Should I Spin My GF’s Best Friend as a Plate?

[justacoder]

So, from a Plate Theory perspective, I’m considering asking out my girlfriend’s best friend. I’ve only met her once, but I noticed she sometimes asks my girl about how I think and process things in the relationship — typical girly gossip stuff. I also sense she keeps comparing me with her own boyfriend, who comes off as a bit insecure and overly possessive in certain situations. That makes me wonder if it’s a good move to ask her out. She’s 26, this is her first relationship, less than a year old, and before getting into this first relationship she was shy but had the intent to explore options later ended up with this possessive like guy. Her boyfriend has even told his family he’ll marry her, but she hasn’t — saying it’s too early. To me, that signals she might be missing a dominant, masculine frame in her current setup. I’ll likely meet her again at a gathering soon, so what would you suggest as the best way to escalate from here?”

 

[Gamisch]

Razor Rambo?

Let's call in the sosauve CEO of the investigation team: @Divorced w 3

I feel a 3-0 coming up..

 

[Manure Spherian]

So, from a Plate Theory perspective, I’m considering asking out my girlfriend’s best friend. I’ve only met her once, but I noticed she sometimes asks my girl about how I think and process things in the relationship — typical girly gossip stuff. I also sense she keeps comparing me with her own boyfriend, who comes off as a bit insecure and overly possessive in certain situations. That makes me wonder if it’s a good move to ask her out. She’s 26, this is her first relationship, less than a year old, and before getting into this first relationship she was shy but had the intent to explore options later ended up with this possessive like guy. Her boyfriend has even told his family he’ll marry her, but she hasn’t — saying it’s too early. To me, that signals she might be missing a dominant, masculine frame in her current setup. I’ll likely meet her again at a gathering soon, so what would you suggest as the best way to escalate from here?”

It’s fair game. I consider all unmarried, non-cohabitating, child-free “gf’s” fair game.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Yes, If yall are in an open relationship.

 

[justacoder]

Yes, If yall are in an open relationship.

Ty, what if it's not?

 

[Manure Spherian]

So, from a Plate Theory perspective, I’m considering asking out my girlfriend’s best friend. I’ve only met her once, but I noticed she sometimes asks my girl about how I think and process things in the relationship — typical girly gossip stuff. I also sense she keeps comparing me with her own boyfriend, who comes off as a bit insecure and overly possessive in certain situations. That makes me wonder if it’s a good move to ask her out. She’s 26, this is her first relationship, less than a year old, and before getting into this first relationship she was shy but had the intent to explore options later ended up with this possessive like guy. Her boyfriend has even told his family he’ll marry her, but she hasn’t — saying it’s too early. To me, that signals she might be missing a dominant, masculine frame in her current setup. I’ll likely meet her again at a gathering soon, so what would you suggest as the best way to escalate from here?”

Are you intending to marry your “gf”?

 

[Manure Spherian]

Ty, what if it's not?

If you don’t intend to propose to this gf of yours, your “relationship” is open. Do you live with your gf?

 

[justacoder]

It’s fair game. I consider all unmarried, non-cohabitating, child-free “gf’s” fair game.

same with me. As per you in this will hypergamy would do the job or would like to settle here with the current one (her bf) and not taking risk as the girl is shy and would trust the bond not to mess up things with her bestie?

 

[Manure Spherian]

same with me. As per you in this will hypergamy would do the job or would like to settle here with the current one (her bf) and not taking risk as the girl is shy and would trust the bond not to mess up things with her bestie?

I don’t understand this post.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Ty, what if it's not?

then stop being a bvtch made woman and break up with her. If you are going to cheat, cheat the smart way, not the beta male scarcity mindset way.

 

[SW15]

I’m considering asking out my girlfriend’s best friend.

If yall are in an open relationship.

what if it's not?

This sounds like it is a monogamous, committed relationship. It might be too early to tell if @justacoder would consider marrying his girlfriend.

Trying to get a primary girlfriend's best friend as a sex partner is a bad idea in most relationship types. That can even cause drama in open relationships.

A less close friend of a primary girlfriend in an open relationship might be possible, but that's subjective.

In this situation, I would not recommend pursuing your girlfriend's best friend.

If you are going to cheat, cheat the smart way, not the beta male scarcity mindset way.

In most monogamous relationships, extramarital/extrarelational sex happens within social circles rather than from random approaches or app swiping.

With married couples, a married man who is in a subpar marriage ends up socializing with a married woman who is also in a subpar marriage. The unhappily married people have sex with each other, often breaking up 2 marriages.

Here's what that might look like in real life.

A married man goes to a sports practice/sports game for one of his children and meets a married mom of one of the other children at the sports practice/sports game. They have some sort of immediate connection, one that seems superior to the current mediocre to subpar marriages that both have at that time. Then, they escalate and have sex.

 

[CornbreadFed]

In most monogamous relationships, extramarital/extrarelational sex happens within social circles rather than from random approaches or app swiping.

With married couples, a married man who is in a subpar marriage ends up socializing with a married woman who is also in a subpar marriage. The unhappily married people have sex with each other, often breaking up 2 marriages.

Here's what that might look like in real life.

A married man goes to a sports practice/sports game for one of his children and meets a married mom of one of the other children at the sports practice/sports game. They have some sort of immediate connection, one that seems superior to the current mediocre to subpar marriages that both have at that time. Then, they escalate and have sex.

A married woman has more to lose and won't call your house at 1am with threats.

 

[SW15]

A married woman has more to lose and won't call your house at 1am with threats.

That's a good point and it is true. That's more of a secondary issue.

The typical married man doesn't have enough seduction ability to get an affair partner through approaching strangers at bars or through a swipe app. The typical married man was a beta male who struggled to get laid prior to his marriage. He remembers this. If he's realistic, he knows that neither is a good move. While he might encounter more unattached women at bars or on swipe apps, he won't be well positioned to be successful with them, even if he can conceal his marriage.

It's easier for the married man to have an affair with a married woman in his social network because of the convenience and access factors.

 

[Clockwerk50]

This sounds like it is a monogamous, committed relationship. It might be too early to tell if @justacoder would consider marrying his girlfriend.

Trying to get a primary girlfriend's best friend as a sex partner is a bad idea in most relationship types. That can even cause drama in open relationships.

A less close friend of a primary girlfriend in an open relationship might be possible, but that's subjective.

In this situation, I would not recommend pursuing your girlfriend's best friend.



In most monogamous relationships, extramarital/extrarelational sex happens within social circles rather than from random approaches or app swiping.

With married couples, a married man who is in a subpar marriage ends up socializing with a married woman who is also in a subpar marriage. The unhappily married people have sex with each other, often breaking up 2 marriages.

Here's what that might look like in real life.

A married man goes to a sports practice/sports game for one of his children and meets a married mom of one of the other children at the sports practice/sports game. They have some sort of immediate connection, one that seems superior to the current mediocre to subpar marriages that both have at that time. Then, they escalate and have sex.

Let’s just say I got close to someone who is married. Her husband had cheated on her twice. He was not caught in the act, but she found enough evidence to be sure. Despite that, they still live together in their multi-million dollar home. They have two kids, shared investments that can’t be accessed for another ten years, and other entanglements. They now sleep in separate rooms.

She told me she was mentally separated, even though her husband still seemed somewhat invested in the relationship, despite knowing she wanted nothing to do with him. He wanted to "start from 0".

I’m completely sure everything she told me was true. But I’m also completely sure that if she happened to be having sex with someone else and her found out about it he would lose it.

 

[CornbreadFed]

That's a good point and it is true. That's more of a secondary issue.

The typical married man doesn't have enough seduction ability to get an affair partner through approaching strangers at bars or through a swipe app. The typical married man was a beta male who struggled to get laid prior to his marriage. He remembers this. If he's realistic, he knows that neither is a good move. While he might encounter more unattached women at bars or on swipe apps, he won't be well positioned to be successful with them, even if he can conceal his marriage.

It's easier for the married man to have an affair with a married woman in his social network because of the convenience and access factors.

Exactly, I would have to hide a swipe app/going to the bars first. Then, I have to get through all of the pre-sex steps which requires time, money, and the mental anxiety of hiding both relationships. After sex, the girl now has leverage over you because she can always rad you out to your current partner if she wanted to pull the cards on you. This is why I consider this beta male simp way of cheating lol.

 

[BaronOfHair]

So, from a Plate Theory perspective...

THAT''s doing you fewer favors than Feminist Theory does most women. Boffing GF's BFF is comparable to hunting boar, with a wailing car alarm strapped around your abdomen... Do it, IF your goal is to be empty handed

 

[BaronOfHair]

Trying to get a primary girlfriend's best friend as a sex partner is a bad idea in most relationship types

Yeah, this is to us men similar to young womens's urges to roll in the hay with either an older sister's SO, or a teacher whom she happens to be a student of...

The "naughtiness" of such antics makes them thrilling, even though most reasonably intelligent people recognize that acting out these fantasies is the equivalent of jumping off The Empire State building sans even a parachute, all the while thinking:

"No sweat... I'll fly eventually"

 

[justacoder]

Yeah, this is to us men similar to young womens's urges to roll in the hay with either an older sister's SO, or a teacher whom she happens to be a student of...

The "naughtiness" of such antics makes them thrilling, even though most reasonably intelligent people recognize that acting out these fantasies is the equivalent of jumping off The Empire State building sans even a parachute, all the while thinking:

"No sweat... I'll fly eventually"

This makes a true sense to me, appreciated for dropping your valuable points. I find the risk & drama might thrill her ("as her bf is a beta who's still giving shoulders to his exes whenever they want or need him) and me both but this will end up in a low reward thing fr. Her bf is so ready to marry her told his parents about him, got her for dinner with them but from girl's side it's still on hold.

 

[justacoder]

I don’t understand this post.

Basically, does hypergamy function in every situation? For example, do women compare their boyfriends to their friends' boyfriends? If so, why? Even if someone is better, what they could do at max?

 

[BaronOfHair]

I find the risk & drama might thrill her ("as her bf is a beta who's still giving shoulders to his exes whenever they want or need him) and me both...

The "forbiden-ness" of this fantasy makes it more appealing in your/possibly her imagination than the probable outcome of you all giving in to your urges in reality. Same way Call Of Duty is much more entertaining than a RL gunfight is