1 month and no sex!

[DonJuanit0]

I'm with this girl for 1 month now and we still haven't had any sex!

I've been with a lot of girls and easily had sex with them (2 were virgins as well) but this one seems to keep resisting! I am near 21 and she is 18, we've been together for 1 month as I said before and our relationship has some issues, cause we argue a lot but we both want to continue! I do have 2 **** buddies so I am not desperate I just think it's strange! We kiss a lot and I do kino her a lot, so as she does!

Last night we had a convo about it and she told me she has 2 friends, the first one had sex with her bf after 3 months and the other 1 after 9 months (wtf?)! I couldn't help myself and laughed at the second guy, she then asked me if I would break up with her if we wouldn't have sex for 9 months and I was like, "Uhm, yeah but I think it's completely normal, I am not in an age that I can wait 9 months for something so nice to happen"

She ain't a virgin and she broke up 3-4 months ago. She has tried to say to me that her ex LTR was a mess but I keep telling her that I don't want to know about her ex or something...

I know many of you may think that the problem is that I am not turning her on so much but I know I have a good game in this section from past experiences and she seems to get to the point where other girls would definately want to have sex but she just stops me every time...

Any suggestions? Is it normal?

 

[WaterTiger]

Sounds like she's trying to be "A Respectable Woman" and not hop into bed with every guy who gives her a line. Whether this is "normal" or not isn't the question.

The question is: Is this the kind of girl you want?

If she's worth all the work and waiting, keep her.

If you want a sexual relationship, dump her and find another.

 

[DonJuanit0]

I do want to be with her that's out of question! I just wanted to ask about the sex thing!

 

[SandHawk]

Parts of her resistance are caused by your own "DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT EX" behaviour. It radiates off an AFCness that screams 'I am jealous'. Why does it radiate that off? Because by denying the existence of her ex, you are also denying part of her identity. Each relationship you form with someone impacts your identity and who you are.

If you want to start having sex with her, start by winning her trust and talk about that ex. Let her tell you why she thinks it's was a mess and re-assure her that you won't act like that. This will earn her trust and will allow you to get poon sooner. If that's what you want. Girls are emotional critters, so sometimes it's useful to understand their emotions.

 

[eaglez1177]

^ I disagree with you SandHawk

One of the common rules of DJ's is to not discuss ex bf's or gf's with other girls. Not because it gives off a jealous vibe (which in fact it doesnt), but simply because YOU are the prize and she shud NOT be thinking about her ex bf, and shud be thinking about you instead. The last thing you want is her going back to her ex bf to get fvcked or get back with him, thus screwing you over, and by talking about her ex bf with her, it simply brings back her memories of him, and puts her ex bf in her mind more than the guy shes currently with. And i dont even know where you came up with that "denying part of her identity" crap lol.

Ignoring and avoiding the sh*t about her ex bf is a good move. Your the prize, your the focus, not her ex bf.

Regarding the sex thing, to be honest I think it is pretty normal. This girl doesnt seem like one of those girls who just goes around looking for sex, so it wont be easy to just go out with her and then bang her the next day. Heres my advice:

1. Dont try to advance to sex for a few weeks
2. If you still havent had sex on your two month anniversary, then I'd give it a few more days, and if still nothing, ditch her.

Good luck bro

 

[DonJuanit0]

I agree with you eaglez! I did know that a man should never be the emotional tampon of a woman and that's what she tried to do with me when she started talking about her messed up ex relationship! I stopped her! I'll keep your advice and see where it goes... Ty!

 

[eaglez1177]

Np man...I want you to lay off pressuring her for the sex for those few weeks cuz I think if you keep on pressuring her its gonna come off as desperate, annoying, and needy. By layin off on her for a bit, its gonna make her think that you understand where she comes from and that your not in it all for the sex. Right now she thinks your in it solely for the sex, and she doesnt want that to be true, so she isnt giving you sex. Once you stop pressuring her and all, she'll think you "actually" like her and are not in it just for sex. Then, after those few weeks, Id start to slowly pressure her again for sex (try not to pressure her verbally, but rather physically as in trying to advance further when you two are in bed or something)

Hope all goes well

 

[SandHawk]

I never said that you need to be an emotional tampon for a girl, but showing understanding helps in certain scenarios. Sure, if a girl talks about nothing but exes, I dump her quite quickly because it does mean she has issues left with him/them.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Once you're officially boyfriend/girlfriend with someone, their ex history shoudl be an open book as much as yours. It's only natural for people to discuss their past and even make comparisons in some cases. It's also a great way to find out a whole lot about what kind of person she is.

But yeah after only one month I'm sure I wouldn't be talking about ex's yet.

 

[dj_china]

I do want to be with her that's out of question! I just wanted to ask about the sex thing!

how serious do you want to get with her? if you really want to be with her then you could just say "ok lets wait 9 months then =)"

after 9 months you'll get great sex -- better because you waited
she will also be all over you during this time because she'll see you as such a great guy
and you did say you have 2 f-buddies right now anyways

 

[DonJuanit0]

how serious do you want to get with her? if you really want to be with her then you could just say "ok lets wait 9 months then =)"

after 9 months you'll get great sex -- better because you waited
she will also be all over you during this time because she'll see you as such a great guy
and you did say you have 2 f-buddies right now anyways

Serious... I always liked to have a LTR with some girl but that doesn't mean that I won't cheat or that I can w8 for 9 months to have sex with her! I love being with someone to hug, call on the phone, argue, have fun, go out etc which are things that I won't do with f*ck buddies cause it always becomes complicated after those acts!

So, I do want to be with her, the way I think it is serious for me, but also have sex with her!

 

[eaglez1177]

how serious do you want to get with her? if you really want to be with her then you could just say "ok lets wait 9 months then =)"

after 9 months you'll get great sex -- better because you waited
she will also be all over you during this time because she'll see you as such a great guy
and you did say you have 2 f-buddies right now anyways

I still disagree. You make it sound like such a good thing having to wait for 9 freaking months for sex, when it really isnt such a great thing. Just because you waited does not mean its gonna be great sex. What if shes just a bad lay and is inexperienced? Like I've said in other posts, if your not the one having sex with your gf and pleasuring her, then chances are some other guy is taking up that role while the two of you are going out; and you would have no idea.

 

[Nutz]

:sigh:

Don't be that guy that waits 9 months to have sex with her to find out after you break up she's banging the next dude 5 hours after meeting him.


Man up, escalate things, push-pull, and get her hot & bothered. You'll know you did good when she's begging you to f*ck her. I can't give you advice on how to do that since every chick is unique and it's your job to figure out how to unlock her sexuality. The standard stuff in the community is a good start for getting things going though.