"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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#2 and confused

Spade_1

Don Juan
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May 21, 2007
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Well I've had a major case of oneitis for a girl that I've been interested for 2 years. She has no interest in me, and has interest for my best friend. He has no interest for her, but we're all friends. The thing is I'm not still trying for her, I'm trying to forget her and move on. The only problem is that when she's on good terms with my best friend she couldn't care less about me, but when she's on not-so friendly terms with him she comes straight to me. Not to talk about him, but I become #1 as soon as she's mad at him or they haven't talked in a while.

I hate being #2 and I don't even want her anymore, I just want her to stop comming to me as a backup. I want to send her the message in the nicest way possible cuz she is a friend and a good person. What should I do?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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