"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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1st date kissing and the 3 date rule

Jean Valjean

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Brothers

what is the 3 date rule? Can you elaborate. I find myself in these ongoing dates that resemble pals with not sex.

In the past I see that if I was kissing a girl hard on the first date things went well romantically and sexually but if no kissing took place we tended to stay distant and act like just pals

what is your take
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Teflon_Mcgee

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You do not date a girl until you've had sex with that girl (unless she's ultra-conservative/religous and you don't mind ending up in the FZ.)

And I whish I would have undertood this earlier in life (in fact I didn't understand until I met my wife.)

You meet a girl, you liker her, and you want to date her.
Okay, go out ONE time doing something simple and fun. Build the sexual tension (you may or may not want go for the kill on the first date depending on a lot of different factors.)

From that point on, keep contact low unless you know that contact will lead to sex (i.e. unless you're going to end up at a quiet secluded place where sex is likely, stay away.)

Once you have sex you can date the girl as much as you want.

Trust me, don't write this advice off. How this works is you immediatley set the frame in which you are a sexual being and your relationship is a sexual one.

When you date without sex (unless, possibly, you do everything but sex) you set the exact frame you talk about. Things become uncomfortable, boundries get drawn, and awkard friendly behaviour becomes expected.


There is no such thing as a three day rule. A three day rule implies you've been on three dates. It should be one initial date, and then only contact that has a good chance of leading to sex. And then continue dating.
 

Skydiver43127

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Always try to escalate to a next step - touching, kissing, ect. The girl will probably stop you at some point with a "not yet" rejection. I've done my share of mistakes and these are:
1. Waiting too much to make the first attempt
2. Skipping escalation steps (slapping her on the ass before she's comfortable with you hugging her? bad idea, believe me, no matter what DD says)
3. All kind of moronic things having nothing to do with the simple topic discussed here. :)

Anyway, all mistakes are recoverable as long as the girl's still willing to meet you and you don't repeat them again and again.
 

Allurre

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Make an intimate move within the first three dates (kino escalation, kiss-close), or you'll be sending mixed signals to the girl that you're sexually-challenged and not into her.

Inadvertently, she may even lose interest in you as a potential mate.
 

Jean Valjean

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Allurre said:
Make an intimate move within the first three dates (kino escalation, kiss-close), or you'll be sending mixed signals to the girl that you're sexually-challenged and not into her.

Inadvertently, she may even lose interest in you as a potential mate.

you are right that is what happens or they tell you that they just want to be friends first so then its NEXT
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Jean Valjean

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Teflon_Mcgee said:
You do not date a girl until you've had sex with that girl (unless she's ultra-conservative/religous and you don't mind ending up in the FZ.)

And I whish I would have undertood this earlier in life (in fact I didn't understand until I met my wife.)

You meet a girl, you liker her, and you want to date her.
Okay, go out ONE time doing something simple and fun. Build the sexual tension (you may or may not want go for the kill on the first date depending on a lot of different factors.)

From that point on, keep contact low unless you know that contact will lead to sex (i.e. unless you're going to end up at a quiet secluded place where sex is likely, stay away.)

Once you have sex you can date the girl as much as you want.

Trust me, don't write this advice off. How this works is you immediatley set the frame in which you are a sexual being and your relationship is a sexual one.

When you date without sex (unless, possibly, you do everything but sex) you set the exact frame you talk about. Things become uncomfortable, boundries get drawn, and awkard friendly behaviour becomes expected.


There is no such thing as a three day rule. A three day rule implies you've been on three dates. It should be one initial date, and then only contact that has a good chance of leading to sex. And then continue dating.
good post!


You are right Things become uncomfortable, boundries get drawn, and awkard friendly behaviour becomes expected. Then its time for NEXT
 
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