backbreaker
Master Don Juan
10 years ago today, February 12th, 2005, I was coming down off a pretty bad / epic crack cocaine binge.. a good 2-3 days, a few thousand dollars, no sleep, after telling myself i would never do it again for the billionth time I was right back where I was. In a short 9 month span I had went from a recreational user who used once every few weeks to the guy whose dealer made morning house calls every day just to make sure i didn't need anything. I was depressed, angry, sad, lonely, fat, confused and hopeless.
When I ran out of dope, labout 8-9 in the morning, I drove to the Arkansas river and seriously considered jumping in it. I knew at that point I needed some help, some real help or else my life wasn't gonna end well. I called my oneitis and starting crying and told her I wanted to stop but i can't stop. That was the first time I had opened up to anyone instead of denying it. she knew. everyone knew. but they didn't "know" if that makes sense.
she met me at my house, flushed my stash and tools and drove me to the nearest rehab and made me check myself in. She even came to visit me once a week while I was there. For all the **** that girl put me through with us not dating / dating, she cared, which is why I never could get mad at her.
That was 10 years ago today and I have not used since. Today is my 10 year anny if being clean from crack cocaine. I drink and once in a blue moon smoke weed, but I mean "clean".
I know there are a few guys here that struggle with substance abuse, I get pm's often enough, man that **** is hell. Life gets better. At times now it just seems like a bad dream. My wife is throwing me a "birthday party" tonight and she had to explain to her friends what the party was for and no one believed her lol. No one knew I had a drug history. You can get there man.
Anyway I'm off to spend time with the family just wanted to say that.
When I ran out of dope, labout 8-9 in the morning, I drove to the Arkansas river and seriously considered jumping in it. I knew at that point I needed some help, some real help or else my life wasn't gonna end well. I called my oneitis and starting crying and told her I wanted to stop but i can't stop. That was the first time I had opened up to anyone instead of denying it. she knew. everyone knew. but they didn't "know" if that makes sense.
she met me at my house, flushed my stash and tools and drove me to the nearest rehab and made me check myself in. She even came to visit me once a week while I was there. For all the **** that girl put me through with us not dating / dating, she cared, which is why I never could get mad at her.
That was 10 years ago today and I have not used since. Today is my 10 year anny if being clean from crack cocaine. I drink and once in a blue moon smoke weed, but I mean "clean".
I know there are a few guys here that struggle with substance abuse, I get pm's often enough, man that **** is hell. Life gets better. At times now it just seems like a bad dream. My wife is throwing me a "birthday party" tonight and she had to explain to her friends what the party was for and no one believed her lol. No one knew I had a drug history. You can get there man.
Anyway I'm off to spend time with the family just wanted to say that.
