"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
10 things three years of poverty has taught me.
- Thread starter Warrior74
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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- Aug 6, 2009
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- 16,798
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I actually think that if you are looking to jerk a girl around emotionally, you could do some very AFC-type things with her, expressing a lot of emotion for her and such. This can get her thinking she has you. Then withdraw it. Then give her strong emotion again.Scormus said:
If you are just totally cool James Bond all the time, making sure never to show her any interest, then you're not really giving her emotions, or doing push-pull. You're just coming off as lukewarm, which is boring.
5. Poverty breeds poor choices. Be mindful.
Why do poor people smoke, or buy fast food, or have 3 or 4 baby mamas? Because when life is a grind, simple quick pleasures are all you think you'll get. You tend to think only about right now and not long term. It's hard to sit down and say to yourself, in a years time I will have a job making 35k. And in 3 years time I will make $100k and believe it. But it's easy to say, I got 20 bucks, lets go get some brews, yolo! I know that I can take that 20 bucks and put it in adwords to generate more money, or make up flyers to pass out and hustle up some cash. Or just save to build up my war chest. Long term thinking leads to better choices. Poverty does not lead to long term thinking.
This is the one thing I think that most people who are not in poverty don't get. You don't have to look very far at how choices are made. Just look at leaders and laggards for companies in a particular sector...let's say Google. If you are strapped for cash, are in the bottom 10% of companies competing against Google, the C-suite will be full of execs who are risk averse and will do anything to maintain the status quo (and get the low hanging fruit).
To add to what you said, you must think STRATEGICALLY. It will be absolutely stupid for a company 50th of the size to compete heads on with Google in every single category that Google excels at. However, if they can identify niche markets where Google has a disadvantage or does not have market presence that would be a much better strategy.
I see a lot of people here on this forum give sh*t to others for not following a tunnel-visioned "one-size-fits-all" strategy for finding "quality women" in America. That strategy is not for everyone. Look at your strengths and weaknesses and tailor your approaches in life and with women that increases your probability of success.
Why do poor people smoke, or buy fast food, or have 3 or 4 baby mamas? Because when life is a grind, simple quick pleasures are all you think you'll get. You tend to think only about right now and not long term. It's hard to sit down and say to yourself, in a years time I will have a job making 35k. And in 3 years time I will make $100k and believe it. But it's easy to say, I got 20 bucks, lets go get some brews, yolo! I know that I can take that 20 bucks and put it in adwords to generate more money, or make up flyers to pass out and hustle up some cash. Or just save to build up my war chest. Long term thinking leads to better choices. Poverty does not lead to long term thinking.
This is the one thing I think that most people who are not in poverty don't get. You don't have to look very far at how choices are made. Just look at leaders and laggards for companies in a particular sector...let's say Google. If you are strapped for cash, are in the bottom 10% of companies competing against Google, the C-suite will be full of execs who are risk averse and will do anything to maintain the status quo (and get the low hanging fruit).
To add to what you said, you must think STRATEGICALLY. It will be absolutely stupid for a company 50th of the size to compete heads on with Google in every single category that Google excels at. However, if they can identify niche markets where Google has a disadvantage or does not have market presence that would be a much better strategy.
I see a lot of people here on this forum give sh*t to others for not following a tunnel-visioned "one-size-fits-all" strategy for finding "quality women" in America. That strategy is not for everyone. Look at your strengths and weaknesses and tailor your approaches in life and with women that increases your probability of success.
LiveFreeX
Banned
The faster everyone learns this, the faster the economy can get back on track. Seems like alot of friends I have are caught up in the 'blame' game instead of just doing what is necessary to get by.
Should be
2. Bite the bullet and do what needs to be done
There are tons of oil jobs in America opening up right now, the work is hard and it sucks d1ck but it pays an absolute ton of money. So suck it up, get it done and next year you could be dropping your posts from a house that you own, in a decent part of town with a broad on your arm and a beer in the other.
Peaks&Valleys
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2013
- Messages
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Having to be under command of the disfunctional managers of the world has taken it's toll. The Warrior's his own man now, building his own business, blood sweat and tears. Working the 9 to 5 is not the path for the Warrior. Suckin up to managers is not his cup of tea.LiveFreeX said:
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Sal Ceech
Don Juan
Warrior ..I'll be photocopying this, I'm almost in the same boat.
LiveFreeX .. Absolutely!! ..Alberta and out west is the promised land. Its salvation for anyone who struggled with high school and being a misfit in some jobs.I hope by next year ... I will be in the circumstance to send a pic as you outlined...
LiveFreeX .. Absolutely!! ..Alberta and out west is the promised land. Its salvation for anyone who struggled with high school and being a misfit in some jobs.I hope by next year ... I will be in the circumstance to send a pic as you outlined...
LiveFreeX
Banned
I'd rather work a sh1tty job for a year and be able to live without worry for a few years while trying to get my business off the ground then go hungry while making tons of mistakes. Yeah sucking up to managers sucks but eating mac and cheese for a year also sucks, I've been there too.
Marketing 101: The avoidance of pain and the pursuit of pleasure. Society is inherently selfish and if you want to get a potential client or customer to respond you have to push those buttons and be sure to let them feel it. In the western world when one decides to make a purchase it is usually out of emotions. It's a marketing concept that's been around for many years and it works. I couldn't agree with you more.Warrior74 said:
I know exactly what it's like to go through poverty and poor living conditions. I'm still recovering from that right now. The long periods of isolation really put things into perspective for me and most of what you said here has truly resonated with me. One of the first things to disappear were my friends. I could care less about women but losing my entire social infrastructure was rather callous. I haven't heard from a single one of these bastards since the fall of 2012 but at least now I know where they stand and that I'm the only person I should really be depending on. It's every man for himself.
The past few holiday seasons were unforgivable. I got severely depressed both times and they made me physically sick. This year I am going to change that all around. My plans are to live a happy life and for some odd reason it no longer includes women.
looking back after making this post i realize that I'm tired. I've run out of steam.
#1, #2, 2nd #4 and #5 are what I am dealing with right now. While I see the trap and understand it, I'm unable to get out of it. Right now I'm just mentally exhausted. I have let clients slip, I've lost clients I've become a bad friend and relative, I've gone into a very negative headspace and I've been a hermit for quite some time. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs and I'm burned out on working.
On the flip side, I shot a music video, met a bunch of cute 20-25 year olds and got asked to photograph a swim suit line and go on a beach trip. I should say no, but who knows what opportunities it might lead to?
It's madding. I have a job and I'm stuck in making just enough to survive. I'm going to be honest, at the end of the day I'm exhausted and have no desire to do anything else. I feel completely burned out. I hate everyone.
I realize that I'm repeating myself. My friends say I need a vacation, but of course I can't afford one. I can't stop treading water or I'll sink. I am seriously considering the following options :
1.Chucking my life and going rouge in another country(right, like I can afford it I have zero dollars to my name),
2. just killing myself to end the tedium (always an option).
3. Become a criminal (It's kinda late in the day for that one).
4. Find a new job and leave town. (possible)
5. Revitalize my side business. (freaking tired, don't wanna).
Who knows. I'll keep you posted.
#1, #2, 2nd #4 and #5 are what I am dealing with right now. While I see the trap and understand it, I'm unable to get out of it. Right now I'm just mentally exhausted. I have let clients slip, I've lost clients I've become a bad friend and relative, I've gone into a very negative headspace and I've been a hermit for quite some time. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs and I'm burned out on working.
On the flip side, I shot a music video, met a bunch of cute 20-25 year olds and got asked to photograph a swim suit line and go on a beach trip. I should say no, but who knows what opportunities it might lead to?
It's madding. I have a job and I'm stuck in making just enough to survive. I'm going to be honest, at the end of the day I'm exhausted and have no desire to do anything else. I feel completely burned out. I hate everyone.
I realize that I'm repeating myself. My friends say I need a vacation, but of course I can't afford one. I can't stop treading water or I'll sink. I am seriously considering the following options :
1.Chucking my life and going rouge in another country(right, like I can afford it I have zero dollars to my name),
2. just killing myself to end the tedium (always an option).
3. Become a criminal (It's kinda late in the day for that one).
4. Find a new job and leave town. (possible)
5. Revitalize my side business. (freaking tired, don't wanna).
Who knows. I'll keep you posted.
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backbreaker
Master Don Juan
the trick is finding a way to keep yourself motivated in light of so many setbacks. It's hard. That's why I know people who say **** like, "never spend money on frivolous things in your business" have never actually started a business. If I didn't have things like a gamecube or Friday night bowling night for myself lol i would have probably off'ed myself.
think of it like this. starting a business, is alot like gaming a woman, only 5x harder. It's the same logic, just magnified.
Your business is your oneitis. You're giving it all your time. Yet she's put you in the friendzone lol. You keep trying, you spend all day, all night, trying to get that girl to give that **** up, and she just gets more elusive. She keeps giving you more excuses... you have to work harder. I don't' think you are ready to handle me. You don't have enough experience. You don't have enough money. Yet you keep doing these things and she never gives that **** up.
The turning point in my business was when we started getting enough money to where I could have some semblance of a social life. I'm not even talking about, every night going out. I mean, i could go out on a friday, i could take off on Saturdays so i could do stuff. I could go meet friends at barnes and noble and actually buy coffee lol. I actually had a decent enough wardrobe to go out in public.
take a break. work on being more balanced. work hard, but play as well. you're AFCing your business right now. It will come. Just hang in there.
think of it like this. starting a business, is alot like gaming a woman, only 5x harder. It's the same logic, just magnified.
Your business is your oneitis. You're giving it all your time. Yet she's put you in the friendzone lol. You keep trying, you spend all day, all night, trying to get that girl to give that **** up, and she just gets more elusive. She keeps giving you more excuses... you have to work harder. I don't' think you are ready to handle me. You don't have enough experience. You don't have enough money. Yet you keep doing these things and she never gives that **** up.
The turning point in my business was when we started getting enough money to where I could have some semblance of a social life. I'm not even talking about, every night going out. I mean, i could go out on a friday, i could take off on Saturdays so i could do stuff. I could go meet friends at barnes and noble and actually buy coffee lol. I actually had a decent enough wardrobe to go out in public.
take a break. work on being more balanced. work hard, but play as well. you're AFCing your business right now. It will come. Just hang in there.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
work hard, but play as well
There was a recent study about the success of workaholics. Previous research had all yielded the obvious conclusion that workaholics get ahead, simply because they work so much.
But all of that research was short-term. In the first long-term research that followed workaholics for 20+ years, it was discovered that their gains are only temporary. After enough time working so much, they tended to develop health problems that affected their ability to work. The non-workaholics caught up to them in career earnings, and went on to end up doing better overall. The race is not to the swift.
There was a recent study about the success of workaholics. Previous research had all yielded the obvious conclusion that workaholics get ahead, simply because they work so much.
But all of that research was short-term. In the first long-term research that followed workaholics for 20+ years, it was discovered that their gains are only temporary. After enough time working so much, they tended to develop health problems that affected their ability to work. The non-workaholics caught up to them in career earnings, and went on to end up doing better overall. The race is not to the swift.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Bible Belt lol,
that's so true. it was nohting for me to work 70-80 hour weeks when we took off. i soon developed a cocaine problem which turned into a crack cocaine problem lol. i also gained like 50 pounds.
honestly though considering how successful we were i would take that tradeoff.
now i mean iwork 6 days a week usually but i never work more than 50-55 hours a week.
that's so true. it was nohting for me to work 70-80 hour weeks when we took off. i soon developed a cocaine problem which turned into a crack cocaine problem lol. i also gained like 50 pounds.
honestly though considering how successful we were i would take that tradeoff.
now i mean iwork 6 days a week usually but i never work more than 50-55 hours a week.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Bible Belt lol,
that's so true. it was nohting for me to work 70-80 hour weeks when we took off. i soon developed a cocaine problem which turned into a crack cocaine problem lol. i also gained like 50 pounds.
honestly though considering how successful we were i would take that tradeoff.
now i mean iwork 6 days a week usually but i never work more than 50-55 hours a week.
that's so true. it was nohting for me to work 70-80 hour weeks when we took off. i soon developed a cocaine problem which turned into a crack cocaine problem lol. i also gained like 50 pounds.
honestly though considering how successful we were i would take that tradeoff.
now i mean iwork 6 days a week usually but i never work more than 50-55 hours a week.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Bible Belt lol,
that's so true. it was nohting for me to work 70-80 hour weeks when we took off. i soon developed a cocaine problem which turned into a crack cocaine problem lol. i also gained like 50 pounds.
honestly though considering how successful we were i would take that tradeoff.
now i mean iwork 6 days a week usually but i never work more than 50-55 hours a week.
that's so true. it was nohting for me to work 70-80 hour weeks when we took off. i soon developed a cocaine problem which turned into a crack cocaine problem lol. i also gained like 50 pounds.
honestly though considering how successful we were i would take that tradeoff.
now i mean iwork 6 days a week usually but i never work more than 50-55 hours a week.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Try not to look at other people's success and compare yourself. That's the big thing.
It's one thing to work 60 hours a week and not see results. It's another thing to work 60 hours week, see nothing and then look at someone working 35 hours a week and having a pretty comfortable life. you have to shut other people out
when i was starting my business i was young enough to where my 2 best friends were still in college. every freaking week frat parties. They wren't even trying in college and were having the time of their lives.
Just keep at it, both of you's. It will pay off. Learn from your mistakes, have a little fun when you can keep negative people out of your lives, keep a positive attitude, stay motivated.
It's one thing to work 60 hours a week and not see results. It's another thing to work 60 hours week, see nothing and then look at someone working 35 hours a week and having a pretty comfortable life. you have to shut other people out
when i was starting my business i was young enough to where my 2 best friends were still in college. every freaking week frat parties. They wren't even trying in college and were having the time of their lives.
Just keep at it, both of you's. It will pay off. Learn from your mistakes, have a little fun when you can keep negative people out of your lives, keep a positive attitude, stay motivated.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Try not to look at other people's success and compare yourself. That's the big thing.
It's one thing to work 60 hours a week and not see results. It's another thing to work 60 hours week, see nothing and then look at someone working 35 hours a week and having a pretty comfortable life. you have to shut other people out
when i was starting my business i was young enough to where my 2 best friends were still in college. every freaking week frat parties. They wren't even trying in college and were having the time of their lives.
Just keep at it, both of you's. It will pay off. Learn from your mistakes, have a little fun when you can keep negative people out of your lives, keep a positive attitude, stay motivated.
It's one thing to work 60 hours a week and not see results. It's another thing to work 60 hours week, see nothing and then look at someone working 35 hours a week and having a pretty comfortable life. you have to shut other people out
when i was starting my business i was young enough to where my 2 best friends were still in college. every freaking week frat parties. They wren't even trying in college and were having the time of their lives.
Just keep at it, both of you's. It will pay off. Learn from your mistakes, have a little fun when you can keep negative people out of your lives, keep a positive attitude, stay motivated.
samspade said:
Yah I don't think people at my level are caught up in that ideal. It's more of the mentality that I can lose this job tomorrow and not be able to survive. I need to make sure I have a safety net as soon as possible and I need be able to deal with my crushing debts. Now if that's the American idea of success and happiness, how far we have fallen. I'm not asking for bling bling, cars and women. I want true freedom.
