Single mommy: Guy is 40 - to think that you're going to date women who don't already have children, who have never been married, is absolutely absurd

[Slowhandluke]

I don't know why Hollywood doesn't cast single mothers in male "love interest" roles.

You know, if Taylor Swift was a single mom, if Selena Gomez was a single mom, if Sydney Sweeney was single, if Margot Robbie was a single mom, if Oliva Dunne was a single mom, I think men would have no issue with them.

But for some reason, the entertainment industry doesn't cast them. Not sure why. I mean, they are grown up, attractive, and more feminine, right?

Because most people wouldn't go see those movies. Even when females are casted as the leading character, there's a good chance the movie will not do well... In general, men and WOMEN do not want to see these types of movies. Having a female character more into her child (e.g., "my child is the world") then the male protagonist.. or having the main characters not being able to ride into the sunset because the mom's kid needs to stay in the same school district as when the divorced happened... Isn't a "feel good" movie people want to see.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I don't know why Hollywood doesn't cast single mothers in male "love interest" roles.

You know, if Taylor Swift was a single mom, if Selena Gomez was a single mom, if Sydney Sweeney was single, if Margot Robbie was a single mom, if Oliva Dunne was a single mom, I think men would have no issue with them.

But for some reason, the entertainment industry doesn't cast them. Not sure why. I mean, they are grown up, attractive, and more feminine, right?

There are plenty of movies and shows with single moms.

 

[BaronOfHair]

...but I think a single mommy is undateable...

Until you begin approaching chicks out in RL, you'll find both the dog and the fire hydrant more undateable than The Mongols MC have found expanding into Texas, so long as The Bandidos remain active

 

[BadBoy89]

In general, men and WOMEN do not want to see these types of movies. Having a female character more into her child (e.g., "my child is the world") then the male protagonist.

There are plenty of movies and shows with single moms.

Didn’t mean single moms as characters, Meant in real life.

If Sydney Sweeney was a single mom in real life, would they cast her as the Vixen in the Erotic thriller The Housemaid?
If Margot Robbie was a single mom in real life, would they cast her in Wolf Wall Street?
If Selena Gomez was a single mom when young, would a record company sign and promote her?
If Taylor Swift was a single mom, would she sell out as many concerts?


If the answer is “no”, that means single mothers don’t have sex appeal. If single mothers don’t have sex appeal, how is a man supposed to be attracted to them?

Note: when talking single mothers, we are not talking have sex with her once and never see again. We are talking dating, relationship, marriage, child with her.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Didn’t mean single moms as characters, Meant in real life.

If Sydney Sweeney was a single mom in real life, would they cast her as the Vixen in the Erotic thriller The Housemaid?
If Margot Robbie was a single mom in real life, would they cast her in Wolf Wall Street?
If Selena Gomez was a single mom when young, would a record company sign and promote her?
If Taylor Swift was a single mom, would she sell out as many concerts?


If the answer is “no”, that means single mothers don’t have sex appeal. If single mothers don’t have sex appeal, how is a man supposed to be attracted to them?

Note: when talking single mothers, we are not talking have sex with her once and never see again. We are talking dating, relationship, marriage, child with her.

If I understand you correctly, you are wondering if men would date single women more if they looked hot (like, Sweeney, peak Robbie, peak Gomez, etc.). I think if we lived in a fairy tale world where the majority of single women were "hot", yes, men would date them more. I think we all can agree on that. "Sex appeal" is independent of being a single mom. A woman can be very physically. attractive and also a single mom.

However, if you are talking about "dating to get married"; then the answer is no. Most guys would not because of the many disadvantages of a longterm relationship with a single mom (you can google them yourself - but one example is not being able to , in most cases, discipline the mom's child(s); also older women are usually stuck in their ways; not to mention, the higher risk of a future divorce due to having a previous divorce, etc.. etc. )

So in conclusion, if divorced women had the attributes of younger women (e.g., being hot, being fertile, not jaded, etc.), yes, men would date divorced women more.

 

[viking22]

I'd say there are some major advantages to dating single mums. They know there is a bit of a stigma so are more accommodating. She has responsibilities so is probably going to be more mature and less selfish. Going on dates requires arranging childcare and logistics so she is probably dating a lot more intentionally. She is also likely to be more realistic in her expectations.

Obviously we all want to date young beautiful single women. But that is hard to pull off for most men. So your alternative in reality is most likely to be a single career woman in her late 30s/early 40s who's never been married never has children and is probably very demanding very entitled and has unrealistic expectations and is more likely to be a serial dater. They may still be attractive but they will generally be very difficult to deal with and as an older man you shouldn't be jumping through lots of hoops.

 

[Westminster]

I'd say there are some major advantages to dating single mums. They know there is a bit of a stigma so are more accommodating. She has responsibilities so is probably going to be more mature and less selfish. Going on dates requires arranging childcare and logistics so she is probably dating a lot more intentionally. She is also likely to be more realistic in her expectations.

Obviously we all want to date young beautiful single women. But that is hard to pull off for most men. So your alternative in reality is most likely to be a single career woman in her late 30s/early 40s who's never been married never has children and is probably very demanding very entitled and has unrealistic expectations and is more likely to be a serial dater. They may still be attractive but they will generally be very difficult to deal with and as an older man you shouldn't be jumping through lots of hoops.

Sounds like being caught between a rock and a hard place.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I lowered my guard and gave a single mom a try months ago. We met at a club and she told me in plain English she wanted it (guess what, she left with a friend) and then we went out for a drink and I started my mode one and more convo about her wanting it - and you know what I found out? She has full custody. In other words she has the kids every night. With way too much of the dialogue that evening discussing single parent topics. She hasn’t been laid in a year at that point in her life and she even could have come over mid day when I had that kind of flexibility.

Yes, I know single moms have a reputation for being open and available but that social dynamic is just a different breed of cat in general. Maybe : likely it’s just my immaturity but I generally hang out in my free time with childless people in general.

I think dating a single mom would bring on a level of seriousness and coordination I’m not looking for. I have seen first hand that childless women, five to six years younger than me, can step up equally if not better into a quasi parental role. Meanwhile they have entirely free schedules and the ability to plan and do things socially that single moms just don’t, and they’re not exhausted in the way a single parent is. I also want to devote as little time as necessary into single parent topics. Life is too short. So given that, I don’t see why I would leave my comfort zone here.

 

[MatureDJ]

I'd say there are some major advantages to dating single mums. They know there is a bit of a stigma so are more accommodating. She has responsibilities so is probably going to be more mature and less selfish. Going on dates requires arranging childcare and logistics so she is probably dating a lot more intentionally. She is also likely to be more realistic in her expectations.

Obviously we all want to date young beautiful single women. But that is hard to pull off for most men. So your alternative in reality is most likely to be a single career woman in her late 30s/early 40s who's never been married never has children and is probably very demanding very entitled and has unrealistic expectations and is more likely to be a serial dater. They may still be attractive but they will generally be very difficult to deal with and as an older man you shouldn't be jumping through lots of hoops.

So you're saying that a man should date single mommies because it's something he could pull off?

 

[plumber]

maybe it makes sense to balance the red flags. for example; if you have kids then its ok for her to have kids. remember the brady bunch...

if you don't have kids, then maybe it makes sense for that to be a hard no. just remember every hard no shrinks your options, some of the hard no will shrink your options by a lot.

for me kids are not the worst. just like everything else just have to have boundary. if the kids mom will not respect your boundary, however you set it, then she is out.

 

[DJ Novice]

Best to stick to women whose children are over 18 and more independent and child support is no longer an issue if it doesn’t work out.

 

[Solomon]

If you're a childless man over 40 I totally get where the guy is coming from. I'm in that age and I tell SMs straight up I don't look for anything serious, you learn quickly dealing with them isn't worth it, especially if you have options etc.

 

[Westminster]

Best to stick to women whose children are over 18 and more independent and child support is no longer an issue if it doesn’t work out.

While this will mean that logistics are easier, older children still bring burdens.

Nowadays, so many young people are still at home in the 20s, even 30s and they often resent a new presence in the family. In fact, more often than not. They're also a drain with their own relationship and work problems. Then you're into childcare for grandkids (which, of course, are not yours). It never stops.

 

[plumber]

While this will mean that logistics are easier, older children still bring burdens.

Nowadays, so many young people are still at home in the 20s, even 30s and they often resent a new presence in the family. In fact, more often than not. They're also a drain with their own relationship and work problems. Then you're into childcare for grandkids (which, of course, are not yours). It never stops.

it can go both ways. it is an extension of connections. if your the new alpha of course you have to take care of the new pack. as long as they also support you. in some cases its a good thing with an instant new support group. it can go either way.. good or bad.