What should I do in a small town.

[nelysses]

After a few months and losing 20 kilos (still 15 to lose), this site came to mind again, and I want to ask a small question. I'm studying medicine for six years in my country, and I still live with my family in my small town. Yes, with my family.
Even though there's a big city nearby, I don't go there much. I've never even been to places like bars.
I have two questions here. I know something theoretical but not too practical. Then I realized the real problem was not being able to reach the stomachs.

Where can I meet people in a small town? (There are only cafes, etc., but can I just go up to someone and say, "Hey, I saw you and I like you?") Also, I have 4-5 friends, and they're all girls. So maybe people think I have a girlfriend.
And my second question, I've never been to a bar or club, and honestly, it's the first time I'm hesitant about something. Because it's a different city, different dynamics, how should I approach them, should I buy something for a girl, etc.? And yes, I'll be going there with the same girl friends.

 

[Aguirre]

The problem of reaching the stomachs? I assume that is a typo, but it maybe a freudian slip: you're trying to lose weight but are still thinking of food...

"Hey, I saw you and I like you" might give women the impression you're a stalker as well as beta vibes. This can only ever work if a woman considers you to be a 10/10 and has been eagerly waiting for Fabio to show up and take charge.

If you only have women as friends, you likely have beta traits and lack the alpha traits that women desire.

Are there no group activities going on in your town?

Do not buy a woman a drink or anything. You need to learn some game before you hit the bars, learn some basics first -- you need offense as well as the ability to protect yourself.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Nelysses,
From my observations on the scene in Turkey,outside the major Cities,bars are very few and far between.In Konya it was impossible to even buy bottled beer.In Istanbul the few Bars were for expats and *hores.

 

[Gamisch]

One option; move.

Normally I don't advice taking drastic measures just to get women, but at your age it might be worth it...

 

[Scaramouche]

One option; move.

Normally I don't advice taking drastic measures just to get women, but at your age it might be worth it...

Hi Gamisch,
Yeah,timely advice,but his Parents nest is a secure base to conduct serious study from...Till he has his qualifications,perhaps better to stay put?

 

[Gamisch]

Hi Gamisch,
Yeah,timely advice,but his Parents nest is a secure base to conduct serious study from...Till he has his qualifications,perhaps better to stay put?

Ah , I glanced over that part my bad.

Well....in that case I will give the most important and yet dullest advice I can give:

-APPRECIATE that you can live at home

- save money stack it like crazy and finish school

A1-forget about women for now?
A2-do a @We_ArE_VeNOM ( for context, he is a vivid supporter of cold approach) and approach women left and right while ACCEPTING cold approach for all the good bad and ugly.

 

[nelysses]

The problem of reaching the stomachs? I assume that is a typo, but it maybe a freudian slip: you're trying to lose weight but are still thinking of food...

"Hey, I saw you and I like you" might give women the impression you're a stalker as well as beta vibes. This can only ever work if a woman considers you to be a 10/10 and has been eagerly waiting for Fabio to show up and take charge.

If you only have women as friends, you likely have beta traits and lack the alpha traits that women desire.

Are there no group activities going on in your town?

Do not buy a woman a drink or anything. You need to learn some game before you hit the bars, learn some basics first -- you need offense as well as the ability to protect yourself.

To be honest, my English isn't very good, so I'm using a translator on this site and it's mistranslated it Group activities are very rare in my city. Since we're a university near a big city, nobody really needs group activities. The problem is, their houses are there, but I live here. I've had relationships with 2-3 girls before, but they were all girls I found on Instagram. All my friends are girls because I only see guys once a week at most. Even then, we just chat and play PlayStation or something. Honestly, I enjoy this activity more than girls. Also, everyone else has girlfriends except me

Hi Nelysses,
From my observations on the scene in Turkey,outside the major Cities,bars are very few and far between.In Konya it was impossible to even buy bottled beer.In Istanbul the few Bars were for expats and *hores.

There are a few big cities, and they're full of bars. In smaller cities like mine, cafes are more common. Because people go to the big cities. By the way, I don't normally drink alcohol anyway, but in my city you can't even buy alcohol after 10 PM. Konya is a slightly different example. It's known as one of the most conservative cities in Türkiye
I don't know why, but sometimes I feel intimidated by my family too.

One option; move.

Normally I don't advice taking drastic measures just to get women, but at your age it might be worth it...

In my country, medical school lasts six years. I have 1.5 years left. After that, I'll have to move, but I'm afraid it will be too late. I feel like my university life has been wasted. Actually, I'll still be 24 when I graduate, but an inexperienced 24. Staying in a different house in the same city is an option, but rents are quite high, and I don't earn my own money.

 

[Gamisch]

To be honest, my English isn't very good, so I'm using a translator on this site and it's mistranslated it Group activities are very rare in my city. Since we're a university near a big city, nobody really needs group activities. The problem is, their houses are there, but I live here. I've had relationships with 2-3 girls before, but they were all girls I found on Instagram. All my friends are girls because I only see guys once a week at most. Even then, we just chat and play PlayStation or something. Honestly, I enjoy this activity more than girls. Also, everyone else has girlfriends except me


There are a few big cities, and they're full of bars. In smaller cities like mine, cafes are more common. Because people go to the big cities. By the way, I don't normally drink alcohol anyway, but in my city you can't even buy alcohol after 10 PM. Konya is a slightly different example. It's known as one of the most conservative cities in Türkiye
I don't know why, but sometimes I feel intimidated by my family too.


In my country, medical school lasts six years. I have 1.5 years left. After that, I'll have to move, but I'm afraid it will be too late. I feel like my university life has been wasted. Actually, I'll still be 24 when I graduate, but an inexperienced 24. Staying in a different house in the same city is an option, but rents are quite high, and I don't earn my own money.

So option " be patient and save money" it is.

Look, you can be frustrated all you want: you either move, perhaps meet a woman who makes your life hard; bad choice

Or

Stay, you don't meet women ..bad choice.

I don't know..

 

[nelysses]

So option " be patient and save money" it is.

Look, you can be frustrated all you want: you either move, perhaps meet a woman who makes your life hard; bad choice

Or

Stay, you don't meet women ..bad choice.

I don't know..

Actually, the first option seems good

I'm so bored and feel like I'm too late to gain experience. But for some reason, I'm hesitant around myself and my family. For example, when I go to a bar to have a drink, I guess I don't know if I'll end up with my family again.

What I mean is, my aim in writing this wasn't to fully solve anything. I just wanted to get comments about this phobia and wonder what I can do in a small town.

There are people on campus. In cafes too. And these people are constantly meeting each other. So I thought, maybe there's something wrong with me. What am I going to do if I can't just go up to someone in a cafe or on campus and say "I like you"?

I talked to a female friend I constantly see with different guys and she said, "Dude, you're 185 cm tall, you're studying at medical school, how haven't you found anyone yet?" just i don't know.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

@We_ArE_VeNOM ( for context, he is a vivid supporter of cold approach) and approach women left and right while ACCEPTING cold approach for all the good bad and ugly.

This^.

The good, the bad, the ugly.

You'll win. You'll lose. You may even break even.

But you can't win, if you don't play.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Get through medical school first. If you happen to meet someone along the way then great, but don't sweat it.

Right now you have little time for the demands of a girlfriend/dating/etc., and it could create more headaches than not. Want to be dealing with a bad break up right before your boards? Not good.

Once you are in practice you will meet people more organically. You are in a conservative culture if I remember correctly...

I used to work with an Egyptian doctor. He had been an ER physician in Cairo before coming to the US. He was tall, good looking, funny, smart, trim.

He met his wife in the ER in Cairo. His wife had come with her mother, who was being treated for something. I asked him if that was awkward. He said, sure, a little bit....but in my culture it can be difficult to meet a good woman who is attractive. He liked his wife's kindness/caring toward her mom & thought she was pretty. So he asked her out.

You will have opportunities. Focus on med school for now.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm studying medicine for six years in my country, and I still live with my family in my small town. Yes, with my family.
Even though there's a big city nearby, I don't go there much. I've never even been to places like bars

Unless you're among the small sliver of humanity who feels that you've been called to be healer,

-Move to that larger city

-Start becoming more social

-Find a vocation other than medicine. One that doesn't require 6 years of schooling + exhaustive internships, BEFORE you can actually make something approaching a living

 

[Barrister]

Build it first. Worry about women second.

And while it may be for the wrong reasons, women are going to naturally gravitate towards you once you are a doctor. It’s not going to be hard to meet women once you are have that degree. However, they could certainly make your path there more difficult if you worry about it now. Don’t do it.