"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Should I quit my job for a lack of respect?

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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rambambram

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Don't worry about HR. They will back down the moment you CC them in an email (from your personal email address) to the legal department and ask legal if you should lawyer up in this case? Then you explain the case.

Play a little dumb, don't get personal (although one would be tempted if colleagues/management also get beyond professional), have plausible deniability ("I'm just asking if I need a lawyer for this. I don't know any of this!!?"), stay f*cking neutral in your wording of that email (don't give them any little emotional nook or cranny to grab their dirty fingers/tongue on).

Companies - especially bigger ones - have an hierarchy. Your boss? Also just has a boss! Who doesn't want 'trouble' from his/her employee (your boss, not you). A couple of times have I emailed a CEO (somewhere in another city in their HQ) of the company I worked for, because of this same sh1t. Never ever did this lead to trouble for me. Most of these times everything worked out, I stayed there, did my work, had nice social contacts with most of the crew, and the little b1tches from management/colleagues got nice and respectful or hated me in silence (I rather have them hate me in silence than mock me in the open). Other times it didn't feel right for me afterward, and then I left.

You don't do this for revenge, you do this for your own peace of mind. I sense you are not willing to brush your described situation off as just a little joking, which signals to me that it is about a flavor of disrespect in these interactions (which I understand is something you want to fix). The above solution lets them know - in a plausible deniable way (so you increase the chance of still having your job) - that you are able to f*ck harder with them and you can touch them where it hurts. The thing about this disrespect is that people are trying you, and if they sense they get away with it, it will come back at some moment, probably a little nastier even. And in the meantime you constantly don't feel good about it. It's better to nip it in the bud quickly.

I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from we have pretty good labor law and everybody in management knows that. If you signal that you also know (or that you're thinking of lawyering up, whether you actually do that or not), they think twice about messing with you.

Don't apply this advice as is. I'm not you, and you're not me. If you think you can deal with this by focusing on positive stuff and ignore the disrespect, by all means try that. I tried that sometimes, but it just didn't work for me. You might be different. I do know about people who honestly can deal with disrespect like that, while also sincerely staying positive about that workplace. I'm not one of them, I can't stay positive if that sh1t happens around me.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Maybe you should figure out why this is occurring first because it seems like this would just result in it happening again elsewhere.
 

Cheeky_James

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Like @taiyuu_otoko said.
This is just office politics and power dynamics in action.
Look into verbal frame control Lit and prepare some verbal comebacks to such situations.
The best you can do is hold your ground /show a backbone and don't let them one-up you too much.
But as they are mgt, you are still subordinate. So know that..

Btw it not isolated to your office/workplace. Its in every workplace.
 
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