Here's the story.

My relationship with my GF had zero issues whatsoever. We got along great, have lots of common interests, always have fun together, sex was really good. She's 21, I'm several older. She doesn't care about my age nor do her parents whom like me.

For the Thanksgiving Holiday, I had made plans to go to my parents house for a week. She stays over at my place on Wednesday the 20th and Thursday the 21st of November. We have sex both nights and on Thursday morning as well. Friday morning we watch the 1st showing of Catching Fire, then have lunch together, then she has to go to work later that day.

On Monday I fly to my parents. We text every now and then but I know she's really busy because she is working retail and has a lot of hours that time of year. Her grandmother was also moving the day after Thanksgiving, so this girl has a lot going on. I call her on Thanksgiving, she's too busy to get the phone, and texts me back later that day.

We make plans for her to come over to my place on Wednesday the 4th, two days after I get back from my trip. She is going to stay for two nights.

She arrives on Wednesday and it's obvious that she's exhausted from working so much as well as helping her grandmother unpack the day before. We sit on the couch cuddling and talking about how her week was, work, her grandmother etc.

Feeling a little frisky since I haven't seen her in a while, I grope one of her breasts, then she suddenly says, "Before we start anything I've been doing a lot of thinking." Then she goes on to talk about her feelings and how she thinks that they have plateaued for her, that she's not in love with me like she thinks she should be after six months, and that she may never fall in love with me. She also thinks her feelings for me have been going down for a while and that me being gone gave her time to think and talk to her friends about me. She said something about her being stressed and tired has made her think clearer. She said that I like her a lot, more than she likes me and that I'm very sweet.

She thinks that she may not have been single long enough since we got together about a month after she ended it with her ex of three years. Things with her ex were bad for a long time, and I was pretty much the deciding factor in her leaving him. She says that she thinks she wants to be single for a long time before dating anybody else again, and that the timing for us wasn't right.

I pretty much go into shock and can barely process what is happening. Much of her words are a blur. When she's done with her break up speech, we hug, my emotions go into overdrive and I start crying and collapse onto my couch. She says something about us probably not being able to be friends, that I'm really sweet and should be able to find somebody else, grabs her bag and then leaves. I haven't seen her since.

The next day I text her to try to get her to meet up with me so we can talk and I can ask the questions that I wasn't able to. She says that she's can't that day. Thinking it's bullshit because she was supposed to be with me that day and should not have plans already, I ask her if it's because she doesn't want to see me or if she's busy, she says that she's just busy. Several days later I sent her an email around 5 am (I wasn't able to sleep), asking to meet up and talk. Later that day I text her something about what my mom is doing and she doesn't respond.

Several days later, 12/9, I send her a text, "I haven't heard from you in several days, Why are you giving me the cold shoulder? What did I do to make you so angry?"

She replies, "I'm not trying to do anything to you. And I'm not angry at you nor did you do anything. You can't catch a hint that I'm not up for meeting to talk right now. It hasn't even been a week. You have to give things time and emailing me at 5 am is not the right way to go about it. If I wanted to talk to you I would. But the truth is right now I don't.

I replied back that I don't understand why not and that she met up with her ex a couple of times after she broke up with him. She replied that he wouldn't leave her alone, and that he came to her work, plus he paid back the money he owed and that it was very short and awkward and that she didn't let him talk. I sent something to her about the meeting being awkward. No reply. 20 minuets go by and then I send her another text, "Ok you don't want to meet up. At least you're being honest now. I will give you time to do what you have to do. No reply.

There has been no contact between us since that conversation on the 9th and I haven't seen her since the 4th.

Because of her work schedule, and us being about an hour away, we usually only saw each other twice a week, she would stay at my place since she lives with her parents. Every other week or so we would go out and have a date day/night. Things were depending on our schedules matching up and what was going on. We had sex 1 to 2 times a day, every day that she came over. I know that she enjoyed it, and it was much better than with her and her ex. I'm only the second guys she's been with.

If it's relevant, she's starting nursing school in January, and plans to keep her current job. She thinks she can handle the stress and thrives on being busy.

Does anybody have an idea what happened with her, and does it make any since for her to suddenly dump me when there were no issues as at all, with no warning or red flags. And of course, is there any way I can get her back?

No way to get her back and you shouldn't want to anyway.

She is back with her ex and sleeping with him. That's why nothing makes sense to you, because it is all a lie. She doesn't need time, she wants out.

Your mistakes were being too needy and emotional. Never tell a girl that you are hurt, let alone cry in front of her. You should've at maximum sent ONE message after the break up, not 20!!

Also, she is full of s*ht scolding you about emailing her at 5am. What's the big deal about the time? It's an email and not a phone call. Sounds like she got it in her head that she despises you now. It makes it easier for her to rationalize why she left you. The truth is you're a good guy but the a**hole boyfriend makes her gina tingle.

Let it be. This one is gone and I don't think you will get her back.

There is another guy out there in your same situation who is basically saying, **** that *****, to his gf who told him all that. Your pain will inevitably lead you to understand that. Hopefully it doesn't take another relationship for that to happen. Read up on red pill lit.

MidnightCity said:

hate to break it to you, but sounds like you were just a rebound.

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I asked her that and she said that she wasn't rebounding. She literally had no feelings for her ex the last six months and was only with him because she felt that he needed her. It doesn't really make much since to me. But no she was not rebounding.

when a girl breaks up with you its never ever "out of no where" girls break up with you in their heads way before they actually break up with you. not seeing the signs is another story. ignore the logical reasons they offer, chicks break up with you because of LOW INTEREST.

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That's what I was thinking though I'm not sure how low interest happened, if it did. She kept saying that it was her, not me, and even pointed out that that reason is commonly used as a line but she was serious.

I didn't see any signs at all. So if she was thinking about it for a while, I had no idea.

theres really nothing to this. she has no interest you beyond this point. you merely cushioned her emotions from her last breakup.

dont try to get her back this wasnt meant to be just move on.

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I'm not ready to give up on her quite yet.

El Suave said:

No way to get her back and you shouldn't want to anyway.

She is back with her ex and sleeping with him. That's why nothing makes sense to you, because it is all a lie. She doesn't need time, she wants out.

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There is no way that she is with her ex again. She despises him now.

Your mistakes were being too needy and emotional. Never tell a girl that you are hurt, let alone cry in front of her. You should've at maximum sent ONE message after the break up, not 20!!

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I forgot to mention that she was my first GF. So yeah, I was unprepared and showed weakness in front of her.

Also, she is full of s*ht scolding you about emailing her at 5am. What's the big deal about the time? It's an email and not a phone call. Sounds like she got it in her head that she despises you now. It makes it easier for her to rationalize why she left you. The truth is you're a good guy but the a**hole boyfriend makes her gina tingle.

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Yeah it was really weird that she pointed out the time of the email.

Maybe she despises me now, I don't know. It just seems like a complete 180. How can she suddenly hate me after I leave for a week?

Don't try to understand. Don't be stubborn and think pursuing her is worth your effort at all. Women are tremendous lairs and know how to sound serious and truthful even while blatantly lying. Don't try to get back with her. Fvck her and move on.

If you keep pursuing her, you're gonna feel like a dumb fool. Fvck her and move on.

Man, I feel for you. It hurts and eventually you will get over it. Here's the thing though, you can't apply logic to feelings. Like the other guy said, most girls simply break up because of waning low interest. This girl has definitely broken up with you a long time ago in her mind, she just finally gathered the courage to say it out. I have a feeling she is also definitely back with her ex or another guy. Sad but true.

Something you have to learn from this is not to base your happiness on a woman. Never ever do that. The moment they know that they are your SOLE SOURCE of happiness, they will take it, spit on it, rip it to shreds, burn it, stamp on it, sh*t on it and throw it in your mouth. Women seek out men whose source of happiness come from other things in life like education, wealth, family, hobbies, sports etc. Man, the fact that you couldn't sleep at 5am says it all. I mean, I've had many girls break up with me and I even had oneitis for many of them but it was never that bad on me when they broke up with me..

At this point, there's no use trying to rationalize WHY she broke up with you. Take her words with NO grain of salt. What a woman does and syas are two COMPLETELY different things. What you should judge her by is her actions and the fact is she just doesn't feel attracted to you anymore. Plain and simple. What you should realize is that there are millions of other girls out there that you CAN and WILL meet. She's not the only girl for you. She was merely a step to finding a girl that will appreciate you for who you are not what you have or can do for her. A girl that will try to appeal to you and that will complement your lifestyle.

So stop moping around, pick yourself up like a man and begin a new process. Sever ALL connections to that girl. Facebook account, Twitter account, old pictures, old belongings, phone number, texts, videos. EVERYTHING. That's the start of the recovery process. You can't move on if you still catch yourself looking at old pictures or spying on her Facebook account to see what she's up to. DELETE EVERY SINGLE THING. Don't EVER contact her again. NEVER, EVER. She's moved on and SO WILL YOU.

Like I said, there are millions of other girls out there but if you sit around moping, you will never meet them. Cast that oneitis demon out of your life from henceforth.

Dadude548 said:

Feeling a little frisky since I haven't seen her in a while, I grope one of her breasts, then she suddenly says, "Before we start anything I've been doing a lot of thinking." Then she goes on to talk about her feelings and how she thinks that they have plateaued for her, that she's not in love with me like she thinks she should be after six months, and that she may never fall in love with me. She also thinks her feelings for me have been going down for a while and that me being gone gave her time to think and talk to her friends about me. She said something about her being stressed and tired has made her think clearer. She said that I like her a lot, more than she likes me and that I'm very sweet.

She thinks that she may not have been single long enough since we got together about a month after she ended it with her ex of three years. Things with her ex were bad for a long time, and I was pretty much the deciding factor in her leaving him. She says that she thinks she wants to be single for a long time before dating anybody else again, and that the timing for us wasn't right.

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I don't know about anyone else, but the highlighted things are red flags and stood out to me.

1) You don't you don't know if you're going to love someone after only six months (especially after a three year relationship). And anyone who thinks you do has a skewed view of love/relationships.

2) Any girl who is so gossipy when you aren't around that it leads her to break up with you because of convos with friends, was bound to do it eventually anyway. Can you imagine if one of her friends ever started not liking you for some reason? You could be a perfect guy and the minute a friend of hers gets a bug up her ass about you, your ex would be getting an earful until it lead to a breakup.

3) Dating her that soon after such a long relationship was setting yourself up for failure.


If you aren't ready to give up on her, your best bet is to leave her alone. Yep, you read that correctly. You shouldn't be contacting her for a while (at least a month). In the mean time you should be improving yourself.

I didn't read past the first paragraph. But I do know that you're about to get a dozen or so replies saying "forget about her and spin plates".

I do think that you might be setting yourself up for failure if you date a girl who is emotionally unavailable and doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated.

LP700-4 said:

Man, I feel for you. It hurts and eventually you will get over it. Here's the thing though, you can't apply logic to feelings. Like the other guy said, most girls simply break up because of waning low interest. This girl has definitely broken up with you a long time ago in her mind, she just finally gathered the courage to say it out.

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Yeah I've been starting to understand that it doesn't work very well to apply logic to a girls' feelings.

If she had broken up with me a long time ago in her mind, how come I didn't know it, and why were still having sex? There just weren't any signs I was able to pick up on.

I have a feeling she is also definitely back with her ex or another guy. Sad but true.

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I'd like to think she's telling the truth that she wants to be single and is not with another guy. She's told me several times that she is completely against cheating and it's not something she would ever do.

Though if she is with another guy, I would instantly move on from her.

Something you have to learn from this is not to base your happiness on a woman. Never ever do that. The moment they know that they are your SOLE SOURCE of happiness, they will take it, spit on it, rip it to shreds, burn it, stamp on it, sh*t on it and throw it in your mouth. Women seek out men whose source of happiness come from other things in life like education, wealth, family, hobbies, sports etc.

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She isn't my soul source of happiness and I don't know why she would even think that.

Man, the fact that you couldn't sleep at 5am says it all. I mean, I've had many girls break up with me and I even had oneitis for many of them but it was never that bad on me when they broke up with me..

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I have a history of insomnia and she is very well aware of this. Heck, I've even had nights where I've woken up at 4am even though we had sex before we went to sleep.

I also had moderate but very long term depression for most of my life, she doesn't know about it, and that is most likely the cause of my insomnia.

At this point, there's no use trying to rationalize WHY she broke up with you. Take her words with NO grain of salt. What a woman does and syas are two COMPLETELY different things. What you should judge her by is her actions and the fact is she just doesn't feel attracted to you anymore. Plain and simple. What you should realize is that there are millions of other girls out there that you CAN and WILL meet. She's not the only girl for you. She was merely a step to finding a girl that will appreciate you for who you are not what you have or can do for her. A girl that will try to appeal to you and that will complement your lifestyle.

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Thank you for the encouragement. As I said before, she was my very first girlfriend, and I'm significantly older than the age where most guys get their first, so I'm still a bit scared that I won't be able to find another girl or that it will take 10 years for me to find somebody to date.

As for what she says and does, isn't she doing what she is saying? I don't understand what you mean.

So stop moping around, pick yourself up like a man and begin a new process. Sever ALL connections to that girl. Facebook account, Twitter account, old pictures, old belongings, phone number, texts, videos. EVERYTHING. That's the start of the recovery process. You can't move on if you still catch yourself looking at old pictures or spying on her Facebook account to see what she's up to. DELETE EVERY SINGLE THING. Don't EVER contact her again. NEVER, EVER. She's moved on and SO WILL YOU.

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I definitely do not want to delete every picture I have of her and us but I will put them away in a place where I won't look at them anymore.

Also it's going to be difficult to get rid of everything that reminds me of her because she bought me a couple of pans and other cooking items, helped me pick out curtains and pillows for my apartment. I don't want to throw everything away.

Like I said, there are millions of other girls out there but if you sit around moping, you will never meet them. Cast that oneitis demon out of your life from henceforth.

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It's not even been a full two weeks, and I have no interest in looking at other women right now. Though I do plan on meeting somebody sometime next year.

As for oneitis, she's the first "oneitis" girl that I've actually had sex with, or even kissed. Frankly I don't think she qualifies as a oneitis. She was my girlfriend, not some dream girl that I'd never be able to touch. I never thought she was the one nor did I think she was perfect. I just liked her a lot, realized how much happier I was when I had her in my life, and genuinely miss her.

As for oneitis, she's the first "oneitis" girl that I've actually had sex with, or even kissed. Frankly I don't think she qualifies as a oneitis. She was my girlfriend, not some dream girl that I'd never be able to touch. I never thought she was the one nor did I think she was perfect. I just liked her a lot, realized how much happier I was when I had her in my life, and genuinely miss her.

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I hear you and all of us on this forum have been through it. It sucked. Nevertheless, it's good you are here. Time to learn. Read the DJ bible to better understand what you did wrong and where she did wrong and how women think/act.

Usually people on this forum would tell you how to get her back and what to do but in this case, the only option for you is to help yourself by reading. Sorry to be so blunt, I know you're a good guy with a good heart. Unfortuneatly you have been born 100 year too late. Women act different nowadays with zero respect for good men like you. Start reading and catch up.

El Suave.

sterlingarcher said:

I don't know about anyone else, but the highlighted things are red flags and stood out to me.

1) You don't you don't know if you're going to love someone after only six months (especially after a three year relationship). And anyone who thinks you do has a skewed view of love/relationships.

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Yeah, I think that really applies to her.

She really enjoys Disney films and is a hardcore believer in true love being forever and all that junk.

And yes, I agree with you that she has no idea if she'll be in love with me down the line. She has admitted to way over-thinking things and I think that this is just another example.

Another thing is that the last time she was six months into a relationship, she was 18 years old. I seriously hope her idea of love has changed since she was 18. Especially staying in a relationship that had turned toxic.

IMO, if she didn't worry about if she would love me or not, we would still be together.

So is there a way I can tell her to chill the fuck out by not worrying about love and just see how things play out?

2) Any girl who is so gossipy when you aren't around that it leads her to break up with you because of convos with friends, was bound to do it eventually anyway. Can you imagine if one of her friends ever started not liking you for some reason? You could be a perfect guy and the minute a friend of hers gets a bug up her ass about you, your ex would be getting an earful until it lead to a breakup.

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I think she was just getting feedback from her friends about the relationship, not gossip.

3) Dating her that soon after such a long relationship was setting yourself up for failure.

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Meh, it was then or never.

We met in a college Salsa dance class, and didn't go on our first date till about two weeks after the semester ended, first date was around the end of May. If I waited any longer then we would have never gotten together.

If you aren't ready to give up on her, your best bet is to leave her alone. Yep, you read that correctly. You shouldn't be contacting her for a while (at least a month). In the mean time you should be improving yourself.

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I am most certainly not ready to give up on her.

I wish there was some way I can convince her that her feelings about love are misguided and to start over again with me. Or causing her to fall in love with me would be great too.

Really, I just think the main reason that things went downhill was because she was so busy, she was always tired and we rarely saw each other.

I've been no contact for a while now and I plan on staying that way, unless there is something I can do to make her realize she screwed up.

This is why I posted this thread here. Anybody can tell me to move on and go after other girls. Hell, that's what my mom says to do. I want something more potent than that.

Dadude548 said:

Yeah I've been starting to understand that it doesn't work very well to apply logic to a girls' feelings.

If she had broken up with me a long time ago in her mind, how come I didn't know it, and why were still having sex? There just weren't any signs I was able to pick up on.

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Sometimes you just don't know why. Women are very wishy-washy individuals. Most guys won't know why their GF broke up with them. In fact, you'll hear of married men saying they thought they had a perfect marriage up until their wife unexpectedly wanted a divorce.

I'd like to think she's telling the truth that she wants to be single and is not with another guy. She's told me several times that she is completely against cheating and it's not something she would ever do. Though if she is with another guy, I would instantly move on from her.

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My EX told me that she'd never cheat, too. Guess what? She was cheating on her EX with me, I found out. Is this your first gf?

She isn't my soul source of happiness and I don't know why she would even think that.

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Good.

I have a history of insomnia and she is very well aware of this. Heck, I've even had nights where I've woken up at 4am even though we had sex before we went to sleep.

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She doesn't care. In her eyes, it's a weakness. Anything wrong with you will always be a weakness in the eyes of a woman, whether she acknowledges it or not. Women feel a healthy level of empathy for people, so as long as they are not dating them. Women want a strong man.

Thank you for the encouragement. As I said before, she was my very first girlfriend, and I'm significantly older than the age where most guys get their first, so I'm still a bit scared that I won't be able to find another girl or that it will take 10 years for me to find somebody to date.

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If you keep that mentality, it'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy. There are plenty of girls. Did you tell her she was your first GF? If you did, that's a big no-no. Saying that means you are low-value in her eyes. You were nothing but a rebound it seems.

As for what she says and does, isn't she doing what she is saying? I don't understand what you mean.

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Always judge a woman by her actions, not her words.

I definitely do not want to delete every picture I have of her and us but I will put them away in a place where I won't look at them anymore.

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Yeah. You just want the security of knowing you can look at them whenever you feel like you're weak. Delete them. And her number.

Also it's going to be difficult to get rid of everything that reminds me of her because she bought me a couple of pans and other cooking items, helped me pick out curtains and pillows for my apartment. I don't want to throw everything away.

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My ex bought me stuff. Doesn't remind me of her. Do you think of your mom every time you wear on that sweater she got you?

It's not even been a full two weeks, and I have no interest in looking at other women right now. Though I do plan on meeting somebody sometime next year.

As for oneitis, she's the first "oneitis" girl that I've actually had sex with, or even kissed. Frankly I don't think she qualifies as a oneitis. She was my girlfriend, not some dream girl that I'd never be able to touch. I never thought she was the one nor did I think she was perfect. I just liked her a lot, realized how much happier I was when I had her in my life, and genuinely miss her.

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Once you meet other girls, you'll realize what you are feeling now is not warranted or logical.

I wish there was some way I can convince her that her feelings about love are misguided and to start over again with me. Or causing her to fall in love with me would be great too.

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Dude! WTH? No you can't CONVINCE her. ANY "LOGICAL" CONVINCING YOU TRY WILL HAVE THE OPPOSITE EFFECT.

Guys, I think OP is a hopeless case. Let him find out on his own, the hard way. Then he'll realize we were right.

Dadude548 said:

Yeah, I think that really applies to her.

She really enjoys Disney films and is a hardcore believer in true love being forever and all that junk.

And yes, I agree with you that she has no idea if she'll be in love with me down the line. She has admitted to way over-thinking things and I think that this is just another example.

Another thing is that the last time she was six months into a relationship, she was 18 years old. I seriously hope her idea of love has changed since she was 18. Especially staying in a relationship that had turned toxic.

IMO, if she didn't worry about if she would love me or not, we would still be together.

So is there a way I can tell her to chill the fuck out by not worrying about love and just see how things play out?

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There is literally no way you can tell her this. Anything you try to tell her will be ignored or further push her in the other direction at this point. With a woman; if she doesn't come to the conclusion on her own (or at least think she did) then she won't do it.

Dadude548 said:

I am most certainly not ready to give up on her.

I wish there was some way I can convince her that her feelings about love are misguided and to start over again with me. Or causing her to fall in love with me would be great too.

Really, I just think the main reason that things went downhill was because she was so busy, she was always tired and we rarely saw each other.

I've been no contact for a while now and I plan on staying that way, unless there is something I can do to make her realize she screwed up.

This is why I posted this thread here. Anybody can tell me to move on and go after other girls. Hell, that's what my mom says to do. I want something more potent than that.

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Any attempts you make to "convince" her or anything like that, will completely backfire. The only chance you have of getting her back is to go no contact for at least a month, and better yourself in that time.

Odds are pretty good that at some point she'll contact YOU. Women hate being ignored. She wants you to be all broken up about this and if you just go ghost on her she'll wonder. When she does get ahold of you or come back into your life, you need to be different. You need to be new and exciting again, not the same guy she remembers dumping before. Very small things like new clothes, new haircut, getting in better shape, etc achieve this.


PS
I don't care if you have any interest in other women or not. Get out there and talk to them anyway. It'll boost your confidence and likely word will get around to your ex that you aren't moping around like some chump. That will increase her interest in you, and increase your value in her mind.

sterlingarcher said:

Odds are pretty good that at some point she'll contact YOU. Women hate being ignored. She wants you to be all broken up about this and if you just go ghost on her she'll wonder. When she does get ahold of you or come back into your life, you need to be different. You need to be new and exciting again, not the same guy she remembers dumping before. Very small things like new clothes, new haircut, getting in better shape, etc achieve this.

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I agree with everything you said besides what you might've implied. He can fvck her again and have fun with her if she contacts him. But he should not get back into a relationship with her. It's always best to start a new relationship than to try again with a failed relationship. More often than not trying over with a failed relationship leads to the same result: failure.

Really, I just think the main reason that things went downhill was because she was so busy, she was always tired and we rarely saw each other.

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Girls who are highly attracted to you will find the time to hang out with you as often as possible. What don't you get about her not being highly attracted to you in the first place? In fact what don't you get about her having ZERO attraction to you now? Sorry if I sound mean or insulting, but I am trying to help.

OP, I highly recommend these two books. They will help you a lot.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Rational-...qid=1387268990&sr=8-1&keywords=rationale+male

http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-Super...2&sr=8-1&keywords=the+way+of+the+superior+man

clearly she met someone else. there is nothing else to say.

Leave that Punk Ass B*tch the F*ck Alone

Dadude548 said:

Does anybody have an idea what happened with her, and does it make any since for her to suddenly dump me when there were no issues as at all, with no warning or red flags.

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There were issues and red flags, you either weren't AWARE of or IGNORED them. However, if you were dumped out of the blue, you need to internalize and always remember what Rosebudd said about situations like this,

When a Hoe Leaves Your Ass, Don’t Try to Figure It Out.

“All women are fickle. Hoes are no different. Women function on 99.9% emotions. B*tches leave for the dumbest reasons or no reason at all. Least of all the reason you think it is. And I’ll tell you something else, if you know why the hoe left, you weren’t pimpin’. If a real pimp spots a problem he’s obligated to solve it. That’s why when a hoe leaves you’re not suppose to know why.”-Rosebudd the American Pimp by John D!ckson

Dadude548 said:

And of course, is there any way I can get her back?

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Question, this b*tch disrespected the game, your relationship, your manhood, and the pimpin' and most of all YOU,so why would you want her back? If she were to start f*ckin' with you again, the initial problems that lead her to believe that you were a weak b*tch nigga aren't resolved, all this weak ass hoe is going to do is continue to tread upon the path of disrespect.

You could possibly get her back, but you have to be on that Steve Austin, Bionic, $6,000,000 Man," status, meaning that you have to be "better than you were before...better...stronger...faster..". For that punk a$$ b*tch to choose you, and I'm paraphrasing the great Bishop Don Magic Juan from the classic documentary, American Pimp, " It's gonna have to look glamour like to her, cuz she'll she you ridin', ya dig. Snake skin down to flo', ya dig, hat 'n shoes to match, Diamonds on fangas, watches on hum." Plus it would help to have a broad that is badder than her in every conceivable way. The thing is if you've put forth the effort to to do things required in requisite 180 to regain this scandalous a$$ b*tch's interest, YOU'LL be a different person and more than likely you won't even be attracted to her, especially if you've come up on a better a chick, not only physically, but one that is also a better person.

I'll give it to you straight. Please don't take any of this personally.

She wants to be single so she can go horing with her friends. She'll be on the prowl for some tall tatooed bad boy New Years' Eve and/or she'll be the "naughty Santa" at Xmas Eve.

I don't think she's with her ex or that she even necessarily cheated. But sadly, she is looking to up her notch count.

I know that you "haven't given up," and I can understand you feeling that way, but it's a moot point. You don't get a vote. She dumped you.

I'm sorry man, but there is nothing else you can do WITH HER. What you can and should do is:

1. Work out
2. Step up your salsa game to the MAX
3. Don't say another word about this relationship*

*By trying to get her back, despite the futility of it, you are hurting your reputation with other girls. You don't want your ex-gf to be telling the other girls that you are being clingy, desperate, or a stalker. Having had a cute gf (even if it didn't work out) gives you bonus points with the other chicks. BUT, continuing to "try to get back together" is DESTROYING your rep in the social circle. Other chicks will be afraid to date or F you if they hear through gossip that you are clinging to your ex. I know it hurts, but you have no choice but to walk away and accept it.

Maximus gave you some great advice. I numbered some decent tips for you above also. Good luck man.

Wow, there are some serious characters on this forum. Guys who seem to almost hate women and certainly don't trust them.

I do not think she left me for another guy. Maybe I'm being naive and trusting, but that's just something I want to believe.

El Suave said:

I hear you and all of us on this forum have been through it. It sucked. Nevertheless, it's good you are here. Time to learn. Read the DJ bible to better understand what you did wrong and where she did wrong and how women think/act.

Usually people on this forum would tell you how to get her back and what to do but in this case, the only option for you is to help yourself by reading. Sorry to be so blunt, I know you're a good guy with a good heart. Unfortuneatly you have been born 100 year too late. Women act different nowadays with zero respect for good men like you. Start reading and catch up.

El Suave.

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I've been on the forum a long time and this isn't my primary account. I used to be very active few years ago and I read the DJ Bible at least twice. Of course I was in a completely different place and mindset back then. Now that I've actually had a GF, certain things will make more sense to me.