100 Approaches Per Month

[addicted2money]

Some would say this is stupid, I would say it's essential for overcoming social awkwardness. I'm sure I'm not the only one. It's not just awkwardness around women, but everyone. I don't get out as much as I should, but even when I do get out, I don't talk with people unless I really have to.

This week I have a really crucial interview, and I'm afraid I'll be nervous, which typically leads me to getting red in the face. Actually, I get red in the face a lot lately, feeling like people are staring at me. I know it's just a symptom of becoming less and less comfortable in social situations. Anyway, I'm starting to realize the value of being social but I need some a reminder or an obligation. It's my ego that stops me more often than not, but at the same time, an ongoing thread like this will get my ego to enjoy sticking to the goal, both through feedback/encouragement and potential loss of reputation by not doing it.

So I will speak to 100 strangers per month. Women, men, children, senior citizens, babies, whatever. Anyone who is not someone who I have to talk to (ie the store, cafe, school). I will also make note of extra participation in my typical day-to-day activities.

Eventually of course, the goal is to muster up the confidence to open hot women everywhere. But I'm going to start small. I read the bootcamp and other posts, but I think this is something better for me to jump into. If I start too slow I end up mentally masturbating and not getting anywhere, so I think this is the best thing for me.

Month 1: Conversations with 100 Strangers
Month 2: Conversations with 100 Ugly women
Month 3: Conversations with 100 Average women
Month 4: Conversations with 100 Hot Women

Feel free to chime in with advice, criticism, tips, etc. or add your own goals and join me in my adventure.

I'll post every day of the month, for the next 4 months. Wish me luck, and I appreciate all the encouragement and support I can get!

 

[Solomon]

Good luck

It might be hard doing this durning the day, but if you are in a busy area, you should be able to open 2-10 sets a day. Nights however are easier you can easily double that. But I think if you can master daygame then Nightgame is a breeze.

YOu have to open an average of 3.3 sets per day. This is fairly easy, however finding the time to do it, might be a challenge.

Good luck, you can do it I belive in you man!!

 

[addicted2money]

Thanks for your comments and support. I read the Tyler Durden article on habits, it was really good! I'll definitely need to keep pushing through the initial phase of it. In fact lately I've felt that way, like I'm making no progress, so I would pull back, but now I realize he's right I just need to be consistent and stick to it.

10/22: 3

Well yesterday I talked to 2 people. 1 was outside a classroom as we were both early and waiting to get in for a test. He actually started talking to me, but I would usually brush it off and ignore the person, knowing it would get me nervous. But instead this time I had a brief chat about the test, and so on. When another person showed up I got a tiny bit nervous but it wasn't too bad.

I don't know why but I keep getting this feeling like I'm getting stared at, but once I shake it, I'm fine for the most part. Before that conversation with a classmate I was sitting in a lab studying and this hot girl sat down beside me. I got red for about a minute but managed to focus on my studies again and was cool again.

Later after my test as I was just walking some dude was chaining his bike and smiled at me. I think he was gay, but I talked with him anyway for a few seconds and then we parted. Kind of weird, but good practice nonetheless.

Later at a club meeting of about 20 people I got there early and talked to the president for a couple minutes and I wasn't nervous but then as people started showing up I got really nervous. Then I got really red and had a fake coughing fit, and finally left.

Yeah, I have some issues, but I'm okay with face-to-face conversations, so I think as I put myself in these situations more it should help. It's all conditioning. I'm also going to try a speech club to see if that helps also.

 

[snowdog]

Good stuff man. Keep it up. If you have a normal life, 100 a month is perfectly possible!

 

[steve_erkle]

this is what i like to see man- people taking action. I myself have been doing some approaches and I can tell you, my life has gotten much better directly because of it. I feel a lot more comforatble socially and feel good about myself. Don't give up man.. I'll be reading this thread

 

[addicted2money]

mr_elor, you're right, what I'm trying to do is put myself into as many social situations as possible, regardless of anything. Even if I don't feel like going out, I'm doing this. I'm just tired of being away from social situations and the dating scene for so long. I've been there, so I know what I'm missing.

Thanks also snowdog and steve, I appreciate the positive feedback.

10/23

I had my interview yesterday and to be honest I was quite a bit nervous and didn't talk to many people.

10/24

I was feeling kind of confident, almost like buzzed coming off from yesterday's interview. Felt really confident at McDonald and greeted the same guy I talk to a lot - he's a manager now, good for him. Gave a homeless dude 50 cents and left.

Went to work for about 3 hours. I finally finished a task I'd been putting off for a while. Felt good, and for some reason I felt confident. Went to the grocery store and some hot blonde chick was buying cigs. The cashier told her to wait because I was returning something, so she walked behind me, and put her hand on my back. When I was returning my drinks she - this was obvious - she was standing about 3 feet away, but she steps in and stands really close to me and was like "why are you returning them? you just didn't want them?" and I said yeah, wow, she was really close and making solid eye contact with me for a few seconds, like almost asking for a kiss? But as I was signing the receipt I got a little red and nervous and she pulled back.

I went back to buy some juice, and as I walked out I saw her with the car hood open. Said her starter was broken or something. I asked what's wrong and if she needs a spark/jump. She slips in that her husband lives down the block yada yada and thanks but it's cool.

Wow though, I really think if I hadn't gotten nervous she was actually hitting on me - she was very hot too! But once I showed some weakness she mentions her husband. But still pretty flirty, that was weird.

Anyway it was a little ego boost, so it made me feel like going clubbing. I have to admit, I got high and had 2 coronas. But I still held back and was stiff at the club. Some cute girl came up to me and started dancing but for some reason I still held back.

I saw a few familiar faces. What's funny is I tried going for a few fatties and they seemed repulsed. But there was a cute Asian chick who was actually into me. But I just left because I already knew her.

Overall it was a good night of practice. Probably approached 4-5 girls. And even though it shouldn't count, I hadn't drank or gotten high in probably 1 year. And I think in a way, while it was fake confidence, it actually opens my mind to being that same way while sober. Because 1 year ago when I used to go clubbing and do that stuff, during the sober times I was like that too.

Not saying this will become a habit, but just saying I'm seeing it in a positive light.

 

[steve_erkle]

i feel the same way about drinking and smoking up from time to time- it really opens things up for you and puts things in perspective. when i'm buzzed/ slightly drunk my game is spot on so doing this occassionally shows me that my game is there- i just need to unleash it.

anyway, keep doing what you're doing. looking good

 

[addicted2money]

i feel the same way about drinking and smoking up from time to time- it really opens things up for you and puts things in perspective. when i'm buzzed/ slightly drunk my game is spot on so doing this occassionally shows me that my game is there- i just need to unleash it.

anyway, keep doing what you're doing. looking good

Thanks. Yeah totally, I felt like I was still buzzed today and it's Monday. For some reason Friday night set me on fire.

I think it was just that one Asian girl who was so into me. I think I could have taken her home that night, made a mistake of ejecting myself just because I actually knew her? We were in a group, and I was winging with a friend...really didn't know how to isolate her; it was closing time and I was too buzzed to drive.

Saturday I still felt somewhat buzzed, but Sunday night and even today I couldn't tell if I had come off it completely or not. So I just told myself, what's the difference, I can just act like I'm high because it's only a state of mind anyway.

10/27/08: 3

I had a test and got there early. There was a girl sitting and I just said "hi" and we started talking about the test. I didn't get an ounce of nervousness. Then later another guy walked in and I talked to him for a little bit too.

Throughout the day I felt really confident and made eye contact with a few girls just as I was walking. I think one thing I realized is that the reason for my feelings of 'anxiety' or low confidence in the past have been because too often I walk around over-thinking negative thoughts about myself, not being relaxed. I would walk and even spotting a girl walking in my direction from the distance would get me nervous/red, which is pathetic.

But today I just thought positive thoughts - I was so relaxed that night, what's the difference, right? Even when I had drank 4 shots of espresso, I was still perfectly chill.

Later on, at a cafe the third "approach" I asked a lady if I could unplug her laptop to plug mine in.

I'm getting a lot more comfortable already. I realize the less I "think" and the more I focus on feeling and perceiving body language, behavior, the more relaxed and comfortable I am around people.

 

[addicted2money]

Just to add it up, I'm at 11 "conversations with strangers" so far.

89 to go by 11/23.