1st date feedback

[Juanto]

I think you probably shouldn't have waited until the end to try to kiss her. It's better to warm her up and try to reach that point during the date rather than right at the end when you have time pressure, which can lead you to rush the process (plus she's already thinking of leaving at that point and therefore not so much in the mood).

She seems a bit argumentative and therefore low-interest. She's making up rules for you and putting obstacles in your path, which is what women do when they are not interested. When she meets a guy she wants to bang, she won't care how appropriate it is when he fingers her on the station platform.

I'd advise to avoid getting into arguments via text and just set up another date. Next time, escalate and try to make it happen during the date rather than waiting until right at the end.

for sure I agree with you, I’m not getting into an argument with her, nothing to be won there.
If I want to see her again, i haven’t yet decided about that

 

[Lookatu]

for sure I agree with you, I’m not getting into an argument with her, nothing to be won there.
If I want to see her again, i haven’t yet decided about that

Some here I guess are more persistent with silly girls. I for one am not and have a short fuse.
Do not waste your time with her! Be glad she showed her true colors early on.
Remember, you waste another opportunity on her and you may miss an opportunity elsewhere with someone else that's more inline with what you want. My $.02

 

[LucianoM]

You complianed about getting the cheek, that was a mistake. Compla8ning 8s never good. Also what kind of a date is getting one or two beers and going for a "walk"...a walk? wtf is that. Take her to a party, go smoke some weed, meet up with friends, etc. Show her a good time bro.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I never used to go in for the kiss on the first date with a quality woman. A ONS is a different story, but a higher quality woman will not want to kiss on date 1. She wants that token holding back going on, just enough to avoid feeling slutty. I used to always hold off till the second or even third date, just enough to get some mystery and excitement going in her.

I stress here that I’m talking about laying the groundwork for a relationship. If it’s about laying the pipe instead, then of course one must escalate quickly. But a higher class of woman WILL want to wait until the second or third date before kissing. If a man can be patient enough for that, then the token delay has been satisfied and it’s game on.

 

[Clamslammer]

Why are you getting into a back and forth with her about nonsense. When she said she could have spent more time together you should have told her "well next time we will make sure that happens " and left it at that. All this talk about getting the cheek tells her you do not know what you are doing and are butthurt.

Wait a week and see if she reaches out if she does set a date. If she doesn't reach and see set another date.

 

[BadBoy89]

Just as a add-on, she just wrote me that she has never kissed a guy on the 1st date, and if a guy is looking for something serious with a woman he also wouldn’t try to kiss a woman on a 1st date.

Can you believe this BS...

P.s. I’m 38, she is 35

A lot of women, when they reach mid 30s and haven’t married or have had kids, act like they are virgins. I’ve been out with several divorced women who act like they are still virgins. They need to convince themselves they are innocent and still desirable to men and act accordingly.

A man shouldn’t waste his time with a 35 year old women who doesn’t kiss on the first date. Its almost to the point a man shouldn’t waste his time with a 35 year old woman who doesn’t have sex on the first date.

 

[Juanto]

A lot of women, when they reach mid 30s and haven’t married or have had kids, act like they are virgins. I’ve been out with several divorced women who act like they are still virgins. They need to convince themselves they are innocent and still desirable to men and act accordingly.

A man shouldn’t waste his time with a 35 year old women who doesn’t kiss on the first date. Its almost to the point a man shouldn’t waste his time with a 35 year old woman who doesn’t have sex on the first date.

Good points.

 

[andreihaha]

OP the next couple of first dates you go on avoid the lean in on the first date and see if you get better reactions and 2nd dates.
The 2nd date is the pivot for true escalation

I'd argue that IF you met her before the date, you have to kiss her on the first date. Even as early as possible, after getting a signal from her.
I like to escalate fast, make my intentions clear. Even with women I haven't met before. It also sets a more enjoyable date, rather than making small talk for hours.

 

[Juanto]

I'd argue that IF you met her before the date, you have to kiss her on the first date. Even as early as possible, after getting a signal from her.
I like to escalate fast, make my intentions clear. Even with women I haven't met before. It also sets a more enjoyable date, rather than making small talk for hours.

This is of course a subject probably for hours of conversation, which is the age old question of either being direct and going for the kiss on the 1st date, or just chilling and holding back, waiting for the 2nd one to make a move.

Currently I am using the 1st approach, but its still up for debate which one suits each man better, I guess.

 

[dude99]

Just as a add-on, she just wrote me that she has never kissed a guy on the 1st date, and if a guy is looking for something serious with a woman he also wouldn’t try to kiss a woman on a 1st date.

Can you believe this BS...

P.s. I’m 38, she is 35

She is "justifying" herself already. Pay no attention. Just answer with "ok."

The cheek is them saying "no." Without using words. The cheek says " this will be on my terms not yours. You should have never brought up the fact that she gave you the cheek. Now she knows that bothers you.

To me, when a girl gives you the cheek, she blew it. Right there she is out. To me i will next her without a second thought. A girl who had given me the cheek gets no second chance. She gives you the cheek because she wants to be in control and wants you in her frame. She is trying to lead. No relationship succeeds when the woman tried to lead.

How i handled the cheek in the past was this. I would slowly lean in and 90 percent of the time the girl would reciprocate by leaning in and the kiss would happen. Usually a quick peck because it is the first date, but a kiss none the less. That right there tells you she has high interest. She will get asked out. She will get another date.

In the past when i have slowly leaned in and you see her head turn to give you the cheek, i slowly back off and extend my hand to shake her hand, smile and tell her to have a good night.

Then i would next them. No second date nothing. The couple of times this happened to me, it confused them sooo much they were blowing up my phone because i wasn't butt hurt, and i just moved on. I didn't do what every other guy that tried to date them did before me. I didn't chase them. I went and dated other women.

When a girl tries to control the frame and you don't let it happen it short circuits them.

 

[Juanto]

She is "justifying" herself already. Pay no attention. Just answer with "ok."

Did exactly this.

 

[2Rocky]

I want to set the tone early that I am a physically affectionate MAN. So I will ramp up eye contact and physical touch. Get the sexual tension up, up up...and when we have that "Finally we are alone" moment, usually she will enthusiastically return my kiss on the mouth. I don't wait until the end of the date to do it, but a cool reception to my kiss will probably cut the date short for me.

I've had many public kisses that seldom led to more physically. But ones stolen in a brief private moment in the middle of a date have a huge conversion to second dates, and physical escalation. During the date she should be giddy, and holding your arm, hugging you , laughing and smiling. A kiss is not something that comes from a planned progression. It is a spur of the moment emotional spike. in order to do that you have to create a chemistry, a connection. etc.

 

[Skyline]

Hi guys, wanted to get some feedback from you.

I had a 1st date last night, went out for a beer with her and did my usual stuff, a little bit of comfort building, flirting, and kino. She was receptive,and after the beer we went for a short walk. At the end of the walk, and before she got in the train to go home, I went for the kiss but she gave me the cheek. I carried on like it was nothing, said goodbye and went home.

After getting home, she messages me saying that there was a later train she could have caught, and that we could have spent more time together, to which I replied: "It depends, not if you shown me the cheek again

. As I told you, I find you attractive and im interested in exploring that, if you arent interested in that that´s fine, we each go our separate ways".
She replies" Im just getting to know you, did you want to kiss me?" (silly from her, of course she knows I did)
I said: "Yes, when we said goodbye"

And finally she wrote: " I dont think its appropriate when someone wants to kiss me right on a 1st date".

Basically I have 2 questions, where did I go wrong (if anywhere), and is this dead in the water. I feel that it is, but just wanted to get feedback from you.

She's unsure of you.

That last text was a sh*t test. She is definitely attracted to you but you don't have her convinced in some way(what PlayerHer_Man is accurate in that sense). You could have easily flipped the script and said something about date 2 and first kiss etc.. She finds your direct approach attractive but you need to draw it back to her level because she is giving you anti sl*t defense responses and actions.

I personally think she wants a relationship.

 

[Juanto]

I personally think she wants a relationship.

i think so too, she asked me several times what i was looking for, and always said "to meet new people, see if we click and take it from there, no pressure".

 

[Juanto]

Whas your opinion on this approach for a 1st date?