Reading between the lines knowledge

[jhonny9546]

When was your revelation moment, i.e. when you realized that you can now understand the behaviors of both women and men and say "I know what's happening because I can read between the lines of this"?


What were the keys and most important things learned for you to get to this?

 

[The Duke]

There was never a light bulb moment for me, but I noticed I could read between the lines pretty well in my early 40's.

I've developed these skills thru awareness, empathy, observing, listening, socializing, and being involved with all types of people on different levels.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

when you realized that you can now understand the behaviors of both women and men

This really isn't an "aha" moment where you move from not being able to do it to being able to do it.

It's a skill set that will, hopefully, continue to get better and better the more social experience you get.

But for me, this started back in my 30's when I started getting heavily involved in public speaking.

Public speaking increases social confidence, decreases social anxiety and opens up your brain to start noticing things going on all around you.

For most people, it's not really a matter of learning how to do this, rather it's about turning off all the nervous social anxiety driven chatter that allows you to do it naturally.

Reading between the lines, reading the room, understanding the subtext, etc., is a natural part of our evolutionary programming, as we are highly social primates.

 

[jhonny9546]

Public speaking

Have you noticed that you've acquired analytical skills, and that after doing so, you now analyze people's behaviors more, and you're also able to persuade others better?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Have you noticed that you've acquired analytical skills, and that after doing so, you now analyze people's behaviors more, and you're also able to persuade others better?

Sort of, but "acquired" isn't really the right word.

Because public speaking destroys a lot of social anxiety, so you have a lot more of your brain processing power available to think about that stuff.

It's like taking off heavy ankle weights and noticing you can run a lot faster. You didn't really "acquire" faster running skills.

If your brain is consumed by social anxiety, you're not going to notice all the signals.

Get rid of the social anxiety (which public speaking does) and your brain has a lot more powerful available to notice and interpret all the social signals.