Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

I'm completely lost...

D

DJx420

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2008
Messages
99
Reaction score
0
So heres my situation. I started a thread about 4 weeks ago about finally SEALING THE DEAL with the girl who've I've wanted for 3 years of my life. We go to the same school and hang with the same people, and for the past 3 years we've hooked up randomly (like once or twice a month). No sex, but everything else. This past spring break (about a month ago), we were in Mexico and on the last night she begged me to go back with her to her room and I did. Finally went all the way and it was AMAZING. Since then we've been hooking up and talking pretty regularly which leads me to this thread...

I don't know how I should escalate this. Like I said I've REALLY liked this girl for the past 3 years and am extremely happy to see my persistance finally pay off, however its a delicate situation because her group of girl friends and my group of guy friends hang out ALL THE TIME. On top of that, this has been a HUGE LONG process so I feel like I need to do this slowly and methodically.

With that being said, I don't want to push this too hard on her so I want to "just roll with it" and see where it goes, however I want to help the direction toward becoming something serious.

What do you guys feel is a good plan of action for me to accomplish this. So far I have this: Next time she spends the night, when we wake up in the morning see if she wants to get some breakfast (instant-date), or just hang out for a little.

I know theres definitely a better way to approach this but for whatever reason, I can't figure it out and thats where you guys come in. Thanks in advance!
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

S

stayfly

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 30, 2006
Messages
207
Reaction score
4
take her away for a weekend and make it awesome

spending that much time alone together will give you the best idea if both of you want to be in a real relationship together or not
 
K

kingsam

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2010
Messages
989
Reaction score
13
Location
England, baby!
DJx420 said:
So heres my situation. I started a thread about 4 weeks ago about finally SEALING THE DEAL with the girl who've I've wanted for 3 years of my life. We go to the same school and hang with the same people, and for the past 3 years we've hooked up randomly (like once or twice a month). No sex, but everything else. This past spring break (about a month ago), we were in Mexico and on the last night she begged me to go back with her to her room and I did. Finally went all the way and it was AMAZING. Since then we've been hooking up and talking pretty regularly which leads me to this thread...

I don't know how I should escalate this. Like I said I've REALLY liked this girl for the past 3 years and am extremely happy to see my persistance finally pay off, however its a delicate situation because her group of girl friends and my group of guy friends hang out ALL THE TIME. On top of that, this has been a HUGE LONG process so I feel like I need to do this slowly and methodically.

With that being said, I don't want to push this too hard on her so I want to "just roll with it" and see where it goes, however I want to help the direction toward becoming something serious.

What do you guys feel is a good plan of action for me to accomplish this. So far I have this: Next time she spends the night, when we wake up in the morning see if she wants to get some breakfast (instant-date), or just hang out for a little.

I know theres definitely a better way to approach this but for whatever reason, I can't figure it out and thats where you guys come in. Thanks in advance!
Click to expand...
ONitis for three years?? im really hoping that you have been seeing other women in this time (even open to serious wiht these other woman), and just forgot to mention it...
i guessing you mean "hooking up ever since" as "having sex ever since"?
so you wer ein the "makeout zone" for about 3 years but you were never good enougth for a RL/anything aerious, and you have just progressed to FVck buddy...
you persistance hasnt paid off yet, because you wanta RL wiht this girl and you dont have it yet!

id say your an object of sexual convenience for her, most likely i bet when she finds a new guy she likes "properly" and 'really digs' you be dropped for him...
you have a chance, but its slim - one question to think about is why are you suddenly good enough for her now instead of when you met 3 yrs ago or even 2 or 1 year ago???
 
Last edited:
E

EFFORT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2003
Messages
2,115
Reaction score
45
Location
USA
DJx420 said:
So heres my situation. I started a thread about 4 weeks ago about finally SEALING THE DEAL with the girl who've I've wanted for 3 years of my life. We go to the same school and hang with the same people, and for the past 3 years we've hooked up randomly (like once or twice a month). No sex, but everything else. This past spring break (about a month ago), we were in Mexico and on the last night she begged me to go back with her to her room and I did. Finally went all the way and it was AMAZING. Since then we've been hooking up and talking pretty regularly which leads me to this thread...

I don't know how I should escalate this. Like I said I've REALLY liked this girl for the past 3 years and am extremely happy to see my persistance finally pay off, however its a delicate situation because her group of girl friends and my group of guy friends hang out ALL THE TIME. On top of that, this has been a HUGE LONG process so I feel like I need to do this slowly and methodically.

With that being said, I don't want to push this too hard on her so I want to "just roll with it" and see where it goes, however I want to help the direction toward becoming something serious.

What do you guys feel is a good plan of action for me to accomplish this. So far I have this: Next time she spends the night, when we wake up in the morning see if she wants to get some breakfast (instant-date), or just hang out for a little.

I know theres definitely a better way to approach this but for whatever reason, I can't figure it out and thats where you guys come in. Thanks in advance!
Click to expand...

Don't ask her about trying to be serious/having a relationship, you'll most likely blow yourself out. Asking "how" do you take things more serious indicates the your not in a position to be in relationship. She should be the one pushing you to be in the relationship with her not the other way around. Your also putting way to much importance on this which will sabotage you as well. Enjoy the time you have with her, but also do some more approaches even to just get blown out, to keep yourself sharp and less needy.
 
S

starplayer

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 18, 2009
Messages
226
Reaction score
14
Just fvck her. Seriously, just have fun with this one.

If a relationship comes from this, SHE has to be the one to want it. SHE has to be the one trying to get YOU to commit to a relationship because she sees YOU as the prize. A woman wants to catch a guy and get him to commit.

NEVER try to get a girl into a relationship. For a relationship to happen it must be pushed by her - and then if she's REALLY lucky you agree.

Remember, a man who gets into a relationship too easily is seen in much the same way as a woman who gets into bed too easily - low value and worthless.

If you get into a relationship with a girl make sure she is the best of MANY options, not your ONLY option. Go into a relationship from a place of strength, not desperation.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

M

Mantis Toboggan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
859
Reaction score
58
stayfly said:
take her away for a weekend and make it awesome

spending that much time alone together will give you the best idea if both of you want to be in a real relationship together or not
Click to expand...
Jesus. What are you, a 55 year old soccer mom?

My advice is to continue to be the guy who she was attracted to in the first place. Don't become too emotional or too available. You cannot ask a women to be in a relationship with you. It never works like that. She needs perceive YOU as being the catch, and her as the one who is chasing you.

The only thing you can do to escalate her feelings towards you is to continue being awesome. Don't turn into some lame character from a romantic movie. Be a man. She wants that. No matter how lovey-dovey she gets. Trust me...she wants a MAN. Not a teddy bear. If that means you don't talk to her everyday. If that means you occasionally have to put her in her place. She wants it that way. Even if she verbally says otherwise...she instinctively wants it that way.
 
D

drak_ool

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2007
Messages
764
Reaction score
20
First question to ask yourself: what was SHE up to in those 3 years? Who was she seeing? If she is a hot girl, I doubt she was not getting any action. Maybe she had a bf, who she broke up with, and now you're the rebound guy. I don't know what it is, I'm just saying you need to find out.

Second: if you want a LTR and she just wants a fvck buddy, it's not gonna work out. Remember, the power in a relationship is in the hands of the person who is most ready to walk away. So you gotta act casual about it until she is ready to commit and she brings up the topic first. Otherwise, you've lost before it even started...
 
D

DJx420

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2008
Messages
99
Reaction score
0
Hey guys, thanks for all the reponses they are definitely helping. Sorry I didn't explain myself to the fullest.. I'll try to do that now.

Over the past 3 years I DID NOT HAVE ONEITIS. I accepted the fact that we felt differently about each other and I was definitely seeing other women, just always knew deep down that I wanted to be with this girl. As to why I'm "good enough" for her to fvck now, thats a question I've been asking myself since it finally happened. The only answer I can come up with is this: Were seniors in college. After 3 years of this, we both had to be wondering if we'd be good in bed together...So SHE pushed for it in Mexico and like I said it was AMAZING. It was intense, lasted a long time, and we both agreed that it surpassed both our expectations.

We got back here to school and I could tell that those feelings carried over. Yes Ive been texting her every now and then to see if she wants to come over (mostly when were drunk), and for the most part she has been. Shes also been texting me to see if she can come over etc...

So I think were both feeling pretty much the same.

I do know not to push this into a real relationship right now, which is why I kind of want to "lead her" into her pushing me into it. To be completely honest, I'd be MORE than happy if this just turned into a Fvck buddy situation, but I'd be MUCH happier if it went somewhere else.

Once again thanks for the help!
 
D

Donnie Darko

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2010
Messages
145
Reaction score
8
You have been a regular hookup with a girl for 3 years without fvcking her until spring break of your senior year in college. I think the fact that you are seniors in college preparing to graduate is key information. I've seen it happen all the time during the last year of college. Girls decide to have flings with the guys they always wondered about before they graduate and move on to the real world. In these types of situations I would recommend just keep enjoying her as a fvck buddy and don't expect a LTR from her.
 
J

Julius_Seizeher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2009
Messages
1,233
Reaction score
76
Location
Midwest
Smoke more weed. All your questions will be answered.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

C

Chromeo

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
299
Reaction score
8
DJx420 said:
),

I do know not to push this into a real relationship right now, which is why I kind of want to "lead her" into her pushing me into it. To be completely honest, I'd be MORE than happy if this just turned into a Fvck buddy situation, but I'd be MUCH happier if it went somewhere else.

Once again thanks for the help!
Click to expand...
this is pretty much where I'm lost too, I can't lead that girl I want into a relationship. Or is that the whole problem in itself? Men should not want to pursue any woman until the treat him to the T and beg to be his...? There's a few girls I would have had liked to have record of being my gf tho..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top