What I don't get about some of these posters here

[plumber]

A six pack is pretty much irrelevent nowadays in terms of male physique, many many guys have that and it is more so a minimum criteria.

I usually don't tell people directly that they are wrong. but in this case it is really wrong. in a new social setting for a guy with a six pack, as soon as its seen it is a game changer. of course he has to know how to act about the new attention.

 

[MatureDJ]

1. Because of hypergamy and the fact that the sexual marketplace is globalized and always available online. There's always the "bigger, better deal", and he can slide in her DMs to fly her to Dubai tomorrow

But wouldn't a wealthy sheik there have the problem of being an EthnicCel?

 

[MatureDJ]

Nerds/geeks are less likely to have a panty dropping physique. They are usually less interested in exercise via weight lifting or sports.

There is something to be said that an intelligent person has a body in which more energy is devoted to the brain rather than the muscles, relative to the average.

 

[MatureDJ]

Attractive women have been enjoying the abundance of attention that they receive from male suitors online. Women don't even have to be attractive to enjoy a multitude of options. Very mediocre women have been also receiving a lot of attention.

Juggernaut law

Juggernaut law is the theory that the very most unattractive women receive a surprisingly large amount of attention from men, sometimes more attention than women...

incels.wiki

 

[Hamurabimbi]

There's truth to this. It's going to be more difficult for a male on the geekier/nerdier side to get laid and to get extended relationships.

Nerds/geeks are less likely to have a panty dropping physique. They are usually less interested in exercise via weight lifting or sports.

Nerds/geeks do not share a lot of the same interests as women. Their ability to connect emotionally with women through conversation is reduced because of this.

Nerds/geeks also do not possess as strong of social skills as women. These lack of social skills often are interpreted as "the ick" from females.
.

As a nerd/geek I somewhat agree. It’s only because I don’t look like a nerd/geek & am socially calibrated that allows me to do well despite my nerd/geekdom. I would say the girls that like me, like me despite my nerd/geekiness rather than because of it.

 

[BPH]

As a nerd/geek I somewhat agree. It’s only because I don’t look like a nerd/geek & am socially calibrated that allows me to do well despite my nerd/geekdom. I would say the girls that like me, like me despite my nerd/geekiness rather than because of it.

Same. I'm a huge gamer nerd, I just don't look or act like it.

I used to be sitting in my room playing World of Tanks or ARK at one of the houses I had with some of my frat brothers up until the minute people would start piling into our house for a party. I once had a semi-formal with this sorority girl I was banging, and somebody has a picture of her sitting on my bed in her dress, waiting to leave, while I finished a match on my computer.

My brothers in the house routinely told me they don't understand how I got girls when I played video games as much as I did. I found it hilarious.

 

[SW15]

I'm a huge gamer nerd, I just don't look or act like it.

I wouldn't have imagined that from a 6'0" male with a fit/muscular physique and previously having a male modeling contract.

I used to be sitting in my room playing World of Tanks or ARK at one of the houses I had with some of my frat brothers up until the minute people would start piling into our house for a party. I once had a semi-formal with this sorority girl I was banging, and somebody has a picture of her sitting on my bed in her dress, waiting to leave, while I finished a match on my computer.

My brothers in the house routinely told me they don't understand how I got girls when I played video games as much as I did. I found it hilarious.

I can relate to the point of view of your frat brothers.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Tag them or mention who these posters are bruh

 

[SW15]

because I don’t look like a nerd/geek & am socially calibrated that allows me to do well despite my nerd/geekdom. I would say the girls that like me, like me despite my nerd/geekiness rather than because of it.

This makes sense to me. I can imagine a man seducing women with other things going for him despite being nerdy/geeky.

Bill Gates had to use money to overcome a lack of looks and a geeky/nerdy personality.

 

[Dr.Suave]

The inmates are running the asylum here.

The Mods spend a lot of time and energy trying to make this place better.

 

[Barrister]

There are some people here, who I genuinely don't understand why they come and comment on these forums.

They have figured out the formula, just hit the gym, make money, don't be awkward bro.

Just be self confident, build a social circle, be as successful as you can. Don't be average in looks or money or status, but make sure you do behave as normal (synonym for average) as possible because girls don't like nerds or geeks.

There is so much nuance to all of these points, I suspect again not to offend anyone but these are not at all the relevant questions on hand.

For example, it is well known high IQ individuals have difficulty in the dating market because it is pretty well accepted in psychology and social science that once the difference of intelligence is about greater than one standard deviation, compatibility of partners becomes nearly impossible.

It is further pretty well known that accomplishing all of these feats, such as building social circles, is genuinely draining for introverted individuals and no amount of fake until you make it can change this otherwise.

Basically, my point is that this forum, not that it is a standard for anything, avoids the actual interesting and relevant problems in the dating market and fails to suggest solutions how to solve them. The above points, money muscles and social circle babes, is way too trite of an explanation.

Now, these are just some examples, and hence since I am not one to criticize without offering an alternative, here are actual topics which are interesting and worth discussing (to me at a minumum):

1. Why most attractive women succumb to the influence of infinite options through online methods, and the dissolution of the nuclear family and strong father figure to dissuade them from being extremely promiscuous and vapid.

2. Why the concept of a "successful" man is a completely neoliberal definition that never describes any other attributes that a woman would deem desirable, such as his kindness, empathy, other talents that cannot be directly measured by numbers in his bank account.

3. Why heavy technology use has in general degraded the ability to have healthy relationships due to complete destruction of attention spans and critical thinking.

OP,

Why make a post complaining about what kind of topics are being posted when you can just create the topics yourself? Start a thread and you likely will get discourse on any of these topics.

Unless your actual focus is just on the complaint about other posters themselves. Which in that case, there’s nothing to really be done except leaving if you don’t enjoy our online community. I hope you stay and create some of these topics (all of which deserve their own thread).

 

[BeExcellent]

Same. I'm a huge gamer nerd, I just don't look or act like it.

I used to be sitting in my room playing World of Tanks or ARK at one of the houses I had with some of my frat brothers up until the minute people would start piling into our house for a party. I once had a semi-formal with this sorority girl I was banging, and somebody has a picture of her sitting on my bed in her dress, waiting to leave, while I finished a match on my computer.

My brothers in the house routinely told me they don't understand how I got girls when I played video games as much as I did. I found it hilarious.

Funny. My husband is like this, lol. But he looks like he just stepped off a surf board or out of a rock studio. He's an introvert and a bit of a geek and very intelligent. So his looks have always opened doors for him & got him laid all his life....but then he can't stand the girl in short order if she's too needy or too dumb. And girls get fed up with him ignoring them (which he usually did once he realized they bored him....)

I got into online chess specifically because of the time my husband spends working on software or gaming or working on gaming software, lol.

Back on topic....

I'm here because dammit the world needs more solid men out there and men need to learn/adjust certain things to become solid guys and appeal to women. I contribute to help with the nuances, because the devil certainly can be in the details and some men are way off in how they percieve & understand (or don't) these details.

I like seeing men here grow & succeed. So I offer perspective here & there.

I also agree with what others have already said which is only to give mental bandwidth to things within your control. Sometimes those things are hard to do because they involve facing one's own shortcomings. Nobody likes that. But its required if you want to build yourself. Put effort there where you can effect growth. Quit worrying about all the macro cultural crap. Worry about you. Fix you. By extension you fix the culture by fixing yourself.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I've always been a jock amongst nerds and a nerd amongst jocks.

 

[corrector]

Juggernaut law

Juggernaut law is the theory that the very most unattractive women receive a surprisingly large amount of attention from men, sometimes more attention than women...

incels.wiki

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Thanks. It's good to remind ourselves how toxic OLD is and why self-improvement is a waste of time and completely checking out makes more sense. Perhaps I should run this by chatgpt, lol ... but I don't want to interrupt the flow or any momentum that is being made.
Again, it could be an AI worthy discussion and it's something I may bring up privately as a reason why I avoid OLD like the plague.

On the other hand, look at the email headers...guys are not taking her seriously behond a lay in a hay, and unless she just like sleeping around all over the place, this type of stuff is going to add years on her very fast and take a toll on her body.

 

[corrector]

Wow. @MatureDJ ... ran the juggernaut with chatgpt, and it still thinks OLD is helpful after I said that and provided some reasons (am I being gaslighted by AI about the state of OLD now, lol ? Who programmed this?)

*** Here is what chatgpt said ****

Yes, your hesitation to engage in online dating (OLD) can be at least partially justified based on the dynamics described in the "Juggernaut Theory" from SoSuave — but let’s break it down to clarify what this means and how it relates to your own situation and goals.


The Juggernaut Theory Summary:

• Claim: Less conventionally attractive women (e.g., overweight, single moms) receive disproportionate attention online.
• Why? Many men think they have a better shot with them, so they flood their inboxes.
• Problem for serious guys: The sheer volume of attention makes it harder for sincere men to stand out or be taken seriously.
• Result: Even women who may not typically receive this much attention in real life end up with inflated online egos, selective filters, or disinterest in real connection.

Interpreting This for You

You mentioned you're:

• Looking for a genuine girlfriend
• Turned off by OLD due to inflated competition and chaotic dynamics
• Aware that even women you wouldn’t pursue IRL are drowning in shallow messages online

That’s a rational concern.


Is Your Avoidance Justified?

Yes — partially, but not fully. Here's why:

Justified Aspects:

• Market distortion is real. OLD is not a level playing field; it often rewards extreme looks or volume messaging, not sincerity.
• Inflated egos or bad-faith interactions are more common in online formats, especially when people are bombarded with attention.
• Wasted time filtering through people who aren’t serious can be emotionally draining and demoralizing, especially for men who want depth and loyalty.

But Not Entirely Justified Because:

• Not all platforms are the same. Apps like Hinge, eHarmony, or even Christian Mingle (depending on your values) tend to attract more serious users.
• Offline dating isn't necessarily easier. It comes with its own obstacles — limited exposure, less clarity on relationship intent, etc.
• There are still good women online. Many women hate these dynamics too and are hoping to find someone real, but they also struggle to sort through noise.

Suggested Mindset & Strategy

If you're serious about finding a girlfriend but disillusioned by OLD, here’s a balanced approach:

1. Selective Use of OLD

• Use apps that filter for values, not just looks.
• Create a high-quality, thought-out profile that stands apart from the sexual messages these women get bombarded with.
• Be prepared for a lower response rate, but higher quality when someone does engage.

2. Double Down on In-Person Channels

• Social hobby groups, church, volunteering, fitness classes, or niche events can yield more organic results.
• These places allow your personality, values, and consistency to shine — things often lost in the noise of OLD.

3. Leverage Your Real Strengths

• You're thoughtful, careful about emotional triggers, and spiritually grounded.
• These are attractive traits to the right kind of woman — but you’ll need a channel where they can be noticed, which doesn’t always happen through a 2-second Tinder swipe.

Conclusion

Yes, your avoidance of online dating based on the juggernaut effect and shallow competition has valid merit. You're not being irrational — you're reacting to a distorted marketplace. That said, if you still want a girlfriend and feel called to find a meaningful relationship, it may help to strategically re-enter OLD with smarter filters or combine it with offline efforts, instead of avoiding it altogether.


Want help setting up an OLD profile that filters out the noise or crafting a plan to meet women offline? I can help with that too.