What I don't get about some of these posters here

[DreamAgain]

There are some people here, who I genuinely don't understand why they come and comment on these forums.

They have figured out the formula, just hit the gym, make money, don't be awkward bro.

Just be self confident, build a social circle, be as successful as you can. Don't be average in looks or money or status, but make sure you do behave as normal (synonym for average) as possible because girls don't like nerds or geeks.

There is so much nuance to all of these points, I suspect again not to offend anyone but these are not at all the relevant questions on hand.

For example, it is well known high IQ individuals have difficulty in the dating market because it is pretty well accepted in psychology and social science that once the difference of intelligence is about greater than one standard deviation, compatibility of partners becomes nearly impossible.

It is further pretty well known that accomplishing all of these feats, such as building social circles, is genuinely draining for introverted individuals and no amount of fake until you make it can change this otherwise.

Basically, my point is that this forum, not that it is a standard for anything, avoids the actual interesting and relevant problems in the dating market and fails to suggest solutions how to solve them. The above points, money muscles and social circle babes, is way too trite of an explanation.

Now, these are just some examples, and hence since I am not one to criticize without offering an alternative, here are actual topics which are interesting and worth discussing (to me at a minumum):

1. Why most attractive women succumb to the influence of infinite options through online methods, and the dissolution of the nuclear family and strong father figure to dissuade them from being extremely promiscuous and vapid.

2. Why the concept of a "successful" man is a completely neoliberal definition that never describes any other attributes that a woman would deem desirable, such as his kindness, empathy, other talents that cannot be directly measured by numbers in his bank account.

3. Why heavy technology use has in general degraded the ability to have healthy relationships due to complete destruction of attention spans and critical thinking.

 

[BPH]

There are some people here, who I genuinely don't understand why they come and comment on these forums.

They have figured out the formula, just hit the gym, make money, don't be awkward bro.

I can't speak for others, but I continue to post here primarily for 2 reasons:

1. I'm not perfect and still run into problems where I'd want outside opinions from others who (generally) have a better understanding of dating dynamics than people I would otherwise ask for advice in real life
2. This forum is where I got my start and made real improvements, so I'm happy to give back to younger guys who need some guidance. I have infinite patience for people who are terrible at this, but willing to listen and act on advice given

The above points, money muscles and social circle babes, is way too trite of an explanation.

Now, these are just some examples, and hence since I am not one to criticize without offering an alternative, here are actual topics which are interesting and worth discussing (to me at a minumum):

1. Why most attractive women succumb to the influence of infinite options through online methods, and the dissolution of the nuclear family and strong father figure to dissuade them from being extremely promiscuous and vapid.

2. Why the concept of a "successful" man is a completely neoliberal definition that never describes any other attributes that a woman would deem desirable, such as his kindness, empathy, other talents that cannot be directly measured by numbers in his bank account.

3. Why heavy technology use has in general degraded the ability to have healthy relationships due to complete destruction of attention spans and critical thinking.

In bold, you already understand what has the greatest return on investment when it comes to women, so why do you need a more complicated answer?

A lot of people know what they SHOULD do, but they avoid the obvious because it's hard; you could go to the gym and get a 6-pack to attract more women without even having to open your mouth, but why do that when you can make small adjustments to your Instagram DM opener to come across as 5% more alpha?

Anyway, let's answer your 3 word salad questions...

1. Because of hypergamy and the fact that the sexual marketplace is globalized and always available online. There's always the "bigger, better deal", and he can slide in her DMs to fly her to Dubai tomorrow
2. Because there is no initial attraction there. Most women want a man they feel can protect them, and provide for them. Finding out he has a decent personality on the backend is nice, but if he's a bit of a di** it's often not enough of a dealbreaker at that point. I had an analogy I used with a friend of mine who asked why I only go up to hot girls and not ones with good personalities. I told him, "if you could have your wife's personality in the body of Rosie O'Donnell, or Jessica Alba, who would you choose?" He refused to answer to avoid proving my point
3. I don't think technology use did that, I think social media did. TikTok brain rot overstimulated our minds, requiring constant instant gratification, otherwise we scroll off. OnlyFans capitalized on male loneliness and made conventionally attractive women untouchable by the average man by turning them into overnight millionaires. So now we have hypergamous women where there is no "bigger, better deal" because they're out-earning their potential suitors, and men who are taught by society that being conventionally masculine is a "toxic" trait

 

[SW15]

Why heavy technology use has in general degraded the ability to have healthy relationships due to complete destruction of attention spans and critical thinking.

I don't think technology use did that, I think social media did. TikTok brain rot overstimulated our minds, requiring constant instant gratification, otherwise we scroll off. OnlyFans capitalized on male loneliness and made conventionally attractive women untouchable by the average man by turning them into overnight millionaires. So now we have hypergamous women where there is no "bigger, better deal" because they're out-earning their potential suitors, and men who are taught by society that being conventionally masculine is a "toxic" trait

Social media is a form of technology. The whole technology ecosystem has contributed. More women are wearing earbuds/headphones to the gym to avoid getting approached by the majority of men.

OnlyFans changed an already existing environment. Before OnlyFans, there were plenty of conventional porn stars, strippers, and breastaurant workers. That was the sex work environment.

OnlyFans has changed the sex work environment for women.

It's true that it isn't a new phenomenon.

From the 1980s-early 2010s, women in most parts of the USA had to leave their hometowns for Los Angeles and maybe Las Vegas/Miami in order to appear naked/naked and having sex on video.

A lot of women didn't do that. They stayed nearer to their home cities or went somewhere that wasn't Los Angeles to become strippers.

OnlyFans has allowed women to stay home and make money as sex workers from their own homes rather than go out in public to make porn movies or work in a strip club or breastaurant.

OnlyFans has likely affected the strip club environment more. The prevalence of home high speed internet (even preceding OnlyFans) has reduced the desire for a lot of men to go to strip clubs.

We've had a thread about the effect of OnlyFans and higher speed internet connections (another tech form) on strip clubs and breastaurants.

Is OnlyFans Killing the Strip Club and Breastaurant?

We all know that simps are going to simp. Is the venue for simping now different than it used to be? Simps used to need to show up in person to simp. For women, why bother working in a strip club or Hooters/Twin Peaks when you could work at home? The counter argument to that is that few...

www.sosuave.net

There are still many men who go to strip clubs and breastaurants. Both of those environments have been affected but are doing well enough. Hooters filed for bankruptcy will likely end up closing half its existing restaurants or more. That's more of a Hooters-specific problem than a technology or OF problem. Twin Peaks is still doing reasonably well and there are some smaller breastaurants (less than 10 locations) that do well.

The majority of OnlyFans women aren't making much money off of OnlyFans. Additionally, I think OF girls likely have some issues retaining paying customers for a while.

I think the hypergamy issue of higher earning women is more of an issue for corporate, "Girl Boss" types with advance degrees more so than the OnlyFans woman.

 

[DreamAgain]

I can't speak for others, but I continue to post here primarily for 2 reasons:

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1. I'm not perfect and still run into problems where I'd want outside opinions from others who (generally) have a better understanding of dating dynamics than people I would otherwise ask for advice in real life
2. This forum is where I got my start and made real improvements, so I'm happy to give back to younger guys who need some guidance. I have infinite patience for people who are terrible at this, but willing to listen and act on advice given

In bold, you already understand what has the greatest return on investment when it comes to women, so why do you need a more complicated answer?

A lot of people know what they SHOULD do, but they avoid the obvious because it's hard; you could go to the gym and get a 6-pack to attract more women without even having to open your mouth, but why do that when you can make small adjustments to your Instagram DM opener to come across as 5% more alpha?

Anyway, let's answer your 3 word salad questions...

1. Because of hypergamy and the fact that the sexual marketplace is globalized and always available online. There's always the "bigger, better deal", and he can slide in her DMs to fly her to Dubai tomorrow
2. Because there is no initial attraction there. Most women want a man they feel can protect them, and provide for them. Finding out he has a decent personality on the backend is nice, but if he's a bit of a di** it's often not enough of a dealbreaker at that point. I had an analogy I used with a friend of mine who asked why I only go up to hot girls and not ones with good personalities. I told him, "if you could have your wife's personality in the body of Rosie O'Donnell, or Jessica Alba, who would you choose?" He refused to answer to avoid proving my point
3. I don't think technology use did that, I think social media did. TikTok brain rot overstimulated our minds, requiring constant instant gratification, otherwise we scroll off. OnlyFans capitalized on male loneliness and made conventionally attractive women untouchable by the average man by turning them into overnight millionaires. So now we have hypergamous women where there is no "bigger, better deal" because they're out-earning their potential suitors, and men who are taught by society that being conventionally masculine is a "toxic" trait

A six pack is pretty much irrelevent nowadays in terms of male physique, many many guys have that and it is more so a minimum criteria.

The goalposts have shifted where you have to have a very noteworthy physique and frankly now the lines have become blurred as to what is acceptable and what isn't to achieve this.

Even pro athletes won't look impressive necessarily in street clothes, or even with their shirts off, it is clear there is a PED propagation in the market with these guys who have the top physiques, particularly on instagram and dating apps.

Making money nowadays is increasingly more challenging due to the economic conditions across the West, inflation for real estate (50% increases from only a few years ago) is still sticky and automation via AI is around the corner for many jobs.

It is clear to me market expectations in the dating market have not aligned with reality for boots on the ground people.

 

[DreamAgain]

It is further well known that women prefer more and more dark triad characteristics from men, to me this is a clear correlation with neoliberalist ideas, and the dissolution of the nuclear family, and the neutering of religion beyond just virtue signaling with church/synagogue visits here and there. Mosques are a different story.

 

[SW15]

Why most attractive women succumb to the influence of infinite options through online methods, and the dissolution of the nuclear family and strong father figure to dissuade them from being extremely promiscuous and vapid.

Because of hypergamy and the fact that the sexual marketplace is globalized and always available online. There's always the "bigger, better deal", and he can slide in her DMs to fly her to Dubai tomorrow

@DreamAgain wrote something that isn't well worded. I'll try to word his part better.

Why have most attractive women succumbed to the influence of infinite options through online methods? What has been the role of the dissolution of the nuclear family in this? What have been the cultural effects of many women lacking of strong father figure who could dissuade them from negative behavior such as promiscuity?

Here's my initial take on the re-worded question. It's not a complete take by any means but it's a start of a discussion.

Attractive women have been enjoying the abundance of attention that they receive from male suitors online. Women don't even have to be attractive to enjoy a multitude of options. Very mediocre women have been also receiving a lot of attention.

Hypergamy is something that has been a factor for women for a while. Up until recent decades, most women had fewer options to exercise their hypergamy. In 1990, a 23 year old woman who was above average looking couldn't get nearly the amount of attention that her 23 year old equivalent would get today. 23 year old woman in 1990 had to rely most on visiting 1 bar at a time on one night to get attention. While 1990 woman could get some attention at the bars, the sexual interest that she could generate at big city bars is a small fraction of what 2025 woman can get on social media platforms and swipe apps.

I think there's an argument that the young women of the past 20-25 years (Millennials and Gen Z) grew up in more dysfunctional households. 1980s-1990s born Millennial females often grew up during the Boomer divorce wave of the 1980s-early 2000s. Their fathers were less of a presence in their lives and that had something lacking for them. This might lead to them seeking fulfillment from dopamine hits of attention via technology. Additionally, a lot of Boomer fathers (either the ones with lasting marriages or the Boomer divorcees) were weaker leads than the predecessors, often because they were trying to keep together a relationship with a woman whose mindset had been influenced by Second Wave Feminism (1960s-1980s feminism). The decades of the 1960s-1980s were a transitional period in the mating environment in most Western countries and Boomer parents of Millennial children got really caught up in this era. It made for an awkward phase. Many of the negative trends of Millennials are partially due to this wildly changing environment. Gen Z has also had its fair share of negativity emerge from their Gen X parents.

 

[BPH]

A six pack is pretty much irrelevent nowadays in terms of male physique, many many guys have that and it is more so a minimum criteria.

The goalposts have shifted where you have to have a very noteworthy physique and frankly now the lines have become blurred as to what is acceptable and what isn't to achieve this.

Even pro athletes won't look impressive necessarily in street clothes, or even with their shirts off, it is clear there is a PED propagation in the market with these guys who have the top physiques, particularly on instagram and dating apps.

Making money nowadays is increasingly more challenging due to the economic conditions across the West, inflation for real estate (50% increases from only a few years ago) is still sticky and automation via AI is around the corner for many jobs.

It is clear to me market expectations in the dating market have not aligned with reality for boots on the ground people.

I think you're overanalyzing the simplicity of the dating world in an effort to sound intelligent.

Saying that a 6-pack is irrelevant because plenty of men have them is ridiculous. Plenty of women have big boobs, doesn't make them any less attractive. In fact, increasingly more women are getting fake boobs because it has such a significant return on investment when it comes to attracting a man.

 

[DreamAgain]

I think you're overanalyzing the simplicity of the dating world in an effort to sound intelligent.

Saying that a 6-pack is irrelevant because plenty of men have them is ridiculous. Plenty of women have big boobs, doesn't make them any less attractive. In fact, increasingly more women are getting fake boobs because it has such a significant return on investment when it comes to attracting a man.

Plenty of women absolutely do not have big breasts. Getting fake breasts is absolutely not equivalent to a man getting a six pack.

Any man on this earth can get a six pack naturally.

It is a very rare occurrence for a woman to be naturally slim with relatively large, natural breasts.

 

[DreamAgain]

@DreamAgain wrote something that isn't well worded. I'll try to word his part better.

Why have most attractive women succumbed to the influence of infinite options through online methods? What has been the role of the dissolution of the nuclear family in this? What have been the cultural effects of many women lacking of strong father figure who could dissuade them from negative behavior such as promiscuity?

Here's my initial take on the re-worded question. It's not a complete take by any means but it's a start of a discussion.

Attractive women have been enjoying the abundance of attention that they receive from male suitors online. Women don't even have to be attractive to enjoy a multitude of options. Very mediocre women have been also receiving a lot of attention.

Hypergamy is something that has been a factor for women for a while. Up until recent decades, most women had fewer options to exercise their hypergamy. In 1990, a 23 year old woman who was above average looking couldn't get nearly the amount of attention that her 23 year old equivalent would get today. 23 year old woman in 1990 had to rely most on visiting 1 bar at a time on one night to get attention. While 1990 woman could get some attention at the bars, the sexual interest that she could generate at big city bars is a small fraction of what 2025 woman can get on social media platforms and swipe apps.

I think there's an argument that the young women of the past 20-25 years (Millennials and Gen Z) grew up in more dysfunctional households. 1980s-1990s born Millennial females often grew up during the Boomer divorce wave of the 1980s-early 2000s. Their fathers were less of a presence in their lives and that had something lacking for them. This might lead to them seeking fulfillment from dopamine hits of attention via technology. Additionally, a lot of Boomer fathers (either the ones with lasting marriages or the Boomer divorcees) were weaker leads than the predecessors, often because they were trying to keep together a relationship with a woman whose mindset had been influenced by Second Wave Feminism (1960s-1980s feminism). The decades of the 1960s-1980s were a transitional period in the mating environment in most Western countries and Boomer parents of Millennial children got really caught up in this era. It made for an awkward phase. Many of the negative trends of Millennials are partially due to this wildly changing environment. Gen Z has also had its fair share of negativity emerge from their Gen X parents.

Great points.

 

[BPH]

Plenty of women absolutely do not have big breasts. Getting fake breasts is absolutely not equivalent to a man getting a six pack.

Any man on this earth can get a six pack naturally.

It is a very rare occurrence for a woman to be naturally slim with relatively large, natural breasts.

The effort required doesn't matter, the end result does.

No woman is going to care whether I got a 6-pack by going to the gym one time, or going one thousand times over the course of several years.

Just as most men won't care whether a woman was born with naturally big breasts, or whether she bought them.

You're overanalyzing natural attraction as if some nuance is the "secret sauce", when it's just a matter of giving the opposite sex what they want...

 

[DreamAgain]

The effort required doesn't matter, the end result does.

No woman is going to care whether I got a 6-pack by going to the gym one time, or going one thousand times over the course of several years.

Just as most men won't care whether a woman was born with naturally big breasts, or whether she bought them.

You're overanalyzing natural attraction as if some nuance is the "secret sauce", when it's just a matter of giving the opposite sex what they want...

You are absolutely wrong, many men would care if the breasts are natural or not, just like if her face is natural or not.

Your argument is a complete non sequitur, and you're exactly the type of person I mentioned in my opening post.

 

[BPH]

You are absolutely wrong, many men would care if the breasts are natural or not, just like if her face is natural or not.

Look, if you want to complain about the dating world and seek to understand something that's going to increase your success rate by 0.125%, be my guest. It's really not that complicated...

Confident Man > Shy Man
Feminine Woman > Masculine Woman
Rich Man > Poor Man
Big Boobs > Small Boobs
6-Pack > Beer Gut
Thick A** > Flat A**

But feel free to pretend this is harder to understand than it is.

 

[DreamAgain]

Look, if you want to complain about the dating world and seek to understand something that's going to increase your success rate by 0.125%, be my guest. It's really not that complicated...

Confident Man > Shy Man
Feminine Woman > Masculine Woman
Rich Man > Poor Man
Big Boobs > Small Boobs
6-Pack > Beer Gut
Thick A** > Flat A**

But feel free to pretend this is harder to understand than it is.

You completely missed the point, on to the ignore list you go.

 

[BPH]

You completely missed the point, on to the ignore list you go.

You're wasting time having discussions about things that don't matter because you want to come off as an intellectual in an environment where it's not required to achieve success, as if you're somehow "better" because you're considering these other things.

Do what you want.

 

[New_Journey]

They have figured out the formula, just hit the gym, make money, don't be awkward bro.

Nobody has figured out anyhting, not even women have. This is the formula to become a guy worth a damn, not only for you, but for the people around you.

because girls don't like nerds or geeks.

Can you tag the person who said this? I haven't read that in this forum.

it is well known high IQ individuals have difficulty in the dating market because it is pretty well accepted in psychology and social science that once the difference of intelligence is about greater than one standard deviation, compatibility of partners becomes nearly impossible.

Bull$hit cope

money muscles and social circle babes, is way too trite of an explanation.

These points are to make you more attractive, nothing more, nothing less.

Why most attractive women succumb to the influence of infinite options through online methods, and the dissolution of the nuclear family and strong father figure to dissuade them from being extremely promiscuous and vapid.

Why are you being bothered by this? Nobody can change this, so why give a fvck?

such as his kindness, empathy, other talents

Emotional tampons are kind and have empathy, but they can't get puzzy, therefore, that doesn't turn women on, next.

Why heavy technology use has in general degraded the ability to have healthy relationships due to complete destruction of attention spans and critical thinking.

Here take this for your crying



Stop worrying about thing you can't change.

 

[DreamAgain]

Nobody has figured out anyhting, not even women have. This is the formula to become a guy worth a damn, not only for you, but for the people around you.


Can you tag the person who said this? I haven't read that in this forum.


Bull$hit cope


These points are to make you more attractive, nothing more, nothing less.


Why are you being bothered by this? Nobody can change this, so why give a fvck?


Emotional tampons are kind and have empathy, but they can't get puzzy, therefore, that doesn't turn women on, next.


Here take this for your crying

View attachment 14231

Stop worrying about thing you can't change.

Damn I guess it's time to leave this forum, the inmates are running the asylum here.

 

[BPH]

Damn I guess it's time to leave this forum, the inmates are running the asylum here.

Bro if you're this fragile I have a hard time believing you'd ever be successful in the current dating landscape...

 

[New_Journey]

Damn I guess it's time to leave this forum, the inmates are running the asylum here.

I'm giving you my perspective, don't worry about things you can't control, worry about making yourself more fvckable.

 

[SW15]

girls don't like nerds or geeks.

There's truth to this. It's going to be more difficult for a male on the geekier/nerdier side to get laid and to get extended relationships.

Nerds/geeks are less likely to have a panty dropping physique. They are usually less interested in exercise via weight lifting or sports.

Nerds/geeks do not share a lot of the same interests as women. Their ability to connect emotionally with women through conversation is reduced because of this.

Nerds/geeks also do not possess as strong of social skills as women. These lack of social skills often are interpreted as "the ick" from females.

it is well known high IQ individuals have difficulty in the dating market because it is pretty well accepted in psychology and social science that once the difference of intelligence is about greater than one standard deviation, compatibility of partners becomes nearly impossible.

Bull$hit cope

This isn't cope. This is a realistic assessment. Being too intelligent (as measured by IQ) is often a liability in the mating environment. This is because individuals with high IQs often have low EQs and reduced social skills.

High IQ guys often don't exercise enough to have a panty dropping physique to compensate for a lack of social skills.

 

[BadBoy89]

There are some people here, who I genuinely don't understand why they come and comment on these forums.

Who said you need to understand it?

1. Why most attractive women succumb to the influence of infinite options through online methods,

For the same reason men succumb to the influence of hot women through online methods.

and the dissolution of the nuclear family and strong father figure to dissuade them from being extremely promiscuous and vapid.

They are not related.

A woman could be a virgin and there could be a weak father figure.
A woman could be a virgin and there could no nuclear family.

2. Why the concept of a "successful" man is a completely neoliberal definition that never describes any other attributes that a woman would deem desirable, such as his kindness, empathy, other talents that cannot be directly measured by numbers in his bank account.

Because kindness and empathy don't help women survive in the real world and don't give them strong, capable offspring.

It's a woman's DNA to want a man's genetics for offspring and resources for protection. This site has been though this many times.

3. Why heavy technology use has in general degraded the ability to have healthy relationships due to complete destruction of attention spans and critical thinking.

They are not related.

Heavy technology has made opened up more options for men, but it has nothing to do with having a healthy relationship.

Heavy technology has not destroyed critical thinking. In fact, its probably helped . People can read and understand history now, how things work, how the world operates, how countries govern.

Lots of assumptions in your post.