Is it Black Pill to think that every woman in a LTR/Marriage settled

[CornbreadFed]

To my knowledge, most of my exes are either engaged or married. If I wanted to, I could get them to cheat on their spouse for me. Fortunately, I will not because I’ve moved on from those relationships and have more productive goals and endeavors to pursue. However, The guy is completely unaware of this and thinks he married the love his life. Since women get so much attention from men, they can be in the position of wanting of what they cannot or couldn’t have.

 

[BPH]

I don't think that's exclusive to women.

For example, I have a friend who told me he felt pressured to propose to his girl and wasn't sure if she was the one - but he knew SHE wanted it and felt like he should.

They are now married and have a kid. Whether or not he's happy about it behind closed doors, who knows...

 

[The Duke]

I've had two of those. Makes me shake my head when I think about it. Def a lot of people settle and develop regret that they often hide.

 

[Clockwerk50]

A person cheats only when two factors align: opportunity and reason. Opportunity is
straightforward, but there are tons of reasons ranging from emotional neglect, resentment, and unmet needs to an ego boost or a craving for validation.

You could debate that men often have more internal reasons to cheat but fewer opportunities, while women have tons of opportunities due to male attention, but fewer reasons to act on them.

Nonetheless, even if you think that every woman in an LTR or marriage settled, the two factors still have to align for each individual person. The reality is, unless these women have a personal, active reason within themselves to do it, opportunity alone won't make them cross that line.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@CornbreadFed "If I wanted to, I could get them to cheat on their spouse for me"

What's your basis for this conclusion?


@The Duke "Makes me shake my head when I think about it. Def a lot of people settle and develop regret that they often hide"

Similar to what's said here 34:00-35:22

Spend half an hour with almost someone who APPEARS to be living the proverbial dream, dig beneath the surface of that facade, and you'll more often not discover that things aren't going especially well

 

[zekko]

I don't think it's black pill to think "Every woman in a marriage settled"..
I think it's a PUA myth. PUA types set themselves up (in their head) as the only desirable men on the planet.
Which is not to say it never happens, or even that it's rare.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Exceptions make the rules

 

[Hal9000]

It really depends on how you define settle. If you are waiting for the perfect woman/man and refuse to accept anything else then you're likely to never settle down with anyone. If you have a list of expectations of say 10 things and you end up with someone who fulfills 8 or 9 of them are you settling or just being realistic about the human race in that nobody will ever be perfect for the years or decades you may end up together?

I think we've all known people who settled by basically just giving up and shacking up with whoever was available at that time, no matter how terrible they may be. However thats a lot different than admitting the perfect person, who will stay perfect for 30 years, may not be out there roaming the planet and you'd rather take a chance on someone that checks 90% of your boxes instead.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Yes it is black pill.
How can you be so sure you could make them ALL cheat on their husbands?
Are you a Chad tier looking guy or something?

 

[zekko]

It really depends on how you define settle. If you are waiting for the perfect woman/man and refuse to accept anything else then you're likely to never settle down with anyone.

Life is about compromising. How many guys can say they married their first choice? More likely, your first choice wasn't even a good choice, because most people have to fail and learn through experience what/who is actually good for them.

 

[quodlibet]

The world has about a 1-to-1 gender ratio. That means, there are a nearly equal number of men and women.

That means, it's impossible "all women are taken" unless all men are also taken.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Most attractive people are in a relationship. Not all. But most. Good looking people get snapped up quick.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Maybe youre just delusional…?

 

[corrector]

Fortunately, I will not because I’ve moved on from those relationships and have more productive goals and endeavors to pursue.

Exactly, like making thread.

 

[plumber]

by definition a contract is an agreement or settlement template.

without it, everyone will wake up every day and renegotiate. that's why we have contracts so that we can have stability.

i can save money an a project by hire daily workers... but.. i have to really pay attention or i will lose bad...

look at marriage with that lens. do i renegotiate every day for the benefits or do i reference the contract.

ok, so is the contract enforceable... and no it is not really enforceable in our cultures.

so yes looks like she settled. but the twist is that its well known that the contract can not be enforced. so she did not settle, she just secured anything that can be enforced.

and then continues to negotiate... every day for the benefits.

for those that have had women that insist on marriage. must look really deep... why would they do that. they usually say its for security... but why would that be needed if they plan to continue to provide benefits that are a good bargain for the other party. the reasons men marry women, can not be enforced (in our current cultures) yet all of the reasons women marry men are enforced.

she does not settle, only he does.