1st Post, need some advice!!!!

[LostbutFound]

Hey everyone, this is my first post. I've been checking out this board and the DJ Bible and I am very impressed, yet I feel totally stupid, because I am realizing just how many mistakes I have made with girls!!!

But thats why I joined..so I can learn and hopefully turn myself around.

Heres my current situation, and judging by all the wrong I have learned I've done...Im sure Im gonna get hammered but thats why Im here, to learn damnit!!! lol

Ok, so I met this girl last summer...amazing. I saw her the moment I entered the club and I was hooked. Anyway I was watching her and every guy that went up to her got turned down in a heartbeat...so I was too scared to do it (I know...I know)

Luck was on my side though, some girl just came up to me and started talking...she wasnt my type, but I tried to work on my talking skills (At the time I just got out of a long relationship and got really screwed and was trying to get back into things) So I talked to her anyway...it turns out she was friends with the girl I saw!!! So she came over later and I was introduced to her....Long story short, we talked, she met my friend that was there and ended up liking him...Totally pissed me off but let me explain why.

This girl just seemed to have what I wanted...she Loved the yankees (Huge plus!!), she wanted to be a teacher just like me, played soccer since she was kid...The list went on, from her ability to get along with everyone, to her sense of style.

Anyways like I said she like my friend, I kind of was pissed because it was somethin I liked so much (I know...that too was a big mistake) and I showed it (Again, I know..I know)

My friend dont want her, hes got this other girl that he is all about and doesnt want this girl I want. I discussed with him what he thinks I should do...He said just be cool with her, be friends and dont push nothing and if worse comes to worse, just use her to hook you up with any hot friends shes got.

My question to all of you is this....Should I stay friends with her to see if shes got any friends I might be interested in?? I know its not smart to stay friends with someone I have an interest for...but my friend says that if I really showed her what Im like (when I first met her, my gaurd was way up, and I acted totally different then when I usually do i.e. I was cold, never really smiled, and so on)

So should I just be cool and have fun...not take it serious and see what happens or what??

 

[mrExtreme]

Keep her as a friend because she may have hot friends and she can talk you up to her friends. You can also go out to clubs/bars or whatever with her and use her as social proof. The other girls at the club or whatever will see you with this HB and wonder what you are doing with such a good looking girl and that will make them naturally curious about you.
Be sure to lighten up because girls don't like guys who act cold and unfriendly.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I personally would pursue her because you'll kick yourself later if you never let her know your romantic interest in her. Or else you will go crazy if another dude takes her away a month from now!!

So you must act!! The question is, how? She didn't see your 'real' self so you didn't give her much to go on - Iguess you were too nervous

Is there a way your friend can make an inquiry for you regarding this hb9 interest level in you, if any? If not, then ask her straight out without mincing words.

I never subscribed to to the 'friends' thinking because that is not my method of operation. I can pursue women on my own and do not need the assistance of another woman!

Congrats on your first post! Two years lurking on this site - that's a long time. It's about time you had the nerve to come out of the closet!!

 

[LostbutFound]

I'd like to pursue her, but I think that she was soo turned off but what she first saw that it may be too late. My friend that I mentioned said to me that she hasnt seen the real me by any means and if she did, she would think twice. I know Im a great catch, my problem is...yes Ill admit it....I got played by my last girl and it screwed me up bad. I finally realized that I was into her looks, not her personality, and she knew that and used it against me....what pisses me off, is that its the first time that happened...I used to be able to go to any girl, do whatever, and this last one messed that up big time...Yeah it sucks

Heres some good news though...The girl I met...Im going down to Delaware (where she goes to school) with one of my other friends who is going to see his girl down there (they happened to go to the same school) and we're all gonna try and hang out. Only thing is, she doesnt sound too thrilled about it now....I cant really say how she feels, cause we only talked by text message, but I just got a wierd feeling.

Anyways I know this the perfect time to show her the other side of me and to see whats up...Im just gonna try and have fun, hit on some girls and see her reaction to it.

As for me being nervous when we first hung out...Im not sure if it was that or if my gaurd was up at full force being that I just got out a relationship that screwed me up.

After that, I took a long time off from relationships (two years) and I just started doing things for myself because I never really did put myself first. Im making progress but Im at a point where I really need to make the step and go up to girls...the ones I've met usually came up to me or were friends of a friend.

Oh well...the good thing is that if all else fails, I got this chick now that is all about sex and no relationship...and that helps take some of the pressure off (In more ways than one ) So now all I gotta think is that hey, if i get turned down, i still got someone to go back to and get a nice hummer!!!!!