10 Signs Before She Breaks Up With You

[ProDJ26]

http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/why-she-wants-to-dump-you.html

 

[dasein]

Wow. There is no way in hell a normal heterosexual man with any significant experience with good looking women wrote that article. That's the most AFC mangina twaddle I've read so far this year (and I generally don't use those terms... but it is what it is). Note that -all- of the numbered items are purely the man's fault, and none on the woman. Note also that despite the title, those aren't signs at all but just cliched flaws or faults that lead to signs of breakup. Here is my list of real signs from experience, not because my weepy platitudinous male vagina told me so to write a BS story for a website, but because this is how it is:

1. A significant change in pattern of behavior that could include many variables, diet, gym, classes, more or less personal or phone contact, dress, spending, drinking, more sex. less sex, nights out without you, a whole host of anomalous change factors possible here. She is beginning to recreate a life without you in it and planning to get back on the horse pronto after she mopes for a weekend about what may take you months or years to get over. She is already broken up, may not even know it herself, and is healing herself so that by the time you aren't conveniently around, her life is already restructured. Keep abreast of her habits and curious changes in them.

2. Your gut tells you something is not right, a fishy feeling of sorts, and you have little or no history of jealousy or clinginess in relationships. Where there is smoke there is fire. If you are good at cards, gambling, stock market, always factor in your subconscious. We receive cues all day every day through every sense that we discount because they can't be verbalized. Get in touch with your subconscious and get caught offguard by women much less.

3. Poker type tells in communications. Telling you too much information, more than is necessary, about comings and goings. Going into infinite detail about minutiae. Strange "testing" tension in the voice, shifting eyes, etc. are possible indicators. Lots of talk about her friends and their BFs, even if framed a bit negatively, she is still telling you, "you don't measure up." These depend on the woman in question, most women are lousy poker players and show their hands constantly.

4. New work friends or groups, lots of phone/text with new people, particularly male "friends." Women almost never break up without a new branch unless you have done something truly abhorrent, they will be cultivating these new branches long before the actual breakup.

5. Sexual, in line with changes in 1, but deserves it's own category. They will reduce the amount of sex overall, then be very demanding of it out of the blue. They will appear or dress unattractively, resist sex under whatever claim, then suddenly demand it in forceful ways. You can see this exact same behavior in people trying to quit cigs or drinking. She is weaning herself off of you, goes as long as she can, then must have the fix. Eventually she can go cold turkey.

6. They become exposed to greater wealth or social status in one way or another, either a new job, a wealthy wedding, a party with celebrities, anything in their lives that persists in putting them among a higher socioeconomic element than you are. You can have a perfect relationship. literally perfect, and this factor alone will create a breakup. Sometimes it's as vulgar as her breaking up a very good multi year relationship based on a tiny chance of hooking a big fish. Be very careful when your woman's life changes such that she is regularly exposed to wealthy people... unless you yourself are wealthy.

Those are the main ones I've experienced over many years and many relationships, but caveat emptor, I don't really do the monogamous relationship thing any more, haven't for some time, and advise against such after you have attained some level of mastery over your sex life and ability to get sex from different women when you want. IMO, monogamous relationships with women in the US are such a bad, biased deal for the man that they should be avoided. YMMV of course. None of them are "new" or any kind of Eureka realization. Others can surely add more to this list.

 

[Night-hawk]

Great list.

 

[Colossus]

Great list Dasein. I don't really have anything novel to add, but I'll basically corroborate in my own words...

1. Any abrupt or "unexplainable" changes in communication. If you are normally in daily contact then she goes a weekend without talking to you...bad news ahead.

2. As above, any abrupt or unusual changes in behavior. When she is b!tchier with you, it usually means she is unhappy with you and/or the relationship and is trying in her horribly ineffective way to get you to "fix" it; if she is suddenly SWEETER or super nice to you, it's too late. She has another branch in her grasp (possibly a c0ck) and is trying to save face and keep you beguiled while she makes her seamless exit and avoids any uncomfortable confrontations.

3. That fishy gut feeling. When the things she says, the look in her eyes, or her tone just doesn't add up and you are trying to convince yourself it's nothing...it probably isn't.

4. In line with #2, she suddenly doesn't seem to care about all the things she used to b!tch at you about, or any problems you may have had, or what you are doing/who you are doing it with. This is last stop before ejection. She has already moved on, and you are about to be kicked out of the car while still moving and left sitting in the dust wondering wtf just happened.

5. Constantly talking about her new group of friends, or her new pal (guy) at work.

6. Spending too much time with crappy women. Party girls, clubbers, sex and the city types, or the garden variety sarcastic cvnts found in urban areas.

7. And, as you said, a new exposure to higher wealth and status, especially if she is young and pretty. Sometimes the potential for climbing up the ladder is all it takes for girls with weaker moral constitutions. They start to entertain the idea that they could have that, and that by comparison they are slumming it with you.

 

[speed dawg]

Excellent list dasein and I would completely agree. I do want to call attention to one quote though:

Note that -all- of the numbered items are purely the man's fault, and none on the woman.

Now, don't take this as me criticizing, it's not. I thought the post was excellent. But I think as men, we need to be careful don't to give away some of the 'power' we do have in an attempt to be completely independent of all things women. If a woman is breaking up with you, then that means there's SOMETHING in your life that you can improve upon, 9 times out of 10. I'm all about the general rule, not the exceptions.

Men who have their sh*t together typically don't get dumped. I'm sure the situation you mentioned where a woman is given much more status could trump that, but even still, I don't think so within reason. It's all about that Interest Level. So that would lend me to believe that men always have a LITTLE "fault", but yes it's not any of that p*ssy sh*t that the Askmen.com article suggests. All that crap is the symptom of the REAL fault, and shows that the writer doesn't know his head from his ass.

 

[VikingKing]

Wow. There is no way in hell a normal heterosexual man with any significant experience with good looking women wrote that article. That's the most AFC mangina twaddle I've read so far this year (and I generally don't use those terms... but it is what it is). Note that -all- of the numbered items are purely the man's fault, and none on the woman. Note also that despite the title, those aren't signs at all but just cliched flaws or faults that lead to signs of breakup. Here is my list of real signs from experience, not because my weepy platitudinous male vagina told me so to write a BS story for a website, but because this is how it is:

1. A significant change in pattern of behavior that could include many variables, diet, gym, classes, more or less personal or phone contact, dress, spending, drinking, more sex. less sex, nights out without you, a whole host of anomalous change factors possible here. She is beginning to recreate a life without you in it and planning to get back on the horse pronto after she mopes for a weekend about what may take you months or years to get over. She is already broken up, may not even know it herself, and is healing herself so that by the time you aren't conveniently around, her life is already restructured. Keep abreast of her habits and curious changes in them.

2. Your gut tells you something is not right, a fishy feeling of sorts, and you have little or no history of jealousy or clinginess in relationships. Where there is smoke there is fire. If you are good at cards, gambling, stock market, always factor in your subconscious. We receive cues all day every day through every sense that we discount because they can't be verbalized. Get in touch with your subconscious and get caught offguard by women much less.

3. Poker type tells in communications. Telling you too much information, more than is necessary, about comings and goings. Going into infinite detail about minutiae. Strange "testing" tension in the voice, shifting eyes, etc. are possible indicators. Lots of talk about her friends and their BFs, even if framed a bit negatively, she is still telling you, "you don't measure up." These depend on the woman in question, most women are lousy poker players and show their hands constantly.

4. New work friends or groups, lots of phone/text with new people, particularly male "friends." Women almost never break up without a new branch unless you have done something truly abhorrent, they will be cultivating these new branches long before the actual breakup.

5. Sexual, in line with changes in 1, but deserves it's own category. They will reduce the amount of sex overall, then be very demanding of it out of the blue. They will appear or dress unattractively, resist sex under whatever claim, then suddenly demand it in forceful ways. You can see this exact same behavior in people trying to quit cigs or drinking. She is weaning herself off of you, goes as long as she can, then must have the fix. Eventually she can go cold turkey.

6. They become exposed to greater wealth or social status in one way or another, either a new job, a wealthy wedding, a party with celebrities, anything in their lives that persists in putting them among a higher socioeconomic element than you are. You can have a perfect relationship. literally perfect, and this factor alone will create a breakup. Sometimes it's as vulgar as her breaking up a very good multi year relationship based on a tiny chance of hooking a big fish. Be very careful when your woman's life changes such that she is regularly exposed to wealthy people... unless you yourself are wealthy.

Those are the main ones I've experienced over many years and many relationships, but caveat emptor, I don't really do the monogamous relationship thing any more, haven't for some time, and advise against such after you have attained some level of mastery over your sex life and ability to get sex from different women when you want. IMO, monogamous relationships with women in the US are such a bad, biased deal for the man that they should be avoided. YMMV of course. None of them are "new" or any kind of Eureka realization. Others can surely add more to this list.

I can attest to this. From my experience. Acting like you don't matter. She has a new female friend, who she starts spending more time with.

Doesn't want to be in the same room as you (living together). Starts working a couple hours later every night. Comes home and all of a sudden is immediately taking a shower when she gets home.

Comes home once after work (office job) with her hair fvcked up, and make up running. This could be cheating or she was just crying, bu tprobably cheating.

You come home one day and shes laying on the bed in her short pink shorts, and you go to pull them off, her vag is a bit puffy (which you only saw a couple times before because you were fvcking her so much)

Doesn't really text much back. When you notice her change in behavior, you start to try to do little things for her, she will say "your to good to me". Doesnt want to go do things together.

She will treat you with disdain.

shes basically either cheating, planning to cheat, wants to cheat and/ or making plans to leave you, then you get kicked out of a moving car.

 

[Colossus]

Men who have their sh*t together typically don't get dumped.

I actually agree with this. I think some guys have been burned so bad they think women will dump them at the drop of a hat, but generally speaking if she has high interest and you have your sh*t together (job, life, attitude, game), you aren't going to get dumped unless you really let your game go slack and stop caring.

I'll also add that the LESS past sexual partners a girl has had, the more loyal she will be, again provided you have it together. I think a woman's loyalty can be roughly calculated by these 4 variables:

1. Her interest level in you
2. Her past sexual history
3. Your current value
4. Her available options in comparison to you

 

[dasein]

I agree that no one is perfect, that there is always room for improvement in how one conducts relationships. What I was objecting to is the biased frame that constantly pops up in the guise of mainstream advice for men that "men are inevitably at fault in dealings with women." This is not the case, is a product of the supreme female powers of rationalization, cultural bias, together with white-knighting. Men who accept the constant blameshift to male behavior end up confused and even self-blaming when they aren't at fault. They also end up getting less leg ironically.

Listening to conventional wisdom, like that link in the OP, will get young men a biased, feminized version of reality that stacks the cards against men. Don't sit at that table, cards are marked, game is rigged.

 

[Colossus]

I didnt even read that article; Askmen is pop garbage.

I used to believe in that lie that almost all relationship failings are because of something the man did (or didnt) do, and it is really pervasive in our culture, ESPECIALLY the charismatic Christian church. The advice given by "leaders" and contemporary Christian authors is disgusting and horribly misguided. I fell prey to it and so did my father in his marriages. He blamed himself, and turned the masculine quality of accountability into a liability that absolved women of all responsibility for a relationship going south. Even still today he subscribes to this.

If all men did was listen to women's advice on relationships, we would subjugate ourselves to being dogs begging our women for pvssy scraps, and miserable to boot. I used to hold female advice in such high esteem because I fgured "hey, I'm getting inside intel!!". Boy was I wrong.

 

[BMX]

Maybe worthy of a sticky. This JUST happened to me. 26, newly single. Free to travel and build a strong career early on. Yep I'm traveling yet again this weekend.

 

[englishman]

Listening to conventional wisdom, like that link in the OP, will get young men a biased, feminized version of reality that stacks the cards against men. Don't sit at that table, cards are marked, game is rigged.

Wise words!

 

[englishman]

Another one to watch out for is the newly divorced old friend of your women.
When they arrive on the scene it's time for some extra 'work' to keep your relationship together.

 

[ProDJ26]

If she has kids by multiple men RUN!!!