1st date & Kisses

[amoka]

Hello guys, I met this 8.5 girl yesterday while on my search for new apartment. She is one of the workers at the place I though of staying. We talked for sometime and told her to come watch a movie with me. To my surprise, she aggreed and provided me her number. I called her after her work and arrange to pick her up at 8.30pm. I picked her up. On the way to the movie, I asked if she drinks to which she responded yes, and I told her if she you'd like to come to my place for some drink with which she responded yes. I took her to my place and we drank. I was soo drank so was she. We kissed and kissed but whenever I tried to take off her pants to have sex with her she'd pushes my hands off. I tried on several occassions but she won't let me, although the kisses still continuous. She later asked me if I was trying to seduce her... and even went further to say if that is all I do. I told her no. Anyway, at about 12:00, she asked me to take her home. I don't think she was happy after our encounter. I though of maybe calling her and apologise to what happened, thus for trying to have sex with her when she did not want to. Is it a good idea to call and apologize or just call and let not mention anything about what happened.

 

[MacAvoy]

You just ran into the ASD. I'm not an expert on how to get around it. Maybe someone else will be able to help you.

Try doing a search in the meantime. (ASD = Anti-slut defence)

 

[Colossus]

Girls dont want to be pressured, lied to, or judged in sexual matters. When you try go for broke on the first date with a girl you hardly know, the odds are not in your favor. No girl wants to be used for sex. Some girls use sex as a vehicle for attention, which all women crave, but nobody wants to be used. This is essentially what you convey to her by repeatedly going for her pants. I know, Ive done it...we've all done it. I cant blame you for trying, but Id say chill on this girl for now.

 

[amoka]

Girls dont want to be pressured, lied to, or judged in sexual matters. When you try go for broke on the first date with a girl you hardly know, the odds are not in your favor. No girl wants to be used for sex. Some girls use sex as a vehicle for attention, which all women crave, but nobody wants to be used. This is essentially what you convey to her by repeatedly going for her pants. I know, Ive done it...we've all done it. I cant blame you for trying, but Id say chill on this girl for now.

Thanks Colossus. I'll commit your advice in memory. Next time, I'll try not to presurize her. Do you think I have a chanse with her again? I called and talked to her yesturday and apologized for my behaviour. She was cool with it though but I don't know whether she was faking it or not. I just hope she'll give me another opportunity to redeem myself.

 

[Nighthawk]

Apologize for what? If anything she should be apologizing to you for being a c*ck-tease.

Seriously, she would have been insulted if you didn't try and escalate the situation, and is probably now disappointed that you feel the need to say sorry for your sex drive.

She just didn't want you to think she was easy, and that you respect her right to say no. If it was me I'd start teasing her about how she started something that I'm going to have to finish and she'd giggle and open her legs at the next opportunity.

You nearly banged this babe on the first night because you were confident and a man of action. Don't dilute that message by worrying whether you were too pushy. Unless a woman says 'seriously, stop it' or threatens to call the police it's all fun and games.

I guarantee that if you use the phrase 'dirty little ****-tease' she will be yours, but it takes balls. But balls are what women want, literally and metaphorically.

 

[amoka]

Apologize for what? If anything she should be apologizing to you for being a c*ck-tease.

Seriously, she would have been insulted if you didn't try and escalate the situation, and is probably now disappointed that you feel the need to say sorry for your sex drive.

She just didn't want you to think she was easy, and that you respect her right to say no. If it was me I'd start teasing her about how she started something that I'm going to have to finish and she'd giggle and open her legs at the next opportunity.

You nearly banged this babe on the first night because you were confident and a man of action. Don't dilute that message by worrying whether you were too pushy. Unless a woman says 'seriously, stop it' or threatens to call the police it's all fun and games.

I guarantee that if you use the phrase 'dirty little ****-tease' she will be yours, but it takes balls. But balls are what women want, literally and metaphorically.

Frankly, I like your approach on the matter. I should have told her something along this line when I called her yesterday. Well, I put the blame on alcohol.... I don't think it is a good idea to use your approach now.. it is too late. Next time I call her, I'll try as much as I could never to sound apologetic or anything. We plane on going to the movie after coming back from my trip. I just hope she still has the desire to go with me. Do you all have a suggestion the approach I must use to win her back?

 

[Desdinova]

The anti-slvt defense sucks when you encounter it. The trick is to avoid it from happening. Make her believe she's the one seducing you. You need to increase her attraction and make her wet without doing anything sexual. Let her be the one to initiate anything sexual. She just needs the emotional drive to do it.

Kiss her, make out with her, kiss her neck, and try taking baby steps into more sexual areas on her body. DO NOT remove her clothing on a first encounter. Let her do that. If anything, she'll probably remove yours first. If she starts putting up any resistance, take it as an indication to completely stop, but don't let it phase you. Start getting dressed and say "Allright, let's go watch some TV". She'll pull you back into bed because you've already begun to push her emotions toward sexual climax.

Her emotions are wanting you to finish what you've started, but her chick logic will occasionally kick in. Just go along with her chick logic. Her emotions (driven by her attraction and her aching pu55y) will override the logic and you'll end up back in bed.

Remember: with women, stong emotions will ALWAYS override logic. That's why women make stupid decisions.

 

[biker_gixxer]

She later asked me if I was trying to seduce her... and even went further to say if that is all I do. I told her no. Anyway, at about 12:00, she asked me to take her home. I don't think she was happy after our encounter.

You had a perfect opportunity but blew it bro. She wasn't upset because you tried to get into her pants, she was upset becuase you went about it the wrong way. She wanted to be seduced, she wanted to submit and give herself to you, but getting drunk and acting like a horny little teenager doesn't cut it.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Remember: with women, stong emotions will ALWAYS override logic. That's why women make stupid decisions.

Amen...

 

[Vulpine]

We tend to internalize that sort of rejection. No means no. What did I do wrong?

Rather than dwell on it, which is against the "don't try to rationalize women" logic, I've found a good way to handle it.

When the anti-slvt defenses come up as in this situation (with the physical hand stop at the pants versus a vocal "no"), I assume only one thing and don't think any more about it.

She was having her period.

It does two things:

1. Keeps my mindset positive, she want's it... just not right now.
2. Keeps me from over-analyzing, over-pressuring, etc. I keep my cool and don't make the situation worse.

Sometimes women are squeamish about telling you they're on the rag. I've also heard of it as being a test to see how you react. Either way, don't see it as a rejection and maintain your confidence. I agree with Desdinova's advice also, you can still proceed in most cases, but with a less direct approach.

 

[amoka]

Guys, I'm a little bit confused here. Some people say what I did was the best approache while others disaggree with my actions. What exactly would you have done in situation as such? Your honest openion please.

 

[Vulpine]

There's no one right way to deal with women amoka. We can theorize for days and days what COULD have happened. Don't over think this situation, you're fine. So she didn't want to put out the first night, no biggie. I only see one "mistake" that you are making. You are apologizing for your sexuality, and carrying on like you "lost" her. This "how can I win her back" idea is one you got from trying to hard to rationalize the situation. Stop thinking about it, that's all there is to it. There is no "recovery" because there is no loss, so don't apologize for someting that's not an issue. She's cool with it, according to you, so that's that. Assume the sale. You'll be screwing on the next date, that's all you have to know.

 

[Egoist]

op: listen to nighthawk and desdinova

oh and go read some gunwitch while you're at it.

 

[Egoist]

and yeah, whatever you do, DON'T APOLOGIZE!!!

you did nothing wrong.

 

[amoka]

and yeah, whatever you do, DON'T APOLOGIZE!!!

you did nothing wrong.

Well, thank. I already did apologized so I guess I must get over it and just move on like nothing happened. Thanks all.