RyKnOw
Senior Don Juan
These commandments here are for our saftey,happiness,and sanity! read them
1- Thou shalt not say "I love you"
When it comes down to it, this is your real ace in the hole. There is virtually no jam that these three words cannot get you out of if used correctly. Plus, don't be the first to say it unless it's absolutely necessary, this way you can save the phrase until the time is right.
2- Thou shalt not pay for everything
Let her treat every once in a while (she should volunteer to), save a few bucks, and then you can do something special. But keep in mind that it is customary to pay if you were the one who asked her out.
3- Thou shalt leave the past behind
Don't spend too much time talking about ex-girlfriends. And, if you decide to take her back to your place, make sure to get rid of any incriminating evidence. For example, don't just throw out those Polaroids you took; burn them and feed the ashes to your neighbor's dog.
4- Thou shalt keep relationship George and independent George separate
If Seinfeld taught us anything, it's that bad things happen when social worlds collide. You don't want to ruin any of your current relationships by trying to intermingle the two; it can't lead to anything good.
5- Thou shalt wear the pants in the relationship
Don't lose the control that you struggled so hard to achieve. Come out of the gate strong and stay that way. Once you let her have the reigns, believe you me, it's all downhill...
6- Thou shalt watch her eating habits
Keep an eye on her portions when eating out and turn away the dessert cart when she goes to the bathroom. If you can keep her from gaining those unwanted pounds, then you won't have to buy her a treadmill for her birthday.
7- Thou shalt seek sex at every possible opportunity
"They" say that we think about it every six seconds. So if it's always on our minds, we might as well act on it. Plus, if you get her used to it early on in the relationship, then she might not complain about your insatiable appetite later.
8- Thou shalt sign a prenuptial agreement
Get financial and other issues out of the way before you tie the knot and set your mind at ease beforehand. So if she decides to get wild with the postman, you don't have to worry.
9- Thou shalt not treat her like your mother
Don't get the women in your life confused. Your mom made you breakfast and washed your unmentionables. Your woman is there for emotional support and sweet lovemaking.
10- Thou shalt not ditch your friends
Your buddies were around before she came into your life and you wouldn't be too happy if they deserted you for a skirt. Plus, who is going to take you to the strip club to cheer you up if she breaks your heart?
11- Thou shalt not change who you are
If she wasn't happy with who you were when you met, then she should have split then. Plus, no matter how much of a pig you are, there's always someone who will be into you.
12- Thou shalt not try to change her
Same applies to you. If there are things about her that you know will get on your nerves in a short while, get rid of her and find someone you can be happy with.
13- Thou shalt not flirt with other women in front of her
As a general rule of thumb, before you flirt with another woman, make sure you are in another area code. And, if you do talk about other women, make sure they "don't compare to you, honey." There are some lies women simply thrive on.
14- Thou shalt not speak of money
She doesn't need to know what your pay stub looks like until you are good and ready. Keeping your finances under wraps will help you figure out if she's a gold digger. This way you'll figure out if she actually likes you.
15- Thou shalt not kiss too much butt
Stay strong but let her know you love her in subtle ways. Compliment her every once in a while and make the occasional compromise, but don't turn into a sniveling worm. Keep your priorities balanced and all will be well.
keep it simple, romeo
Referring to these simple tips will help make your relationship easier than you ever imagined. Remember not to take things too far though. It's good to use tips to keep yourself out of trouble, but you have to be willing to adapt yourself and these commandments to any given situation as needed.
Use them as a template when mapping the direction of your love life and above all else, be (for the most part) honest with her. Because although taking dating advice makes things easier, if you don't add a little excitement to the mix, life will just get boring.
1- Thou shalt not say "I love you"
When it comes down to it, this is your real ace in the hole. There is virtually no jam that these three words cannot get you out of if used correctly. Plus, don't be the first to say it unless it's absolutely necessary, this way you can save the phrase until the time is right.
2- Thou shalt not pay for everything
Let her treat every once in a while (she should volunteer to), save a few bucks, and then you can do something special. But keep in mind that it is customary to pay if you were the one who asked her out.
3- Thou shalt leave the past behind
Don't spend too much time talking about ex-girlfriends. And, if you decide to take her back to your place, make sure to get rid of any incriminating evidence. For example, don't just throw out those Polaroids you took; burn them and feed the ashes to your neighbor's dog.
4- Thou shalt keep relationship George and independent George separate
If Seinfeld taught us anything, it's that bad things happen when social worlds collide. You don't want to ruin any of your current relationships by trying to intermingle the two; it can't lead to anything good.
5- Thou shalt wear the pants in the relationship
Don't lose the control that you struggled so hard to achieve. Come out of the gate strong and stay that way. Once you let her have the reigns, believe you me, it's all downhill...
6- Thou shalt watch her eating habits
Keep an eye on her portions when eating out and turn away the dessert cart when she goes to the bathroom. If you can keep her from gaining those unwanted pounds, then you won't have to buy her a treadmill for her birthday.
7- Thou shalt seek sex at every possible opportunity
"They" say that we think about it every six seconds. So if it's always on our minds, we might as well act on it. Plus, if you get her used to it early on in the relationship, then she might not complain about your insatiable appetite later.
8- Thou shalt sign a prenuptial agreement
Get financial and other issues out of the way before you tie the knot and set your mind at ease beforehand. So if she decides to get wild with the postman, you don't have to worry.
9- Thou shalt not treat her like your mother
Don't get the women in your life confused. Your mom made you breakfast and washed your unmentionables. Your woman is there for emotional support and sweet lovemaking.
10- Thou shalt not ditch your friends
Your buddies were around before she came into your life and you wouldn't be too happy if they deserted you for a skirt. Plus, who is going to take you to the strip club to cheer you up if she breaks your heart?
11- Thou shalt not change who you are
If she wasn't happy with who you were when you met, then she should have split then. Plus, no matter how much of a pig you are, there's always someone who will be into you.
12- Thou shalt not try to change her
Same applies to you. If there are things about her that you know will get on your nerves in a short while, get rid of her and find someone you can be happy with.
13- Thou shalt not flirt with other women in front of her
As a general rule of thumb, before you flirt with another woman, make sure you are in another area code. And, if you do talk about other women, make sure they "don't compare to you, honey." There are some lies women simply thrive on.
14- Thou shalt not speak of money
She doesn't need to know what your pay stub looks like until you are good and ready. Keeping your finances under wraps will help you figure out if she's a gold digger. This way you'll figure out if she actually likes you.
15- Thou shalt not kiss too much butt
Stay strong but let her know you love her in subtle ways. Compliment her every once in a while and make the occasional compromise, but don't turn into a sniveling worm. Keep your priorities balanced and all will be well.
keep it simple, romeo
Referring to these simple tips will help make your relationship easier than you ever imagined. Remember not to take things too far though. It's good to use tips to keep yourself out of trouble, but you have to be willing to adapt yourself and these commandments to any given situation as needed.
Use them as a template when mapping the direction of your love life and above all else, be (for the most part) honest with her. Because although taking dating advice makes things easier, if you don't add a little excitement to the mix, life will just get boring.
