Lied in tinder (I’m 39 not 29, she's 27)

[Daniel in der Schweiz]

Hey fellas,

I set up a tinder profile to practice. I did it putting my age as 10 years younger, to be able to match with 20 somethings.
Now this girl I matched really wants to meet, in a hookup vibe for what I sense. Not sure if I should disclose my real age and, if so, when.
I'm 39 but I can give the impression of a 29. Yet, I do have some gray hair and wrinkles, so she might get suspicious.
She pues feminism in her profile, so I'm afraid that she could cancell me if I tell her, especially if after sex or if she gets mad at me for anything.
I thought maybe set up a facetime through tinder beforehand, and disclose it there... Still, she's not girlfriend material, so I don't know if I should take so much trouble.

 

[SW15]

Lying about age will eventually be discovered and will not be well received. Lying about age causes more problems than it solves.

A 10 year difference is very difficult to pull off without getting discovered. A guy might be able to pull off 1-3 years if he only does short term casual sex and doesn't get into committed relationships. In a more committed relationship, a discovery about a fake age will end a relationship.

 

[Gamisch]

Extremely weak.

Yeah, let that be a lesson. Even if you take one year from your real age you'll be struggling whenever she asks you some about your birthday.

It's the worst way to start. If you do like her ,you'll eventually have to ditch her because you opened with a lie.

Just be honest for Christ sake. A 29 y.o woman been fedking 40+ y.o men since she is 17. At 29 she lived at least 4 lives already, your current age means nothing to her.

We all tried this once, but experienced men know that this is considered a BIG lie. You won't be able to mimic both what it's like to grow up in a different era, plus it takes away from the actual era you grew up in ( Nintendo 8 bit, duckhunt, Mario bros Zelda ect to PS1 to growing up without internet ect). Eventually it's an insecure move, she will unconsciously feel you thinks she's better than you...this puts her ahead of you by 3 to nill from the get go.

Carry yourself with pride. Your haircut, your body, your job, your scars, your triumphs.

 

[Daniel in der Schweiz]

Extremely weak.

Yeah, let that be a lesson. Even if you take one year from your real age you'll be struggling whenever she asks you some about your birthday.

It's the worst way to start. If you do like her ,you'll eventually have to ditch her because you opened with a lie.

Just be honest for Christ sake. A 29 y.o woman been fedking 40+ y.o men since she is 17. At 29 she lived at least 4 lives already, your current age means nothing to her.

We all tried this once, but experienced men know that this is considered a BIG lie. You won't be able to mimic both what it's like to grow up in a different era, plus it takes away from the actual era you grew up in ( Nintendo 8 bit, duckhunt, Mario bros Zelda ect to PS1 to growing up without internet ect). Eventually it's an insecure move, she will unconsciously feel you thinks she's better than you...this puts her ahead of you by 3 to nill from the get go.

Carry yourself with pride. Your haircut, your body, your job, your scars, your triumphs.

Thank you for your comment, you are right. What do you think about doing a facetime first, then disclose my age saying I was doing an experiment and try to pull it off from there

 

[Gamisch]

Thank you for your comment, you are right. What do you think about doing a facetime first, then disclose my age saying I was doing an experiment and try to pull it off from there

I mean, you can give it a try...at worst you'll learn something. At best she doesn't mind.

Tbh I would ride with the current age, rearrange her guts and only then come clean. Perhaps if she is somewhat adDICted she'll be more receptive to that news.

None to lose.

 

[Gamisch]

" whenever you as a man adjust in a dishonest way you try to please her. And what she find pleasing or not is none of your bizz. The moment you make it her business means you admit there is sometimes so dominant about her that you feel intimidated and you manipulate your own law to align with her in order to get some p000sy. "

Never switch up for them. Let her switch up for YOU!!

 

[HaleyBaron]

This is the main problem with tinder and other dating apps. It hides all the details necessary, so all men and women see is a picture and some words. The human connection needs in-person communication and cues to form a bond or an attraction [or an unattraction]. Being older is always a benefit, but without being in person, a woman can't see your charm or other details that would override the "he's old" impression women will have.

 

[SW15]

What do you think about doing a facetime first, then disclose my age saying I was doing an experiment and try to pull it off from there

This will not result in you getting laid from the interaction. She will not react well about your age lie.

This is the main problem with tinder and other dating apps. It hides all the details necessary, so all men and women see is a picture and some words. The human connection needs in-person communication and cues to form a bond or an attraction [or an unattraction]. Being older is always a benefit, but without being in person, a woman can't see your charm or other details that would override the "he's old" impression women will have.

On a swipe app, women in their mid 20s would regard a late 30s/early 40s man as "old". They would write him off immediately. Most are filtering those men out due to age, so they don't see those men in their card stack when they swipe.

A 27 year old woman will see that a 39 year old man swiped right on her, but she'll usually consider him too old, swipe left, and move on with her life.

In real life, a 27 year old woman could be successfully seduced by a 39 year old man. Looks and money will be a big part of it. Money helps with getting age gap relationships like that. His real life presence will help with that. In the medium to longer term, there could be some issues with that age gap, but that's a different conversation.

 

[pipeman84]

You're really looking for trouble, aren't you? If you behave like this, at best you're going to be catfished, at worst you'll meet some mentally deranged woman who'll accuse you of rape or get her ex to pay you a visit.
I suggest you get your sh!t together and stop acting like a lowlife. As to the pickle you're currently in, just ghost her.

 

[Bible_Belt]

No play for Mr Gray.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

To make this work at all. You need to scrub your personal data on the internet. I did. It was a pain in the a$$ but worth it.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Thank you for your comment, you are right. What do you think about doing a facetime first, then disclose my age saying I was doing an experiment and try to pull it off from there

Don’t say that. I’m not sure how OLD accounts work, but at least say it was a typo.

I would disclose it before meeting her, and it can be done through text, a call, a voice note, smoke signals, etc.

(For context: I have a typo on my age on this site.)

 

[BaronOfHair]

She pues feminism in her profile...

.
She's announcing her religious affiliation. Do you adhere to this same theology? If not, your union with her might be more unhappy than that time The Colonial Powers threw Sunnis and Shias together, then named their creation "Iraq"