check out – I stand behind her….wait for it…..30 seconds must have passed by before I said a word to her. I’ve never paused that much during an approach usually when Im in Im in. Not sure what was floating in my head. She didn’t notice me behind her from what I can tell. I open with
Me – hey, I just had to say I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you
Court – oh hi
Me – whats your name
Blah
Me – you go to school around here?
Blah
Me – oh I’ve actually heard of that program funny enough
Court – do you go to school?
Me – blah
Court – oh are you in the Health Sciences building
Me – ya!
Court – oh we’re on the same building
She then tells me how we’re both on the second floor. I also get the knowledge she’s from Chattanooga and came here for the program. I ask her a bit about Chattanooga and if she wears Chakos because she’s an outdoors nut and such. I ask her if she has a giant boyfriend who would beat me up if I asked for her number. I get digits and tell her I’m not going to stay in this insanely long line, but it was nice meeting her.
THEN
Back to ATHB8
• SEE HER AT THE FROZEN ISLE – CHOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• See her all around the damn food section – choke party
• Finally, she gets in line…THE EXACT SAME LINE AS COURTNEY. I think well this will just be a dejavue
I stand behind her JUST LIKE 10 minutes ago with Courtney and patiently wait for literally no apparent reason. I then start thinking how similar she looks like this girl I know named Crystal and how awkward it would be to hit on her if it was her….then the register lady from the next checkout isle comes over and tells me to go with her on her isle since its empty. I’m all like ‘SURE!’ when inside im all like O____________O. I must have had a good 30 seconds or so to make a move. I could have opened with
‘is your name crystal’ – she be all like no, and I be all like oh well you’re cute and I wanted to hit on you a bit, if this becomes terribly awkward I’ll just move on to another isle. BUT hindsight is 20/20. None the less I kicked myself a bit for that one, but its all fun. I even waited outside for her putting my stuff in my backpack real slow hoping she’d pop out and I’d smack some belated game all over her, but it was not to be. She was in a much longer line.
Overall I’m pretty happy how it all went down, but it made me realize how capable I am and how much I’ve stopped sweating in these situations. Its more I took my time on it than I was too nervous. It’s interesting, but a much easier fix than having to get over intense AA. Funny day, and good times.
PROS:
• Tried to indulge the convo a bit more than usual asking things about her and what she does
• Shook off nerves real well
• Moved in and out, did not linger very long
CONS:
• Waited WAY to long to approach the girls since I was given ample opportunities that could easily be defined as perfect earlier as long as you don’t consider perfect where they run up to me screaming ‘we’re single, we’re horny and we’re apparently socially awkward’
TIPS:
• Open your mouth quick make it as immediate as you can. In this situation it would have not have been any more or less awkward or amazing to do it earlier or later, so earlier when you get a shot is best. You wont be kicking yourself if the situation doesn’t come back
• Push the conversation!!! Get more inside scoop of who they are. DON’T BE SCARED TO ASK WHO THEY ARE, you’re getting their number SAAAN, you have every right to know more about them to judge if it’s worth your time as well as theirs

15) Meghan HB6 4/1/13
Me – you, girl directly in front of me…….
Her - ….yes
Me – your cute…..just wanted to meet you
Her –oh hi.
Me – whats your name
Her – blah
Me – well blah are you running to class right now
Her – blah blah
Me – oh chemistry, that sounds awful. Are you a science major
Her – blah blah, whats your name?
Me – blah, so why are you taking chemistry for business
Her – blah blah blah
Me – are you from here Meghan?
Her – blah
Me – so you’ve lived here your whole life AND decided to go to school here
Her – blah
Me – (joshed on a bit), well I won’t bug you any longer, it was nice meeting you.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

16) Crazy Body HB6 4/2/13
This girl looked amazing from a distance. She had a rockin body but up close I realized she wasn’t my type. I ran up to her from where I was sitting (under a tree studying). I approached by waving at her since she had earbuds. She smiled big and I told her she was cute and I wanted to say hello. I then said
Me – wait, you have braces how old are you
CBHB6 – 18, 19.
Me – you sure about that? Well either way I’m not trying to rob any cradles, but you really are cute, have a good day.
She looked hypnotized with a big grin on her face. Always feels great to make someones day.
PNOTE: Missed 2 or so great chances. It feels like I’m doing that almost every day now, where I miss about 2 solid approaches (not too crowded, girl is attractive). Sometimes these are the girls that give me IOIs or just the first girl I run into at an area and I can’t figure out why I choke. I beat my head around for a bit before I let it go. I’m improving on the letting it go part, probably because I’m actually making great approaches everyday, but also because I know how necessary it is to not wrap my head around this stuff too much.

17) Lunchroom Chick HB6 4/3/13
Hit this girl up quick at the hospital cafeteria across from my programs building. I hit it more so due to principal more than interest. I wanted to get my 20 relatively soon. I did it while with 4 or so classmates, but not in front of them. I made sure they weren’t around. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much, but I need to get over that to get those tougher approaches where its actually a chick I want to talk to. She was married, and I dropped the conversation real quick, but I should have messed around with it a bit and joked and such to get some experience.

18) Freedom HB8 4/5/13
Riding down to St. Louis with a friend and the other half, the Mrs, we came across a Mc’Ds and stopped inside. Its the only proper way to destroy the body after sitting in a car not moving for 4 hours. After stepping in I see this glorious looking girl sitting by her lonesome waiting patiently for some smooth guy to come whisk her away from the Mcdoubles. I approach after waiting in line with Mr. Smooth for a short minute and open with “Hey”. I eventually say you’re cute just wanted to say hello.
We chat for a bit about who she is and where we are and she tells me she’s pregnant and engaged, I tell her I’m going to St. Louis so I guess it’s not meant to be. We chat some more and she’s all smiles from the first introduction to the very end. My friend popped his head after ordering his food and asked if we’re sitting there. I say “ya, she’s friendly” and they join with their food. Eventually her step father comes out of the bathroom and we meet Jeff, a man who shared a story where he literally had a dead hooker in his basement. After a good 20 or so minute chat we get out of there. Somehow we ran into the friendliest Mcdonald patrons.
19) Kylee and Mallory HB7.5 4/5/13
They were sitting down at a table behind ours when I first met up with Ben and the rest

20) Nellyfan HB7.5 4/5/13
Saw her in a group dancing together at the loudest center of St. Louis. I approach the cutest one and grab her by the hand and say I want to dance. Grinding (which I honestly cant stand) for a few minutes ensues.
PROS:
• She said her name was Natasha, I said I’ve met too many of you – not boring

WHATS ON MY MIND:
3/29/13 texting
I know its not the most important part of this and honestly its more about the approaches than anything else at this point, but I am trying to do my best on all of the approaches I might as well follow through with them correctly. My texting is sloppy. I need some technique.
CONS:
• BORRRRRING. Texting should be either an exciting way to learn about someone or crazy and random. No chick wants to hear anything great happen today unless its someone they’ve known for a good shake.
• Better to have inside joke before leaving conversation with approach to text using said joke to be more playful/meaningful.
TIP:
• Call if you really want to know the girl better, more information, more boss.
• 1st text Short, humerous,/playful/flirty requiring no response
• Use emoticons to not be monotone (debatable), hyperbole to create more interesting story, possibly ignore her boring threads, follow questions with flirty/comedic statement, send them to amuse YOU, not get to an end goal (CALL FOR THAT)
NOTES:
• A girl who replies to a boring text is interested
• A girl who takes a long time to text back may just be like yourself
• A girl who takes 2 days to text back is probably not interested (need to look more into)

4/29/13 THINGS I’VE LEARNED
After doing this for a short while I think I’ve accomplished enough to stop until I see a reason to continue. I’m currently having a great time with Sandy who I met during these approaches. I’ve learned a few things I don’t want to forget too easily, but in the chance I do here they are:
• Text smart – it needs to be fun, playful, entertaining for yourself and avoid planning/scheduling/serious discussions through text
• Phone should be your strong point and main communication (at least in the very beginning) - shows confidence and lets you GET TO KNOW THE PERSON
• If conversations don’t go smoothly over the phone then most likely it wouldn’t work too well in person – My initial call with Sandy was smoother than a baby’s bottom. It lasted over an hour and I had to end it due to time constraints.
o On that note, find out more about them than you share about yourself, there will be plenty to share about you later
o BUT make sure you share stories, share as many as soon as you want, those are entertaining and usually show value opposed to sharing facts about who you are
• Stick with inside jokes if you can, its great at creating a bond – texting nicknames, relating inside jokes in humor texts
• If you’re going to approach might as well do it with confidence., it will always be smoother and I feel more natural
• Never go out solo with the primary reason to approach. Always have a better more productive primary reason to be out (you’re a busy man and things need to be done, but if you see a beautiful girl in the process…)

 

[zinc4]

why not try 20 in one day...i mean since you are already out there doing it....your chances of success from merely approaching 20 over a one month time period are not too great...20 a day will get you a new plate pretty quickly, though, if you have decent convo skills and aren't bad looking...i recommend going to the mall or any busy plaza...doesn't take long to go through 20 in crowded areas....you should be able to pull 10-15 numbers a day this way and then out of those one possible date or more if you look good enough and are not a robot when talking...

 

[DragonBlood]

A girl who takes a long time to text back may just be like yourself

I dont get this. What do you mean Ballz? Do you mean she is a player?


Anyway, good cold approaches. I agree you should not be going out with the sole purpose of pick up. Once you have your confidence and experiance its just not as necessary.

 

[DJ Bax]

I really like this thread, I've been getting more motivated to do some cold approaches lately myself. Seems like you're having a lot of success.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

why not try 20 in one day...i mean since you are already out there doing it....your chances of success from merely approaching 20 over a one month time period are not too great...20 a day will get you a new plate pretty quickly, though, if you have decent convo skills and aren't bad looking...i recommend going to the mall or any busy plaza...doesn't take long to go through 20 in crowded areas....you should be able to pull 10-15 numbers a day this way and then out of those one possible date or more if you look good enough and are not a robot when talking...

If this is what someone desires and they have the time, absolutely. I don't have the time and honestly don't really desire being out approaching all day. There are more important things to accomplish, but on my day to day routine if I see a something I fancy I'll give it a go.

I used to go out and just approach, but after some time my happiness becomes reliant on how well I perform. It also stopped becoming fun and seemed more like a chore. It also felt a bit strange to not have a solid purpose for being out. Now I just go out and do whatever I'm doing (my primary purpose), like magic a lot less pressure approaching (secondary purpose). If I'm out with friends who do what I can do, its on. Otherwise, I don't find it very productive. Also I'm a bit picky so chances are I won't end up seeing an overflow of girls I'd jump on.

I dont get this. What do you mean Ballz? Do you mean she is a player?

I was reflecting off my own laidback texting habits. I tend to take my time (or mainly I just forget to text back). Either way it tends to work in my favor, I can't come off as needy. Its when days pass and I forget to text back an actual girlfriend...that'll come back and bite you.

 

[zinc4]

If this is what someone desires and they have the time, absolutely. I don't have the time and honestly don't really desire being out approaching all day. There are more important things to accomplish, but on my day to day routine if I see a something I fancy I'll give it a go.

I used to go out and just approach, but after some time my happiness becomes reliant on how well I perform. It also stopped becoming fun and seemed more like a chore. It also felt a bit strange to not have a solid purpose for being out. Now I just go out and do whatever I'm doing (my primary purpose), like magic a lot less pressure approaching (secondary purpose). If I'm out with friends who do what I can do, its on. Otherwise, I don't find it very productive. Also I'm a bit picky so chances are I won't end up seeing an overflow of girls I'd jump on.

Yeah, i can understand this mindset about the happiness thing....i have felt that way before...as well...it is easy to become addictive to cold approaching and get totally caught up in it...