"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

12-step programs, looking for understanding

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
2,234
Reaction score
2,821
Age
48
Hi all, this is a post out of curiosity.

I have become friends with at least a few people in life who have gone thru 12 step programs to kick some kind of drug or alcohol addiction. But it seems that the 12 step program becomes an addiction onto itself that replaces the drug of choice, and ex-addicts can never seem to shed the label of addict. People will attend local 12-step meetings even when they travel to other cities.

I understand that the 12-step program is way better than the swath of destruction most addicts will leave if they continue abusing their substance of choice, but at the same time it seems to limit the participants to a self-deprecating attitude which doesn't make sense to me.

Anyone care to share on this topic?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
3,242
Reaction score
3,400
i have done 12 steps, ill try and explain, the problem the addict has is exactly the same as the problem sosuave members have,

ie: 4 weeks without their ex(drug/beer) and they looking on the past through "Rose tinted glasses"

Pining for the good times, ....that romance is playing through their head, they may not accept their new life, the addict in them will convince them its boring ,....3 nights in your exes company will show you how toxic you still are, but you dont think of that

now heres the next problem, your sexy idea of your ex is now in every shop on every street corner , condensation running down the pint glass or can on a hot summers day...you cant even go No Contact with beer

12 steps becomes a ritual , because over a billion questions you realise what a ****y scum bag you was destroying those you loved, and your own health/wealth......it literally becomes a ritual to repulse you

its been proven when you become complacent you start to think youve "got this"....you havent "its got you"

hope that helps
 

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
2,234
Reaction score
2,821
Age
48
That does make a lot of sense actually. thanks!
 
Top