#1 Problem for guys: Inexperience (and my thoughts on mine)

[muscleman]

After a few requests, I decided to summarize my overall experience with women and how my outlook has matured over the years (and the lays). I added it to my tips compilation thread, but it's important enough that I feel it deserves its own. Here you go:

50 girls and observations/discoveries/personal changes every 10

One of the reasons I don't post in threads much is because I see a dozen of the same things posted daily and I almost want to cut & paste responses. This is nothing new of course, but it becomes tedious.

Most problems guys (especially younger ones) have are ALL due to 1 single fact:

A lack of experience.

That's it, nothing more.

I was a HUGE beta/AFC/chump/whatever you want to call it, starting almost a decade ago. I cried over girlfriends. At one point I was almost suicidal. I drove across multiple states to see a girl I'd never met. I wrote notes, bought flowers, picked her up, took her to dinner, did all that dutiful BS Disney would have us believe.

But then, one failed relationship after another, I began to change, and as the numbers racked up I started to understand the true nature of Man and Woman. Experience really is the best teacher.

So I decided to write about the changes I went through mentally during each set of 10 lays.

My main advice for guys with less experience: KEEP AT IT. Keep learning, move on when you have to, and slowly but surely you'll see more of the light. Eventually you'll get to a point of sufficient clarity, and THAT's when you become happy - because you know the score.

My hope, however slim, is that this will help/motivate at least a few of you to 'get over it' and keep progressing. There are an infinite amount of women out there, don't get obsessed over one. Love her if that's your thing, but love yourself first.

Cheers

 

[Darth]

I don't know man. I see where you're going with this, but I would say quality>quantity.

I would rather have one high class, high quality, HB10 (for me), than 50 crazy b!tches. They might give me experience, but there are so many cooler things to do than go out with b!tches. Keep learning, yes. Keep progressing, yes. But have a little self-respect too.

Best way to get a true, ultra-high quality HB10 lady (of which there are very few) is to be an HB10 man, which has very little to do with women and everything to do with yourself IMO. Pursuing physical goals, financial goals, career goals, moral goals...all of the things that make up an "HB10" man. This is what I'm doing in my 20s, others are free to disagree.

And as I think more and more about this, it's clearer and clearer that this is what attracts women MOST! The guy who does not give a sh!t about sex and would rather be doing other things. The kind of husband that would kick his wife out of the bed if she was annoying him- that saw his wife as a nuisance. Now I don't agree with that cruel mentality, but I think there is something primal in this.

EDIT:

1) How will you get this ONE high quality HB10 (to the exclusion of others)? Be the kind of guy that finds himself at the top and then have the highest-caliber women to choose from. Jack Nicholson, Mel Gibson, Russel Crowe. Who knows, you may be seeing me on TV and other venues before too long. You may have already. I am working on humility so I'll leave it at that.
2) What will you do with her once you get her? Marry her and have a bunch of kids.

Or, how can you handle a 1200cc bike without killing yourself if you've never been on anything close? I've gone out with other women, but they were not acceptable to me.

That's a dangerous way of thinking. It's called ONEitis, if it even happens. OK. Here's the point, though- if you were an HB10 woman, drop dead gorgeous, morally minded, traditional, slender, raised well by her parents, etc. This is an HB10 to me- a very moral, playful, fun, gorgeous girl.

Now then- if you were a very moral girl and an HB10...would you date somebody who harbored beliefs that a man should never get "oneitus" or devote himself to one woman because it might go wrong later? There are people married for 60, 70 years- happily married. Very happily married. How do you explain that?

If you were a girl desirous of that (which again, for me that is my HB10) would you marry a guy who never let himself get "oneitus"? Would you even go out with someone who would entertain that thought?

No! You'd go for a man who was just as moral as you were, perhaps even more so. More financially successful, more distinguished in his career. More "10" in every sense of the word.

Note this has nothing to do with oneitus in the sense of desperation, but oneitus in the form of devotion to a woman in marriage while maintaining all of the attraction principles. Backbreaker and several others right here on this forum have chosen that life.

There's no shortcut to becoming an HB10 man! That's the point. Many otherwise "alphas" or "players" or "DJs" are morally and spiritually bankrupt. The sad part is that their cynicism ("There are no 'good' girls, that's a myth") is a self-fullfilling prophecy and they will never get these women because in their world, they don't exist.

Sucks to be them, but I'll just keep doing my own thing which seems to be working OK so far.

CONTENT OF CHARACTER is very important to me. If you have no values you aren't worth sh!t and I don't give a damn about lay reports. I would rather have a beer with an "omega" who works hard at his job, pays all his bills on time, and is generally a good, decent person trying to live a good life, than a "DJ" who is a moral zero.

I apply the same philosophy to women.

 

[visions]

After a few requests, I decided to summarize my overall experience with women and how my outlook has matured over the years (and the lays). I added it to my tips compilation thread, but it's important enough that I feel it deserves its own. Here you go:

50 girls and observations/discoveries/personal changes every 10

One of the reasons I don't post in threads much is because I see a dozen of the same things posted daily and I almost want to cut & paste responses. This is nothing new of course, but it becomes tedious.

Most problems guys (especially younger ones) have are ALL due to 1 single fact:

A lack of experience.

That's it, nothing more.

I was a HUGE beta/AFC/chump/whatever you want to call it, starting almost a decade ago. I cried over girlfriends. At one point I was almost suicidal. I drove across multiple states to see a girl I'd never met. I wrote notes, bought flowers, picked her up, took her to dinner, did all that dutiful BS Disney would have us believe.

But then, one failed relationship after another, I began to change, and as the numbers racked up I started to understand the true nature of Man and Woman. Experience really is the best teacher.

So I decided to write about the changes I went through mentally during each set of 10 lays.

My main advice for guys with less experience: KEEP AT IT. Keep learning, move on when you have to, and slowly but surely you'll see more of the light. Eventually you'll get to a point of sufficient clarity, and THAT's when you become happy - because you know the score.

My hope, however slim, is that this will help/motivate at least a few of you to 'get over it' and keep progressing. There are an infinite amount of women out there, don't get obsessed over one. Love her if that's your thing, but love yourself first.

Cheers

great post

 

[muscleman]

I don't know man. I see where you're going with this, but I would say quality>quantity.

I would rather have one high class, high quality, HB10 (for me), than 50 crazy b!tches. They might give me experience, but there are so many cooler things to do than go out with b!tches. Keep learning, yes. Keep progressing, yes. But have a little self-respect too.

Best way to get a true, ultra-high quality HB10 lady (of which there are very few) is to be an HB10 man, which has very little to do with women and everything to do with yourself IMO. Pursuing physical goals, financial goals, career goals, moral goals...all of the things that make up an "HB10" man. This is what I'm doing in my 20s, others are free to disagree.

And as I think more and more about this, it's clearer and clearer that this is what attracts women MOST! The guy who does not give a sh!t about sex and would rather be doing other things. The kind of husband that would kick his wife out of the bed if she was annoying him- that saw his wife as a nuisance. Now I don't agree with that cruel mentality, but I think there is something primal in this.

Ok, 2 questions:

1) How will you get this ONE high quality HB10 (to the exclusion of others)?
2) What will you do with her once you get her?

Or, how can you handle a 1200cc bike without killing yourself if you've never been on anything close?

That's a dangerous way of thinking. It's called ONEitis, if it even happens.

There's no shortcut. Show me 1 man who landed a 10 without going through 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s, and 9s.

 

[Night-hawk]

Hot girls are like the toys you used to crave as a kid that when you finally got it you played with it for a bit; put it up on your shelf as a cool decoration, then went back to playing with your old gijoes (6s 7s 8 s) because you didn't give a worry about their maintenance, only enjoyed how they sparked your imagination.

Of course we desire the taste of the new and unfamiliar...but really, the value of it outlasts the hype and lustre.

 

[muscleman]

EDIT:

1) How will you get this ONE high quality HB10 (to the exclusion of others)? Be the kind of guy that finds himself at the top and then have the highest-caliber women to choose from. Jack Nicholson, Mel Gibson, Russel Crowe. Who knows, you may be seeing me on TV and other venues before too long. You may have already. I am working on humility so I'll leave it at that.
2) What will you do with her once you get her? Marry her and have a bunch of kids.

Do you think the people you mentioned always chose quality > quantity? You think Jack said 'nah I'll pass on these 7s, one day I'll be famous and bang some 10s'. Or that they didn't work their way up in their career, philandering, and everything else? That they just went from 0-hero with nothing in-between?

I mean if that's your thought process, cool, hope it works for you, but in my life I've yet to meet 1 guy who's successful with women who didn't 'work his way up' to some degree.

Or, how can you handle a 1200cc bike without killing yourself if you've never been on anything close? I've gone out with other women, but they were not acceptable to me.

Meaning what?

That's a dangerous way of thinking. It's called ONEitis, if it even happens. OK. Here's the point, though- if you were an HB10 woman, drop dead gorgeous, morally minded, traditional, slender, raised well by her parents, etc. This is an HB10 to me- a very moral, playful, fun, gorgeous girl.

I see you said 'drop dead gorgeous' there. That's an issue.

Have you ever, EVER seen a woman that has ALL of the traits you just mentioned?

-drop dead gorgeous
-morally minded
-traditional
-slender
-raised well by her parents

??

I haven't. Neither have most experienced guys here.

Why?

Because if you're really an HB10, you have NO REASON, NO COMPUNCTION to be moral. THE WORLD IS HANDED TO YOU ON A SILVER PLATTER. Most of us will never EVER know what it's like to be an HB10 female. You really can do no wrong.

Of course nature balances this out (they get old and their power wanes), but still.

You're idealizing. But again, if it works for you keep at it.

Now then- if you were a very moral girl and an HB10...would you date somebody who harbored beliefs that a man should never get "oneitus" or devote himself to one woman because it might go wrong later? There are people married for 60, 70 years- happily married. Very happily married. How do you explain that?

A few things:

1) What does an 'HB10 very moral girl' have to do with people married most of their lives? These 2 sentences are completely unrelated.

2) With each passing year you see a lot less of these 'happily' married people for 60-70 years. It's not happening.

3) How do YOU know they're happy? Do you follow them around 24/7? Or do you just see the 'cute' moments? Do you know their entire life story? Sure it was some crazy high school crush decision and neither partner ever had doubts, or cheated, or separated and came back together just because it was comfortable?

If you were a girl desirous of that (which again, for me that is my HB10) would you marry a guy who never let himself get "oneitus"? Would you even go out with someone who would entertain that thought?

No! You'd go for a man who was just as moral as you were, perhaps even more so. More financially successful, more distinguished in his career. More "10" in every sense of the word.

....

CONTENT OF CHARACTER is very important to me. If you have no values you aren't worth sh!t and I don't give a damn about lay reports. I would rather have a beer with an "omega" who works hard at his job, pays all his bills on time, and is generally a good, decent person trying to live a good life, than a "DJ" who is a moral zero.

I apply the same philosophy to women.

See how far this 'content of character' gets you. Doubt you'll be the next Mel Gibson with that mindset, particularly if you spend precious time downing beers with omega males.

You're also assuming that an omega has virtuous qualities over an alpha. Let's look at what you said:

-works hard at his job
-pays all his bills on time
-generally good (what does this mean?)

Well, I work hard, and I pay my bills, and I have plenty of friends (in the loose sense, I'm a floater) and lady friends, so I don't know if that makes me 'good' but it's probably not because I'm 'bad'. So far I've just described myself as an omega .... hmm.

 

[Plutoman]

Have you ever, EVER seen a woman that has ALL of the traits you just mentioned?

-drop dead gorgeous
-morally minded
-traditional
-slender
-raised well by her parents

If you lose the 'drop dead' and leave it as gorgeous I've seen a few. Rare, but they're out there. Living in conservative Kansas helps I imagine.

That said, I think experience is critical.. how else are you to know if a girl is good or not? How are you supposed to know all the signs, and even know what you want to be around? However, I'm not sure that necessarily means sleeping with a girl. I've definitely passed on girls that I just didn't want to be around, beauty notwithstanding. But I gained experience in the act of going on a few dates with them, and learned more of what I did or didn't want out of a girl, and learned how to deal with women better in general.

 

[Darth]

Muscleman--I have responded to you via PM (ran out of posts).

EDIT:

Hi there,

My post limit is shot so I'm just PM-ing my response, feel free to post it yourself if you want.

Do you think the people you mentioned always chose quality > quantity? No, but why should you care what other people do when determining how to live your life? You are "alpha", correct?

You think Jack said 'nah I'll pass on these 7s, one day I'll be famous and bang some 10s'. Or that they didn't work their way up in their career, philandering, and everything else? That they just went from 0-hero with nothing in-between? Why try to model yourself on someone else? I am not Jack and Jack has his own value system and moral code.

I mean if that's your thought process, cool, hope it works for you, but in my life I've yet to meet 1 guy who's successful with women who didn't 'work his way up' to some degree. I don't think I ever said that one shouldn't work his way up by improving, and that goes for anything in life. However, you have to know what you are worth and not throw out your self-respect just to get "experience". I believe if you sacrifice or bend your values for any reason, you are basically sh!t.

I also maintain that once you resolve your childhood problems and become normal, as in a normal person with no issues or psychological problems, you can indeed go from 0 to hero. Things tend to work themselves out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth
Or, how can you handle a 1200cc bike without killing yourself if you've never been on anything close? I've gone out with other women, but they were not acceptable to me.

Meaning what? After multiple dates I did not find their appearance, demeanor, or values at an acceptable level.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth
That's a dangerous way of thinking. It's called ONEitis, if it even happens. OK. Here's the point, though- if you were an HB10 woman, drop dead gorgeous, morally minded, traditional, slender, raised well by her parents, etc. This is an HB10 to me- a very moral, playful, fun, gorgeous girl.


I see you said 'drop dead gorgeous' there. That's an issue. Is it? I don't think it is, LOL

Have you ever, EVER seen a woman that has ALL of the traits you just mentioned?

-drop dead gorgeous
-morally minded
-traditional
-slender
-raised well by her parents

??

Yes. Married, though.

I haven't. Neither have most experienced guys here. Here is the cynicism again. Maybe it is BECAUSE they are experienced that they've never ran into these rare birds. Might want to think on that.

Why?

Because if you're really an HB10, you have NO REASON, NO COMPUNCTION to be moral. OK but nobody has a reason to be moral unless they choose to be. It's free choice. Forced morality because of ugliness is no morality at all. Morality is quite apart from looks. This is evidenced by the many beautiful but moral girls from the 50s and 60s. You can't tell me it wasn't any different- I have spoken to numerous people from that time myself and it was quite a bit different. Now let's be realists- are we living in that time? The answer is no. However, I make a bet there are a handful of survivors that still fit the bill. As a sidenote, my career objective in media is to improve our culture and collective values, beginning this year. THE WORLD IS HANDED TO YOU ON A SILVER PLATTER. Most of us will never EVER know what it's like to be an HB10 female. You really can do no wrong. Agreed that it is more difficult for hot girls to be humble unless they have been raised that way.

Of course nature balances this out (they get old and their power wanes), but still.

You're idealizing. I don't think so- I will find the type of girl I described. But again, if it works for you keep at it. I prefer idealism to cynicism and negativity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth
Now then- if you were a very moral girl and an HB10...would you date somebody who harbored beliefs that a man should never get "oneitus" or devote himself to one woman because it might go wrong later? There are people married for 60, 70 years- happily married. Very happily married. How do you explain that?


A few things:

1) What does an 'HB10 very moral girl' have to do with people married most of their lives? These 2 sentences are completely unrelated. No, moral girls want to get married and stay that way. I say HB10 very moral girl because that is one of the ways I judge an HB10.

2) With each passing year you see a lot less of these 'happily' married people for 60-70 years. It's not happening. That's because the Greatest Generation has mostly died off. I intend our generation to be the next Greatest Generation. Whether that works out or not is beside the point- I like to live my life exactly how I want.

3) How do YOU know they're happy? Do you follow them around 24/7? Or do you just see the 'cute' moments? Do you know their entire life story? Sure it was some crazy high school crush decision and neither partner ever had doubts, or cheated, or separated and came back together just because it was comfortable? Let me ask you this- how the hell did you get so cynical and hardened? What were your parents like growing up? Divorced? Separated? You know I GUARANTEE you you will never get one of the girls I have described to you with that attitude.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth
If you were a girl desirous of that (which again, for me that is my HB10) would you marry a guy who never let himself get "oneitus"? Would you even go out with someone who would entertain that thought?

No! You'd go for a man who was just as moral as you were, perhaps even more so. More financially successful, more distinguished in his career. More "10" in every sense of the word.

....

CONTENT OF CHARACTER is very important to me. If you have no values you aren't worth sh!t and I don't give a damn about lay reports. I would rather have a beer with an "omega" who works hard at his job, pays all his bills on time, and is generally a good, decent person trying to live a good life, than a "DJ" who is a moral zero.

I apply the same philosophy to women.

See how far this 'content of character' gets you. Seems to be working out so far, pal. What's your alternative? Zero character? LOL Doubt you'll be the next Mel Gibson with that mindset do I really want to be? LOL, particularly if you spend precious time downing beers with omega males. You sound like kind of a jacka$$, no offense.

You're also assuming that an omega has virtuous qualities over an alpha. No, a true "alpha" has many virtues because he has strong values. Let's look at what you said:

-works hard at his job
-pays all his bills on time
-generally good (what does this mean?)
That took about 6 seconds to type. I was making a comparison to prove a point.

Well, I work hard, and I pay my bills, and I have plenty of friends (in the loose sense, I'm a floater) and lady friends, so I don't know if that makes me 'good' but it's probably not because I'm 'bad'. I'm very happy for you. So far I've just described myself as an omega .... hmm. Might want to think on that friend

 

[muscleman]

Muscleman--I have responded to you via PM (ran out of posts).

I read your response, and I don't even know where to begin it's so contradictory. If you want the opinion of others (not just me), post it here again.