19 year old girl - can't really figure out.

[Styr]

I recently met a 19 year old girl (10 years younger than me), who - I assume(d) is into me. She has been chatting a lot - on her initative. I asked her out to a cafeteria once (she was very happy about it. Told me she did not have much time first, but we ended up staying for much longer), and after that she has held a few social events at her place, always inviting me, and re-asking if I am coming.

She is rather attractive and has no trouble attracting boys/men. She has confided with me about a few stalkers and why she found them unattractive in the first place.

Now the other part.

• 
  - Never has she hugged me, or had any major body contact.
  On the date she kept talking about herself, replying to all my questions - nothing bad really, as women are supposed to talk more anyway. Yet she practically never asked about me. She was interested, however when I took the initiative about talk myself.
  - She constantly talks about how she is meeting other men (at different events), dancing, and so on. Nothing intimate, though. Seems she is telling and showing that she is attractive?
  - She usually hugs the other male friends when they leave the social events. Not me. All of them are younger, though. Close to her age. Some are in relationships.

Now, I am not particularily interested in chasing her. First, she is a bit too young, and I am not a fan of chasing girls anyway. I am wondering, however, why she is behaving that way. She is very social and has no trouble meeting new people. Could it be that she is afraid about the age difference? Or am I just a friend? It has been too flirty at times, for that.

 

[nismo-4]

You are in the friendzone because your young ass princess is in another castle.

Age difference my ass. Don't you see all these mixed ass signals?! Low interest!!! Not sexually attracted! Sorry.

Case closed. Exit the courtroom.

 

[origin138]

You are in the friendzone because your young ass princess is in another castle.

Age difference my ass. Don't you see all these mixed ass signals?! Low interest!!! Not sexually attracted! Sorry.

Case closed. Exit the courtroom.

Nailed it. This is the ultimate display of friend zone behavior. Interested women don't talk about other dudes, they ask questions about you, and have no trouble conveying their interest. Interested women won't leave you scratching your head wondering "if". Interested women make their interest known. You are simply her little emotional tampon and narcissistic supply to feed her little woman ego which is a bottomless pit of insatiable need for validation and approval. You're simply her tool to make herself feel attractive, needed/wanted, and validated.

I know it sucks, and I've been there too before learning better. Just make this the LAST time you get stuck in this situation. Do yourself a favor, disappear on her ass and learn from this.

 

[Styr]

Thanks. I was ultimately thinking along the same lines.

 

[dasein]

I don't see this as pure friendzone, yet anyway. You've been too available and let her have the reins. With women like you describe and at that age, it's often a matter of being in the right place at the right time rather than any defined friendzone/nonfriendzone set in stone dynamic, older ones are different of course. Get her alone and start making clear that dealings with you are never a "given" and are male-female dealings on a sexual level or not at all. Don't be heavy handed in this, pouty or angry, just mischievous and flirty as if it's the most natural thing in the world because it is. You will find out real fast where things stand or if she has any real interest.

One trick that works for me is that even if I'm not in the mood, tired, distracted, whatever, when talking to a woman I have any interest in but haven't gotten with yet, I play a "we are f-cking" track in the background of my mind with full sound, motion etc. I believe this helps send subtle physical signals and get more response using that than just sitting there focusing entirely on the conversation or environment. YMMV.

Next time don't ask to a cafeteria!? but out at night alone doing something specific and interesting with you. No need to ever "chase" just ask a couple of times and write off after a couple nos or evaluate in person on dates after a yes. Good luck.

 

[Colossus]

I've found with younger girls (<23), the more irreverence you show them the better it will be for you. But it has to be real irreverence, not feigned. You gain this by realizing their value is fleeting and physical and yours is compounding and multifactorial.

First of all, they are in their prime and chasing them is fundamentally futile. Nothing dries up their pvssy faster than overtly expressed desire, at least in the "courtship" sense.

Second, it drives them CRAZY when they are attracted to you and you don't take them seriously. Their vaginas drip like a leaky faucet.

Lastly, and this goes with irreverence, don't take any girl in this age range seriously. They are not LTR material. Most of them have a constant dynamic flow of options and a huge flake factor. Like Dasein said, it's a lot about just being in the right place at the right time.

 

[HumbleNinja]

I recently met a 19 year old girl (10 years younger than me), who - I assume(d) is into me. She has been chatting a lot - on her initative. I asked her out to a cafeteria once (she was very happy about it. Told me she did not have much time first, but we ended up staying for much longer), and after that she has held a few social events at her place, always inviting me, and re-asking if I am coming.

She is rather attractive and has no trouble attracting boys/men. She has confided with me about a few stalkers and why she found them unattractive in the first place.

Now the other part.

• 
  - Never has she hugged me, or had any major body contact.
  On the date she kept talking about herself, replying to all my questions - nothing bad really, as women are supposed to talk more anyway. Yet she practically never asked about me. She was interested, however when I took the initiative about talk myself.
  - She constantly talks about how she is meeting other men (at different events), dancing, and so on. Nothing intimate, though. Seems she is telling and showing that she is attractive?
  - She usually hugs the other male friends when they leave the social events. Not me. All of them are younger, though. Close to her age. Some are in relationships.

Now, I am not particularily interested in chasing her. First, she is a bit too young, and I am not a fan of chasing girls anyway. I am wondering, however, why she is behaving that way. She is very social and has no trouble meeting new people. Could it be that she is afraid about the age difference? Or am I just a friend? It has been too flirty at times, for that.

She most likely is attracted to you though in a "safe" way. (No body contact, inviting you to her social events)

She most likely is afraid of the age difference being she hugs the guys in her age range but not you. (Peer pressure and thoughts people wil lthink if she hugs the older guy. Dudes her age will get jealous and talk sh1t about her.)

You need to cut to the chase next time you talk to her. Since she likes to talk about herself and you aren't sure if she really wants you ask her:

So (chick) do you like older guys? Why?

Have you ever dated an older guy? How old? If so how'd it go?

Have you ever kissed an older guy? How much older?

Start probing for her thoughts/feelings on older dudes to get a possible guage on how she feels about you in a roundabout way. If signs look positive then tell her your "positives" and "negatives" on younger chicks.

If things look "good" then go from there. Most all younger chicks no fvck all about what they want. She may just get off on the fact she's talking to an older dude but wants nothing more than that. If so just be less available, meet other chicks, cut phone calls short and see if she chases you a bit more. If not drop it.

Don't go to anymore of her social events. She can either go out with you on her own or keep it moving.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Collossus,
That Post of yours is the most profound observation on the almost childlike mind of an under 23 I have ever read...Having had many many young lovers in my past,and more importantly having journeyed with two daughters through these difficult years I agree with every word you wrote down...Sadly it will go over the heads of many!

 

[Colossus]

Thanks Scara!

 

[scrouds]

Make a move brother. You'll have your answer very quickly, one way or another.

She might be pulling you into orbit, she might be interested. You don't know. We don't know. Go after it. She could shut you down, or she could jump on it. Go find out which one it is.