"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Meritocracy does not exist

jhonny9546

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Hi friends, Johnny here.

Further down the road, every man will understand some things.
How important was it for you to realize that meritocracy doesn't exist, that is, that putting in the effort doesn't necessarily lead to a certain result, but rather that nepotism exists, and that people with power, money or any other advantage will justify the fact you need to "work hard" on the things you want to achieve?

Meritocracy only exist with oneself.
Think about going out and working out.
After committing, doing the hard work, you will see progress and you'll be paid back by the things you've done.
That is the only meritocracy you'll see.

That said, how have you managed not to be discouraged and maintain "commitment" in your life, even though you know it's limited by the concept that meritocracy doesn't exist?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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quodlibet

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It doesn't exist only because "merit" is subjective.

At a business, you can be seen as a great employee or a **** employee. Just a different point of view.

Same with dating and women. No two women will see you as the same person.
 

quodlibet

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same thing with women, they know very well whom are the good guys for LTR, but for example if she has a high ego she would prefer a lesser guy that does what she wants him to do, rather than a better guy who will challenge her
Ask two women what makes a guy good for LTR and you'll get five answers.

The world is full of subjectivity. You just have to accept it.

My current girlfriend thinks I'm "very attractive" physically. I have no clue what she's talking about and certainly most women won't agree with her.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Meritocracy absolutely exists.

It only doesn't exist inside some kind of fantasy world where things are fair.

The people who can game the system in their favor, for whatever reason, do so.

Those who don't complain that it's too difficult and it's not fair.

Live has always been a vicious Pareto distribution death match among primates, all who want to get into upper echelons of society.

Those who define the rules win the game.

That's meritocracy in it's rawest, apex-predatory form.

And guess what?

Ladies and money are attracted to those who claw their ways to the top of the food chain.

Nobody cares too much about those down at the bottom who are always complaining that it isn't fair.
 

quodlibet

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what do you want her to tell you, that you are not good looking? Haha

quite sure you told plenty of girls that you were meh about that they are sexy or beautiful or just said yes when they asked you if you find them beautiful
Bro, you seriously missed the point. The point was, everybody's dating value is highly subjective. So there's no such thing as "merit" because everyone will judge you differently.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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BaronOfHair

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@jhonny9546 "That said, how have you managed not to be discouraged and maintain "commitment" in your life, even though you know it's limited by the concept that meritocracy doesn't exist?"

I realized that "merit" encompasses far more than how much effort one puts into an activity, and stopped expecting anyone to pat me on the head, in exchange for how hard I worked
 

jhonny9546

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No two women will see you as the same person.
If they weren't from the same social circle.
If they were, then they'd think the same thing.

You won't be given a managerial position unless they really need someone to fix the big problem and they have no other choice.

Otherwise, they will prefer the bad employee who is manageable and does what he's told to do.
Listen, that's exactly the point.

I'd rather be looked down upon, be a lower rank, but I know that without me your company is out of business, than be a brownie who does things like a good guy.

That's why these men have high positions in companies, but also wives who don't respect them.
It's all about their feminine behavior that's rewarded in the workplace (seduction, games, tricks, taking advantage, backstabbing), while masculine behavior is rewarded in your inner peace and only with a few people who really know you.

they know very well whom are the good guys for LTR, but for example if she has a high ego she would prefer a lesser guy that does what she wants him to do, rather than a better guy who will challenge her
Well done, that's what I meant.
More than challenging her, I'd say he's respected.
That people who don't respect him are out of his life.
 
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