18 years old girl...

[pyros]

I met this 18 years old like a month ago in a salsa event. I asked her to dance and I noticed that she knew little. After this I talked to her for 15 minutes or so, so I asked for her number but she replied:
her: "err...well, I'd like to meet you but with more people also..."
me: "more people? hmmm...nope, not possible lol."

So I decided not to get her number. Then I talked to her for 5 more minutes in a nice funy way like it did not bother me her 'rejection' and left.

Next week I saw her in the same salsa event, so I said hello, talked to her for 5 minutes and went to dance with other girls. I noticed that she was staring at me while I danced with other girls, and a few times she moved closer to where I was standing, she kind of 'followed' me around.

I added her on facebook.

Next week same thing, I saw her, danced one song with her, talked to her for some minutes teasing her etc.

Next week, here it comes the important stuff, I bumped into her in a club by chance. She saw me, came to say hello etc. She was a bit drunk. Then we talked for a while eventhough her female friends were dancing in a different spot. Sometimes I run out of words, but she kept by my side. Then I started to kino escalate. I caressed her back, grabbed her hand, touched her hair...whisppered in her ear etc.

Since she did not mind this, I gave her a small kiss on her neck, then I gave her a few more but when I went for the lips she gave me the cheek. I teased her and told her that she should not play hard to get cause I get bored easily.
I kept doing the same things...pulling her against my chest etc, touching her hair...I gave her a kiss on her shoulder and again on her neck, but I went for the lips and she gave me the cheek again. This happened three times. And trust me , the last two times I grabbed her head but she gave me the cheek anyway.

After this I said that I had to go and then her friends came to ask her if she was gonna stay with me or leave with them, but I said that I was already leaving. Then I think she said something about meeting me in another occasion but I did not hear her very well.


Now, I was planning on asking her out sometime this week...but Im not very sure if she'll agree...she is too young, she's 18 and Im 28. She asked me several times during the night how old I was and in the end I told her that I was 26. I think she does not really like the age difference.

Tips? opinions?

 

[bcollarmechanic]

how old do you look?

im 24 going on 25 but when im freshly shaved i can easily pass off as a 21 year old and if i meet a younger girl like 18 or 19 i usually deduct a few years off

you already told her you're 26 which is fine, shes probably a little uncomfortable with the age difference which is not uncommon

invite her out on a one on one date like coffee or ice cream, that way she can get to know you and get more comfortable with you

 

[Alvafe]

you guys give too much weight on age, remember you being older means nothing as long you can pull, you try and she dodge, don't bother asking her out, if like you said she was had a little drink and still dodge, she is not interested, move on, you did right on the first in ignoring her "rejection", but then had to put her on facebook

guys remember never put new girls on your face, if they ask tell then they need to be worth of such thing and she is not doing anything for that, or tell her its just for close friends and keep all things for friends only, woman will search for it and your little "lie" about age if is there she should already know your age and just wanted to see what you would answers

so a DLDR she is not interested she wanted to play a little or was ondering why you are not after her, you did your part she didn't, get another

 

[pyros]

she cannot check my age cause I hid it, and my date of firth too.

Yeah, I'm thinking that if when she was a bit drunk she did not even want to get kissed...if she's sober it should be more difficult.

Anyway, I am not nexting her yet. I've seen a couple of similar situations with some friends: Guy tries to make out with a girl he knows in a club, she grinds, let him caress her etc, but she doesnt let him kiss her. After a few days, same situation happens and they do make out...end up having sex a few days later etc.

I'll ask her out and see what happens...

 

[Lotus Effect]

It is amazing how things are.

I am 26, and I'm going out with a 18 year old chick for some weeks now!

Also, the DJ newsletter was strikingly usefull for me today, and I guess in your situation as well. So I'm doing you the favor of posting here what the mystery man, Allen Thompson, sent us today

____________
THE KISS OF DEATH WITH WOMEN
by Allen Thompson


You've met the most incredible girl...

You don't really know her, but you're pretty sure she's a Goddess... sent straight from Heaven... in jeans.

You exchanged glances in Chemistry, had a few brief conversations after class, and even bumped into her at the mall. (Talk about fate!)

You KNOW you want her. There's no doubt about it. The question now becomes, "Does she want you?"

She smiles at you... but is it a friendly or a flirtatious smile? You saw her leave with another guy after class... was he her boyfriend? She flirted with you last week, even touched your shoulder... then completely ignored you the other day. Does she like you?

How can you tell? You really need to know this before you begin the "pursuit" don't you?

Perhaps the most common question posed on the SoSuave Discussion Forum concerns "reading women" and trying to figure out whether they like you or not. The poster usually describes his situation, what he did, what she did, and then asks, "Does this mean she likes me?" Or, "Does this mean she doesn't like me?"

Definitely a popular question. Definitely a question in need of an answer.

Okay, here's the best answer you're going to get and what you need to remember... always...

Obsessing about a particular girl, and whether or not she likes you, is the DON JUAN KISS OF DEATH!

If you're worrying about whether a girl likes you or not, chances are she doesn't - or rather, SHE WON'T. She won't because your "worry" and your "obsession" with what she thinks of you will actually push her away.

Let me try to explain.

When you let yourself fall into the "obsession" trap, you begin to analyze everything your dream girl does, every word she says, every move she makes... and try to relate them all to you!

She smiled at you - she didn't smile at you. She emailed you - she didn't email you. She returned your call - she didn't return your call. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety result.

This obsession with her behaviors and their meanings will paralyze you, confuse you, and suck every ounce of confidence you have from your body. You will become a Blithering Blob of Insecurity. And women, in general, are not attracted to Blithering Blobs of Insecurity.

So are you wrong to be confused by women?

NO! Absolutely NO!

Women ARE confusing. Always have been and always will be. That's just the way they are.

Especially when it comes to romance, women seem totally inconsistent in their behaviors. One minute you're convinced you're the man of her dreams, and the next she seems to be unaware of your existence. One minute she's flirting, and smiling, and rubbing up against you, and the next minute she's gone, left without even saying "bye." You SHOULD be frustrated and confused!

Now, no one knows exactly why women give off such mixed signals and deliberately, it seems, attempt to confuse us. Some suspect it's those magazines they read. Others think it has to do with the secret bathroom conferences they hold. Still others propose that their illogical behaviors are due to the wacky hormones they have surging throughout their bodies. The cause is relatively unimportant. You just have to accept it, and plot your strategy to deal with it.

So, given the inconsistencies of female romantic behavior, attempting to "read" women and figure out what they're thinking, is, at best, an incredibly frustrating experience. So don't do it. Don't even attempt it.

Just say NO to "reading" women!

Okay... well... if you don't really try to "read" women to determine whether they like you or not, then what do you do? What's your strategy? After all, they may be confusing, illogical, and somewhat annoying, but you still wanna get you one.

Simple...

If you're attracted to a girl, then just ASSUME she's attracted to you too. And ACT ACCORDINGLY!

Assume that she likes you and would like to get to know you better. Assume that she's physically attracted to you. Assume that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to attract such a lady, no matter how incredible she seems.

Assume the positive... always the positive. Assuming the negative will kill any chances you might have with her. (Pessimists, my friend, are not "chick magnets.")

Now there are many exciting benefits of adopting this attitude of assuming that women you like also like you... and treating them accordingly.

For one, if you refuse to obsess about all the little "signs" she's giving you, whether they be good signs or bad signs, you will feel more relaxed, calm, and confident. You won't be "up" one minute because she smiled at you, and "down" the next because she also smiled at some other guy.

Attempting to "read" her will only lead to confusion, frustration, and anxiety. And this will make you more tense when she's around, and thus, less likely to be the charming, charismatic Don Juan that you'd like to be.

And you also won't be wasting your time trying to figure out what she's thinking... trying to figure out what every little move means... and where you stand. You'll be able to devote your "mental time" to something more useful and productive.

Secondly, if you just assume that she likes you, then you will actually increase the probability that she eventually WILL like you. This is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy, and is a well-documented phenomenon in psychological research.

Basically what this means is that if you have a "she likes me" attitude, then you'll project positive, optimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll pick up on these and ... like you.

If, on the other hand, you have a "she doesn't like me" attitude, you'll project negative, pessimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll, likewise, pick up on these and ... not like you.

And if you have a "does she like me" attitude, then you'll project tense, anxiety-ridden behaviors and thoughts that will decrease the probability of her liking you... or she may even find being around you to be an "uncomfortable" experience. (Isn't it easier to relax around people who are relaxed themselves?)

And third, the attitude of just assuming that she likes you, rather than worrying about whether she does or not, allows you to maintain control of the situation... and yourself.

If you are obsessing about the "signs" and allow the "signs" to control your behaviors, thoughts, and emotions, then you have basically given her complete control of the situation. And complete control over you.

If she's "good" to you, you're happy. If she's "bad" to you, you're sad. If she wants to encourage you, she can throw out a few positive signals. If she wants to discourage you, she can throw out a few negative signals. You're happiness is basically under her control... whether she knows it or not.

Not the position that a "Don Juan" likes to be in. Not the position that you want to be in.

However, if you just assume that she likes you and treat her accordingly, and refuse to be controlled by all the little signs (especially the bad ones), you take charge of the situation. You have decided that you like her. And you have decided that she likes you... or will like you when she gets to know you better. And you act accordingly.

You exude confidence. You're relaxed. And you project that "aura" that every budding Don Juan searches for. (The poor girl won't stand a chance up against that aura!)

Okay, so you agree that obsessing about a particular girl and whether or not she likes you is not in your best interest. It will turn you into a Blithering Blob of Insecurity, decrease the probability that she will like you, and give her complete control over your happiness.

So what do you do when those thoughts start to take over your mind? I mean, after all, she is a Goddess, right?

Here's one simple little mental trick that might help you.

Whenever the obsessive "does she like me" thoughts start to take over your mind, even if they're the "good" ones, mentally grab them with your hands, throw them down on the floor, and step on them. Then remind yourself that obsessing about her is not in your best interest, that it will suck away your confidence, and actually decrease the probability that you'll eventually get her.

At this point you want to take a deep breath... smile... laugh... and think to yourself...

"I should send that Allen guy a few bucks."

Allen Thompson
[email protected]
http://www.sosuave.com


_______________


Cheers Mate!

 

[pyros]

Hi Lotus Effect.

Thanks for posting, but I am not obsessed about her. She clearly likes me, at least a bit. She is too young and this could be a obstacle for her. Besides, I guess she's inexperienced...but who knows.

Anyway, as I said, Ill ask her out. If she agrees good for her, if she doesnt, well, no problem.


For that girl of yours, did she have any problem with your age?

 

[Lotus Effect]

No worries mate!

It is a good read though. Don't stick to the obssession part. Pay attention to what you have to do to be chilled around her!

Cheers!

 

[JohnChops]

how old do you look?

im 24 going on 25 but when im freshly shaved i can easily pass off as a 21 year old and if i meet a younger girl like 18 or 19 i usually deduct a few years off

you already told her you're 26 which is fine, shes probably a little uncomfortable with the age difference which is not uncommon

invite her out on a one on one date like coffee or ice cream, that way she can get to know you and get more comfortable with you

join the club, im 21, look like im 16. I dont mind that though, girls love pinching these baby cheeks

 

[Skyline]

Honestly, you were awesome in those situations that involved you caressing/kissing her and all that. That's the stuff I like to see/hear! That's the sign of someone being smooth and confident with their sexuality!

As for the question of asking her out... I would go ghost on her. Think about it. You gave her all of this attention, kissed her cheek floated around her and all that, so now she pretty knows you're interested. She's most likely going to be expecting you to ask her out some time soon. So, don't! Wait for HER to come and casually talk to you and THEN re-escalate into asking her out. During that period of going ghost her head is obviously going to spin in confusion. A true DJ will pursue other options and leave women wondering why they aren't being asked out after all that escalation etc... This is also known as patience! That post that Lotus Effect pasted is basically patience/discipline!

Trust me when you get a woman interested, especially in a really smooth way like that, she WILL come around.

And she's not TOO young she IS young. Too young is like 16 or 17- not even legal status. She would be "barely legal," like me .