We need to have an intervention about Theory

[CornbreadFed]

There are too many sexually unattractive men spreading nonsense, and it's gotten out of hand.

New Rule: You shouldn’t be allowed to discuss theories or "Alpha male" nonsense unless you’ve confidently reached a point where you never go longer than a month without sex unless by choice. Otherwise, you’re not sexually attractive to women and should focus on more productive pursuits. In a relationship or hopping from one partner to another? Fine, but if you broke up with your partner right now, you should feel confident in finding someone new within a month.

Now, why has theory gotten bad

1) Focuses too much on the male gaze rather than the female gaze - If you actually interacted with women, you would realize that the ideal man celebrated by the manosphere does not align with the female gaze. I have NEVER heard a girl say she has a crush on Fitxfearless, Andrew Tate, Austin Dunham, Rollo Tomasi, Myron Gaines, etc.

2). It brainwashes men to not take action- Jeff finds a coworker attractive and decides to ask her out on a date to Chili's. They go, have a great time, and eventually start dating...simple as that. But then come the "theory police" with all their rules: Jeff can’t take her to Chili's because it’s not impressive enough, he can only see her on specific days to show his value, and he shouldn’t confirm the date because it’s considered weak. Plus, what if she goes to someone else’s house after the date, or reports him to HR? The overthinking is endless! All Jeff really needs to do is set a time and place, be confident, and be likeable. It’s straightforward, she’ll either like him or she won’t!

3). Obsession with hypergamy - Your average woman isn't spending 95% of her free time and mental energy chasing after some Chad. I see animals avoiding moving vehicles all the time because they don't want to die. According to this perspective, women are supposedly willing to risk everything for a chance with a Chad. If that's the case, maybe her current situation wasn't that great to begin with?

The whole Alpha and Beta male stuff or Neolithic analogies- nobody cares about that outside the internet. When women meet you, they’re focused on whether you meet their basic standards for attractiveness, if you’re compatible with their life, and whether you’re enjoyable to be around or just plain creepy. That’s it! If every woman only wanted an Alpha male, the world would be in chaos since there simply aren’t enough Alpha males for everyone to reproduce with.

 

[Captain Redbeard]

I agree that we need to place a premium on taking action. Theoretical discussions quickly devolve into mental masturbation sessions. No one will ever live up to the theoretical standard of perfection so it is easy for the theory po-po as you call them to point out every little misstep.

Perfectly summed up by The Man In The Arena:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

 

[BaronOfHair]

Dunno how successful an "intervention" would be, nonetheless just as Ecomodernists/Post-Environmentalists have been challenging the tenets of Green Thought for a looooooooong f-c-ing time now https://www.amazon.com/Post-environmentalism-John-Young/dp/1852932503

More of us need to start interrogating Red Pill Thought for it's accuracy, rather than mindlessly repeating it's catechisms, like parishioners at The People's Temple

 

[Bigpapa]

Much easier to explain lack o success with theory that tells you that it is not about you, than to accept some hard to swallow things

 

[plumber]

The whole Alpha and Beta male stuff or Neolithic analogies- nobody cares about that outside the internet. When women meet you, they’re focused on whether you meet their basic standards for attractiveness, if you’re compatible with their life, and whether you’re enjoyable to be around or just plain creepy. That’s it! If every woman only wanted an Alpha male, the world would be in chaos since there simply aren’t enough Alpha males for everyone to reproduce with.

yes the world would be in chaos.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I actually agree with most of what you said. A lot of guys forget that in the game of seduction, it’s not 100% on the man. I’d say it’s about 40% men, 40% women, and 20% luck/timing/chemistry. Some guys have such low self-esteem they forget women should be seducing them too. Attraction is mutual and not a one-sided job interview.

That said, I think you might want to clarify point #3 about hypergamy since you recently mentioned in another thread you created that women who are sixes or sevens in looks might be sleeping with nines or tens, which raises their expectations and leaves the average guy feeling inadequate, especially with the globalization of dating, the alpha widow effect, and red pill. So, in your view, what parts of hypergamy are true and what parts aren’t?

3 Reasons why the average man is struggling today | SoSuave Discussion Forum

 

[CornbreadFed]

That said, I think you might want to clarify point #3 about hypergamy since you recently mentioned in another thread you created that women who are sixes or sevens in looks might be sleeping with nines or tens, which raises their expectations and leaves the average guy feeling inadequate, especially with the globalization of dating, the alpha widow effect, and red pill. So, in your view, what parts of hypergamy are true and what parts aren’t?

You are right and I should have specified that I am talking about normal women that you need to connect through social means and not the broken women you see lurking on the Apps, Clubs, Bars, and etc. These women are going to be hypergamous because they are mentally unstable and basically using the Apps/Clubs akin to a gambling addict at a casino. When you only meet women through Apps, Clubs, and Bars then you get put in this echo-chamber of a false reality.

 

[tksniper]

I don’t think an intervention is needed. Truth is beauty, and beauty is truth. Truth is like a beautiful woman who effortlessly shows up. Theory is like the hb 6 who has to constantly tell you how many guys are after her.

As human beings, we are highly intuitive. We know real value when we see it. It’s actually quite obvious to everyone in this forum when you know your stuff or don’t.

If anything we need to have an intervention on signal to noise ratio. Some guys talk (or type ) a lot but they are not really saying anything. They are just posting on sosuave because it’s part of their daily routine. This kind of attitude dilutes the quality of sosuave.

I was on a date today with a woman from Kazakhstan. I met her when I caught uber over the weekend. She rejected my first attempt to number close her. So I built more rapport and more trust and she gave me her number on the second try. When I asked for the date, she rejected me yet again. So I showed more vulnerability and honesty over the phone and she agreed.

Today we met up for coffee after her classes at a local college. She’s in the college’s nursing program. I was able to build some rapport because I graduated from that college (I’m 41, she’s 29).

Now here’s where I fvcked up- I spent the entire uber ride and text messaging representing myself as some romantic hero guy aka Jack Dawson form Titanic level of charm. But when we were on our date, for some reason (I used to be a dumbass PUA), I started dhv’ing (demonstrating higher status) about my h0es in different areas codes. I looked at her and she looked like she was about to cry. Here she is thinking she finally found a good guy who somehow swept her off her feet as an uber passenger, only to realize im just another fvckboy. My lack of character betrayed my charm.

Then I suddenly remembered I used to date another chick from Kazakhstan back when I lived in San Francisco. I was just a nice guy to her but she looked at me like I was some romantic hero. I was reminded again that women form oppressed third world countries surrounding Russia are often taken for granted and abused by men.

We walked around center city, grabbed some coffee, and chit chatted. I couldn’t help but to notice every woman was looking at her with jealousy. She had a feminine charm about her that most American women can’t match.

It also reminded me of my former coworker who was from Brazil who couldnt speak a lick of English but has women treating him as if he was prime Channing Tatum because he had a level of masculinity about him that most American guys can’t project.

The lesson I learned today was that it all comes down to being a highly integrified man with good intentions and masculinity and you will attract your female equivalent. Like attracts like.

And this is what I mean by signal to noise ratio. I didn’t post this because it’s part of my daily routine. I posted it because I had a profound experience today and I felt like it might help someone who reads about it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I actually agree with most of what you said. A lot of guys forget that in the game of seduction, it’s not 100% on the man. I’d say it’s about 40% men, 40% women, and 20% luck/timing/chemistry. Some guys have such low self-esteem they forget women should be seducing them too. Attraction is mutual and not a one-sided job interview.

That said, I think you might want to clarify point #3 about hypergamy since you recently mentioned in another thread you created that women who are sixes or sevens in looks might be sleeping with nines or tens, which raises their expectations and leaves the average guy feeling inadequate, especially with the globalization of dating, the alpha widow effect, and red pill. So, in your view, what parts of hypergamy are true and what parts aren’t?

3 Reasons why the average man is struggling today | SoSuave Discussion Forum

you’re joking right

I don’t think I’ve ever seen you post a field report or infer once that you had a date in your 1500 posts here.

if I’m wrong, please show me

 

[Clockwerk50]

you’re joking right

I don’t think I’ve ever seen you post a field report or infer once that you had a date in your 1500 posts here.

if I’m wrong, please show me

Someone woke up in the wrong side of the bed.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Someone woke up in the wrong side of the bed.

Unlike yours, my bed had a woman in it

 

[Clockwerk50]

Unlike yours, my bed had a woman in it

A sex doll doesn't count.

 

[Divorced w 3]

A sex doll doesn't count.

There you go keep showing us again and again why we should be taking advice from someone like you

 

[Clockwerk50]

There you go keep showing us again and again why we should be taking advice from someone like you

Thankfully opinions are like *******s, everyone has one.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Thankfully opinions are like *******s, everyone has one.

Opinions are all you’ve got buddy, you post zero , literally nothing, about any exploits on your own seduction efforts

 

[Clockwerk50]

Opinions are all you’ve got buddy, you post zero , literally nothing, about any exploits on your own seduction efforts

I appreciate how much attention you give to my posts. Not sure if I should feel flattered or creeped out.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I appreciate how much attention you give to my posts. Not sure if I should feel flattered or creeped out.

You lost me in the thread on the ‘drinks’ date when you suggested he move ahead with a woman who blew him off as well as used him and abused him. You admitted to not even reading the thread. You said context was irrelevant.

The irony, that you would participate in a thread focused on the problems with incels turning theorizing into advice was too ironic, even for me.

You are one of the most active members of this board. You’re hard to miss. Unfortunately, none of that content is about any of your interactions of the opposite sex. Watching you buddy up to @ValiantMale was painful, but I said nothing as a lot of folks were swayed and I had other fish to fry.

In my opinion, worry about getting laid first, before you espouse ideas to others.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

highly integrified man with good intentions and masculinity

This is what most guys, unfortunately, don't have.

Most guys have an outcome and have zero concern how getting that outcome will affect the lady in question.

Sure, they convince themselves they are "nice guys" but they really aren't.

Last night I had a nice long conversation with a lady just because the opportunity presented itself.

She was buying some Reese's in the drugstore and we ended up talking about our favorite peanut butter combinations since childhood.

I had no intention of closing her, but as the conversation got longer and longer, I could tell she was hoping I would.

It was just a genuinely enjoyable conversation that kind of popped out of nowhere.

Relax and enjoy yourself, don't be afraid to take conversational risks, and enjoy whatever happens.

No theory required.

When women meet you, they’re focused on whether you meet their basic standards for attractiveness, if you’re compatible with their life, and whether you’re enjoyable to be around or just plain creepy.

The only way to get there is get in the game and practice as much as you can.

 

[The Duke]

There are too many sexually unattractive men spreading nonsense, and it's gotten out of hand.

New Rule: You shouldn’t be allowed to discuss theories or "Alpha male" nonsense unless you’ve confidently reached a point where you never go longer than a month without sex unless by choice. Otherwise, you’re not sexually attractive to women and should focus on more productive pursuits. In a relationship or hopping from one partner to another? Fine, but if you broke up with your partner right now, you should feel confident in finding someone new within a month.

Now, why has theory gotten bad

1) Focuses too much on the male gaze rather than the female gaze - If you actually interacted with women, you would realize that the ideal man celebrated by the manosphere does not align with the female gaze. I have NEVER heard a girl say she has a crush on Fitxfearless, Andrew Tate, Austin Dunham, Rollo Tomasi, Myron Gaines, etc.

2). It brainwashes men to not take action- Jeff finds a coworker attractive and decides to ask her out on a date to Chili's. They go, have a great time, and eventually start dating...simple as that. But then come the "theory police" with all their rules: Jeff can’t take her to Chili's because it’s not impressive enough, he can only see her on specific days to show his value, and he shouldn’t confirm the date because it’s considered weak. Plus, what if she goes to someone else’s house after the date, or reports him to HR? The overthinking is endless! All Jeff really needs to do is set a time and place, be confident, and be likeable. It’s straightforward, she’ll either like him or she won’t!

3). Obsession with hypergamy - Your average woman isn't spending 95% of her free time and mental energy chasing after some Chad. I see animals avoiding moving vehicles all the time because they don't want to die. According to this perspective, women are supposedly willing to risk everything for a chance with a Chad. If that's the case, maybe her current situation wasn't that great to begin with?

The whole Alpha and Beta male stuff or Neolithic analogies- nobody cares about that outside the internet. When women meet you, they’re focused on whether you meet their basic standards for attractiveness, if you’re compatible with their life, and whether you’re enjoyable to be around or just plain creepy. That’s it! If every woman only wanted an Alpha male, the world would be in chaos since there simply aren’t enough Alpha males for everyone to reproduce with.

Everybody is a somebody on the internet and thats the problem. Too many clowns competing for clicks. Take what works, apply yourself, and improve yourself. At the end of the day a guy has to put himself in position to converse with multiple women to figure out what works and what doesn't. lt doesn't take very long to reach the point where you don't need someone's theories.

Too many pretenders blowing hot hair these days. Notice the guys on this site that know what they are doing with women don't use any PUA jargon.

 

[Clockwerk50]

You lost me in the thread on the ‘drinks’ date when you suggested he move ahead with a woman who blew him off as well as used him and abused him. You admitted to not even reading the thread. You said context was irrelevant.

The irony, that you would participate in a thread focused on the problems with incels turning theorizing into advice was too ironic, even for me.

You are one of the most active members of this board. You’re hard to miss. Unfortunately, none of that content is about any of your interactions of the opposite sex. Watching you buddy up to @ValiantMale was painful, but I said nothing as a lot of folks were swayed and I had other fish to fry.

In my opinion, worry about getting laid first, before you espouse ideas to others.

So this is what it’s about. You’re just frustrated that people do not share your opinions or take your advice seriously.

Does this mean you are going to leave the forum just because someone disagrees with you or what?