A Woman’s Value in Time

[BadBoy89]

Article below:

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https://medium.com/in-sync/a-womans-value-in-time-b0c0ebacec22

As women, we are worshipped in our twenties and then with a flip of a switch, we instantly become outliers in our thirties. Even the coveted and famous Korean skincare is mostly aimed at women in their twenties. I dare you to try and find an anti-aging line from Korean skincare lines and you can clearly see that the skincare range is very limited and the price is ridiculously exorbitant. Again another way for society to punish us by pricing anti-aging creams at such a high price (yes I’m talking to you Chanel Sublimage Creme that costs 400 dollars even at Costco!)

I remember something that my mother said to me many years ago that has stuck with me to this day. She once said, “A few years ago when I walked into a room, all eyes would turn towards me, now they turn to you”. I didn’t understand it at the time because to me, she was always the most beautiful woman in any room. Today, as a woman in her late thirties, I understand that what she was referring to wasn’t a beauty, it was a youth. Society judges women too harshly. Our worth is linked directly to the number of candles on our birthday cake. In our youth and prime, we are expected to contribute to society based on our looks along with our brains. As if with beauty and youth somehow a woman’s brain would be filled with knowledge and could solve all of the world’s problems and then some. Then when we reach a certain maturity and have the wisdom to contribute knowledge, we are deemed old and irrelevant.

Amongst ourselves, women champion each other, but oftentimes, I don’t see the same support being given by men towards women. I’ve had so many male friends who complained that their wives never bounced back to their pre-baby weight after childbirth. Because as an everyday woman, we are expected to bounce back like Hollywood A-listers and their endless armies of personal trainers, nutritionists, nannies, and stylists. It’s as if it was written in their marriage vows “To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, unless you get fat and flabby. In that case all bets are off”. Society, in particular men, often give women unrealistic expectation of aging. We’re supposed to look like our children’s siblings, we have to still be able to fit into our pre-childbirth clothes and on top of all that, our bodies have to somehow defy gravity, no lines, wrinkles, or sagging.

Which brings me to my question, why is it that the same standards don’t apply to men? My male friends who are my age, I’ve noticed, often have a beer belly, a Kangaroo pouch, a one pack. However, you want to call it they have it. My girlfriends and I have to color our hair to hide our greys and yet men are free to walk around with the Clooney salt and pepper hair that somehow society has deemed adds to their charisma. Let’s not forget with the salt and pepper hair comes the kangaroo pouch and yet I don’t see society judging these men the way they judge women. Our whole lives, no matter who we are, and what our accomplishments are, women are constantly put in a real-life beauty pageant and an E! Fashion Police special of who wore it better. And to tell you the truth, it is exhausting.

Society has put the most impossible standard for women to live up to. We are demanded to have the maturity of a 40-year-old woman in the body of a 20-year-old girl. Men want the ease, wit, and charm of Goldie Hawn in the body of Zendaya. Yes, that can happen, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to require a trip to South Korea, 100 thousand dollars, and the best surgeon you can get an appointment with on short notice. On top of that, we also have to be soccer moms, gourmet chefs, with a meticulously clean home, fluffy laundry and don’t forget, active members of the PTA. Society, especially the male species need to stop having unrealistic expectations of women.

Jennifer Garner once said that she can work really hard on her body and would still look like a woman who's had three kids and she’s ok with that. Technology has done wonders in our lives and I don’t just mean with apps such as Amazon, Postmates, Lyft, or Instacart. I mean bringing conversations to the table that matters around the world. It may have taken all of humanity to get to the 21st century and Instagram and tik-tok but for once, I feel uplifted and hopeful that I can age gracefully as the universe intended. I am able to see so many women all over the world who are embracing their age and not caring how society will accept them, which in turn causes society to embrace women of all ages more openly.

For years I was obsessed with looking young. I would trim a few years off my age when people asked for fear of being labeled “old”. Today many women around the world are embracing their age such as Gwen Stefani and J-Lo who are in their 50s and killing it. Even Jane Fonda is a constant inspiration that growing old doesn’t mean growing useless. They are paving the way for women like me to follow suit and embrace the fact that age is really nothing but a number. We, along with our bodies and minds are what we make of it. A healthy diet, exercise, and a good night’s sleep are as good as the fountain of youth. With the magic of the internet, we can constantly upgrade our skills. The age of productivity for women is now endless. Even Ruth Bader Ginsburg was still crushing it with her weights workout well into her 80s.

Women have proven time and time again, that our age and looks have nothing to do with the contributions we can make and the performance we can deliver. Aging is a part of life and a natural occurrence, please stop punishing women for maturing and embrace us for the wisdom, knowledge, and love that we have to offer.

With age comes maturity is a very real thing. Not only personally but professionally. Those endless years of toiling away really worked. On a professional level, I see that my girlfriends and I are on good ground. But on a personal level, I often wonder how strong our footing is. With the addition of candles on our birthday cakes, the soft lines start creeping in on our visage. With men, aging comes as a sign of maturity, authority, and power. George Clooney is known for his salt and pepper hair, but for a woman in her late thirties, showing grey roots is a faux pas. It is considered a taboo like the last season Prada shoes Elle Woods wore in Legally Blonde.

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Thoughts?

 

[Prepostereax]

Not another female power opinion piece.
For every statement, you could write it wildly differently and it would read true.

George Clooney is known for his charm, charisma, which is totally irrespective of his hair.
Ruth BG is crushing it in a coffin.
If all it took to retain youth was 100k and a trip to SKor, legions of women would be remortgaging their homes. No, it takes diet and exercise and lifestyle changes, which requires more discipline than the average woman possesses. And probably a different approach on life which for many would require a personality transplant.

Just a rant from someone who's still trying to compete with girls a generation or three younger.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Thoughts?

To maintain its effectiveness, bolding should be used sparingly.

That's the only thought I have for now.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Another day, another whiner. What about you @BadBoy89 , do you have thoughts?

 

[The Duke]

This is why i am glad I am a man and judged for what I bring to the table vs my looks. My shelf life is far longer than an attractive woman's.

 

[Hal9000]

Another pity party piece from a woman who likely has more dating options than 99% of men of any age but is salty because she doesn't get quite as much attention as she did when she was at her peak in her early 20s. Narcissist much?

 

[Arete]

I have the unpopular opinion that womens "shelf life" could be far higher if they didn't use copious amounts of skin-damaging products, aka skin"care." I believe this is one of the main reasons why we men age incomparably better on average.

Did anyone ever wonder why there are outliers in both directions?

• Relatively, often you see men at around 35yo, looking like 25,
• yet also relatively often you see 25yo women looking like 35.

Why is this?

The only significant variable in the habits of the two genders is the vastly different amount of skincare they use. Men might use some moisture cream after showering if at all, compare that to the arsenal of products most women use. Of course, many studies are sponsored by big corporations to put some counter-evidence in place. "No, these chemicals are totally good for you long-term, we swear!"

If they didn't, women would demand drastically higher standards, which would cause demand for natural cosmetics to skyrocket. Fully natural products would boom like never before.

But who would lose out? Just some examples:

• Surgeons
• Dietary supplements
• ~95% of cosmetic manufacturers (market share of conventional cosmetics)

The issue is, truly natural cosmetics are magnitudes more expensive to manufacture. They also have a expiration date. And they have a consistency and smell that is often not on par with chemical products.

There is not as much money to be made from that, as the profit margins are way smaller. Chemical ingredients can be made so ridiculously cheap, most people would refuse to believe it. It's almost comical to think some brands sell this stuff at exorbitant prices and women buy it, just to hit the wall ever faster in the long run.

For men, this is just as unfortunate, as women could look like they are in their prime for much longer, just like we do.

 

[Tilex]

She lived in easy mode her entire life and then complains when she started living in hard mode when she aged much older.

But she never understood that guys live the complete opposite of this. Guys start in hard mode when they're young, and then reach easy mode when they're much older.

I guarantee if she was a guy, this blog would've been written in her early 20's.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

We are all getting older. It is what it is. While I am all for keeping up one's appearance @Prepostereax is absolutely correct in saying that many women (and men too) lack the self discipline to live the lifestyle that best maintains a youthful appearance.

Those lifestyle choices (eating healthy foods in moderation, sun avoidance, light drinking or no drinking, smoking avoidance, sufficient sleep, proper exercise etc.) require a long time horizon (like investing financially for retirement) and consistency, and like retirement investing you will not see appreciable results in the early years.

But over decades healthy habits beat out good genetics.

And I agree with @Atete too. Way too much stuff out there being slathered on faces by women. I'm too lazy & cheap for expensive creams etc. Often I skip make up, and I never wear sunscreen. I wear a hat often to shade my face and avoid sun exosure at peak times, but those are healthy habits.

I also wear sunglasses when outside to protect my eyes. In time we will ALL develop cataracts. Best to delay that as long as possible!

 

[BaronOfHair]

@BadBoy89

"Men want the ease, wit, and charm of Goldie Hawn in the body of Zendaya"

The former hasn't been especially witty or charming since Clinton's first term in The Oval Office, and I remain perplexed by the lust many express for the latter. As for the overall gist of that article:

No one except film critics worshipped, say, Heather Matarrazo or Fairuza Balk, even when both were in their 20s. RL is always a smidge more complicated than conventional pseudo-wisdom would have us believe

 

[zekko]

i thought it was interesting. I don't see it as whining, I see it as acknowledgement. I've often thought how difficult it must be for women as they age, they go from these exotic creatures of beauty and desire to becoming mere mortals, and at a fairly young age at that. Overall, as a gender, I've been impressed with how well they handle that. As men, I'm not sure we would do as well, but we have different problems to face.

 

[Arete]

Advice from the old lady:

We are all getting older. It is what it is. While I am all for keeping up one's appearance @Prepostereax is absolutely correct in saying that many women (and men too) lack the self discipline to live the lifestyle that best maintains a youthful appearance.

Those lifestyle choices (eating healthy foods in moderation, sun avoidance, light drinking or no drinking, smoking avoidance, sufficient sleep, proper exercise etc.) require a long time horizon (like investing financially for retirement) and consistency, and like retirement investing you will not see appreciable results in the early years.

But over decades healthy habits beat out good genetics.

And I agree with @Atete too. Way too much stuff out there being slathered on faces by women. I'm too lazy & cheap for expensive creams etc. Often I skip make up, and I never wear sunscreen. I wear a hat often to shade my face and avoid sun exosure at peak times, but those are healthy habits.

I also wear sunglasses when outside to protect my eyes. In time we will ALL develop cataracts. Best to delay that as long as possible!

I agree with the rest, but sun exposure has only severe aging effects in some cases, like if the person has dry skin. Typical modern idiocy is showering in the morning with lots of shampoo and going into the sun on the same day.

Or in other words, most people don't need to be as careful of sun exposure as they think, as long as they avoid this.

We have some stuff on our skin that's called sebum. This oily substance decreases as we age. If someone is young, it is refilled rapidly and that person can easily get away by showering before going into the sun. But if the person is older, this typically results in signs of aging, even if sunburn never occurred.

There is also the part that many women are not aware that synthetic skin care has a strong tendency to clog the pores, but that's a whole story on its own. It can't be properly cured with any products. The best you could do is use large amounts of natural oil high in polyunsaturated fatty acids, but the issue is, this has various side effects as well. It works by making the outer skin layer unstable. Another way that technically works is using strong exfoliants. It doesn't matter if it's a physical or chemical type, but it has similar side effects. The skin struggles to regenerate after it has been unclogged. The best way to fix this is sweating regularly. Could be sports, hot baths or simply living in a hot climate.

There is also that about sunglasses. They ironically cause light sensitivity despite what manufacturers may claim. Although this is very individual.

But back to sun rays concerning aging on skin, let's assume someone is 30-40yo or maybe older. Maybe that person has even had a tendency to dry skin before passing that age range. Showering overly often and specifically strong shampoos should be avoided. The body can take a long time to regenerate the protective outer layer of the skin.

This can also quite easily be confirmed. Here is an experiment for anyone curious:

1. Get a smartwatch with a optical sensor
2. Clean the spot you're wearing it on thoroughly. Ideally, use barebone soap without any integrated moisturizing.
3. Put the Watch on.

After a while, many people will experience a burning sensation, sometimes even with visible reddening. But it of course depends on the skin type. If you have light skin, this will be more noticeable.

I would even argue, many people that are "sensitive" to the sun could "cure" their conditions by simply adjusting the timing of their showers and the products they use.